“The Ick”

[Fourcandles]

Oh my god I get the ick so easily and often for things that wouldn’t bother other people or wouldn’t bother me if other people did them

The things that sounded the death knell for my most recent relationship:
- Using ‘lol’ in text messages.
- using a hanky
- coming into the living room saying ‘don’t go near your toilet, it stinks’ after being in there for 10 minutes
- wearing a hoodie when meeting my friends for the first time at a relatively formal occasion

Very irrational ones that have given me the ick in previous relationships:
- trying to hold my hand in the back of a car with my friends
- asking me if my earrings were from Venice. What a weird fucking question. Still sends shivers down my spine thinking about it

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

I’ve seen people use wedding photos!! Hang on...

 

[Trolleydollycoffeelover]

Crocs. Had a date with a fit Kuwaiti - muscular, hot accent, gorgeous Arabic fragrance then I looked down and saw the world’s most effective method of contraception, a pair of Crocs.

 

[birdiefly246]

The worst is when they have 1 blurry group photo and nothing else. How is anyone suppose to know who you are?!

I might actually be going straight to hell for this, but when you see a picture with two guys and you think one of them is fit but it turns out the profile belongs to the other one. The disappointment when that happens.

 

[Kimberina]

How do we feel about the law of attraction and manifesting things?

For the last few weeks I’ve been messaging a bloke who’s quite into it, he posts motivational and inspirational quotes on his instagram each day (he probably used to say YOLO too ) but he’s harmless enough so when he asked to go for a drink I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and said yes, he told me to leave it with him and he’d book a table for us somewhere, two days later, he says he hasn’t booked anywhere as he thought I’d changed my mind as he thinks he likes me more than I like him Told him instead of posting shite quotes all over social media he ought to see if he can manifest himself a pair of balls and a new woman to date!
Does anyone else dispair at the complete lack of normal men these days?

 

[LaurieLaurie]

Better than the lad that told me his trainers were knock off and took me into Jd Sports to show me the difference. My mates called him knock off Nige from then on.

 

[CherryAcid]

Urgh said guy from my post has just messaged me "evening Mrs ... what are doing friday night?!?!?!" Ive already told him that im not going out with new ppl while this is going on. I'm sticking with the same people ive been around since lockdown.

He just had to stress that it was "as friends" when i said no

EDIT: Ive told him as my mum is finally coming home from the hospital/respite(shes been in since march) im not spending anytime with new people because i dont want to put her at risk.......hes now asked if i fancy going to his for a chinese.....ffs what part is so difficult to understand?!?! Oh and I now have a pic of him in his boxers and socks because he has lost weight.........my vagina cant be anymore sealed.

 

[Glamourelle]

I had to explain to quite a dim guy I was talking to what “bane of my life” meant which is ironic because he turned out to be the fucking bane of mine

 

[Glamourelle]

Hahah no these were two different people I was seeing/had a thing with !!! I aren't sure which is worse?

Or when they have “only God can judge me” tattooed on them. Well, I am judging you. And your shit sex.

 

[Swipeupyouguys]

Bad dates, i ended up on a date without actually accepting it when a mate (or so I thought) insisted on me coming over to collect some lecture notes. Apparently a fuse had blown, no lights on but the whole room was covered in candles. (It was boiling, he suggested i take off my coat and jumper, but i had no intention of staying i was just swinging by to get notes) He then had misplaced the notes (obviously) and looked for the file on his laptop (battery ofc had been fullt charged in advance) Then after failing to find them for almost an hour (on purpose i now realise) he said we'd get pizza, while we worked on new notes and, went out to collect it. Locking me in the room... i turned on the lights (way hey - powers back!) Blew out the tiny fires and complained loudly when he came back that he locked the room - apparently is was for security so, i have no idea what the front door was for then. He wouldn't let me leave without eating the pizza and insisted on eating on the bed... i sat on the floor because i didn't want to be on a bed with him. Then having made zero progress on the notes and eating cold pizza i announced i was leaving, a nee road block, apparently it wasn't safe to just leave, and he in insisted on getting a car for me. At this point i wasn't feeling worried, perhaps naively but i just wanted to get away from this weird pseudo date.

The car mercifully came fairly quickly, but the ick isn't behind me yet. I got to the front door, he followed holding my coat and bag hostage and then insisted on putting my coat on me (from behind - ick) then wrapped his arms around me, from behind before he started swaying from side to side while nuzzling my neck whilst gazing at our reflection in the full lenght mirror, lamenting about time going so fast. (speak for yourself buddy) complained i was being stiff and unfriendly - by not leaning into the hug, refusing to sway along etc. I could feel his breath on me and, at this point i definitely had the full blown ick. Now to be clear i had told him i had a boyfriend who i was crazy over, so i didn't realise he was still holding out hope until i received an expensive necklace for Christmas from him a little later.

My mum told me I should choose him as he would protect me and never leave my side unlike my lazy boyfriend. Apparently my repulsion to him could be overcome with positive thinking and a bit of work on my part. Thanks Mum!

He hung around me for YEARS. I have more ICK encounters with him, but that was the first. I couldn't avoid him completely because of my course and ofc he told everyone we meant to be, so i was bamboozled with people insisting i "just give him a chance" as apparently my feelings were unimportant.

Put me right off dating anyone new after my boyfriend and i were over. These stories are weirdly cathartic.


Ahhh, memories.

 

[Crb250]

To make things even worse I'd text my best friend from the toilet while I was on the date to explain about him picking me up in the old banger of a Mini (she literally lived in the house opposite my Mum and Dad's) and when he dropped me back off at home I could see her face poking around her bedroom curtain to have a look, and the curtain was shaking because she was laughing so much I could have died.

 

[holliebollie]

I’m going to be single forever with my list of things that give me the ick. I have a pattern of liking someone, noticing weird traits, getting the ick about it, hating them... goodbye!

- not swinging their arms when they walk
- tiny penises that pop out when you have sex standing up from behind
- not flossing teeth or brushing their tongue
- being a nervous driver like an old person
- being all nervous and meek full stop like I have to be the more assertive one?! No.
- going bald on top but not mentioning it and you can see it when they go down on you
- wearing slippers... worse is when paired with a dressing gown
- voting Tory or not voting at all and having no interest in politics
- Vaping
- Playing games on the computer or the switch... PlayStation and co I don’t mind but there’s something very weird about a man in his thirties playing Tetris all night
- Shit tattoos that he THINKS are good. I don’t care if he also knows they’re honking but when he’s cooing over them, stop!
- Hasn’t read a book since school

 

[Lalla]

Another one of mine... a long time ago I was in a relationship of sorts (he still lived with someone but allegedly they were separated, he was also one of my training supervisors, and 20 years older than me, but anyway...) with the sort of person who went on ecological tours, which was literally the opposite of my kind of holiday.
He spent a lot of time in the Middle East and had this kind of shawl thing that he bought over there and used to like to wear. As much as I was in his thrall it made me cringe so hard seeing it.
He also used to give a running commentary during sex - not sexy talk but a factual step by step ie 'I'm going to stimulate you and then I'll be putting on a condom before I penetrate you' (I was v inexperienced when I met him, and thought this was something that sophisticated men of the world did ) Sex with him was pretty bloody awful, the commentary didn't help one bit.
When he inevitably dumped me for being 'too immature' it all did at least provide a lot of material for me and my friends to laugh over!

 

[PennyLane321]

It didn’t really bother me at the time - I was smitten with this particular ex and he was super handsome - but looking back it gives me the ick. Anyway, he would get into difficulties all the time and get really stressed about it. Like he would always drop things or once when washing the dishes, he broke a glass nearly taking his finger off and about an hour before that he burned the kitchen worktop by sitting a hot pan on it! Another time, he knocked an entire tin of paint off a ladder covering himself from head to toe. He was like Mr Bean, just going from one calamity to the next.

 

[ChloChlo]

I also have more!

My abusive ex husband on our first date was extremely rude to one of the waitresses at a really posh restaurant, he barked at her to "stop hovering around like a blue arsed fly around shit". So anything like this again just screams a red flag for me.

Not sure if I have said it but work selfies do not turn me on how some lads think they do. I find some to be extremely off putting. Especially corny ones.

My 1st ex husband used to write, produce and record rap songs he once recorded one dedicated to me after we were married. I was MORTIFIED. I wanted a divorce straight away.

My 2nd husband is very tall and lean and for some reason whenever he farted, which was very often, I would see him in my minds eye as some sort of long, stringed instrument and it would turn me off.

I cant believe I forgot this one! I remember seeing a lad in my late 20s who was the same age as me, we got stoned alot more than anything at first, he was living with his mum, but would stay at mine from time to time, I went with him to his for the first time and he was sharing a bedroom with who I assumed was his kid brother aged about 12 (big ick) who was sat playing on an x box, it was his mum who actually dropped in conversation it was actually my boyfriends son I was talking to her downstairs, he just forgot to mention in our short relationship his mum was basically bringing up his child for him as in his mums words, he was only teenager himself and his ex was an unfit party animal. To make matters worse his mum showed me photographs round the house of about and I shit you not I probably stopped counting at around 5-6 different kids and only two shared a mother, I started to feel a bit physically sick. His mum also boasted that her son had "super spunk" and he would probably get me pregnant contraception or not. Like he was some sort of stud dog on gumtree. I wasnt sure what was worse, the mum saying that or the fact he told me didn't have any kids! I wasnt sure wether the bigger ick was the amount of kids he had or the fact he lie either! I didnt even want explanations or to fall pregnant, I got the ick and got out. Also the fact he was quite happy to live like a big kid, smoking weed and playing his Xbox all day while mummy dearest bought up his son....

 

[ComeForTheX StayForTheY]

This thread is comedy gold!

Okay, my turn!

- wearing faux fur slipper boots (his mum had bought for him, no less)
- kissing me and staring deeply into my eyes and then saying "hi" (ugh excuse me while I vomit)
- getting his guitar out and playing along to a song while also attempting to stare into my eyes
- having to tip toe/ jump to close windows
- asking me if I wanted to stay a bit longer and "play board games" (after I stayed the night but we didn't have sex because he couldn't get it up)
- watching him use hair straighteners

Reader, I cringe

 

[ChloChlo]

Really long, narrow nostrils which you can only see from below. I was married to a man with these for years and looking up during a blowjob would give me an ick.

Fat hands that splay outward when holding a gear stick - I really hate that shit.

I like smokers but don't like men who have orange stains on their fingers or smell of stale rolling tobacco.

Gory details of past sexual encounters.

Denim or knitwear

 

[SqualorVictoria]

Years ago I was giving a blow job to a guy and he farted while I was down there. It was after a night out and he had consumed a lot of beer. I'm not sure who I felt more sorry for, me or him

 

[skvallertant]

This thread is making me despair! But the belly laughs are worth a life of celibacy!

I think the quickest I've ever got the ick was when we met up and he was wearing a white leather jacket.

 

[Gamu]

I once went on a first date and in the restaurant all was going well until our mains were served. He pointed at the side of onion loaf that came with my steak and said " that will make you...." and he blew a raspberry at me to indicate a fart. I was mortified. Mortified and repulsed. Ick at someone being so earthy when I barely knew him.