The Depression Thread #2

[rainbowlemon]

I don’t know how to write this the only way I can do it is going to sound I’m just wanting attention honestly I’m not this is why I decided to post on a place no one will know me. I am at the end of my tether with life my wonderful husband died 18 mths ago I still cry when I’m alone because I miss him more than I can explai, I keep myself upbeat when I’m with my oBly child ( 27) because I don’t want to upset him, I don’t show my elderly parent I’m aching for my husband due to him being elderly and I don’t want to worry him I have a very good friend who I have fell apart once in front of her but she changed the subject to how her job was making her unhappy and she knew how I was feeling because she felt the same. Every friend I’ve got I am the go to friend to off load their worry’s and honestly I don’t mind..but sometimes I feel I’d love to have a good cry with them but I can’t and now I’m going to sound dramatic but I am now lying in bed worried about the Ukraine / Russia conflict and if a nuclear bomb is going to destroy us all. I know I’m rambling and I’m sorry but yesterday I had a row with my kid and he was nasty with the things he said over something so stupid but I honestly feel is this my life now ? No husband, no one I can off load too, my wonderful elderly dad who relies heavily on me, I have a sister who does nothing for him, and I don’t mind at all helping him but I just feel I’m literally on this earth to help, listen and take on everyone’s problems and no one ever ask how I am. I know it’s my own fault because I have always been an upbeat person but sadly that died when my love died. I just needed to write this down and honestly I am sorry I have but I just needed to because to me it looks like I’m off loading even though we don’t know each other for once hopefully some one might know how I feel and have some advice for what to do x

You don’t have to apologize for posting and it’s okay to want and need some attention when we’re hurting. You’re not being dramatic either! I’m sorry none of your friends can support you right now . Off the top of my head I would suggest a grief group or individual therapy.

A lot of therapists also offer sliding scales. My sister receives a £10 off every session compared to the full price. If you also search “low cost psychotherapy + your area ” you will get a list too.

https://www.thegoodgrieftrust.org/

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Sorry for just jumping in out of nowhere. I usually like to offer some support or empathy for others, or even a

I really hope everyone is doing as ok as can be.

@Maid22 has reminded me how helpful this thread can be.

Earlier this year I was really struggling, and was told I’d have to wait months for an appointment. I finally got my appointment recently, and have started a new antidepressant. I don’t want to get my hopes up, but it’s worth a try.

 

[nimblefimble]

Hi everyone.
live almost been taking my Sentra line for a week and want to know if this is normal. I’ve had some crazy side effects. I haven’t slept at all in 4 days, I can’t keep food down, I feel insane Like I have so much energy buzzing around me. My jaw is shaking all the time and I can’t stop it. I can’t sit still but I feel so odd. I know pushing through side effects should wear off but just wondered if anyone else had experienced this?

 

[candyland_]

I finally feel like the clouds have lifted for me. I didn’t realise how I had stopped doing everything I enjoyed until I came out of the other side.

 

[Slaybutter]

Hi everyone.
live almost been taking my Sentra line for a week and want to know if this is normal. I’ve had some crazy side effects. I haven’t slept at all in 4 days, I can’t keep food down, I feel insane Like I have so much energy buzzing around me. My jaw is shaking all the time and I can’t stop it. I can’t sit still but I feel so odd. I know pushing through side effects should wear off but just wondered if anyone else had experienced this?

I never tried this medication. If you haven’t already you should reach out to the doctor who prescribed it. I would cut the pills in half until they e-mail or call back.

 

[Dianne]

Hi everyone.
live almost been taking my Sentra line for a week and want to know if this is normal. I’ve had some crazy side effects. I haven’t slept at all in 4 days, I can’t keep food down, I feel insane Like I have so much energy buzzing around me. My jaw is shaking all the time and I can’t stop it. I can’t sit still but I feel so odd. I know pushing through side effects should wear off but just wondered if anyone else had experienced this?

Yes. I remember insomnia and feelings of euphoria and sudden bursts of energy. For me, my dr lowered my dose and it calmed down

 

[elliebee27]

I’ve been having a hard time lately, with depression, without reason. I haven’t felt like that in years. Then my mom passed away suddenly yesterday... I am a total mess. I feel numb and anything is setting me off. It's so hard. I didn't know it would be this hard. Especially when it shouldn't have happened.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

I’ve been having a hard time lately, with depression, without reason. I haven’t felt like that in years. Then my mom passed away suddenly yesterday... I am a total mess. I feel numb and anything is setting me off. It's so hard. I didn't know it would be this hard. Especially when it shouldn't have happened.

I’m so sorry for you loss

 

[nimblefimble]

Managed to get an emergency gp appointment today and been told to stop taking the Sertraline immediately as it seems I’ve had a bit of an adverse reaction to itgot another appointment next week to discuss other treatment options. Not ideal but what can you do

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Does anyone just get so easily overwhelmed by life? There are so many things I‘ve messed and screwed over for myself, and it may be partly because of being depressed, but I know really it’s my own fault.

 

[Hdt1]

Does anyone just get so easily overwhelmed by life? There are so many things I‘ve messed and screwed over for myself, and it may be partly because of being depressed, but I know really it’s my own fault.

Yup! I’m on holiday with my lovely hubby and kids, and I’m bleeping miserable. Work and preparing to come on holiday had overwhelmed me so much, combined with stopping my sertraline (150mg down to 25 in a year, finally
Stopped but feel crappy) has ruined it for me.

Depression has screwed tit up for you, it’s not your fault x

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Yup! I’m on holiday with my lovely hubby and kids, and I’m bleeping miserable. Work and preparing to come on holiday had overwhelmed me so much, combined with stopping my sertraline (150mg down to 25 in a year, finally
Stopped but feel crappy) has ruined it for me.

Depression has screwed tit up for you, it’s not your fault x

I‘m so sorry you understand what it’s like. No wonder you feel crap, its a huge adjustment coming off medication x

 

[Hdt1]

I‘m so sorry you understand what it’s like. No wonder you feel crap, its a huge adjustment coming off medication x

Apart from typical withdrawal symptoms, it’s really not been that bad, but getting rid of that last 25mg has been so weird. Like massive Personality changes, struggling to control myself ie keeping it professional at work, can’t stop talking like chewing peoples ears off, not being able to remember the conversations, snarling and snapping at the kids…. I’ve taken a real dislike to my eldest child and feel absolutely terrible about it, I love them so much but she’s diving me bonkers! Wondering if life for me is actually living on 25mg sertraline! Can’t even remember why I wanted to come off it so bad now I’ve actually done it! X

 

[pusheencat00]

Really struggling today. Without going into too much detail (I don’t want to post anything identifying on here), since the summer, I’ve just had bad things after bad things. Financial issues, car being unrepairable, being a victim of crime (I’m ‘ok’), among other things.

it all came to a head today and I phoned NHS 24 (unheard of for me, I don’t ask for help ).They were actually quite helpful and have referred me to what’s kind of sounds similar to a crisis team who can support me for 2 weeks. I’m v grateful.

it’s just been one thing after another and I am burned out, exhausted and feeling so hopeless.

sending hugs to anyone who needs one today, god knows I do.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

I don’t know how to write this the only way I can do it is going to sound I’m just wanting attention honestly I’m not this is why I decided to post on a place no one will know me. I am at the end of my tether with life my wonderful husband died 18 mths ago I still cry when I’m alone because I miss him more than I can explai, I keep myself upbeat when I’m with my oBly child ( 27) because I don’t want to upset him, I don’t show my elderly parent I’m aching for my husband due to him being elderly and I don’t want to worry him I have a very good friend who I have fell apart once in front of her but she changed the subject to how her job was making her unhappy and she knew how I was feeling because she felt the same. Every friend I’ve got I am the go to friend to off load their worry’s and honestly I don’t mind..but sometimes I feel I’d love to have a good cry with them but I can’t and now I’m going to sound dramatic but I am now lying in bed worried about the Ukraine / Russia conflict and if a nuclear bomb is going to destroy us all. I know I’m rambling and I’m sorry but yesterday I had a row with my kid and he was nasty with the things he said over something so stupid but I honestly feel is this my life now ? No husband, no one I can off load too, my wonderful elderly dad who relies heavily on me, I have a sister who does nothing for him, and I don’t mind at all helping him but I just feel I’m literally on this earth to help, listen and take on everyone’s problems and no one ever ask how I am. I know it’s my own fault because I have always been an upbeat person but sadly that died when my love died. I just needed to write this down and honestly I am sorry I have but I just needed to because to me it looks like I’m off loading even though we don’t know each other for once hopefully some one might know how I feel and have some advice for what to do x

I’m so sorry for your loss. I think it’s a common thing that those who open their door to others often find that when they need help, it’s not forthcoming.

I’m so glad you’ve posted here, and I hope you post again every time you need or want to.

Maybe people don’t know what to say. Do you have anyone who could share memories of your husband with you? I think sometimes people think ‘I should avoid talking about him altogether, in case I upset her’ when maybe what would help you is someone saying “remember the time he did this?” You could talk about him here, if that would help?

I came straight to the end of the thread so yours was the first post I saw - and boy did I need to see it! I have had a dip in my mood which I’m not dismissing but I’ve lost perspective so a genuine thank you because I was in danger of getting lost up my own arse. I have had a consistent spell of a level mood but something changes and in a heartbeat I panic, I see things completely differently and I feel a bit lost.

Sending you lots of love @Kelmum

 

[altgirl]

Does anyone think depression has just ruined their lives? It’s always there in the background and one little slip and it all comes tumbling back down and I’m reminded that I’ll never be rid of it so what’s the point in trying to be happy?

 

[LennyBriscoe]

Does anyone just get so easily overwhelmed by life? There are so many things I‘ve messed and screwed over for myself, and it may be partly because of being depressed, but I know really it’s my own fault.

I miss you Bob! The JM thread isn’t for me just now but I miss you guys.

I 100% get overwhelmed with life too. And once I’m there, I really struggle to get back. But because I’m fantastic at giving people advice I don’t take myself, as a complete stranger from the internet, I can say in all honesty that you deserve to come to peace with stuff from your past. There’s nothing we can do to change the past but we can change the future but we can’t do that if we take everything with us.

Things get tangled up in a big ball and the ball gets bigger and bigger. And then anxiety gets thrown in when we start to think we’ll never break free from these feelings. I’m wondering if you think you don’t deserve to be happy (sorry if I’ve got that wrong) but that is not the case. Are you honestly looking back on these things or are you more inclined to make your part in it worse because you’re convinced you’re at the root of it all? I don’t think we’re always our best judge of character. I’m always banging on about AA and the 12 Steps but a huge part of that - which I think works for much more people than addicts alone - is clearing away the wreckage of the past. There’s a lot to be said for “don’t look back, you’re not going that way”.

Lots of love SB

 

[Kelmum]

Wow thank you everyone I never expected the gorgeous messages and hearts it honestly really touched me.I have had a good week as in I’ve kept myself busy and I have registered to a bereavement site that was sent to me, I had some hi lights put in my hair and brought a couple of items of clothes so I feel like me again. I truly felt so much better after writing on here so thank god for these forums and I have made myself go for a walk, I just don’t like my new normal but I know I have to get on with it . I was talking to a dear neighbour about my husbands passing and she actually said to me “ after a death of a loved one you have two choices you either go one way or another” and that she was “ proud of me going on the right way “ I never thought about that comment until recently and now I know she meant that I hadn’t hit the bottle or just given up and today I’m proud of me too. Once again thank you for the love and advice and I will get through this I promise I will

 

[newaccount2022]

Sometimes I think the pain of loneliness will kill me. Most days I can barely breathe.

 

[Slaybutter]

If anyone reading here has a very loud inner critic, as sometimes goes hand in hand with depression, I hope this article brings you some peace and/or a little laughter:

The Voice in My Head Doesn’t Want Me to Get Sober

So I learned to shut him — of course it’s a him — up.

www.thecut.com