The Chateau Diaries #49 Tasteless tango, Teabag in turmoil & tearful Tatiana in Turkey.

[CountessPompidoo]

she would do well to create a gallery room and put all her fathers works in there as an exhibit that makes some sense. Sprinkling them about the house is strange considering their content/style.

Agree. So much more in keeping. Can you imagine the pretentiousness The Derek Jarvis Gallery would bring though. Or the nightmares, depending on your point of view.
A quick recap for us all : http://www.derekjarvis.com/

 

[KiKiGee]

What does FORESEEABLE FUTURE even mean??? I do believe if he is shown the door at Lalande, sewist Sara will claim him as the child she never had. Their relationship is a weird one as well.

comments from yesterday's flog...
Betty Zak
2 hours ago (edited)
Can someone explain? Philip is buying stuff for the chateu. Is he going to live there permanently? Btw you bought some great stuff!

1

REPLY

Grace
2 hours ago
@Betty zak for your info, Philip has mentioned numerous times in the Live Chat he will be staying at Lalande for the foreseeable future.

 

[HalcyonOrganic]

Grace is a bit bitchy…

 

[CountessPompidoo]

This one was on purpose, she is very canny and manipulative, do not think for a second that she "doesnt care what she puts on" she wears these mumsy outfits when she is begging

Did you notice that she didnt wear her cartier watch?

She seems relatable with her patchwork bag as if she saw her in her free time herself so people can feel sorry for her ....

It is funny how people see the same thing and regard it differently. I saw this on TV too. As I recall, the Mayoress had said to her that the Mayor suggested she learn French as it would be helpful to her. She ordered her to go and tell the Mayor she did not have time. It came across to me as being quite rude. All she needed to say was, "I am hoping to learn all I can." and she would have made a better impression. I do agree, she worked hard but I am not at all sure it was all high quality renovation.

True, some of the wallpapers were a bit ‘dodgy’ especially the hallway she renovated. I also hated the dining room Reno. She loves her patterned wallpaper does Fiona.
On reflection, you’re correct re her response to the Mayoress.
Fiona always loooked like she’d chewed a wasp. She was a hurricane of activity but sooooo stressed out all the time

 

[Rory]

Venice or Versailles? If they are going to Versailles rather than Venice as planned in the autumn, I wonder if it may have something to do with a re-scheduled anniversary trip for Nic and Marie. I think N and M had invited SJ to go on a trip to Venice for a special anniversary but, because of travel restrictions, it could not happen. Maybe they re-scheduled it to the autumn and it's possible that SJ wanted to take PJ along with her.

Good point re the rescheduled anniversary trip which was on the Orient Express. Mason was going with SJ. It is a very expensive trip but looks a great experience. Maybe Mason's return is to take the trip.

 

[Seeingitasitis]

Thanks! I guess the chateau I found is still NOT gonna be funded by Patreons..
When do you all think he is gonna close this grift down???
After Titti stands him up maybe?
Maybe when he goes home to visit this month he will long to stay home with his family.

He will not close it down. Every little helps

 

[KiKiGee]

‘Bonne Maman’ is the polite French term for ‘Grandmother’, has been reinvented again. Where did this furniture come from??? It's all starting to look the same. A room for two but you can entertain a large crowd if needed. Can someone at Lalande fix the wonky lampshades??? You can hear the sheep bleeding???

theladyofcharente

The absolutely lovely @chateaudelalande. This very special bedroom sits in a square large tower and thus profits from views on two sides looking out over rolling fields. You can hear roosters crowing and sheep bleeding in the distance. A prettier picture of the charms of rural life cannot be found. @chateaudelalande
11h

 

[BlackWolf]

‘Bonne Maman’ is the polite French term for ‘Grandmother’, has been reinvented again. Where did this furniture come from??? It's all starting to look the same. A room for two but you can entertain a large crowd if needed. Can someone at Lalande fix the wonky lampshades??? You can hear the sheep bleeding???


View attachment 692502

theladyofcharente

The absolutely lovely @chateaudelalande. This very special bedroom sits in a square large tower and thus profits from views on two sides looking out over rolling fields. You can hear roosters crowing and sheep bleeding in the distance. A prettier picture of the charms of rural life cannot be found. @chateaudelalande
11h

You can also hear the Silence of the Lambs....

 

[Milre]

guess Isabelle didn’t teach her to cross her legs at her ankles like a lady-nope Fanny goes full on tart slinging her leg over her knee-finishing classes were wasted on the chatelaine

She likes to do some flashing herself

 

[AndAnotherName]

What’s with that Tatiana woman in Turkey ? Good grief ?? Has anyone looked at her FB profile? She’s all about saving live stock.
Granted I hate the way animals are killed for meat - disgusting and inhumane but she’s got it plastered
All over her FB page ! Every post !



I still reckon Titiyana is a guy from Nigeria. You know, one of those phony relationship scams that will turn into extortion and poor Silly Selmar has fallen down the rabbit hole, hook, line and sinker!

 

[Seeingitasitis]

There’s numerous comments about the painting resembling Cat

View attachment 692195View attachment 692196
I‘ve gotta say, they might be on to something. Steph must really miss Cat, she’s subconsciously buying portraits that resemble her. I can’t wait to see what Steph brings home when she starts missing Marie…

Surely she will go back for the painting of the blonde with its many faults and its need for renovation.

 

[AndAnotherName]

What's even funnier is that there are 525 people still giving that guy money for doing nothing. Tattlers exempt, of course, for research purposes.

Still not a bad income for producing nothing at all except a couple of insta pics!!

 

[BlackWolf]

She likes to do some flashing herself

Sharon Stone she definitely ain't

 

[Macson22]

What has happened to stephanie‘s face recently in the last vlog it looked like her cheeks were going to burst nothing moved except her mouth. Botox fillers cement polyfiller all of the above??

 

[Espe]

Let's not forget George liquored her up to shop. She was loose and spending freely. George was elated when unloading unfortunate inventory.

George has found his best customer to date. All the "antique dealers" in France see her coming and rub their hands together in glee. Sarah and George are on to a good thing; they can get rid of all the tat they have bought over the years and charge three times what it's worth. SJ will gladly buy it and will keep their business afloat for years. It will even be worth them paying for a few dinners for SJ and PJ and giving them free accommodation, they'll get back a lot more than what they spend. She won't even notice if she's being fleeced!

 

[ploppityplop2]

Ok Question Everyone….. who got their hands on Marie’s face ? I have to say she looks better than she has done in the past. Not so unkempt wishy washy waifish looking.
Someone taught her how to do her brows and makeup. And hair …. Still not great but better indeed.

She’s not drinking the nasty Lalande water?

Button up your three piece suit, polish your loafers, or throw on your favorite Vivienne Westwood….We’re going to a flea market in Le Mans!

In today’s episode of Sundays at the Shat-a-loo, we’ve got a wad of cash burning a hole in our pocketbook and we are going to spend, spend, spend!!!

It’s an early morning start with Philip and Stephie, the sun barely making it’s way over the horizon. A sight Lalalanders have read about in books, but didn’t know actually existed. For years, the sun at LaLande was directly above them when they awoke from their nightly slumber, as they get ready for their morning ritual. It’s confused Steph for a decade. The morning dawn, (and George and Sarah’s van) continue guiding them through town as Staphanny shares what she hopes to find today…We are looking for something that makes a statement, so keep your eyes peeled folks, that mean ‘tacky’ and yellow in Stephanese. Perhaps some bedside tables and an over mantle mirror for her bedroom or study, you know, stuff we put up before the rooms are finished, because at LaLande it’s not considered work if we don’t do it twice.

Fanny takes time to make a special announcement, “All of the Patron money that comes in for the chateau is used for the restoration and renovation of LaLande, so it doesn’t cover furniture. Which means I set aside part of my You Tube ad revenue every month so that when things happen, I can start to make the inside of LaLande look like a chateau.” Well there you go. Apparently Stephaneee has been living in a barn for the last 14 years, and has just had the epiphany that it’s not shatooey enough, antique furniture should sort out her dilemma. Thank goodness for ad revenue, because without it she might still be sleeping in the stable, with only the hay to keep the nightly chill away.

We finally make it to the flea market…oh, sorry, antiques fair, and park the van. Sarah pops out of her purple van to greet us. Everyone is ready to throw down some cash and fill vans to the brim with French antiques. We flashback to our stay with George and Sarah weeks ago, as Steph gets a jump start on the rest of us by taking the opportunity to go shopping in their barn. They run a small black market brocante on their property and specialize in hideous chairs. You and I both know Fanny can’t say no to an ugly chair, so she buys six of them, a matching settee, plus a over-the-mantle mirror frame, that French touch every barn needs to turn it into a chateau. George is a great salesman, he likes to get you drunk so he can talk you into buying stuff that he bought when he was drunk. If you live in France and have unwanted and unloved furniture, Steph is your mark, she’ll buy the lot! Selling to her could be someone’s lucrative side hustle, act fast before she spends all of her you tube monies! Be sure to call Philip to set up an appointment, he loves to take Steph barn hopping for deals, he holds the purse strings now.

Those groovy chairs and settee will look stunning with her new woodwork in the grande salon, a real feast for the eyes. But as I look into my crystal ball, I see them taking up permanent residence in Selmar’s workspace because “they’re not quite right”. I’m sure she’ll go through four more groupings of chairs before finding the paaarfect set that compliments the molding. Anyway, after what seems to be an eternity of looking at decrepit chairs, we are ready to buy more furniture! Yes friends, we are now ready to tackle the flea market, our shopping list in hand, our shopaholic gal pal at our side, and the constant sound of cash register ‘cha ching’s‘ dinging through our brains.…

You didn’t think I was serious did you, of course we’re not shopping yet, we have to get through the inconsequential nonsense first, like Philip trying on a purple velvet pirate coat for his upcoming Halloween costume. He’s going as a pirate princess this year and he’s on the hunt to complete his ensemble. We have to fuel up with croissants held delicately in our hands so we don’t damage them, it makes it harder to grip our credit cards. Steph required the help of Sarah this morning to get dressed, bless her heart, she would have been teeter tottering around in 3 inch stilettos if it weren’t for Sarah’s advice on wearing flats. What a revolutionary discovery for walking great distances, she saved me from wearing ski boots when I go hiking. Thanks Sarah!

Are we ready to shop yet? She’s strung us along forever and now I don’t even feel like shopping.…Just kidding!!! Let’s blow through our money like a lottery winner on Ambien, and buy things we don’t need!!!

Outside, we look at some long tables designed for embalming giants, pass…there’s no room in the chateau for that nonsense. Off we go into the first building, Philip is so excited, the build up has been super intense for him as he’s literally been holding in farts all morning. Stepheee spots a chandelier, all crystals with a few pastel flowers sprinkled in that I‘m shocked she walked away from. She finds that over the mantle mirror she’s been hunting for! It’s gilded and gaudy, and expresses her taste paaarfectly! And the price was right at 700 euros. Check that off the list, moving on to a cream painted secretary she’s in love with as opposed to the pale green painted bombay dresser Philip is in love with. Who will win in the battle of the tasteless? Neither, we were just window shopping. Instead we buy broken gilded frames to use as bed crowns. I think her obsession with bed crowns stems from never getting the canopy bed she longed for as a child. A treasure emerges hidden within the furniture distractions in the form of an oil painting from the 18th century, a woman dressed as Diana the Huntress. It’s to pricy for Steph, but don’t worry she talks herself into buying it. It’s been a great morning for Steph, it’s been an even better morning for the venders, cha ching!!!

We‘re back outside, and spy two yellow brocade chairs, without hesitation they get snatched up by Steph, she needed something to bring out the golden highlights in her hair and set off the green paneling in the grande salon. Hopefully she’ll find a self help book for battling her addiction to chairs. Philip is enamored by a small table, one he’d use to eat dinner at as he most likely spends his nights eating alone because no one can stand hearing him blather on about his allergies. “Squirrel!!” He spots a chair off in the distance, a green velvet flocked nightmare just waiting to be plucked. For 150 euros, a chair three old ladies have died in after being attacked by their own knitting needles, has now found a home with Philip.

We stroll by venders peddling their wares in the form of lace, fabrics, champagne flutes. Philip is contemplating what to purchase from a brooch collection, but ultimately decides to walk away, that must have taken a lot of willpower, we know Philip loves a good brooch. Instead he buys a bodice to go under his pirate coat, or for Fanny’s mannequin. Because it’s not enough to dress up ourselves, we dress up inanimate objects too. Let’s continue window shopping as we allow Philip some time to ponder his questionable choices. It’ll take a while, he had to replace the hamster in the spinning wheel in his brain for a hedgehog, and it’s now the poor thing‘s nap time. Steph looks at mantle lamps to bring out the blue in her veins, another painting of an 18th century woman, and a taxidermied snake. Philip thumbs through some cutlery, admires a wooden stamp for handblocking fabrics, put the piece de resistance is a collapsible top hat. The finishing touch to the pirate princess costume, but alas, it’s too small to fit over Philip‘s wig.

I‘m sad to say the shopping portion of our trip has finished. We’ve managed to check two things off our list, the mantle mirror and the “something that makes a statement” in the form of the huntress Diana. We’ve spent thousands of euros to make our potting sheds look like chateaux and now our imaginary friends have places to sit. Sarah and George show off their prized purchase, heads of garlic. Sarah’s mother-in-law is a 200 year old vampire and she keeps asking George if she can move in. Philip and a porter load the goods, jenga style, in the back of the van. Diana takes pride of place in the front, nestled between Steph and Philip.

Our day of retail therapy has come to an end and so have our bank accounts. We’ve spent ourselves out of house and home and will now have to burn the furniture we bought to keep warm at nights. This is where I leave you, penniless, but with plenty of places to rest our weary bones. Until next time friends, when we will inevitably purchase more chairs for the grande salon after our you tube ad revenue account replenishes. Now go forth and sit.

Brilliant

 

[kaleidosc0pe]

Exactly! Why does the world think that we actually all speak French? Quebeois speak our crappy version of "French" as well as the odd French communities outside Quebec, and governments require some government workers (definaltey politicians ) to be bilingual. The rest of us are either forced to learn French from grade 4-9 , some kids are in French immersion and there are the odd French only schools too, but generally, Canadians do not speak French and could care absolutely about speaking it.
Also why do people also think that we all could possibly know each other ? Canada is a massive country

Rant done.

Poor thing ''forced to learn French''. As if learning a new language was the worst thing that ever happened to you. As a French Canadian myself, you can go to hell, thank you very much.

 

[Jeeves]

Poor thing ''forced to learn French''. As if learning a new language was the worst thing that ever happened to you. As a French Canadian myself, you can go to hell, thank you very much.

To be fair, not everyone has the desire to learn another language or have any inclination to buy a home in France. My son was forced to learn French, as well as compulsory Welsh at school. He was keen to continue learning German but as his career plan was more Science based, he resented having an additional language forced on to him and having to drop a subject that would be of greater use to him in his studies. I also chose to drop French as soon as I could as I didn't particularly enjoy languages. It's never held me back. If I was to consider buying a home abroad, I would then probably want to learn French, Spanish, Italian, etc. No need to be quite so aggressive - it's about personal choice. My husband's sister and her family are in Quebec.

 

[HalcyonOrganic]

„You can go to hell“ wasn’t necessary.

Or is that someone who created a new profile?

 

[kaleidosc0pe]

To be fair, not everyone has the desire to learn another language or have any inclination to buy a home in France. My son was forced to learn French, as well as compulsory Welsh at school. He was keen to continue learning German but as his career plan was more Science based, he resented having an additional language forced on to him and having to drop a subject that would be of greater use to him in his studies. I also chose to drop French as soon as I could as I didn't particularly enjoy languages. If I was to consider buying a home abroad, I would then probably want to learn French, Spanish, Italian, etc. No need to be quite so aggressive - it's about personal choice. My husband's sister and her family are in Quebec.

I understand that but I was insulted ( Quebeois speak our crappy version of "French" )- so yes, I have every right to be aggressive, thank you.