The Depression Thread #2

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candyland_

Look at me and you’ll see fresh hair, waxed brows and manicured nails but my head is a whole other story.
 
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Pollyanna263

Took one for the team and had a shower.

Don’t feel any better! Just feel more knackered.

Save yourselves the energy and don’t bother xx

Edit to add I didn’t even contemplate washing my hair. It just got shoved up high out the way.
 
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M

Maid22

Pollyanna263 said:
Took one for the team and had a shower.

Don’t feel any better! Just feel more knackered.

Save yourselves the energy and don’t bother xx

Edit to add I didn’t even contemplate washing my hair. It just got shoved up high out the way.
Click to expand...
Good on you I'm thinking about it but really can't be bothered! As for hair washing, I've always hated washing it, I leave it go for as long as poss and also put it up.
 
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Pollyanna263

Leelah said:
What to do for burnout from work?
Click to expand...
Is work the only factor, or are there other things adding to it?

Are you able to take some time off?

I reached a point where I was (finally) signed off, long after my GP first wanted to. I kept refusing, saying I was okay and work was what was keeping me going… Actually it was masking how badly I was coping overall.

Taking time off felt alien to me, but it was necessary.

If you feel able to, you need to do it xx
 
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Into_the_tunnel

I just want to pop in and send big hugs to everyone on here. I think feeling down can be particularly hard when SM is bombarding us with images of people living up summer, their holidays etc.

In terms of washing, it was the biggest bone of contention when I was at my worst. Each day ended with an argument about whether I had washed, changed, cleaned. After a few days I was forced into the shower (always at night with the light off). The cycle then started again.

I also want to express my sadness at how posters can come in and tell people to “shake their life up”. If it was that easy, would we be here? Would we be cycling through different drugs trying just to get through each day? Would a science teacher be so out of it with their desperate thoughts that they set their microwave on fire but really DGAS? How many of us have (or had- in my case for the first ) successful careers, happy family lives, friends? Depression isn’t here because we choose to ruminate. It strikes without warning for numerous reasons and it can lift (or not) without warning for numerous reasons.

Sorry to go on- you are all so strong.
 
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Pollyanna263

@Into_the_tunnel i absolutely agree, I find the posts about ‘why don’t you just xyz’ infuriating and I have to ignore them. It’s not as simple as changing jobs when you can’t even manage to get out of bed.

Your comments about washing - I’m not sure whether you had an internal argument with yourself, or if it was someone else… I’m so sorry if it was someone else. I’m sure they thought they were helping, but that’s not the way to support, is it

We’re always here if you need us, even if you’re avoiding SM xx
 
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Into_the_tunnel

Thank you. It was someone else. It is fine I think, looking back on it, after 4 or 5 days of not leaving the house/bed/sofa each time I needed to be clean. I never felt better though. Ever. Why would I care about something being clean when I didn’t care about that thing in the first place? Which, if you haven’t been there, can’t be understood.
Xxx
 
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Pollyanna263

Yes, it’s so hard to explain to someone. I would never have understood it, before I was in it xx
 
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Sideboard Bob

I think there are some people who don’t understand the difference between feeling a bit down, and actually suffering from depression. When I don’t have depression I can easily cheer myself up, see things in a positive way etc, but just now I literally can’t, it’s how I know it’s genuinely an illness.
 
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Pollyanna263

Things like changing job / going travelling / going on a spontaneous weekend away alone are so far beyond what I’m capable of, that I can’t even process the thoughts needed to begin to think about them!

To get into the shower this morning was such a long process, I was exhausted before I’d even turned on the water.
4 years ago if you’d told me that, I’d have had no way to understand that difficulty.


Edit to add I think that’s why I posted here in the first place yesterday about not knowing when I’d last showered etc. - because I desperately needed someone to tell me I wasn’t alone, and I knew that I wasn’t the only one to be feeling that. I hoped it might make someone else feel less alone, too
 
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Sideboard Bob

I really felt for you when you posted that last night, but you definitely made a lot of us feel less alone, and yourself.

I know what you mean about things changing job/travelling. There’s so much I’d love to do. I get so frustrated with myself because I should feel lucky that I’m physically able to. Mentally it’s a different story though.

I honestly think it is possible for things to get better for all of us, in time.
 
Reactions: 5
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