The Depression Thread #2

[Spidey2020]

Im on a bit of dip at the moment. I share custody of my children with their dad and I’ve just had 4 school free days with them. I was really looking forward to it but haven’t done half of the things. I’m really irritable and feel like everything is pushing my buttons. They are being quite hard work (constant bickering, not listening to me etc) but I feel like I’m wasting our time together and especially my eldest’s ‘childhood’ is slipping away from me and I can’t snap out of it and just enjoy the moment. I feel like I just retreat to staring at my phone.
I’ve tried a few meds but not really got on I need to contact my GP to try again but it feels like a huge effort to do that at the moment.

 

[Agent Cooper]

So I don’t go for walks to deal with my emotions but I happen to notice when I go out that I feel better. Semi-populated areas, lots of greenery — something about signs of life and seeing the world keeps turning in spite of the chaos I’m feeling feels good. It’s like throwing water over a fire.

That’s a good way of thinking about it, I do agree What about times when you can’t go out, e.g. it’s too late at night or you are working? I really wish something like breathing exercises worked for me.

 

[newaccount2022]

Kind of, my GP knows about it. Was supposed to be having a call with the GP care Co ordinator this morning to see what sort of support is best for me but she hasn't called yet.... I have a call every 2 weeks with a psychologist from my hospital whilst I'm waiting for her to have free spaces. Then I've been put on the wait list for counselling with the fertility team near me too. So I have support in place but not beginning until August due to wait times, just in that awkward wait phase at the moment.

A lot of us know that awkward waiting phase all too well. You made a huge step checking in with doc and co-ordinating all those appointments, so well done! Don’t be hard on yourself, use this in between time to get plenty of rest. Don’t be as strict on yourself with house work and fake tan etc… if you had an illness bug you wouldn’t be forcing yourself to do it. Mental health problems are an illness so loads of rest is required. 🤍

RE. motivation to get the hair washed/showered etc. i have been in slumps like this before and sometimes it helped to tell myself I just had to turn on the water in the shower, I didn’t have to get in. Usually by the time I was stood there looking at the running water I would choose to get in.

I would also try and seize a moment of motivation in the moment if I had time. i.e if you wake up on a Saturday morning and think ‘yes I’ll do the laundry this afternoon’ I try tell myself I’ll just do it now while I have this burst of motivation and it’ll be even easier!

 

[boomska]

We had a Budgie called Max but his full name was Maximus Decimus Meridius after Russell Crowe's character in Gladiator


Wrong thread can someone report it haha

i know it’s the wrong thread but it did distract me from my depression anxiety episode I’m in.

I’m currently in a depressive episode that is intensified by anxiety. I felt like this 2 years ago before I got signed off for two weeks

i feel like I’ve got a heavy weight on my chest and everything is hard. And life is stressing me out- 31, single, hardly any friends. It’s not good for me.

 

[Maid22]

Lack of sleeps really doesn't help either.

 

[barmcake]

I love this account. She always gets it so right.

Just brilliant - exactly how it feels.

 

[bitterntwisted]

Thank you for asking, that's really kind! Thankfully the doctor was lovely which was something I was really worried about. I've got some medication and I have to go back in 3 weeks

Oh that's good news! It helps when your physician is half decent. I hope the meds help you and you can always come here for some words of support.

 

[Pollyanna263]

Finally managed to take my first sertraline tablet this morning after putting it off for 2 weeks. I’m feeling so anxious about it and scared about what’s going to happen and whether I’ve made the right decision. Only took A half dose to ease my way in.

That’s brilliant. The first one is always the hardest. It just gets easier now xxx

 

[Fanny Muchmore]

None yet, but hopefully soon. Thanks.

Still waiting to hear back about counselling. I just hate this lack of motivation to do anything.

 

[Pollyanna263]

For me personally, the worst feeling is when I am feeling numb. My body and mind knows that I am sad however isn’t allowing me to act on it by crying. It creates such a nasty suffocating feeling inside followed by intense nightmares!

I hate this too x

 

[Agent Cooper]

Hi all I haven’t posted for a while, hope everyone is okay!

Does anyone else have issues with sleeping too much? I literally can’t stop sleeping, I start my day late and go to bed late, I can sleep for 10-12 hours unless someone wakes me up. Sometimes I wake up at 1am and still have to drag myself out of bed. I’m off medication now but it used to make me agitated and I’d sleep very little. Any words of advice for me?

 

[Good Egg]

@Good Egg you can break the cycle. You’ve taken the first step by sharing how you feel here.

Good luck with appointment booking.
It making the phone call is hard, you might be able to do it online as an econsult and then they will arrange an appointment for a GP to call you xx


Edit to add -

Just saw this elsewhere and thought it was appropriate

View attachment 1229770

Thank you so much x

 

[Pollyanna263]

Thankyou beautiful I hope your doing okay didn't want my reply to you come across as I was thinking of just myself xxx

It didn’t come across like that at all!

 

[boomska]

Im just having one of those days
I'm mid 30s, single and have barely any friends. I've become content with that though

How did you come content with it? X

 

[Agent Cooper]

Do you not have work or anything to get up for?

As I’ve said, I don’t have to go anywhere until after lunch as I work and study in the evening.

 

[JellyWobbles]

Kind of a mini update and vent from me.

so they took me off aripiprazole and agreed to put me on quetiapine, 25mg in morning, 50mg at night with all my other meds as usual.
It’s been about three weeks on them and I feel absolutely shit. At first I didn’t notice any difference at all, apart from a deeper sleep.. now i feel like im nosediving very fast, what doesn’t help is my youngest doesn’t sleep very well and during the times she sleeps so little it triggers my mood to worsen, so that doesn’t help.

I really don’t want to call the secretary again, I just can’t face it. I actually feel like stopping taking everything, I won’t, but I feel like it because everything im trying just isn’t working and im treading water to seem okay on the surface so much,but struggling like crazy underneath.

I don’t know what more I can say really. I just want to be better and I feel like it’s getting further and further out of reach. My next outpatient check in is in October

 

[Pollyanna263]

Hi all, hope this is okay to post. I was wondering if anyone if anyone was willing to share their experience with antidepressants, specifically ssris. I have spoken to my GP about starting medication for GAD and depressive episodes and am due back next week to discuss my options. I’m kind of overwhelmed from researching. There’s so many different types, side effects etc, I don’t know what to make of it all. My main q’s are 1.which ssri is generally offered first, 2. What side effects have people dealt with and how bad, 3. Is it worth it? Im so sick of living with mental illness and medication seems like the next step in managing it, but I don’t have anyone in person I feel I can talk to about all this. It’s all very overwhelming and scary. TIA xx

It’s absolutely okay to post
I think most people here have tried at least one antidepressant.

The first is usually sertraline - because it’s well-tolerated, well-known, and cheap.

Side effects take a few weeks sometimes to settle. They really vary by person, in terms of what (if any) you get and how bad they are.
For some, the side effects are tolerable and easier to cope with than the effects of the illness itself.
For others, the side effects are too much.

Don’t let that frighten you, because what you get with one you might not get with another.

It sounds like your GP is lovely and supportive. The fact you’ve spoken about it and are going back to discuss options is great.

I would ask what the plan would be if, for example, the first one you try doesn’t agree with you (side effects aren’t tolerable, or symptoms aren’t relieved) - how long do you need to wait; can you book follow up appointments now so you know you have them (see what GP says but maybe 1 week, then another 2 weeks, then 4 weeks?)

Is it worth it? For me - yes. Absolutely. It’s allowed me to live, rather than be consumed by depression and trauma.
It has ti be worth a try, right?

Good luck. We are here

 

[Jwren]

Hi lovelies, hope everyone is managing somehow to keep going despite the shit days.

I haven’t posted much on here under this name but did under @Pollyanna263
Long story but had to start a new account, and was avoiding posting on here for various reasons. Have given myself a talking to and am trying to engage here a bit more as the lovely people here definitely helped me feel less alone

I’ve finally after much longer than anticipated swapped from Venlafaxine to Amitriptyline and am on day 5 of no ven plus 100mg amitrip. Bloody hell it’s a shit mix of withdrawal and new side effects

Has anyone here taken Amitriptyline? I’m struggling from early afternoon and I’m trying to work out if it’s the Amitrip wearing off, as I’m taking it at night - so logically I’m thinking by this time of day when I’m feeling spaced out / headache / blurred vision / increased heart rate it might be that wearing off?

Just hoping to sense check with anyone else that might have experienced the same - or with a different tricyclic antid.

Sorry for the long post

Hello lovely just saw your post on here. I’ve suffered depression on and off from childhood after my brother died and have felt suicidal in the past. I was originally put on Dosulepin which worked for me but was pulled from shelves because of heart concerns, although many argued it worked for them and they’d been fine on it for many years without any problems. I was then put on various anti depressants, including Amitriptyline and they all made me feel so much worse, like a headless chicken and I said never again would I try another one. Then a new GP suggested I try one more anti depressant Mirtazapine 15mg, but break the tablet in half and just have 7.5mg, or even a quarter until my body got used to it. I was reluctant at first but wish I‘d tried that one before as I didn’t have any headless chicken feelings, just tiredness. It’s also used for anxiety so helps calm you. I’m not on anything now but I wouldn’t hesitate to go on that again as it worked wonders for me but I appreciate it’s not for everyone but thought it worth sharing. I hope you find something that works for you ASAP

Also important to note to MH sufferers, many medications (as well as stress) including contraceptive pill/HRT, anti depressants etc can deplete vital nutrients/vitamins/minerals making you even more susceptible to depression and anxiety. So making sure you get enough of the nutrients depleted can also make a big difference, I’ve found that from firsthand experience and a lot of research over the years.

 

[MillionDollarBaby]

That must have been terrifying. Despite the fact she’s fine now, you can’t just forget how frightened you were for her.

Have you been able to access therapy? EMDR might help, but maybe with talking therapy to begin with?

Spoiler: Birth Trauma / Therapy

I’ve struggled with EMDR because I’ve never been able to actually say out loud what happened during my birth. It was a very rare complication, likely caused by human error (or by a serious mistake…) and I was very nearly not okay (can’t even say that bit properly).

That’s caused me a massive block on trying to process it - because I don’t think I’ve ever accepted for myself what happened. Or what almost happened.

Who knew that the best day of your life could also be your worst

I had rewind therapy at the start of 2020 and then covid hit and it all stopped. They didn’t even check in with me or contact me to start again once it was able to. Which didn’t make me feel better.
Does your hospital offer an afterthoughts service? Or could you perhaps request your notes under the freedom of information act?
You’re not alone and I know how shitty it is. Sending you a big hug x

 

[nimblefimble]

Hi all, hope this is okay to post. I was wondering if anyone if anyone was willing to share their experience with antidepressants, specifically ssris. I have spoken to my GP about starting medication for GAD and depressive episodes and am due back next week to discuss my options. I’m kind of overwhelmed from researching. There’s so many different types, side effects etc, I don’t know what to make of it all. My main q’s are 1.which ssri is generally offered first, 2. What side effects have people dealt with and how bad, 3. Is it worth it? Im so sick of living with mental illness and medication seems like the next step in managing it, but I don’t have anyone in person I feel I can talk to about all this. It’s all very overwhelming and scary. TIA xx