The Chateau Diaries #49 Tasteless tango, Teabag in turmoil & tearful Tatiana in Turkey.

[Its-me]

Wait a second I was 200% positive he would get a boyfriend

Maybe she is a ladyboy

 

[MidCenturyMadOne]

Children learn about the "Welsh Not" in their history lessons. A child caught speaking Welsh at school was made to wear a wooden sign saying "Welsh Not" and they wore the sign until someone else was caught and the sign was then passed on. The practise had certainly died out before my 90 yr old mum went to school! She and many of her contemporaries have never been taught Welsh. This custom was more common in some parts of Wales than others, as in some parts of the principality Welsh was in not in common use (e.g. South and South East Wales,) although it is now taught as a compulsory language in schools up until the age of 16 years.
Although it seems harsh, it was very much of a time where even in Mum's school days, girls were rapped across the knuckles for hemming stitches on their grubby square of calico that "did not slant and didn't poke through" and corporal punishment was the norm. I did once have the cane for not remembering the Welsh word for shoes, although this was pretty vicious teacher who didn't last long at our school. I have never forgotten that word though!
welsh language in schools

Spent a week in Bala a few years ago and all the locals spoke welsh to each other ( possibly because they knew we were English) in our earshot. Maybe North/Central Wales is more into preserving the language?

 

[BlackWolf]

Back to garniture, which as I'm sure you understand is the subject, like sugar pieces montees, of volumes and volumes of mind-boggling French pedantry which has now reached the status of food porn as no one turns mushrooms anymore. The Japanese, whose aesthetic principles are even loftier and more authoritarian than the French, are riding high now in garniture world. They too have Rules which kitchen apprentices must not break on pain of having to eat fish stick sashimi.
Here's a glimpse at the €24 cocktails served at the hotel where Kitty Spencer's wedding guests stayed.
There's some very precious macho chef foolery going down, along the lines of I kill my own chickens and brew my own bitters. Culinary has extended to the bar.
But the main thrust toward the herbal and the floral is to bring the ladies into the bar to drink the herbally infused heavy duty alcohol. Gin full of orange peel is still gin. Women at the bar mean money for the bar. All you need is oversalted snacks and your business plan is complete.

https://www.dorchestercollection.com/wp-content/uploads/rome-hotel-eden-il-giardino-bar-spring21.pdf

At a casino in Budapest, I ordered a shot of a SAfrican liqueur - Amarula Cream - and the price for the one shot would have bought me 10 bottles of the stuff back in SAfrica. Was a tad shaken...

 

[sandro37]

Maybe she is a ladyboy

Btw speaking of Rayen's advances,
As a woman I can tell u how uncomfortable this is,
Especially when u are in some random place with the guy who is driving you there, all she can do is smile and look like she do not mind not to scorn his ego but somehow keep the distance and hope that he is not going to rape her on the way back

Yes it is very #metoo and yes it happened to me several times, taxi drivers included

 

[MidCenturyMadOne]

Back to garniture, which as I'm sure you understand is the subject, like sugar pieces montees, of volumes and volumes of mind-boggling French pedantry which has now reached the status of food porn as no one turns mushrooms anymore. The Japanese, whose aesthetic principles are even loftier and more authoritarian than the French, are riding high now in garniture world. They too have Rules which kitchen apprentices must not break on pain of having to eat fish stick sashimi.
Here's a glimpse at the €24 cocktails served at the hotel where Kitty Spencer's wedding guests stayed.
There's some very precious macho chef foolery going down, along the lines of I kill my own chickens and brew my own bitters. Culinary has extended to the bar.
But the main thrust toward the herbal and the floral is to bring the ladies into the bar to drink the herbally infused heavy duty alcohol. Gin full of orange peel is still gin. Women at the bar mean money for the bar. All you need is oversalted snacks and your business plan is complete.

https://www.dorchestercollection.com/wp-content/uploads/rome-hotel-eden-il-giardino-bar-spring21.pdf

The best cocktail bar I’ve been to is Dukes in London - where the Vespa cocktail was invented. No need for pretention there, just straight up great drinks.

 

[MrsPoker]

Btw speaking of his advances,
As a woman I can tell u how uncomfortable this is,
Especially when u are in some random place with the guy who is driving you there, all she can do is smile and look like she do not mind not to scorn his ego but somehow keep the distance and hope that he is not going to rape her on the way back

I too see how uncomfortable she is and her body language is screaming 'oh no, this is not what I had in mind' - he keeps calling her darling, putting his arm round her and she is not liking it, and I sped far enough forward to the next grimace she pulled and he was spouting they had taken things to the next level - that girl is not happy and shes gonna run (not literally there and then, but she will disappear soon enough) , but I dont think for one second he is a danger to her - he just sees something that is not there...a relationship!

 

[ComtesseRose]

Oh god car crash viewing I cant watch it 'shudders'

Poor girl/woman. He looks like a serial killer taking a selfie with his victim...

the herbal and the floral is to bring the ladies into the bar

As much as I prefer classic cocktails and not frou-frou drinks. You do have a point. I've never seen as many edible flowers used as garnish as I have within the more recent years. (And I'm just an amateur baker)
That being said, I am guilty in that category also, as I've planted violets in my parents garden, because after tasting Demel's candied violets, I wanted to make my own.

 

[sandro37]

I too see how uncomfortable she is and her body language is screaming 'oh no, this is not what I had in mind' - he keeps calling her darling, putting his arm round her and she is not liking it, and I sped far enough forward to the next grimace she pulled and he was spouting they had taken things to the next level - that girl is not happy and shes gonna run (not literally there and then, but she will disappear soon enough) , but I dont think for one second he is a danger to her - he just sees something that is not there...a relationship!

We might assume that he is not a danger to her but she doesnt know, all she knows is that yet another english creep wants something from her what is neither translation neither guided tour, it is completely inappropriate and this is real life situation you can watch for yourself where men just dont (want to) understand the boundaries
And no it is not cute nor silly even if he looks like a creep with Mickey mouse tshirt, more like @ComtesseRose pointed out - a serialkiller

SERIOUSLY RYAN ,WTF!!! dont forget to joke about it with metheric junior in your next vlog

 

[MidCenturyMadOne]

Sir Nostrille really needs to stop saying he's isolating for his anxiety ridden friend when he's literally In The Same Room with everyone else. Phillip....that's not how isolating works. And tell Fancy Fanny to stop saying that everyone has been tested and you all are negative. I, for one, know very well how difficult it is...and has been for WEEKS...to find C-19 testing.
They lie lie lie about so much at LaLaLande....but I'll not tolerate them lying about isolating or testing.
Not another word, Phillip!

The do it yourself rapid flow tests are easy to obtain ( well they are in the uk), assume they are doing them?

 

[Jeeves]

Spent a week in Bala a few years ago and all the locals spoke welsh to each other ( possibly because they knew we were English) in our earshot. Maybe North/Central Wales is more into preserving the language?

Plenty of Welsh spoken in Gwynedd (North Walians are affectionately known as Gogs - from the Welsh word Gogledd, meaning from the North), also around Carmarthen, the Swansea Valleys. and mid-Wales. Less Welsh spoken in the more industrialised South, around Cardiff and the Gwent Valleys, although the Welsh Government are actively encouraging and promoting the use of both written and spoken Welsh language. Roughly 30% of the population identify as Welsh speakers. There is a greater demand for Welsh medium education now.

 

[Ginginger]

No room or board, so whatever he had or makes can be used for whatever his little heart wants. You don’t think any of those grown ups are encouraging him to save money

I believe it was a couple months ago when he stated that he works part-time for SJ! I also think that his Grandfather passed away, so maybe some inheritance?

 

[MrsPoker]

We might assume that he is not a danger to her but she doesnt know, all she knows is that yet another english creep wants something from her what is neither translation neither guided tour, it is completely inappropriate and this is real life situation you can watch for yourself where men just dont (want to) understand the boundaries
And no it is not cute nor silly even if he looks like a creep with Mickey mouse tshirt, more like @ComtesseRose pointed out - a serialkiller

SERIOUSLY RYAN WTF!!! dont forget to joke about it with metheric junior in your next vlog

I totally agree

 

[Sami Lee]

“I love being self-employed!!”

Self-employed my a$$!
E-begging is not an employment, foolish woman.

View attachment 693321

This load of self-congratulatory codswallop really gets my goat.

For goodness sake, she does what most Mums do just about every morning before getting themselves ready for work and the children fed and ready for school -so they can all get out the front door at 8.30am...and she thinks her 'achievement' is so wonderful that it deserves a big photo and a smug wallow in her sycophantic followers' sugar? What planet is she on?

"Self-employed"? Self-unemployed more like.

 

[Bored Mermaid CC]

I'll take a ding for Marie's grifter food. She served lemon curd, a winter dessert, in the height of the French fruit season, about 50 times in a row, because she could get bottled lemon juice at the supermarket. And also killed off perfectly good strawberry crop, as you point out. She's a pig.
What would be a nice modern little garnish for lemon curd IN SEASON?
A little piped baked meringue, I think.
Some candied lemon peel. This would of course require fresh lemons.
A little sugared rosemary sprig.
Some lemon tuiles.

YES! so much waste when so much useful was nearby oooooh yummy candied lemon peel-tasty and sparkling! sugared rosemary-scented with out being perfumery and sparkling! lemon tuiles-yummy taste and crunchy texture!

we are there together @purejuice -having yummy summer food (didn’t find my egg salad on croissant-but may try again tomorrow-maybe made by me)

 

[Gibson]

“I love being self-employed!!”

Self-employed my a$$!
E-begging is not an employment, foolish woman.

View attachment 693321

That's not generally how my self employed day goes!
I had to look it up to see if grifting was on the self employed list- Apparently not!

 

[Sami Lee]

Snorty

You are a total ingoramus

That’s not isolating

That’s still in the presence of everybody

Better hope you don’t inflict an illness
Tantamount to knowingly placing her in danger

You need to be completely isolated
But you can’t abide your own company

Sending prayers to the universe for the safe keeping of your best friend

Does this also mean that he's keeping to his own bedroom too? (Does he have his own room even? I mean, where does he keep his shedload of little furry stuffed animals and costume jewellery...?)

 

[Gibson]

Rodney, Are you on drugs???
...more comments...
Rodney de Coster
14 minutes ago
Hope Stephanie is splitting everything she makes with Philip 50/50 since she relies on him to such an extreme. I’d say theirs is a partnership at this point. He actually probably should be given 25% interest in Lalande. Don’t muzzle the mule.

Rodney seems to be a man in the know...not!

 

[mrsp67]

YES! so much waste when so much useful was nearby oooooh yummy candied lemon peel-tasty and sparkling! sugared rosemary-scented with out being perfumery and sparkling! lemon tuiles-yummy taste and crunchy texture!

we are there together @purejuice -having yummy summer food (didn’t find my egg salad on croissant-but may try again tomorrow-maybe made by me)

She did sprinkle flower petals over her food!

 

[Bored Mermaid CC]

She did sprinkle flower petals over her food!

aaacckkkkk are you trying to kill @purejuice and me?

 

[Gibson]

Button up your three piece suit, polish your loafers, or throw on your favorite Vivienne Westwood….We’re going to a flea market in Le Mans!

In today’s episode of Sundays at the Shat-a-loo, we’ve got a wad of cash burning a hole in our pocketbook and we are going to spend, spend, spend!!!

It’s an early morning start with Philip and Stephie, the sun barely making it’s way over the horizon. A sight Lalalanders have read about in books, but didn’t know actually existed. For years, the sun at LaLande was directly above them when they awoke from their nightly slumber, as they get ready for their morning ritual. It’s confused Steph for a decade. The morning dawn, (and George and Sarah’s van) continue guiding them through town as Staphanny shares what she hopes to find today…We are looking for something that makes a statement, so keep your eyes peeled folks, that mean ‘tacky’ and yellow in Stephanese. Perhaps some bedside tables and an over mantle mirror for her bedroom or study, you know, stuff we put up before the rooms are finished, because at LaLande it’s not considered work if we don’t do it twice.

Fanny takes time to make a special announcement, “All of the Patron money that comes in for the chateau is used for the restoration and renovation of LaLande, so it doesn’t cover furniture. Which means I set aside part of my You Tube ad revenue every month so that when things happen, I can start to make the inside of LaLande look like a chateau.” Well there you go. Apparently Stephaneee has been living in a barn for the last 14 years, and has just had the epiphany that it’s not shatooey enough, antique furniture should sort out her dilemma. Thank goodness for ad revenue, because without it she might still be sleeping in the stable, with only the hay to keep the nightly chill away.

We finally make it to the flea market…oh, sorry, antiques fair, and park the van. Sarah pops out of her purple van to greet us. Everyone is ready to throw down some cash and fill vans to the brim with French antiques. We flashback to our stay with George and Sarah weeks ago, as Steph gets a jump start on the rest of us by taking the opportunity to go shopping in their barn. They run a small black market brocante on their property and specialize in hideous chairs. You and I both know Fanny can’t say no to an ugly chair, so she buys six of them, a matching settee, plus a over-the-mantle mirror frame, that French touch every barn needs to turn it into a chateau. George is a great salesman, he likes to get you drunk so he can talk you into buying stuff that he bought when he was drunk. If you live in France and have unwanted and unloved furniture, Steph is your mark, she’ll buy the lot! Selling to her could be someone’s lucrative side hustle, act fast before she spends all of her you tube monies! Be sure to call Philip to set up an appointment, he loves to take Steph barn hopping for deals, he holds the purse strings now.

Those groovy chairs and settee will look stunning with her new woodwork in the grande salon, a real feast for the eyes. But as I look into my crystal ball, I see them taking up permanent residence in Selmar’s workspace because “they’re not quite right”. I’m sure she’ll go through four more groupings of chairs before finding the paaarfect set that compliments the molding. Anyway, after what seems to be an eternity of looking at decrepit chairs, we are ready to buy more furniture! Yes friends, we are now ready to tackle the flea market, our shopping list in hand, our shopaholic gal pal at our side, and the constant sound of cash register ‘cha ching’s‘ dinging through our brains.…

You didn’t think I was serious did you, of course we’re not shopping yet, we have to get through the inconsequential nonsense first, like Philip trying on a purple velvet pirate coat for his upcoming Halloween costume. He’s going as a pirate princess this year and he’s on the hunt to complete his ensemble. We have to fuel up with croissants held delicately in our hands so we don’t damage them, it makes it harder to grip our credit cards. Steph required the help of Sarah this morning to get dressed, bless her heart, she would have been teeter tottering around in 3 inch stilettos if it weren’t for Sarah’s advice on wearing flats. What a revolutionary discovery for walking great distances, she saved me from wearing ski boots when I go hiking. Thanks Sarah!

Are we ready to shop yet? She’s strung us along forever and now I don’t even feel like shopping.…Just kidding!!! Let’s blow through our money like a lottery winner on Ambien, and buy things we don’t need!!!

Outside, we look at some long tables designed for embalming giants, pass…there’s no room in the chateau for that nonsense. Off we go into the first building, Philip is so excited, the build up has been super intense for him as he’s literally been holding in farts all morning. Stepheee spots a chandelier, all crystals with a few pastel flowers sprinkled in that I‘m shocked she walked away from. She finds that over the mantle mirror she’s been hunting for! It’s gilded and gaudy, and expresses her taste paaarfectly! And the price was right at 700 euros. Check that off the list, moving on to a cream painted secretary she’s in love with as opposed to the pale green painted bombay dresser Philip is in love with. Who will win in the battle of the tasteless? Neither, we were just window shopping. Instead we buy broken gilded frames to use as bed crowns. I think her obsession with bed crowns stems from never getting the canopy bed she longed for as a child. A treasure emerges hidden within the furniture distractions in the form of an oil painting from the 18th century, a woman dressed as Diana the Huntress. It’s to pricy for Steph, but don’t worry she talks herself into buying it. It’s been a great morning for Steph, it’s been an even better morning for the venders, cha ching!!!

We‘re back outside, and spy two yellow brocade chairs, without hesitation they get snatched up by Steph, she needed something to bring out the golden highlights in her hair and set off the green paneling in the grande salon. Hopefully she’ll find a self help book for battling her addiction to chairs. Philip is enamored by a small table, one he’d use to eat dinner at as he most likely spends his nights eating alone because no one can stand hearing him blather on about his allergies. “Squirrel!!” He spots a chair off in the distance, a green velvet flocked nightmare just waiting to be plucked. For 150 euros, a chair three old ladies have died in after being attacked by their own knitting needles, has now found a home with Philip.

We stroll by venders peddling their wares in the form of lace, fabrics, champagne flutes. Philip is contemplating what to purchase from a brooch collection, but ultimately decides to walk away, that must have taken a lot of willpower, we know Philip loves a good brooch. Instead he buys a bodice to go under his pirate coat, or for Fanny’s mannequin. Because it’s not enough to dress up ourselves, we dress up inanimate objects too. Let’s continue window shopping as we allow Philip some time to ponder his questionable choices. It’ll take a while, he had to replace the hamster in the spinning wheel in his brain for a hedgehog, and it’s now the poor thing‘s nap time. Steph looks at mantle lamps to bring out the blue in her veins, another painting of an 18th century woman, and a taxidermied snake. Philip thumbs through some cutlery, admires a wooden stamp for handblocking fabrics, put the piece de resistance is a collapsible top hat. The finishing touch to the pirate princess costume, but alas, it’s too small to fit over Philip‘s wig.

I‘m sad to say the shopping portion of our trip has finished. We’ve managed to check two things off our list, the mantle mirror and the “something that makes a statement” in the form of the huntress Diana. We’ve spent thousands of euros to make our potting sheds look like chateaux and now our imaginary friends have places to sit. Sarah and George show off their prized purchase, heads of garlic. Sarah’s mother-in-law is a 200 year old vampire and she keeps asking George if she can move in. Philip and a porter load the goods, jenga style, in the back of the van. Diana takes pride of place in the front, nestled between Steph and Philip.

Our day of retail therapy has come to an end and so have our bank accounts. We’ve spent ourselves out of house and home and will now have to burn the furniture we bought to keep warm at nights. This is where I leave you, penniless, but with plenty of places to rest our weary bones. Until next time friends, when we will inevitably purchase more chairs for the grande salon after our you tube ad revenue account replenishes. Now go forth and sit.

Brilliant