I agree, - sites like Patreon were created precisely for this purpose - donations in return for content - blame the process not the person.
I really enjoyed day 13, everyone looked happy and the singing was delightful.
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I really enjoyed day 13, everyone looked happy and the singing was delightful.
I personally think the ‘let’s build a Snowman, I mean a crèche’ was to cue the Gift Grab sheep to start sending the rest of the zoo, kings and town folk. She even made sure to include the measurements since the nativity figurines come in different sizes... girlfriend is no dumb dumb when it comes to getting what she wants.
Selmar is employed by SJ, she pays his wages so if she wanted a new creche she only has to ask him - so she has no need for all the convoluted pretence you've described..
Her emotional attachment to the chateau is genuine, and the chapel especially, her passion when she talks about its history is clear as day.
, including Selmar-would he w
I had a look at the calendar and she does put the names of the person who the images belong to
ImagYou mean "Lebenskünstler"? Which means translated "lifeartist".
In Germany you can even put it as occupation in your passport. I once bought an apartment from someone who stated it as profession at the notary. He lived from an allowance by his ex wife.
I believe it is even a loanword in English?
If children don't perform well in school people say: "you can always become a Lebenskünstler "
15/16 years of living in a place with no other job but to look after a fairly modest pile, yet only just got round to searching out the loft for family heirlooms? I don't buy it. If you want to be a straightforward person, yes you ask them. If you want to make that person feel like they are a hero then you do it the SJ way.
I am not sure what is wrong with speaking "like that"
I am sure I do it myself, pretty much, and most people I know also speak "like that", so excuse us for opening our mouths Ok so lets float your theory for a moment. She pretends to Selmar she loves the rotten creche and he saves the day by making her a new one (on her dime for labour and materials not to mention all the other jobs its stopping him doing for her so she's already shot herself in the foot there, this Narc lark is costing her money so she doesn't seem a very clever or fiscally prudent Narc, but lets continue). He's now fallen into her cunning trap and she's got him right where she wants him, now what? Are we to believe that when the camera turned off she switched and went "cold", tried to "confuse and distort his reality" and then unleashed the "constant histrionics" on Selmar? What's the end game? When do we get to see this broken shell of a man?
Because when I look at Selmar I see a happy fellow who loves where he lives, loves his wood work (you could see the joy and pride on his face when looking at the finished creche). I see someone who takes part in group events when he feels like it and takes himself off in his camper for days on end when he feels like it.
I see a man who despite 9 months living with an alleged cold, spiteful, manipulative and evil Narc whose sole mission in life is apparently to break and destroy him, is as happy and carefree and jolly as the day he arrived.
If she's a Narc she's utterly crap at it so I wouldn't worry.
As long as a Narc is actively participating in the needs they need and keeping the victim fullfilled there is nothing to report. But once there is no use for them anymore, and they let go, that is when the victim comes crashing down. Often Narcs find victims that are satisfied with the situation proposed to them and often too they are completely unaware of the manipulating ways. I am sure if you had to say to Selmar over a beer, do you think she manipulates you into doing this and that he would say yes without thinking. Whether it bothers him or not is another question. Is it worth it, it is if he is in a nice area and has time off and likes what he is doing, he will probably go along with it. But at the end of the day everyone who is under a Narc is being exploited. Narcs are very good at not showing cold, spiteful, evil. They do however show manipulative but in a very cunning way, and we can see that SJ is very good at that, with everybody.
Well I will definitely be on the look out for the first victim to come crashing down among the many dozens of friends, family, ex boyfriends, employees and volunteers who choose to return to her again and again, often for decades and bringing their partners and even children into her toxic orbit, despite having successfully escaped her clutches and set up successful lives and relationships for many years and hundreds of miles away from her influence.
Are we to believe that every single one of them is a naïve person with no comprehension of what a healthy or unhealthy relationship looks like? Is that likely statistically? There are certainly several people on here confident they can recognise a Narc when they see one, but won't accept that any of the educated, experienced and worldly people in SJ's life is capable of it?
It is often the case that a lot of people find Narcs odd and repellent and steer clear, even if subconsciously. Even the charming ones can have something "off" about them.
The single over-riding feature of any type of Narc is their inability to keep long-term relationships - and this is one of many flies in the ointment for the Narc believers that they cannot explain away.
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You misunderstand. This was in response to ‘no one speaks like that’. I was pointing out their mistake. I have no problem I promise!I am not sure what is wrong with speaking "like that"
Exactly! Narcissistic behavior becomes pathological when you start to hurt yourself and people around you. I see no suffering victims in CD.
the old north south divide perhaps, with classI am not sure what is wrong with speaking "like that"
thrown in ?? here the only people who speak like that are the ones that actively look down their nose at regional accents regardless of job, outlook, ability, status and personal wealth. They train themselves and their children to talk in that way. I have heard it said to a child "don't you come into this house speaking like that!" when the child had a regional pronunciation. Not the words that was used, just the accent.You could wait a whole lifetime for that to happen. Look at Epstein or anyone who is devious. Its long term fabrication. She knows what she is doing, she will keep spinning her web forever until she's right up at the top of the food chain and wont have to do any manipulating anymore because she'll have people under her who will do it for her. They are so good at making everyone believe how fantastic they are. Any situation should be a balance of happy and sad, good and bad, positive and negative. What she portrays is pure positive, pure happy, pure good. Something is not right, I am sure Cat picks it up and will not stand for any of it, but it might just take a bit more smoozling from SJ to win her over time will tell. The house of cards will start to fall down, its only a matter of time. Those friends of hers are only in it because they have money on the table, and probably know that SJ could sell sand to the Arabs so they figure its a good investment. She is also very spoilt and I think it's because she is so good at convincing people to invest in her. She will do everything in her power to not let someone find her out, but I have seen a few cracks in her facade. The other day when they were out on the long walk and she stopped with M to smell a flower, she got jittery because the others up ahead were laughing and she wanted to know what they were laughing about without her. And the other incident was when she asked M to give her the gossip rundown in the morning when M brought her something oh a flower in a vase. She is fragile and likes to know what her troops are thinking so she can prepare her footing for the sequence ahead. She's a calculting person. But I guess from the outside she looks like a fantastic human being. It must be a really hard job to keep up that facade.
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I see people being used by someone who wants to live in the lap of luxury by fair means or foul.
@Princess and the Pea be careful you don't get drawn into this
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I think I am beginning to see him looking a little uncomfortable when the cards are read out when opening the gifts. I might be imagining it though! No hint of modesty from her, reading out (in full) all the praise and compliments without even trying to precis them down. Selmar seems a modest man & maybe sitting beside someone who is happy to boast by proxy is making the pennies drop?
Perfectly put. I hadn't noticed that about the walk, but now you say it.
Or psychological analysis to Tattlers
A little bit of common or garden FOMO is evidence? Blimey. You’ll be quoting the way she breathes next. I smell CONFIRMATION BIAS
Now that you mention that, when Selmar was dressed like Santa Klaus, and he was giving out the presents with a poem. Who do you think wrote the poems...? I'll give you one guess.
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