The Chateau Diaries #55 How to turn a chateau into a dump in 3 easy steps

[Scorpio]

Ever since the Christies announcement this old joke has been bouncing around my head:

A bird was standing in a field chatting with a bull.

“I would love to get to the top of yonder tree,” sighed the bird, “but I ain’t got the energy.”

“Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.”

The bird pecked at some dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. And similarly for the third day.

Finally, on the fourth day, he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

This was when a farmer saw him, dashed into the farmhouse, emerged with a shotgun, and shot the bird right out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.

 

[Bored Mermaid CC]

come on folks let’s leave Hanni alone-if she has been sick or still is with long haul COVID or some other problem let’s cut her some slack-if she at some point appears recovered and participating in the shenanigans then she will be available for scrutiny-but right now she seems unwell and fragile-it is unseemly to have a go at her

 

[Marquis de Potpourri]

The downstairs loo was begun in at least of June 2020!

Marquis' fiancee here. Marquis is on Shabbat break.

That is true. The downstairs lavatory has been under renovations since June 2020. It is amazing how long the work has strung out. Is it not a priority for Stephanie to have a guest bathroom downstairs? Where do her workers and guests go when they have to? Washroom fixtures getting lost in the mail just isn't an excuse good enough anymore because it's been months since she ordered them. I wonder what she sees wrong with bathroom fixtures from France? I have been in France for a few weeks now and I see no issues with the ones I've used.

Congratulations we expect standards. Hopefully you will employ that nice couple we've just heard about at Christie's

Thank you! Luckily, the house and apartment we bought are both fully furnished and move-in ready. We're quite happy with the decor, so it's really just a matter of personalizing them, so we won't need Sj and Bjj to come and ruin things for us.

 

[Linus]

Philip is NEVER going to leave Lalalande. He has discovered sycophanting will take him to far-off places he only dreamed of going, all-expense paid. He will be her forever gay best friend forever. MPK has been completely dethroned.

Of course he won't.
(sharing for newbies)

 

[Le Comte de Monte Cristo]

I for sure like to see scotsman having a good time...after being ill he surely needs a good time off...not very fond of his humor..but i think he is a nice man..Fan Flash leaves.but i still think he still can have a good time there..he looks to me someone who is very good with all people..him being a taxidriver surely has thought him this...i think i feld more at ease with him then with Fan...he will help Nutty as much as he can...makes it more shamefull for Fanny..just to leave...if he was my brother being so ill..and come to stay...i would call a lunch with the king off...but she is so selfish ..she doesnt care about anyone..just herself....but that isnt a big surprise to gerry i guess..

 

[Jikki2]

BTW, Andrew is back in Spain partying in Torremolinos with Danny and others. Teabeg is nowhere to be seen.

Source: DJTOMMASI stories on Instagram

 

[Le Comte de Monte Cristo]

It somehow puzzles me why Dan his figures arent really going up.he is making a lott of an effort...clearly you have to act like a crazy nutcase to get your figures up...and most people dont admire real work..Dans channel is the only one i subscribed to..i can be critical of his gardening..but i like him..and his family..

 

[wibblywobbly]

I can't be the only one who finds SJ's personal life incredibly boring, can I? I've been skimming past so many posts.

I do think she's nuts to travel to the US. Aren't we back to being the worst country with covid now?

On a side note: I adopted a new cat today. Curbside adoption so I couldn't meet her first, just picked the one who had been there the longest: February! She growls when she's happy plus a lot of attitude; we should get along fine.

 

[Marquis de Potpourri]

Philip is NEVER going to leave Lalalande. He has discovered sycophanting will take him to far-off places he only dreamed of going, all-expense paid. He will be her forever gay best friend forever. MPK has been completely dethroned.

 

[MarquisOfNadaillac]

Found this gem

 

[Marten]

"Making royal jam fit for a king - Doing It Ourselves".
Shangri La is one of us.

 

[Jeeves]

The Fleuries have their latest vlog up. The contrast with Anna's grandmother's art and DJ is astounding. She certainly was a talented artist.
What lovely, grounded people Anna's parents are too. Nothing pretentious about that visit.

 

[MarquisOfNadaillac]

I noticed on Dan's channel today how immaculately clean his kitchen was when he was prepping food for the meal at the Chateau and how the Chateau's kitchen was grubby when he was doing the finishing off.....

Yes, it looked great! Very professional and clean. I feel like I remember people giving him shit because its from Ikea, but it looks a thousand percent better than the kitchen at Lalande (and any of the other chateau kitchens she has shown tbh)! And he did it all on his own with a very limited budget, SJ really needs to get over herself!

 

[MsPitstop]

Here's a question for all your French Tattlers: Is it legal for SJ to film people in public without their permission? I ask this after watching her film in Goat Man's restaurant at 15.09m mark where the woman at the table behind Lego Man Steve stares at SJ filming her.

Remember Ryan (the village idiot) was told he couldn't film in a bakery (?).

I found some information (see below). SJ is filming for production (and make a profit from it via her vlogs) not for private use. I'd assume you need to have permission to have a person's face show, as is the case across the media.

It annoys me so much that SJ shoves her iPhone in guests' faces. So do the guests and volunteers have to sign a waiver to be filmed? I hate having my photo taken or be filmed without my permission - basically as I want to have my lipstick on and hair brushed! SJ would get a backhander from me if she started shoving her iPhone at me!

I'd like to see her try this in NYC at a cafe, shoving her iPhone in a New Yorker's face!


In France, per article 226-1 du code pénal recording without consent may be punished by one year in jail and 45000€ fine. Any recording without authorization of all parties involved (including the owners or administrators of buildings recorded either outside or inside due to copyright of the architectural image) can also land you in legal trouble either criminally or in civil court. The consent is implied if the parties involved knew about it and had means to deny authorization but didn't, but mind that any recording, secret or not, can be considered non consented, which probably discourage anyone from recording anything in France.

... many forms of recording in France, including tourists taking pictures of the Eiffel tower, obviously without authorization of the administrators of the tower or any potential passer-by, is in fact committing a crime, although obviously the law in simply not enforced for these cases. However, if a filmmaker records the Eiffel Tower and makes millions in box office, the tower administration will probably go to the trouble of collecting some money threatening to press charges if not paid.

 

[Clara Burnett]

I wanted to address the speculation that SJ and Squirrelnutkins are having a mad, torrid affair. I am a gay man, and I have had many friendships with straight women over the years. When I was Squirrelnutkins age, I used to:

* Style my girlfriends' clothes, hair and makeup.

* Sew original design dresses for them.

* Sleep in the same bed with them (no sex).

* Redecorate their apartments.

* Act as confident/psychoanalyst.

* Escort them to events their straight boyfriends wouldn't.

* Hold hands in public, play footsie under the table, laugh a lot over it, especially when other straights thought we were a "couple."

* Giggle together over other boys we both thought were hot.

That's what we do. Believe me: Squirrelnutkins is most definitely not fucking SJ.

That is all.

And while you were doing all this, did you also allow the girlfriend at hand to tell everybody around you that you were her boyfriend, that you guys were so in love? I can totally understand all you are saying, but it's no comparison to the situation SJ and Snorty are in, because it has been confirmed by multiple sources that's how they are behaving. I obviously don't know exactly what is going on in her ugly bedroom and it might all be a hoax indeed, just trying to point out there is a distinct difference in how they are acting on and off camera. On camera he acts as her loyal lapdog/employee, off camera they are telling a story of an amazing love connection. Odd, because the other way around might make more sense, faking a relationship that irl isn't there. Anyway, no matter what the real truth is, they are faking and spinning for sure. Most likely there's a strategy involved; SJ doesn't care either way, as long as her position is stable and the money keeps pouring in.

 

[Seeingitasitis]

OK So I have a confession. My life has been quite unusual and interesting so I e mailed Marie and asked her if she would be interested in my success story. She said she would and we arranged an interview. So in brief, my life story is: I joined a nunnery at 19 where I remained until I was 33 during which time I fell in love with an Abbot from the local monastery. We left our previous lives and married. Then he died in mysterious circumstances and I was accused of his murder, so I was back in the cell, so to speak. My innocence was proved by my tireless investigations two years later and I was released back into the arms of my children. I went on to write a bestseller, which was made into a film and with the money I started up a company who struck oil and I live a life of privilege. Now, I have just received the fully edited interview, a transcript, in its entirety and will give you a preview here - as it is just between us:
Marie: I would like to introduce you to my dearest friend, Inven Tion. He he hee! Now you have had a really interesting life and are very successful aren't you?
Me: Yes
Marie: Well. Te hee hee. That is lovely. Now, have you ever lived in a French chateau?
Me: Well, no. But I have....
Marie: Have you ever put flowers in jam jars and called it floral design?
Me: No, but I.....
Marie: Have you ever been gifted a car by begging?
Me: No
Marie: Created a brand?
Me: Well, umm no. However...
Marie: Earned enough to live on by begging?
Me: Again, no
Marie: You are not very successful are you?
Are you able to offer me free, luxury accommodation for more than two weeks?
Me: Err no.
Marie: Can you donate free microphones, a drone and luxury recording equipment?
Me: Umm, I thought you were here to interview me?
Marie: DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO. Cut this here Sara. What a waste of time..

 

[KiKiGee]

Looks like Stephanie Jarvis and Philip Janssen did not show Marie Wiik how to set a table.

 

[Marquis de Potpourri]

Coming to New York to become Christie's October sale tastemaker, is she?
I wonder how she wangled that. Whom did she send nudes to to get that role?

Well, that is a huge honor she does not deserve.
Being a tastemaker is, for many, a one-time gig, with very few exceptions like Martha Stewart (among others) who get invited regularly.
All tastemakers at Christie's are well-known, trained, and successful designers. Some are expert party/events planners.
They are the equivalent of a stager in real estate, but the role is still a great line item on anyone's CV.
I'm guessing they'll do table settings, but amateur actor, singer, wannabe-designer BJJ being a co-tastemaker with his secret girlfriend means Christie's has just substantially lowered the bar.

If Christie's October sale theme is something like DERELICTE ala Mugatu in Zoolander, I'd completely understand why they picked SJ.

Christie's October sale Theme: DUMPSTER CHIC with Stephanie Jarvis

We can expect her here in a few months: https://www.christies.com/features?Type=Tastemakers&FeatureTypeID=32&LID=1

 

[Patriciarella]

well he made a few thousand euros with that beggingvlog...so there is something to be spend...

Let’s have a tattle bet: Andrew won’t return to cottage and the stair money is gone. SJ no better on vacation also. Both with their paid escorts, so sad.

 

[Le Comte de Monte Cristo]

"Ooh, suits you Sir!" View attachment 720676

no it didnt....what a nasty creepy clergyman...it must been his wet dream for months....disgusting..thats one reason i quit with church....i come from a very religious catholic family...a lott of nuns and priests .....it gave me much insight how things really went on...and i hated it...my aunt who was also a very wealthy nun....which she kept a secret in her congregation...said once to me...you dont have to like the priests..they act like they are christ on earth..but they clearly are not.....sorry i dot believe it anymore..i have my own believe..and that is.... treat every human being the same you like to be treated....no priest is telling me what i should do....or what i shouldnt do...