The Chateau Diaries #259 PUDDLE- shallow like the Chatelaine & empty like her soul.

[ComtesseRose]

@KyBourbon

I wonder if Donegal has an aquarium where she could perform her drag show?


If not, would the château étang be big enough for her and Canadian Cara?

 

[mousepanda8]

This pateon day fail is very near Stephanies birthday - i wonder if by making it so close she is hoping that the patreons will bring gifts , preferably expensive ones

 

[Hemerocallis]

I am sure MariA will find some way to incorporate the peacock poo into her platting of lunch service.

Yes, you're right, she's already practising.
Snorts tries out which porcelain works best with the .

 

[mousepanda8]

Yes, you're right, she's already practising.
Snorts tries out which porcelain works best with the .

You are disgusting @Hemerocallis . Also that plate doesn't match at all! It needs to be a nice bright plate to make it all look petty and cheerful so it can match the tablecloth and flowers

 

[shatcho shiek]

I can see why support squrriel was so pleased to meet her the first time on vlog without filters itsض quite shocking. She's really turned into aged withered beyond years woman and he seen a very vain hedonistic old woman who would be easier to pick up and hes basically a hobosexually . Dan's right it's more like 50 or 60s. Twenty one years difference come on..

 

[On Repeat]

View attachment 2358194
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You've done it again, genius. Thank you.
---

The chapel garden/ forest edge before they ransacked it.
An improvement now?Definitely not. The soft lead up to the forest has been decimated for ever. That stupid Andy Pandy garden is incongruous and out of scale in area and height . Perhaps on patron day they could just dig holes and put their money in some?

The whole environment has been destroyed on the instructions of Stephanie Jarvis. Some trees did need to be thinned due to age and safety, but the "creation" of an artificial, ridiculous "cottage garden" in a park is absurd. Stephanie Jarvis is a city girl who is way out of her depth living in the country. She is doing exactly what a whole lot of urbanites do when they move to the country- bulldoze and destroy. The forest area and walks on her property to the stream are incredibly valuable- she is an absolute fool to destroy the natural beauty.

With the chapel nonsense, has it ever been discussed on camera the cost benefit of dismantling the chapel and re-building? It would be the same chapel but on solid foundations, same lead light windows, same interiors except for the paintings which would need re-doing. If she is gung-ho to destroy the natural environment why not destroy the chapel and re-build?

 

[brassy]

View attachment 2358346

I can see why support squrriel was so pleased to meet her the first time on vlog without filters itsض quite shocking. She's really turned into aged withered beyond years woman and he seen a very vain hedonistic old woman who would be easier to pick up and hes basically a hobosexually . Dan's right it's more like 50 or 60s. Twenty one years difference come on..

To be fair she has quite literally been slumming it for all those years living in squalor… This is the result of residing in a damp old crumbling freezing farmhouse, drinking heavily! Only difference now she has Snorts to dress her and make sure she washes, MariA to serve her the prison meals to line her stomach, and the Patrons to pay the hefty cosmetic surgery bills

 

[JackSpratt]

@KyBourbon
View attachment 2358306
I wonder if Donegal has an aquarium where she could perform her drag show?


If not, would the château étang be big enough for her and Canadian Cara?
View attachment 2358318

I've just choked on me Pain au chocolat seeing that picture of the ole Foufoune dunker, she'd have to get down low to reach the puddle. Slam dunk.

 

[TorontoGWM]

I'm hoping that the weather on Patreon day will be like the storm that Dan showed in his yurt vlog. Driving rain straight into the open barn they dined in last year.

What's the point of patron day this year I'd like it to pour down theres so much unfinished and unsafe zones to tour a garden that's not mature plants and not flowering this time of year plus not allowed to photo graph the channel 4 s allegedly finished project for 2023. All that's left for patron day is peacock poo lunch in the wood shed.

What are they going to show off…

The memorial for MM in the woods?
The white peacock?
The finished heating system?
The completed grand salon?
The repaired terrace?
The Nazi’s apartment?
Tacksy Fare’s apartment?

Those tits are going to have to be out and centre on Patreon Days to distract everyone from the reality that very little has been accomplished in the past year.

 

[On Repeat]

I've just choked on me Pain au chocolat seeing that picture of the ole Foufoune dunker, she'd have to get down low to reach the puddle. Slam dunk.

Jack- I just watched the chapel vlog and I couldn't catch the name of the town they visited to meet up with his parents. Do you know what it is called?

 

[shatcho shiek]

Fishermen always said the best way to catch fish by putting fish slurry in first.

 

[TorontoGWM]

On a positive note, hip waders and wellies will allow the Weed Arranger to extend foraging to the puddle.

You’ve heard of Farm to Table. The Pianist/Cook will be able to do Puddle to Table. Escargot, anyone? Frogs’ Legs?

 

[mousepanda8]

What are they going to show off…

The memorial for MM in the woods?
The white peacock?
The finished heating system?
The completed grand salon?
The repaired terrace?
The Nazi’s apartment?
Tacksy Fare’s apartment?

Those tits are going to have to be out and centre on Patreon Days to distract everyone from the reality that very little has been accomplished in the past year.

Don't worry the patreons are too engaged in the cult to know or care. There is a Facebook comment saying they have done so much this year but you cant see it all as some are for the BBC and some are just day to day repairs. I want to know what drug they are on as the delusion is bonkers

 

[TorontoGWM]

Patreon Days Schedule:

9-10 AM
The Chatelaine will be in the courtyard giving a guided tour of her new carryon.

10-12
Foraging with the Weed Arranger for the flower arrangements for lunch.

12-1
The Pianist/Cook will explain the menu.

1-1:05
Lunch

1:05- 4 PM
Digging out the lake - BYOS - bring your own shovel

4 - 5 PM
Shopping in the Twank’s shop

 

[Gertrude Maud]

You are disgusting @Hemerocallis . Also that plate doesn't match at all! It needs to be a nice bright plate to make it all look petty and cheerful so it can match the tablecloth and flowers

No more disgusting than Laura on Chateau Chronicles showing her tit all over the floor when her soil pipe cap flew off.
That was truly revolting.
---

What are they going to show off…

The memorial for MM in the woods?
The white peacock?
The finished heating system?
The completed grand salon?
The repaired terrace?
The Nazi’s apartment?
Tacksy Fare’s apartment?

Those tits are going to have to be out and centre on Patreon Days to distract everyone from the reality that very little has been accomplished in the past year.

Exposing her breasts in low cut dresses is her current modus operandi.

 

[C'est moi]

Thanks, as always, @ComtesseRose you are a rock star. Congrats @Patriciarella and @TorontoGWM for the name.

Just done a marathon catchup of the last thread. Everything has gone pear-shaped - himself has tested positive for covid, most inconvenient. To think we came through the pandemic proper, and all the lock-ins... I'm just a tad pissed off. And he's being as miserable as duck.

@Iolair said... Never heard the expression "dom-toms" before.

DOM-TOM (départements d'outre-mer et territoires d'outre-mer).
Now renamed
DROM-COM (départements et régions d'outre-mer et collectivités d'outre-mer)
The French lurve a 3 letter abbreviation wherever possible but they will forever be les dom-toms...

I missed all the action last night due to himself being a pain!

@KyBourbon I really didn't need fanny's tits on show three times! However, I think we should adopt this as the official linear measurement for lieland. Just as £50/€50/$50 is fanny's ceiling price... it's so lalande.

I can confirm it's bloody August here and the bloody tourists have arrived, in their droves, and are being a pain in the bloody arse hell bent on pissing off the locals. The number of accidents where the idiot drivers have wrapped their metal boxes around inanimate objects on the motorways and nationals bear witness to this.

It is incredibly windy, but not wet, and we are on the highest fire warning (probably because the bloody tourists have arrived). Because of the strong winds the beaches are inadvisable, unless you are an ancient monument and want to be sand blasted, and the sea is treacherous, the red flag has been up for days. Therefore the bloody tourists are bored and venturing into the hinterland to piss off the locals.

On the upside I splurged on some lovely, fluffy towels for the bathroom - Geant Casino were kind enough to give me a €15 bon when I visited the other day so I thought why not. They gave me another €15 bon this morning so I have another opportunity to splurge next week. Funny, you never hear fanny say that any shop has give her a bon!

 

[mousepanda8]

Patreon Days Schedule:

9-10 AM
The Chatelaine will be in the courtyard giving a guided tour of her new carryon.

10-12
Foraging with the Weed Arranger for the flower arrangements for lunch.

12-1
The Pianist/Cook will explain the menu.

1-1:05
Lunch

1:05- 4 PM
Digging out the lake - BYOS - bring your own shovel

4 - 5 PM
Shopping in the Twank’s shop

I guess that the actal content will be not much different from last years. A guided tour of the house with some long talks about saving the chapel and lake an how generous patrons allowed her to do this but she needs more money to do the rest, a tour of the forest,and garden with nick and the gardeners, Annalise hair sessions for some, Marie flower making. A piano session, some tit lunch that would feed a small child, a Q&A with stephanie herself and a photo session. Start at 10;30 ish and end at 4 - after a long hard day Steph will open all her pressies and have a long bath and drink the night away as the rest of the downstairs staff clean up and set up for tomorrow

 

[Gertrude Maud]

Thanks, as always, @ComtesseRose you are a rock star. Congrats @Patriciarella and @TorontoGWM for the name.

Just done a marathon catchup of the last thread. Everything has gone pear-shaped - himself has tested positive for covid, most inconvenient. To think we came through the pandemic proper, and all the lock-ins... I'm just a tad pissed off. And he's being as miserable as duck.

@Iolair said... Never heard the expression "dom-toms" before.

DOM-TOM (départements d'outre-mer et territoires d'outre-mer).
Now renamed
DROM-COM (départements et régions d'outre-mer et collectivités d'outre-mer)
The French lurve a 3 letter abbreviation wherever possible but they will forever be les dom-toms...

I missed all the action last night due to himself being a pain!

@KyBourbon I really didn't need fanny's tits on show three times! However, I think we should adopt this as the official linear measurement for lieland. Just as £50/€50/$50 is fanny's ceiling price... it's so lalande.

I can confirm it's bloody August here and the bloody tourists have arrived, in their droves, and are being a pain in the bloody arse hell bent on pissing off the locals. The number of accidents where the idiot drivers have wrapped their metal boxes around inanimate objects on the motorways and nationals bear witness to this.

It is incredibly windy, but not wet, and we are on the highest fire warning (probably because the bloody tourists have arrived). Because of the strong winds the beaches are inadvisable, unless you are an ancient monument and want to be sand blasted, and the sea is treacherous, the red flag has been up for days. Therefore the bloody tourists are bored and venturing into the hinterland to piss off the locals.

On the upside I splurged on some lovely, fluffy towels for the bathroom - Geant Casino were kind enough to give me a €15 bon when I visited the other day so I thought why not. They gave me another €15 bon this morning so I have another opportunity to splurge next week. Funny, you never hear fanny say that any shop has give her a bon!

View attachment 2358440

A big hug.
You sound like you need it.

 

[pasta_aldente]

If Snorts is allergic to Chicken, he may not want Peacock poo for same reason. Wonder if mummy Fanny carries an epipen?

 

[C'est moi]

A big hug.
You sound like you need it.

Thank you

For anyone living in a high tourist volume area you will understand it's a double edged sword. They arrive in their swarms and it's hoped they will support and spend money in the area they are visiting. Many don't, they bring EVERYTHING they need for their stay with them. Some are respectful and sympathetic to the locals and want to immerse themselves into la France Profonde. But most aren't. They're arseholes and they behave like arseholes.

As for himself and covid, we're vaccined up to the eyeballs so he'll weather the storm. He caught it from a client, so it would appear, and unfortunately he has passed it on to another client. When he's ill he's one of those people who has always got it worse than anyone else! From my perspective it's sounding like a dose of the flu. He still has his sense of smell and his sense of taste and an appetite so I'm thinking that's a positive. He's pissed off about not being able to work as this is THE month for business.

Never mind, we'll soldier on. I have my fluffy new towels and you lovely, wonderful tattlers to keep me amused. And no doubt fanny with commit another of many faux-pas to keep us busy.