The Depression Thread

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

How do you guys get yourself out of a slump? I just haven’t been able to find any motivation the last few days. I’ve been managing to cook dinner, that’s about it.

I’ve found out I have to either force myself or just wait until it comes naturally. But maybe you could go gradually, like today you cook dinner, tomorrow you cook dinner and go for a short walk, next day cook dinner, walk and do something else..? Doesn’t have to be day by day, just go at your own pace so you feel comfortable.



I have no real complaints about yesterday, I dragged myself out and went to meet some friends of a friend. It went fine even though I did get sad out of sudden on my way home. However, I met this guy, we talked and…it was a bit of a mindf*ck really. He acted all interested, I wasn’t sure but wasn’t opposed either, and then he just said he changed his mind?! It’s like ghosting except for the fact we hardly know each other and he was the one to approach me. I’m so confused, definitely not ready for dating/flings and all the mind games as for now

 

[or JusRollWithIt]

It’s hard to know what to say. I’ve made mistakes in the past trying to comfort but realizing it probably was not at all helpful. I find I use phrases like “I hear you” “I’m here for you” “I’m glad you shared with me” “I’m sorry things are hard right now” “would it help if I did xyz (chores, errands, help them make a hard phone call…)” “I’m always here if you need to chat.” Etc.

 

[Tanne1999]

5.44am and I haven’t slept a wink. Riddled with anxiety and stress. Don’t know how I’m going to make it through the day fed up with not sleeping.

 

[Chrisxo]

I’m in no position to tell you what to do, but I think you need some time to be able to get over it and think clearly. I don’t know you or him IRL, I don’t know your story, but I never justify abuse in any form, physical, emotional, etc. I know it’s very difficult right now, but life is not over, it can get better and it will get better! Do you have any understanding friends or relatives you could talk to?

I do, but I feel like they’re sick of hearing about it

 

[lemonl189]

Thank you so much, this was honestly really assuring and validating. I think Instagram is part of the problem so I've deactivated it for a bit. I think this is my favourite thread here- I love how everyone gives so much good advice despite struggling.

Me too social media is a big problem comparing to others life’s but we just have to remember that people only post what they want us to see. Instead maybe deactivate it and what time you would spend on Instagram maybe do something productive like read a book or workout this will also help mentally. Yes this thread is amazing I’ve felt so much better speaking out it’s reassuring to know your not the only one going through things, together we can help overcome some of our hardest days.

Slept for 15 hours today but I had a nightmare so the long sleep was far from restful. I wasn’t productive at all this weekend. Woke up at 6 pm very sad and restless so I ordered takeout. I hate myself a little today.

Don’t beat yourself up for not being productive sometimes we don’t have no energy because we are so drained maybe you could take a shower to wake up abit and feel better.

 

[Mysteryy]

Sorry for just jumping in, but definitely in need of a bit of support. I'm getting up the courage to speak to my doctor about how I've been feeling. I've been in a slump for so long that I just can't shake off. I'm now having panic attacks and can barely get through the day. I have been having fleeting thoughts of suicide but I think it's more that I just want to run away from everyone and everything. I'm so scared about the thought of medication.

Did anyone else feel scared of medication, side effects, etc and find that it helped take the edge off of this? So sorry for being so vague I'm struggling to even articulate myself.

 

[Whatevesmate]

I’ve been reading this thread for a while, and can say that every single post and person here has resonated with me.

I posted a thread myself a while back, and was overwhelmed by the support and understanding I received (I fully expected to be to told to give my head a good shake!) At the time, I was struggling a lot with guilt and embarrassment at my behaviour, with regards to when I was really poorly last year.

Since then I’ve had an ‘introductory’ course of CBT, but now am waiting for the real McCoy, but that could take months.
I’ve been feeling very ‘flat’ recently, so decided this week to go back on Fluoxetine. I took myself off it back in February, after a year long course (the longest I’ve ever gone taking antidepressants).

I’m not sure what I’m trying to get from this post, just musing I guess. I seriously wonder though if I will ever know, what it’s like to fully feel happiness again. I’m the definition of ‘going through the motions’.

Can I ask; what do others do or have found useful in their pursuit to ‘appease’ your Depression?

One of the things that I have found most useful of late is self compassion. If its not something that you have come across and you are interested in finding out more this is a good place to start:

Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff

Discover the power of self-compassion with Kristin Neff. Join our community and explore the benefits of practicing self-compassion together.

self-compassion.org

 

[violapratia]

Hi, I am feeling really low at the moment. I'm 28 and only have one friend (who lives 2 hours away) so I am really lonely. I am desperate to make friends but I find it really hard to get on with people at work, I'm not good at small talk so don't really speak to anyone at all, so feel totally invisible when I'm there. Other people have joined since I started and they have integrated straight away. I know it is primarily down to me to talk to people but nobody starts conversations with me either, so I think I have made myself unapproachable. This has happened with every job I've had and I feel disappointed with myself for making the same mistake each time.

My job is also not fulfilling but there aren't many opportunities where i live. I've started studying in the evenings in the hope I can move onto something better. I am thinking I should move away to a bigger city for work and to have more social opportunities but this seems really scary as I've never rented privately so wouldn't know where to begin. I'm also worried about moving away from family because even though they are controlling and their opinions hold me back, I'm worried I will have nothing if I move away. Has anyone else done this?

I'm trying to think of how to distract myself in the short term while working on my long term goals and hoping that things will eventually get better. I'm thinking of starting exercise classes so I can be around other people, has anyone else had any success with this?

 

[Libbylulu]

It's cortisol. It's highest in the morning and hits you like kick in the guts when it's too high, which happens when you are under extreme stress. This is how I feel when I wake up too.

Thank you that’s very helpful

 

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

Don’t be worried about being manic and it going downhill because we all have bad days without bad days we wouldn’t be able to appreciate the good ones. I’m glad to here your happy and I hope you will continue to do so you have probably been through a hard time so you deserve happiness but remember sometimes you can’t control feelings and being down is ok too but things will get better please don’t feel like you have to pay for your feelings life is hard sometimes but no matter what we all deserve happiness!

Thank you so much, that’s exactly what I wanted to hear You are right, and I hope you are doing fine today, too!

I love this thread so much, you are all amazing

 

[whatktdid]

It sounds like you’re going through a lot now and it’s really hard to admit when you’re not actually okay especially when you’re someone who puts on a brave face. The fact that you’re going to CBT is a huge step and you should be proud of yourself. Having these feelings doesn’t make you weak and it’s not something to be ashamed of I can totally relate to everything you’ve said, you will have a breakthrough when you’re ready don’t give up.

Thank you, that really helps to hear

 

[Maid22]

@Sideboard Bob that's so lovely of you for remembering, I hope you're ok x

Really don't want to take this thread off topic, but I'm sure most of us can reasonate sometimes our blackest days with music?
I'm absolutely gutted about the death of a drummer from one of my fave bands, I've been listening to their music all day, has brought back alot of memories, some good, but some when I was in one of the worst times of my life, but I've managed to get over that, and sometimes I still drift back there, I still struggle most days, but try my hardest not to go down that dark path again.

 

[Itsmerahrah]

Hi,
Sorry to gatecrash. I was hoping to be able to write a thread but for some reason I can’t anymore.
I’m just wanting somewhere to spill my thoughts..

I struggle with anxiety/over thinking & 3 weeks into raiki healing, after a few rounds of CBT & not ever really getting anywhere ! So my raiki I have touched on a few things but not quite deep yet …

my issue at the moment Is I just want to shut off/close down from the world. I would pick up my house/family & moves miles away if I could
I hate the thought that people know me & have opinions of me.
I hate the fact that people don’t like me for various reasons (falling out over the years, I’m 38)
We went to a wedding yesterday & I hardly drank as I wanted to be in control, I came away devastated that the people we where with all still see each other & we haven’t seen any of them in 18m+ ( hubby blames Covid but we could have called/text)
I’ve distanced myself from his family group chat as I can’t stand them knowing things about us.
I’ve stopped posting on social media in case I cause someone to hate me more- but then I have a 2nd wine & post something ie embrace womanly bodies/mental health & I always get a lot of recognition.

I don’t mind new people, I have made new friends recently but I don’t want them to get to know the real me as when they do that may be another falling out.

 

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

How are you feeling today?

I’m okay today, thank you! Kinda weak but in a much better place all in all. How are you?

I haven't read any of this thread. But I pass a lot of my time reading the Katie Price threads lol.
I am 47, my life seems very pointless. There's not one day when I don't have feelings of wishing I wasn't here.
I've felt like this for at least the last 30 years. My family is not close, I see my parents once a year, not from choice, just because that's what is right apparently. Spend Xmas day with them. I dread it!
I just hate existing. Seriously wish I'd never been born.
Sorry for sharing, but that's how I feel.

I’m so sorry you are feeling this way. Have you ever talked to a specialist about it?

 

[Penguin86]

Oh I’m sorry! Is your nose okay now? Do you think you will be able to nap during the day?

Yeah all ok now. I'm so behind on projects it's annoying but I'm too tired to function today. Tbh my appetite has been low past few days but I have to make myself eat something small so I can take some of my meds

 

[or JusRollWithIt]

I wish I could drop something off but I live too far away sadly and have no car. so I can’t just pop round. I hope that by sending a letter then at least I know she has it and there’s no obligation to reply to me. Just wanted her to know that I’m there when she’s ready. She does have support at home, otherwise I’d be there like a shot. But I did think the phone etc might be triggering and that’s why I’m blocked x

You’re a good friend and have done the right things.

 

[Fairypop]

You can always also ask to see another doctor. Lots of people can be on low doses of medication.

I did wonder about asking to see/talk to the advanced nurse practitioner at our surgery. I don’t want to take medication if it really isn’t necessary but I’ve just been trying to cope for so long with other techniques and nothing is really working thank you x

 

[Libbylulu]

Has the booster shot made anyone else feel very low? I ask as although I’m always lonely and never completely happy, this week I’m crying and feeling hopeless.

 

[Maid22]

@Raymond Luxury-Yacht so sorry for your loss, take care

 

[Professor Farnsworth]

There's also a BPD thread here too I've posted more there too but you can in my opinion also have the condition without self harming. It's also common in those who have trauma histories.

Hope you can rest a bit today.



The things you have already described would be depression in my book. A lot of people in my friend circle have actually already gone to therapy. One actually had the nickname smiley. It's hard managing that mask when you're struggling.

Hope you also got the chance to rest.

Do you have any family nearby? There's also charities you can email or phone if you need extra help too.

Thank you @rainbowlemon - do you know where the BPD thread is? I can’t seem to find it.