The Depression Thread #2

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@FlipFlop0706 I have no idea about dissertation except I once typed one out. I just wanted to say that you may feel a failure but how can you be when you've got this far battling depression and producing what you have? Am I a failure because I never went to University? Please don't be so hard on yourself. You do what you can. I honestly think you're incredible and I expect it's your all over perfectionism that's causing you such pain. Give your mind a break, do what you can, hand it in, shrug your shoulders and say phew. I'm assuming you're being treated for your depression.
 
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@FlipFlop0706 I have no idea about dissertation except I once typed one out. I just wanted to say that you may feel a failure but how can you be when you've got this far battling depression and producing what you have? Am I a failure because I never went to University? Please don't be so hard on yourself. You do what you can. I honestly think you're incredible and I expect it's your all over perfectionism that's causing you such pain. Give your mind a break, do what you can, hand it in, shrug your shoulders and say phew. I'm assuming you're being treated for your depression.
Thank you for your kind words. As for treatment, it’s been a bit of a nightmare. Tried anti depressants, just made me sleep all the time and feel numb to everything. Doc adjusted the dose and still wasn’t affective. So came off them. Then tried CBT which was an utter disaster and if anything just made everything worse. Basically therapist told me I was “silly” and “immature” for thinking the way I do.

So I stopped going after that and since then I’ve just been floating along trying to manage it myself. Sone days better than others. I’ve been considering going back to the gp as I’ve got to do something but I’m a bit scared to considering nothing worked for me before.

❤ to all of you for your support, I feel better having put it into words. I’m going to see what I can manage over the weekend and then reassess on Monday evening if I am going to upload it or not.
 
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Thank you for your kind words. As for treatment, it’s been a bit of a nightmare. Tried anti depressants, just made me sleep all the time and feel numb to everything. Doc adjusted the dose and still wasn’t affective. So came off them. Then tried CBT which was an utter disaster and if anything just made everything worse. Basically therapist told me I was “silly” and “immature” for thinking the way I do.

So I stopped going after that and since then I’ve just been floating along trying to manage it myself. Sone days better than others. I’ve been considering going back to the gp as I’ve got to do something but I’m a bit scared to considering nothing worked for me before.

❤ to all of you for your support, I feel better having put it into words. I’m going to see what I can manage over the weekend and then reassess on Monday evening if I am going to upload it or not.
On the meds front, I’d advise you keep trying. I’m afraid it can be a lot of trial and error. Getting through the initial few weeks of the worst side effects. Giving them a chance to work and seeing if they help more than they hurt. And going back to the start with another medication if not. I’ve been on and off lexapro for years. when I’m taking them I don’t think they’re doing much, but when I come off them I can barely survive. It’s so hard and I’m so sorry you’re struggling. Keep trying. As long as there are things to try, there’s hope of improvement.
 
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Thought I’d update you all. So I managed to submit my dissertation on time this morning! I did the best I could given my mh. It’s not going to pass (that’s not me being all depressive, merely factual as I looked and its not going to meet the pass criteria) but I’m really proud of myself for just submitting given I just wanted to give it all up a few weeks ago.

I’ve tried my best and that’s all I can do. At least I’ve submitted something and it’s out of my head at the very least.
 
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I’ve called my doctor and they’ve prescribed me Mirtazapine today. I don’t even know how I’m going to have the energy to collect it. I can’t function in the slightest.
 
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Thought I’d update you all. So I managed to submit my dissertation on time this morning! I did the best I could given my mh. It’s not going to pass (that’s not me being all depressive, merely factual as I looked and its not going to meet the pass criteria) but I’m really proud of myself for just submitting given I just wanted to give it all up a few weeks ago.

I’ve tried my best and that’s all I can do. At least I’ve submitted something and it’s out of my head at the very least.
Aww well done. You should be proud of yourself. I hope it's a weight lifted. 😊
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I’ve called my doctor and they’ve prescribed me Mirtazapine today. I don’t even know how I’m going to have the energy to collect it. I can’t function in the slightest.
I will be interested to see how you get on with these. I only took one and slept for 24 hours!
 
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Tonight is my last session of a therapy programme I've been attending. In the main, it's been good and I've changed a few things about myself based on the course content. Things did get much worse for me in the first couple of weeks, but they've since stabilised and I feel a lot better than I did a month ago.
I'm making time for myself to relax, heal and rest my mind. I've gone from moderate-severe to severe and now down to moderate. I'm not in the best place currently but I feel that I'm slowly getting better.
 
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I’m currently waiting to go back to my therapist and I’m struggling quite a bit at the moment. I could see someone free through work, but it’s not the same and it’s difficult to open up completely. I don’t think my ADHD and work is helping the situation much.
 
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I will be interested to see how you get on with these. I only took one and slept for 24 hours!
I took the first one last night and it did make me drowsy but I woke up several times in the night unfortunately and had quite disturbed sleep so opposite of your experience.

I’m also starting private therapy next week. Worried about how it’ll go as I couldn’t even get through the phone call with the doctor yesterday without crying.
 
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I took the first one last night and it did make me drowsy but I woke up several times in the night unfortunately and had quite disturbed sleep so opposite of your experience.

I’m also starting private therapy next week. Worried about how it’ll go as I couldn’t even get through the phone call with the doctor yesterday without crying.
I cried during my first session and barely recounted why i was so sad... it gets easier!

Im absolutely MISERABLE today. I can't get out of this head space. I have a million things I could be doing but can't start. The house is a mess. I'm a mess.
 
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As i surface from my pit of misery i need to clean my depression house.... i have 2 batteries for my hoover and i dont think thats enough... everything i read says start small so im trying that.
Ive put the washing on.
But i need to move the dry washing off the airers before it finishes...
Then i should dust really because the whole place is minging. I think if i can do the washing, dusting and just hoovering the stairs today i will feel good.
My toilet seats half falling off... needs tightened but the bathroom also needs cleaned so might save that for tomorrow 🤣
I have a new job which is going to pay me a LOT more so I am going to try get a cleaner to help me out because I really struggle with cleaning and it becomes a huge thing when the house is like it is now and im surfacing from my depression. It just makes it 10x harder!

Wish me luck!
 
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@flutternutter Good luck. I was Mrs Organization last week. This week the opposite. It is true though, just tackle one job at a time. Staying focused is the tricky part. 😊
 
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