The Depression Thread

[TARDIS Blue]

I couldn't see an existing thread for this so I thought I'd set one up. I had one over on the Digital Spy forums which is still going but after the latest announcement I have closed my account there.

This is essentially a place for anyone who suffers from depression and other mental health issues, or is just going through a hard time right now, to be open and say what's on their mind. Other posters can be a listening ear and offer support in any way they can. Obviously this is not a substitute for professional advice or services but it can be nice to have somewhere anonynous to vent. Let's try to keep it a judgement free zone and be understanding of each other.

 

[caterday28]

This is a good idea, thank you!

I suffer quite badly with depression. I had therapy today and it's wiped me out. All I want to do is lie down to a point where being on Tattle is a productive alternative! That combined with the effort and energy it takes to get up and shower and I'm wondering how other people hold down full time jobs!

 

[TARDIS Blue]

This is a good idea, thank you!

I suffer quite badly with depression. I had therapy today and it's wiped me out. All I want to do is lie down to a point where being on Tattle is a productive alternative! That combined with the effort and energy it takes to get up and shower and I'm wondering how other people hold down full time jobs!

I'm sorry you are feeling that way. I hope you feel a bit better after taking some time to unwind.

 

[ChampagneBox]

This is a good idea, thank you!

I suffer quite badly with depression. I had therapy today and it's wiped me out. All I want to do is lie down to a point where being on Tattle is a productive alternative! That combined with the effort and energy it takes to get up and shower and I'm wondering how other people hold down full time jobs!

I know it doesn’t feel like it but the wiped out feeling after therapy can be a positive thing Means you’re releasing some of the built up emotions x

 

[LittleMy]

I have suffered with depression since I was a child. Wasn’t officially diagnosed until I was 21 after a massive emotional breakdown and being forced to see the GP by my mum. I’m 32 now and have taken antidepressants on and off for it since then (currently managing without) but never worked up the courage to do any talking therapies (I suffer from social anxiety). While I cope well most days, I still have bad days and I understand it’s something that I will have to live with for the rest of my life. It’s nice to see a thread here for it and to read others’ experiences.

 

[Cupcakeapple]

This is a good idea. Really sorry all of you have to deal with this horrible illness everyday. I have decided I’m finally going to ring the doctor about my mental health. But I’m so scared. Can anyone give me advice on what to say to the doctor? I’m afraid I’ll clam up and my mind will go blank

 

[TARDIS Blue]

This is a good idea. Really sorry all of you have to deal with this horrible illness everyday. I have decided I’m finally going to ring the doctor about my mental health. But I’m so scared. Can anyone give me advice on what to say to the doctor? I’m afraid I’ll clam up and my mind will go blank

Maybe write down your thoughts and show what you've written to your doctor? That's what I did. I express myself better in writing than in spoken word.

 

[Welshgal]

I’ve been wanting to talk to my GP or a therapist for a long time because I’m worried I might have a form of depression (or that something’s not right with my thyroid, as some symptoms are very similar).
However, at the moment people keep telling me it’s “normal” to feel bad because we’re in the middle of a pandemic. So, I’ve been putting it off, and only have a look at some therapists every now and then but whenever I see someone who I think looks “nice” (for lack of a better word) they usually don’t offer any appointments within the next 6 months

 

[salmaaax]

I’ve been wanting to talk to my GP or a therapist for a long time because I’m worried I might have a form of depression (or that something’s not right with my thyroid, as some symptoms are very similar).
However, at the moment people keep telling me it’s “normal” to feel bad because we’re in the middle of a pandemic. So, I’ve been putting it off, and only have a look at some therapists every now and then but whenever I see someone who I think looks “nice” (for lack of a better word) they usually don’t offer any appointments within the next 6 months

Not sure if it would be of any help but you can get free therapy on NHS through talking therapies I think it's called, they do a phone consultation and then determine what therapy is best (CBT/counselling) it runs for a 3 month period before ending, but after 3 months from it ending you can reregister. It might not be ideal for everyone but it helped me learn techniques to better deal with my mental health

Here's the link to self refer:

NHS talking therapies for anxiety and depression

How to access free psychological therapies (talking therapies) like cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), counselling and guided self-help on the NHS.

www.nhs.uk

 

[Welshgal]

Not sure if it would be of any help but you can get free therapy on NHS through talking therapies I think it's called, they do a phone consultation and then determine what therapy is best (CBT/counselling) it runs for a 3 month period before ending, but after 3 months from it ending you can reregister. It might not be ideal for everyone but it helped me learn techniques to better deal with my mental health

Here's the link to self refer:

NHS talking therapies for anxiety and depression

How to access free psychological therapies (talking therapies) like cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), counselling and guided self-help on the NHS.

www.nhs.uk

Thank you
! I should have mentioned that I live in Germany, so this sadly won’t help me but hopefully someone else reading here!

 

[under the ivy]

I've had diagnosed depression/anxiety since I was 13. I've had 2 mental breakdowns - one in my teenage years where I didn't leave the house for 6 months and one a few years ago due to a job. It's something I've learned to live with, after many many attempts of counselling, CBT (made me feel worse!) and medications. About 3 years ago, I was diagnosed with BPD as I felt my depression was something 'more' if that makes sense. I usually keep that to myself though because there is still stigma around personality disorders and mental health conditions, no matter what people or charities will portray.

The past year with Covid and other personal events happening to me, my MH has taken a beating. Thankfully I'm in a position that I have something to keep me busy each day (my work) but if I didn't have that, I don't know what I would do. I have good days and not so good days, I just try to take each day as it comes now.

 

[LittleMy]

I’ve been wanting to talk to my GP or a therapist for a long time because I’m worried I might have a form of depression (or that something’s not right with my thyroid, as some symptoms are very similar).
However, at the moment people keep telling me it’s “normal” to feel bad because we’re in the middle of a pandemic. So, I’ve been putting it off, and only have a look at some therapists every now and then but whenever I see someone who I think looks “nice” (for lack of a better word) they usually don’t offer any appointments within the next 6 months

It’s not normal to feel bad to the point that it’s affecting your daily life. Please don’t put it off, it’s always best to seek help if you feel you’re not coping.

 

[TARDIS Blue]

Thank you
! I should have mentioned that I live in Germany, so this sadly won’t help me but hopefully someone else reading here!

Are there any mental health charities in Germany who can help you?

Nice to meet a fellow Welshie by the way. I live in Swansea myself.

It's good to see you all being open and sharing your experiences.

 

[Welshgal]

Are there any mental health charities in Germany who can help you?

Nice to meet a fellow Welshie by the way. I live in Swansea myself.

It's good to see you all being open and sharing your experiences.

I’m not sure tbh. I know my university offers a session to help you find a therapist but even they are fully booked for the next couple months. Covid really hit us all hard.

I find it somewhat easy to talk about it on here but could never offline

and aw, prynhawn da! my family’s from the north near Wrecsam!

 

[TARDIS Blue]

I’m not sure tbh. I know my university offers a session to help you find a therapist but even they are fully booked for the next couple months. Covid really hit us all hard.

I find it somewhat easy to talk about it on here but could never offline

and aw, prynhawn da! my family’s from the north near Wrecsam!

I can understand that. I find it very hard to be open in "real life". It's just so much easier when you are talking on anonymous forum. I also find you can put more thought into what you are saying and articulate yourself better than you can face to face.

 

[MissSunshine]

I suffer with the classic depression/anxiety combo - I had councelling in the past and I absolutely loved it (is that weird?!) - I wish I could afford to have it weekly! It really helped. My daughter has lots of health problems and I really struggle with the fact that she will never lead a normal life - things have been bad since her diagnosis but I didn’t realise until the end of last year. I started on anti depressants and they really help

 

[Libbylulu]

Thank you for creating this thread. I’m sorry to read through everyone’s struggles and experiences, depression and anxiety really isn’t something that disappears I feel. It’s completely dominated my life for the last 10 years. I’ve missed out on so much, friendships, things with my children, life! As I’m sure you’ve experienced. I’ve had 2 full mental breakdowns and had 2 treatments of ECT. Some days I’m ok, other days I feel the weight of the world weighing so heavily on me. I don’t think my children remember the previous me, the fun me that had a life or knew joy. Currently I’m very low, feeling incredibly lonely. I’m trying to hold it together. I no longer reach out to friends as I don’t think they understand and I don’t want to be a burden or nuisance. I have recognized this past few weeks that I need counseling (something I’ve done numerous times before but felt non the wiser previously). I’m seeing someone tomorrow for EMD therapy. Otherwise I was desperately looking to try hypnosis. I spend a lot of time on Tattle. It helps pass the time and there’s some great threads here. The very best to all of you who are finding things difficult

 

[jarv]

Just jumping in! I've talked about my current MH situation on other threads. I'm off work atm as my work situation triggered a breakdown which began as more anxiety but now I think I am just depressed which is a very different feeling to what I'm used to. I've struggled informally with anxiety for years, was briefly medicated in uni and then I've just dealt with it since then. I came off the mini pill in September and my general day to day anxiety really improved, I was so pleased about it. And then this work situation happened and it really knocked me for six.

Next bit spoilered as it relates to self harm etc

one of the things I find very jarring about depression is how often I think about ending my life. I'm quite confident I don't want to hurt myself but I am nearly constantly imagining ending things on some days. We went on a long walk the other day and I kept wanting to just fling myself off the high bits even though I knew I wouldn't because it would be painful? It was a bit scary and confusing. I keep thinking life is pointless now as I'll never achieve anything and who would want to spend their life with someone like me? It's a very isolating experience. I'm off work for another week now but I think I need medication at this point because it's been three weeks of this type of thinking now and it's not going away.

 

[Libbylulu]

My post is in a spoiler as I’m sharing my experience of suicidal behavior

For a very long time I had planned my suicide. It was after my daughter finished school and everything in my life centered around this in my head. ‘Beyond this time i showed no interest as i knew i wouldn’t be here so it didn’t concern me’. In a bizarre sense it gave me goal. When I tried tried to take my life, my husband found me in time. I was furious with him. in the hospital I was screaming and shouting at everyone who saved me and had very little regards for anyone’s feelings. After a few weeks of medication, counseling and time I started to see the hurt I had caused and vowed to work realyhard at everything to shake off the depression. But it’s easier said than done. As you know depression sits like a heavy black blanket and sucks the joy out of everything . Ive been reading a few comments on the celebrity gossip thread over the past few days where a few posters who have lost parents or siblings to suicide and it’s totally broken me, reading their words, trying to imagine their heartbreak, confusion, grief and whilst trying to process their sorrow understand what I very closely almost did to my own family. Whilst I still feel heavy with depression I now realize that I can’t pass that heartbreak to others.

I am so sorry for this very long post, I’ve not opened up about it properly since that day and not told friends or anyone other than those affected at the time. I am hoping by voicing my experience it will help someone. Big love to you

 

[isabellalovescats]

@Libbylulu Thank you so much for sharing. It makes me feel less alone and I’m very grateful you’re voicing your experiences. Please don’t say sorry for your post. I’m sure it will be so helpful to a lot.

@jarv I know it’s not easy. Sending you all my hugs and I hope you find the meds that work for you! Keep us updated if you’d like and I’m here if you want to talk. We will get through hard times (virtually) together.

Marking as a spoiler as well. Similar to @Libbylulu, my then partner found me during my attempt in 2015 Dec. He saved my life and we held each other and cried all day. I no longer talk to that saint of a person but I’m glad he saved me because 2016 ended up one of the best years of my life. Had my second attempt in late 2018 after my adopted father/uncle passed away unexpectedly from a very late diagnosis of cancer. Was hospitalized and ultimately the doctors saved my life but I’ve been struggling since then. Depression is very heavy and it’s particularly heavy at the moment. I’ve been ideating for a month now but I’m trying my best to not let my passive suicidal thoughts turn active. It’s a little easier when you have other people who understand in your corner. I’m glad this thread exists.