“The Ick”

[petitspois]

I think anything where they think they have a talent or something is good and it really, really isn't. Wearing something that actually looks awful, showing off their cooking when it's really mediocre, thinking they have an amazing car when it's tit - all massively off putting.
If they were a bit self deprecating then it would be much more palatable.

 

[SqualorVictoria]

Yes! And it's always the most mediocre men who are arrogant and convinced of their own greatness

 

[Olivebread123]

Oh my god I’m so happy I’ve found this thread I thought it was only me who got the ick!
I am seriously cursed with getting the ick very badly and suddenly after being REALLY in to the guy. They only need to do something small for me to go from 100 to 0 with them some examples are -

- my ex was quite short and I found out he bought trainers with a bit of a heel to give him more height
- telling me he enjoys being ‘romantic’ together when we had been on 2 dates. I liked him up until then.
- intense eye contact during sex
- laughing at his own (unfunny) jokes
- annoying high pitch shrill laugh
- mimicking of accents done badly

once the ick is there there is no going back

edit: I also remember this time I was about 17 and fancied the duck out of this guy at my sixth form. We were getting closer and closer to something happening, until we went on a school trip together and I saw him getting changed. Unfortunately I’d never before noticed how big his bum was and he was wearing checkered old man boxers put me right off and made the rest of the trip pretty awks

 

[CarrieW24]

This thread makes me happy to know I'm married and no longer dealing with dating. If I ever feel like I want a divorce in the future, I'll force myself to comeback and read this!
I had icks that I didn't know were icks until seeing them mentioned here. 90% of all things mentioned I can resonate with!

 

[justapossum]

This thread always makes me laugh so thought I'd share some of my recent Tinder date stories (safe to say I'm taking a break from dating).

1. He was EXTREMELY tall and would not stop commenting how "cute and small" I was, which creeped me out. Also, I clocked within about a day of talking that he had a foot fetish. Didn't bother me that much at first, but he was more interested in talking about my feet than me.
2. Turns out he moved out of his parents' home... to live in his dad's caravan. He was very camp in person.
3. First date was one of the best, but after that straight away he got real comfortable and just wanted to "chill and watch movies", would not stop putting on an overly gay voice when commenting on things. It was not funny. I cannot stand unfunny situations make me cringe so hard.
4. Actually got as far as 3 dates, we disagreed on a subject (it wasn't a big deal) and he called it a day because apparently I was horrible and harsh for calling him out when he was being offensive towards me?
5. First date, got to the pub, he ordered us drinks, sat down and said "right, best to get this out of the way - me and my brother used to do drugs, he got a bit messed up, and now he is in prison for stabbing someone, I'm alright though."

 

[skvallertant]

would not stop commenting how "cute and small" I was, which creeped me out.

I get this ALL. THE. TIME.

Does anyone else find that some men say things like "aww" and giggle or something when you say anything even vaguely intelligent? Maybe I come across as thick or something and they're surprised? IDK!

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

5. First date, got to the pub, he ordered us drinks, sat down and said "right, best to get this out of the way - me and my brother used to do drugs, he got a bit messed up, and now he is in prison for stabbing someone, I'm alright though."

This has sent me. I’ve got absolutely no words

 

[justapossum]

I get this ALL. THE. TIME.

Does anyone else find that some men say things like "aww" and giggle or something when you say anything even vaguely intelligent? Maybe I come across as thick or something and they're surprised? IDK!

Yes! I swear some men treat me like a child because of my height or when I get angry or passionate about something they're like "awww you're so adorable" and don't take me seriously! Also a guy that's obsessed with me being small just doesn't sit right with me

This has sent me. I’ve got absolutely no words

Glad to have entertained you

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

What was your response? I would have said I’m going to the toilet and ran away.

I have just remembered another thing, I hate when guys speak so loudly, I went on a few dates with a guy who was just so loud, I used to have to say use your inside voice. My poor eardrums.
He then text me to say how long till I get a kiss and that was the end if you text me after I’ve left how long until we kiss well the answer clearly is never

 

[CheshireLove]

What was your response? I would have said I’m going to the toilet and ran away.

I have just remembered another thing, I hate when guys speak so loudly, I went on a few dates with a guy who was just so loud, I used to have to say use your inside voice. My poor eardrums.
He then text me to say how long till I get a kiss and that was the end

I actually find men who are too loud rather frightening and upsetting so any guy who is unable to control the volume of his voice is a big no. It’s not a big ask that you be aware of how bloody loud you are! So embarrassing when you’re out with a guy and the whole place can hear him...

(Ross is the worst but this I how I feel when a man is too loud!)

 

[justapossum]

What was your response? I would have said I’m going to the toilet and ran away.

I was stunned. I finished my drink, and said I had to get going and he asked whether we could go back to mine for a drink and I was like uhhhh no

 

[emmer_moans]

I actually find men who are too loud rather frightening and upsetting so any guy who is unable to control the volume of his voice is a big no. It’s not a big ask that you be aware of how bloody loud you are! So embarrassing when you’re out with a guy and the whole place can hear him...

View attachment 232751
(Ross is the worst but this I how I feel when a man is too loud!)

I once tried to suggest to my partner that he needs to use inside voice and he got really offended and sulky. Sometimes I don't think people realise how loud they are talking when you are sat right next to them.

The ick for me is coffee breath, vocal fry, wet lips.

 

[SqualorVictoria]

I never get how coffee breath can be so bad. It can smell like a

 

[skvallertant]

This thread is making me remember some people I'd really rather forget.

A few years ago a colleague of mine set me up on a blind date with a guy from her department at our work. Lots of ick ensued...

- he turned up wearing a dirty tshirt with holes in it.
- he immediately tried to hold my hand when we sat down at a table in the bar and kept asking if it was weird to hold my hand when I pulled it away.
- removed his beanie hat that he had been wearing the whole time and started lamenting how badly he was balding.
- volunteered apropos of nothing that he was a virgin until the previous year (I think he was around 31 at the time of our date. It's cool, but like.. why are you telling me this on our first date?).
- he slagged off his colleagues.
- described himself as a sapiophile.
- he got absolutely blind drunk very quickly, so this whole debacle only really lasted a few hours, but I had to put him in a taxi to send him home. The next day I got an absolute wall of text on What's App about how he can't remember much of what happened and that he would like another chance because that wasn't "the real" him.
- when I didn't respond to the What's App he tried to call me at my office at work, but luckily someone else took the phone and didn't put him through. I'm just happy he didn't come down to the department to look for me

I'm cringing so hard just writing this.. wtf was the person who set us up thinking?! She was very apologetic though which I guess is something.

 

[HowlOwl]

I get this ALL. THE. TIME.

Does anyone else find that some men say things like "aww" and giggle or something when you say anything even vaguely intelligent? Maybe I come across as thick or something and they're surprised? IDK!

This isn’t an ick from an ex-boyfriend but from a boss, who would think it highly amusing that I would read a broadsheet newspaper at lunchtime, as if I was trying to be clever or something! (He had several boss icks actually, especially the standing far too close thing).

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

Musicians give me the worst ick I’ve dated two who practically shagged their guitars and thought they could sing and one who had DJ DECKS and would sent me mixes.

Haha I find DJs so sexy omg

 

[holliebollie]

Recent date kept questioning how I knew what ‘three score and ten’ meant when he had only just found out. I said, I think you underestimate what I actually know if THAT is shocking Looking back, he wrote ‘cereal killer’ and not as a joke

Reading this thread really makes me despair of men. I know there are some nice ones but WHERE?! Stop giving us the ick with your pointy shoes, patronising voices and creepy vibes!

 

[CarrieW24]

Recent date kept questioning how I knew what ‘three score and ten’ meant when he had only just found out. I said, I think you underestimate what I actually know if THAT is shocking Looking back, he wrote ‘cereal killer’ and not as a joke

Reading this thread really makes me despair of men. I know there are some nice ones but WHERE?! Stop giving us the ick with your pointy shoes, patronising voices and creepy vibes!

I hate when they think you're not allowed to know more than them. One saw a bright star, asked me if I knew what it was. I said Venus. He was so upset that I knew and he couldn't educate me it ended in a row. Then he consoled himself by saying it was "beginners luck" couldn't accept that I just knew it.

Another said "good for you" after he asked me what I was studying. I hate that phrase, it's so condescending

Another showed his violent side early on (thankfully) because I won a poker game. I don't even like poker, I was playing it for him. He threw his cards, his chips, and my drink across the room in front of my friends. I was so embarrassed I brought him over. I still cringe thinking about it. He tried to apologise but I don't give second chances to something like that... Always makes me weary that if this is him at the "polite" stage what will he be like at the "comfortable" stage?

 

[aimzalicious]

View attachment 232751
(Ross is the worst but this I how I feel when a man is too loud!)

So funny you said this because me and my best friend were discussing this morning about how Ross is the worst but he's also the focal point of all my favourite Friends episodes

It's interesting that foot fetishes would be brought up too because my last two big exes have both had foot fetishes. And at the time I wouldn't mind doing feet stuff with them because I really liked them and wanted to please, but I think back now and want to throw up in my mouth. I think my feet are rank as well, I had to make sure to scrub and moisturise them before every time I'd stay over at their house One of the exes made me buy little white socks to wear during sex too. I kept them after we broke up because they're actually cute socks

Oh and get this: one of the feet exes said that summertime was "really hard" for him because seeing girls feet in sandals everywhere was the equivalent of seeing their boobs. I don't even remember what I replied, I think I've put that memory in a black hole somewhere in my mind

 

[SqualorVictoria]

Oh god, I also hate "good for you". And there's an Irish saying which is similar "well for some". E.g "I'm having a lie in Saturday morning (after working all week) "it's well for some, I've to work today". A guy said that to me once and it pissed me right off