Plus it has the added advantage of being so very accurate given what Madame LaFlash has done to her…er…facade.I’d go with gargoyle. An underused word!
Christ if you are right it doesn’t say a lot about the standard of procedures from Harley Street clinics. Not a good advert at all. Maybe she had to go there for corrective procedures from previous back street bodges.This is a more realistic itinerary of Fanny's time in London.
Day 1 - Manicure, Dinner with Davy
Day 2 - Massimo Dutti & Plastic Surgeon's Office
In London it is a 10 minute walk from Massimo Dutti Oxford Street store to Harley Street. Fanny picked up her slacks and then spent the afternoon in the plastic surgeon's office.
Day 3 - Charity Shops
Day 4 - Shopping & Pick Up Yves Delorme sheets
Day 5 - Shopping, Hair appointment, Charity Event
Three star is pushing it. Burned food at any price is unacceptable. Ditto supermarket sous vide duck.Come to the holiday from hygiene Dump where you will enjoy
- Prison ration meals on lead laden plates
- drinking cheap boxed wine in leaden crystal
- being charged for a 3 star meal at a 5 star price
- the tension of unlocked guest rooms
- the one room on the ground floor of the Dump to fraternize under the stern gaze of Ñutty , who wil eavesdrop on your conversations, go thru your camera and delete any videos or photos of which she does not approve ( what a bonding experience among the guests).
- Ratso romancing your legs and “helping” to prepare your dinner
- Watching Steohanie fake gush over the mandatory $ 250 minimum gift to Fanny to be granted access to the Dump.
- playing the “who peed on the floor” game
- taking photos in front of the orange fence to memorialize your stay
- eating dinner with Stephanie for 15 minutes out of the scheduled three hours for dinner, as she rushes back and forth to film Marie.
- listening to Phillip detail his daily three hour routine he endures daily, in order to create the impression that he is not going bald
- playing a unique party game called, Who am I?, involving a person with a bag on their head doing charades to act out a Greek mythology character named after one of the deceased animals at the Dump.
- tepid water for your bathing and showering while toweling off with a slightly rank, old towel emblazon with a lopsided embroidered peacock
- Being awakened at night by the door of your room, opening and closing…… Stephanie will claim it was Henri, but we know it was really tipsy Phillip, how cute!
- Paying the extra €50 for the Stefanie send off. When you check out of the dump at noon, Stephanie will force herself out of her bed in her pajamas, and waved to you from the kitchen window as she is preparing herself a cup of tea and getting ready to start her day. Priceless memories.
Was Philip trying to dress like Dan the gardener when he & Stephanie went to London together at Christmas time a few years ago and had dinner at that fancy restaurant?
Was Philip trying to dress like Dan the gardener when he & Stephanie went to London together at Christmas time a few years ago and had dinner at that fancy restaurant?
Yet another cringy & creepy little getaway.
None of SJ’s trips are normal.
Weirdo.
Dan was wearing a brooch!
An FRK meal just isn't an FRK meal without beige chicken in brown sauce. Patreons are coming for the LaLande Character Luncheon Experience after all! Marie mustn't disappoint them!Trying to conjure how Marie will scam the Patreons out of their meat portions at the three-day extravaganza.
Isabelle's tried and true way is to get deli-sliced ham and distribute 10 ounces of it between 12 entree plates of green salad. Let's call it Jambon a la Stone Soup.
Dana and Kim's method, as I recall from the Easter buffet a couple of years ago, was Quiches a la Fromage Supermarche, and plenty of them. One of the quiches appeared to be made with sheep shit. Served side by side with the quiches, egg salad. Just to make the point there was going to be absolutely No Meat For You -- except some merguez sausages and saucissons, not enough to serve the crowd. All to be eaten with bread gripped bare-handed and sliced one at a time by each passerby, so each succeeding slice had more cooties on it. Among the fuck-you salads, supermarket cucumber and eight portions of caramelized onions on bread for 32 people, a theme here, let's call it Tartines d'Oignons à la Miracle des Pains et des Poissons, so festive.
Stuart's method was a pre-masticated beige/grey summer buffet of supermarket meat and veg, grey meat stingily sliced and stingily pre-portioned, vast salads of root vegetables and starches -- lentils, corn, potato, cabbage, pasta -- better suited to the ides of January. Call them Salade Trop Rustique a la Difficile à Mâcher. Also, a good trick, a cheese platter for 12 to serve 30. Call it Fromage Supermarche a la Chimera.
View attachment 2897027
I am looking forward to Marie's Hall of Fame dishes. Boiled pork turds. Red cabbage cut into 1 1/2 inch squares for a salad. So perfect, so grey, so unmasticatable, for July. Welcome Patreons to Stephanie Jarvis' menu, specially confected to let you know exactly how little she thinks of you. Bon appetit!
Fanny needs to hire caterers and tent- FULL STOP!! For 3 days?!? CheapAssB*tch!Especially with what they serve! Last year, Stuart gave a good primer on what to do.....make big bowls of different salads. Now, I thought the salads were whack, but the principle should be the same - and it looked way better than the one piece of thick packaged ham from the supermarket on lettuce leaves from the year before. Marie doesn't have to reinvent the wheel.
P.S. Someone asked why Stuart isn't doing it again this year. She's still at La Peetch with a full time job there as Hospitality Manager, living in Grasse.
Reminder of the paltry offering at the first Patreon day.Fanny needs to hire caterers and tent- FULL STOP!! For 3 days?!? CheapAssB*tch!
Did PP dab a bit of shoe polish in the middle of his mustache and under his lower lip? Or did he use a Sharpie?
Fanny will not know ‘ brown is NOT for town’ dress code for men but then again, man?Wearing that jacket, he's trying to look like a country gentleman, the lord of the estate. He is, however, completely unable to carry it off as he is so ungainly, so crass, and so ignorant.
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She should pay for a really excellent outside caterer to cook and serve two days' worth of excellent, typically French meals, in gratitude for the patrons who enable her to live as she does.
It fits right in with the circus atmosphere that is LieLande. Personally, I don't think the stupid patrons deserve anything better as they wouldn't appreciate a locally catered event anyway. You see how they dress, like they're going to a garage sale.An FRK meal just isn't an FRK meal without beige chicken in brown sauce. Patreons are coming for the LaLande Character Luncheon Experience after all! Marie mustn't disappoint them!
Hmmmm, let's see......Who wears it better ? View attachment 2896873
Again, Philip wearing somebody else's flayed skin. Or accent. Or leaden china.
You beat me too it!Tweed in London (“brown in town”) - an emphatic no.
Once a jumped-up prat, always a jumped-up prat.
Well I have news. Don’t tell me what to do is getting confident about her skills again.An FRK meal just isn't an FRK meal without beige chicken in brown sauce. Patreons are coming for the LaLande Character Luncheon Experience after all! Marie mustn't disappoint them!
Smoked salmon, beetroot and cream of horseradish is a thing! No potatoes - I think it’s sliced red and yellow beetroot, plus blobs of horseradish. It’s a rather good combo. (Quartered cooked beetroot covered with a mixture of crème fraîche and horseradish and then heated through in the oven is one of those things which might sound odd but is delicious. I am a huge fan of beetroot - beetroot slices, cheddar cheese and pickled red onion slices in really good granary bread make for a mighty fine sandwich!)Piers was humble bragging (again) and I could only see Marie... what is that? It does not look appetizing even though I love smoked salmon.. potatoes? Beets? Overkill? View attachment 2896696
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