The Chateau Diaries #43 The Mad Queen who is eating her cake and everyone else's too

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The Chateau Diaries #43 - The Mad Queen who is eating her cake and Everyone Else's too
Congratulations @Arfarf

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Thank you @Hercule P for compiling a Chateau dictionary! and updates
Thanks to @ploppityplop2
Thanks to @MojoDublin and @Rory for Glossaries.
Thanks to @NotAChatelaine for Tattle.Life Word of The Day
Honourable Mention @Gibson Now Resident Q

CHATEAU GLOSSARY

Tarts boudoir - Chateau de Lalande
HMN - heap in the middle of nowhere
Flat 34B - bolt hole SJ

LOTL/LOTLL - Lady of the (Lost) Lake, aka Stephanie (b.1975)
SSB- She Who Shouts from the balcony, SJ
QBC- Queen of bed chambers - SJ
MB - Madame Boneyparts -SJ
SJ - Stephanie Jarvis
fan - Stephanie Jarvis

MMAF - Mad Man's a Face, i.e. mummy
Mini Apron - Isabelle Jarvis (nee Biggio, b.1942) married 1962/3 to Derek Jarvis, widowed 2009, married to Percy Atfield year???

Potty/MP - Michael Potts
Cinder-Ruth- MPotts current squeeze Ruth Kelly (b.1981)

Nitti/Nutty - Nati Oliveto

Floral Roadkill (FRK / RK) - Marie Wiik (b.1991)

BJJ - Baby Jesus Jeans, aka Philip Janssen
PP (Nostril of Lalande) - Prince Philip
UH - Uriah Heep - Philip
Renfield - Philip
Pip - Philip
The Ward - Philip

MP/MP2/MPK - Michael Petherick (b.1986)
MOLD: Man Of LOST Design - Michael Petherick
Crybaby - Michael Petherick
Sir Trotter BDSM - Michael Petherick
Teabag Trotter - Michael Petherick
Master - Swedish director of Elias Truedsson
BS - Billy Spielberg - Billy Petherick (b.1988)
Trotter, Petherdick - any Petherick family reference
Ma Trotter - Sherrie Petherick
Pa Trotter - Mr Petherick Esq
PILF: The only Petherick I'd like to be filmed with - Pa 'Mick' Trotter

Dear Brenda/BG - Brenda Gibbons (superfan/Facebook admin) from Donegal Ireland
Karen Cbomb - other superfan/admin, Canada
Jumpsuit Jill - rabid serial deletor of unfan comments on premier chat - Jill Scott, New Zealand

Donegals - Limericks (renamed in honour of Dear Brenda)
Agents - Tattlers who find out juicy background info

Chat O (or variations) - Chateau (how Brenda says it)
“BuyMeACoffee” - give me money (no, really, give me money, I really need it)

MBNS;GF - more boring narc stuff; gimme facts

PSDFHB - princess shouting down from her balcony
PRSDBP - princess in her robe shouting down from her balcony at the peasants

Wet Blanket - Fun hoover
Mickey Dodger - Woman who avoids sexual encounters

Thanks to @Rory for the SSB Main Squeeze Glossary:

1. Gregory Francis Mannion Clark - Husband and boyfriend, on and off at uni. SJ approx 18
2. Nic Larkin - apparently just friends at uni (but also dated according to CB?)
3. Married Husband 22-24??? (wedding registered in July 1999, she was 23 at the time)
4. Michael Potts met through Oliver Strong on and off 10 years. Open relationship in the end. Buys Chateau 2005 during relationship age 29.
5. Edmond Fokker van Craayenstein (player in tight trousers who pretends to be an aristocrat-BF with guy who said "let the 80 years-olds die off")
6. Mason Dwinell on and off (last we heard he is still staring at the sun?)
7. Ludwig Norweigner (otherwise known as Nordic Weirdo, alcoholic friend unceremoniously dumped at the train station without a ticket)
8. James Jardine (turned out to be "too much" for the girl who never has enough)
9. Daniel Hengeveld (nicknamed Druggy Daniel, because of his not so secret habits. IJ was furious about that romance and the fact that he introduced narcotics into the shat-o. Christmas 2016)
10. Various volunteers ad nauseum (bread oven guy Walton, Christian We etc.)
11. BJJ (any port in a storm, eh Stephanie?)


Tattle.Life Word of the day

parwhobble' (19th-century English dialect): to dominate a conversation by talking continuously, without listening to a word from anyone else.

'snollygoster' (19th century): an individual guided by personal gain rather than by principles.

‘ingordigiousness’: extreme greed; an insatiable desire for wealth at any cost.


Château dictionary

BasMinger: Château de Basmaignée/aka Trotter Towers, the spin off Vlogs of the Trotters. @Jeeves

Begmania: château de Basmaignée @Le Comte de Monte Cristo

Cadge: Cadeaux at the Châteaux' channel @Definitely Maybe

Dadification: The attribution of Derek's nature or characteristics at each and every opportunity. @Jeeves

(a) Derek, to be a Derek: someone who is obsessed with boobs @Gibson

(a) Fouquet: as in to pull a Fouquet. The act of using public funds to finance once lavish lifestyle, in honour of the Great Nicolas Fouquet, Louis the XIV’s finance minister and builder of celebrated Château of Vaux-le-Vicomte (the most ostentatious Château of its time, pre-dating the Versailles renovations) who finished his life in jail being accused by the King of mismanagement of funds. @justcommonsense

GAG: Grab a Gift @Mrs O

Gustavo: male prostitute with expensive tastes @Hercule P

High Priestess Skankadankadingdong: SJ's name @lalablahblah

Madrid syndrom: stricto sensu, long journey to have some bedroom activities in a very expensive hotel in the middle of a pandemy
Flexible version, long journey to have some bedroom activities in a very expensive place @Hercule P

Petherfending: defending Petherick @Joy no toile

Philipicate (verb)
@Marquis de Potpourri when BJJ...
a) ...annoying shares an opinion behind the camera,
b) ...makes things and ideas more confusing;
c) ...pretends to be an expert on something.

Pontiphilcate : @Jeeves

Selmobile: Selmar’s camper-van vehicle of love and adventure @Princess and the Pea or @Gibson ?????

Spored: bored with Spode, I am so spored right now, or Diesel is spored; he wants his old dog dish back. @ProfessorPlum

Stephanese: What would be your definition? @mummydearest

Stephfending: when I actually do feel the need to defend SJ. @Milre

Stephiphany: a sudden awareness of the chance to swindle @ProfessorPlum

Trolliosis: a debilitating condition caused by Tattlers asking questions or making observations relating to grifting @lalablahblah

To Versailles: to behave like Marie-Antoinette (Sofia Coppola’s dancing, dressing-up, gambling, romanticising nature version of Marie-Antoinette) As in They Versailled again all night yesterday! @justcommonsense

To Versailles up: to make Versailles-inspired design choices that, depending on taste and budget, may result in a nouveau-riche or tat-like look. As in They Versailled up the entrance, it looks [insert preferred adjective]! @justcommonsense

ArtWork @Linus

ARTWORK @Linus


most Liked on thread 42
Espe
Chatty Member
Jun 20, 2021[/SIZE]

• #82[/SIZE]

Do you think we could arrange for one of the other chateaux owners to visit LaLande and go round filming it in Stephanie mode but not let her get a word in edgeways? Maybe Vivienne or Sarah (from Sarah & George) could do it; it would have to be someone confident who could dominate. I would love to see them describing all SJ's belongings. "We should point out that Stephanie has only been living here for 16 years and so has not had time to achieve very much in the way of renovation but she assures us that a lot of work is in progress at the moment." "We are now in the chatelaine's boudoir. This chandelier is an example of Murano's kitsch design phase and is unlike;y to be found in any other chateaux." "Now, let's look at some of Derek Jarvis's striking paintings which are just parfect against the de Gournay wallpaper. Now, in this one, we have a young blonde woman with bare breasts and bottom, she appears to be riding on the back of a sheep; she looks remarkably like ..(snorting from the cameraman)." Now, we are in the cellar of La Lande which, unlike many other chateaux cellars, appears to contain a lot of bats, rather than wine." "What a lovely chapel, we have seen some photographs showing that, nowadays, the chapel is used for parties and modelling purposes". "Lovely view out of the window to where there was once a lake; sadly it's not there any more but you can just glimpse a rather impressive camper van in the forest." "Now, we are up in the attic where there are rails of party costumes and here's a rather striking bright yellow polyester ball gown which was designed for the presenter of the Miss World TV show when the contest was held in South Africa." "The impressive gardens have embraced some new ideas such as growing pumpkins among the roses and tomatoes round the fountain which, interestingly also contains an inflatable pink flamingo." "What an interesting chateau, Stephanie, a really eclectic mixture of styles and taste, it's parfectly unique. Can we stay an extra night so we can go shopping in your famous brocante?"[/SIZE]

PAAARRRRFECT

 

[Alice Strictknickers]

of course so offense taken my dear friend-amplification is always appreciated-I’ve just become so bored with the same crap that annoys you-they quite literally make my head hurt to watch-so I need to use humor to complain!

their deceptions will eventually be their downfall

Oh my, I just misread "deception", I read "decapitation". Oh dearie me. Seriously! My bad!

 

[mrsp67]

Just in case you forgot, brilliant work by the OGs:
reddit's u/ruinandcaviar lingerie shot in Lalande's chapel, thanks to @Mummy Dearest

Reddit - Dive into anything

www.reddit.com

According to @Clara Burnett, SJ hosted dinner parties in the chapel with the altar as the buffet.....

The Chateau Diaries #21 Peep shows, Creep shows, Tour drama overflows

"He's mine!" I love that goat farmer.

tattle.life

And Tweeted about the Moonie wedding party in honor of her birthday in which all guests were "married" in a mass wedding ceremony in the chapel. Screenshot courtesy of @Krypgal

The Chateau Diaries #16 Mirror mirror on the wall, let Tattlers gather and watch me fall!

IJ can't be all that proper. She encouraged daddddy to make soft porn kitchen tiles. So I doubt off camera she's too worried about what the priest thinks. Oh father come in for a cup of tea. Don't mind my sainted dead husband's nudie art. He's now painting in heaven.

tattle.life

this actually disgust me as a Catholic! How dare she brag that her chapel is consecrated and actually hold mass and a wedding that is a sacrament. Definitely will be a special place in hell for her! And shame on the troll that approved of her daughter abusing a consecrated church like this!

 

[MsPitstop]

From DIO comments' section:
JediAn
1 hour ago
Oh my. I'm disappointed at the video but more the comments. If someone would tell me what's really fun about watching tipsy or drunk people load up a car in ready for one of them to drive? This is the worst video I have seen on this channel. On top of that, it was full of..... nothing new.

 

[Clara Burnett]

The drunk driving Phil and Angelina were about to engage in is a horrible thing to watch. Anything could have happened. But even worse: they all just don’t care and feel no shame even being filmed doing it. SJ once killed a kitten by running over it, driving back to the shittoo after a party elsewhere.

 

[Jeeves]

Mmmm - not just half a glass of wine then?

 

[Hihellohowr31]

I wish some of the B&B guests would post a review of their stay....but be HONEST about the accommodations.
However, as we know, the visitors for the next 3 months or so are brainwashed zombies in the SJ cult.... So getting an honest report would be surprising.

Ya even I want reviews … there hasn’t even been any pics on Instagram from the guests …but even if the BnB is not up to the mark like dirty toilets , dirty cutlery etc these brainwashed guests will be more than willing to wash utensils and clean their own toilets even after paying 100s of pounds … all sj has to do is tell them her sob story about how she was away partying whole week and just returns 2 seconds before the dinner .. so it’s guests responsiblity to keep things clean don’t they know

 

[Jeeves]

this actually disgust me as a Catholic! How dare she brag that her chapel is consecrated and actually hold mass and a wedding that is a sacrament. Definitely will be a special place in hell for her! And shame on the troll that approved of her daughter abusing a consecrated church like this!

Not Stephending here but I think that the chapel was reconsecrated in time for Isabelle and Percy's wedding. We know however that her very dodgy moral compass allows her to do whatever she pleases.

Maybe a few housebricks in your pockets next time?

 

[Kickintheass]

So fool and Angel decided to speak out this week about the bullying story.

 

[Clara Burnett]

View attachment 645554

Mmmm - not just half a glass of wine then?

This exactly what I mean. Do they think we are blind AND stupid?

 

[Midnightcowboy]

View attachment 645554

Mmmm - not just half a glass of wine then?

Any idea what the current drinking regs are in France?. I know they are considerably lower than in the UK....

 

[Jeeves]

Any idea what the current drinking regs are in France?. I know they are considerably lower than in the UK....

If you are driving a vehicle or riding a motorcycle in France please take note of the latest regulations:

• Alcohol limit: For drivers and riders that have less than three years of experience, the alcohol limit is 0.2 grams per litre. If you have more than three years' experience the limit is 0.5 grams per litre. Both are lower than the UK limit of 0.8 grams per litre.
• If you are a Chateau owner /tenant, of course the rules do not apply.

 

[FrenchGirl123]

Any idea what the current drinking regs are in France?. I know they are considerably lower than in the UK....

From the official French government website :

"The maximum permitted alcohol level is 0.5 g / l of blood (i.e. 0.25 mg / l of air)."

Alcool au volant

Alcool au volant : il est interdit de conduire avec un taux d'alcool dans le sang égal ou supérieur à 0,5 gramme.

www.service-public.fr

.

PS :

124 dislikes after only 13 hours for DIO latest vlog. Spiraling down.

 

[TheTaxInspector]

If Potty and Nic are part owners THEY should be there a 3rd of the time each also to manage the restoration too.

Where are Snotty Potty
And Nic the fool?
It’s enough to drive you potty,
Isn’t it ?
For they are nowhere to be seen
Too smart to appear on the screen
But you can bet your bottom dollar
That they’re quids in with the robber
Laughing all the way to the bank
At the gullible mats
They don’t even bother to thank.

 

[Le Comte de Monte Cristo]

The drunk driving Phil and Angelina were about to engage in is a horrible thing to watch. Anything could have happened. But even worse: they all just don’t care and feel no shame even being filmed doing it. SJ once killed a kitten by running over it, driving back to the shittoo after a party elsewhere.

I know that area..around Mayenne and Ernee....the local roads are quiete narrow and dark at night..with ditches on either side of the road..and people drive like crazy over there..you can drive 90 km an hour over those roads...

 

[Clara Burnett]

I know that area..around Mayenne and Ernee....the local roads are quiete narrow and dark at night..with ditches on either side of the road..and people drive like crazy over there..you can drive 90 km an hour over those roads...

SJ's kitten kill incident wasn't even on the road but on the property where the party was. She backed up the jaguar without looking and drove straight over the kitten, that had followed her to the car. She obviously hadn't even noticed the kitten before, because, you know, she's allergic.

 

[FrenchGirl123]

I know that area..around Mayenne and Ernee....the local roads are quiete narrow and dark at night..with ditches on either side of the road..and people drive like crazy over there..you can drive 90 km an hour over those roads...

Have you noticed how Chateau Life tried to answer the comments about them driving drunk ? They explain that Angelina drank "only" 1/2 glass of wine... forgetting to mention the beer she already had.

We can see her grabbing her already empty (it seems) can of beer at the beginning of the scene. MPK trying to explain that they already started to drink before the bottle of wine.

I guess they count on the fact that their US and UK viewers don't know the beer Desperados which is a French beer produced in Alsace.

But I give them the benefice of the doubt. As they will without any doubt say : it can be her husband's can...

 

[Espe]

And shame on the troll that approved of her daughter abusing a consecrated church like this!

IJ herself also took part in the mass Moonie "wedding" held in the chapel for her daughter's 40th birthday party, then had the gall to use it with a real priest for her own wedding blesssing when he priest was a member of the original owner's family. They have also held masses in there, one requested and paid for by a family who watched the vlogs. It may not have been re-consecrated until after the party use but it still seems very wrong to use it in that way. I am not religious myself but I can see that the use of the chapel for parties, a mock wedding, etc. is extremely disrespectful to the family who owned the chateau and the many who used it for its original purpose. I guess she may not have known about the guests who wandered in and took that photo but there are photos about the Moonie "wedding" she certainly arranged and Clara also says they had parties in the chapel with the food for the buffet on the altar! It proves how fake she is and that she is only acting when she pretends respect and gushes about the chapel, the window restoration, etc. I believe may of her fans, all over the world, and especially in the US, are religious and I hope they all see those photos and realise how deceitful that family is. The purpose of the whole place, the chateau and chapel, and also the money for "renovation" is solely to provide a pleasure palace. That's how she is spending other people's money; are they still happy for her to do this?

Spode Commodeware

I'm surprised no one has sent her any of those. Selmar could make a display shelf on the wall in the loo!

 

[Nina Rose]

I often have thought a cutting garden would have been a good addition most large country homes especially those with paying guest have one. Cheaper than purchasing fresh flowers or stealing them from the road side

There is one.

 

[Gibson]

Sadly, M Gibson, this would achieve the very opposite of your intentions! A Voltaire is a type of armchair found abundantly in brocantes!

So I could sit on one and read the other? Should I have not used his Nom de plume ?

If you are driving a vehicle or riding a motorcycle in France please take note of the latest regulations:

• Alcohol limit: For drivers and riders that have less than three years of experience, the alcohol limit is 0.2 grams per litre. If you have more than three years' experience the limit is 0.5 grams per litre. Both are lower than the UK limit of 0.8 grams per litre.
• If you are a Chateau owner /tenant, of course the rules do not apply.

They're flaming idiots anyway.