The Chateau Diaries #258 Philip no-nuts would make a wonderful butler, elevated many things in the chateau

[KyBourbon]

Update 2023

1. THE BASICS - infrastructure to be habitable
1.1 Working heating - (new boilers installed and 3 new fire places added)

1.2 Water pressure? - No recent update - No works done
1.3 Hot water?
1.4 Windows - rotted, repainting throughout - Re painted some windows with shutters - not started in main part of chateau and bedrooms
1.5 Damp/mould problems especially back corridor - No recent update - no antifungals/ anti mold treatment done
1.6 Ceiling fix for recent leaks back corridor and kitchen - new ceiling in place - unsure if fixed original leak
1.7 Facade falling down - Claims to have sent planning permission to council to move some windows to match the old pre fire façade - allegedly sent in in late spring - waiting updates - Still no update summer 2023
1.8 Shutters at risk of falling down, some need replacement - currently have old shutters in attic of doom - Some shutters replaced in marque room - not started maintenance on main chateau shutters and windows
1.9 No roof contingency savings plan - Not spoken further about roof issues - no funding in place that we know of
1.10 Mouse infestation in kitchen. Bats and Owls have to be tolerated due to protected status.- Mouse infestation probably gone as Maria wouldn't tolerate - No formal pest control visits for kitchen or pantry - Annoying squirrel still in residence unfortunately
1.11 External stairs to gites, fire stairs - gites still in disrepair - no further plans for works at moment

2. WORKING AREAS (ie contribute to earning money) - practicalities for community living & BnB, Gites
2.1 Kitchen - working stove, suitable benchtops for food prep and storage (height and surface). SJ desired a new fridge and
stove. - New fridge in kitchen? no further work done - daddies titles were created by manor and maker but no plan to renovate. Cuz did some renovations on the back wash area

2.2 Downstairs Loo - Blue downstairs loo and daddies loo completed for ch4
2.3 Gites -
a) Natti's needs completion - Natti and cuz no longer in residence at the dump. Plans for furniture to be used to redo other rooms. No clear timeline for completion
upgrade Nic's & Marquis apartment - not mentioned further -
b) Gerry's to be built/completed - began on channel 4 - unsure on current status - Not currently any works being done
2.4 Peacock bedroom & wallpaper - due to grand salon issues - will have wall removed along side bon -mamon to have new bathroom and walls replaced - updated recently - may start October sometime
2.5 Locks on all bedroom and gite doors. - no update
NOTE: The pantry/wine cellar has one.


3. PUBLIC AREAS
3.1 Grand Salon - - Celling currently unstable due to bending beam - Plans are to replace beams with metal and remove French celling and remove wall from Bon mama and peacock bedroom to reduce weight on ceiling which will then be rebuilt with new bathroom each- and Anne will then place panneling. All due to start October once guests have left

3.2 Winter salon - library shelves - no update - recently polished floors
3.3 Petite salon - functioning- however desire to paint it purple - not painted and no mention of painting in the near future
3.4 Dining Room - still waiting for final curtain (16 years) and the tutorial (2 years) - Recently swapped Dining room and reception room - no new curtains
3.5 Patio area - stairs, wall, flooring/base - Currently crumbling and unstable - initially had plans to renovate - not recently mentioned - waiting on builders
3.6 The Chapel - Update from patreon last week - initially phase 1 - building structure and restoration of some paintings - Strep wanted to limit costs less than 150,00 current quote is 230,000 so remeeting to delay * non essential* works- then Stage 2 planned for later- meeting planned for this week so further update next week on patreon
3.7 Leisure area - the pool, swimming pond, - no plans made
3.8 Marquee salon - completed
3.9 - The LAKE - plans to restore 1000 aches and create new wetland - Final *4th* survey done and meeting with Davy and Planning people with captions next patron. - Now waiting to hire labourers for this - No set start date

4. PRIVATE AREAS
4.1 SJ bedroom/office/dressing - no renovation plans

4.2 China Pantry - no further work on initial china pantry but Nati's office now serves as a china pantry - unclear if original china pantry will be completed someday

4.3 Attic completion - one half strewn with junk - talk of turning it into a Billard room ( not recently shown on vlog - no updates) Billard table been renovated ad restored in Marquee room

5 - Outdoor space

5.1 Chapel garden stage 1 completed summer 2022 - stage 2 dug ou but not planted due to expected drought- grand planting in November and need to deweed part of garden

5.2 - plans for amphitheatre - no further plans

5.3 - Pavilion - started by davy and will have fountain - davy now away till novemeber

Thank you for updating the project status @mousepanda8 ! A few things completed…very few.

Can anyone think of any other projects Stephanie has “pitched” or mentioned in a video that haven’t been completed or ever spoken about again? (anything not listed, above?)

 

[Gertrude Maud]

I wouldn’t eat pork that underdone recipe for disaster. Similar to pink chicken.

'Apparently' pink pork is okay to eat if the juices run clear.
The only pork I enjoy is bacon . . . well cooked, crispy bacon.
---

The laundry room isn't looking too bad -- except when FRK's doing her bottle thing. It's in her most recent workshop flog.

View attachment 2346925View attachment 2346936View attachment 2346938

There's that yellow sundress hanging up to dry.
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Classic LaLande

They're attempting to make red wine vinegar.
As they like to remind everyone . . . they're so frugal.

 

[TorontoGWM]

Twank gets
Ecstatic
And reaches
Plural
Orgasms from
Things like pottery not p*ssy. Yeah, real straight!!

 

[ComtesseRose]

I'd love to imagine this is how they react to... less valuable gifts received for GAG.

 

[Fennelbug]

Oh man, that before pic is disgusting... filthy. Is that the standard she grew up with?

It drove Isabelle crazy- she must be out of her mind by now

 

[TorontoGWM]

No woman
And no set of boobs makes the Gay Twank
Pop a boner like a
Kind gift can of
Impeccable hydrangea
Napkins that remind him of his grandparents.

 

[mousepanda8]

Thank you for updating the project status @mousepanda8 ! A few things completed…very few.

Can anyone think of any other projects Stephanie has “pitched” or mentioned in a video that haven’t been completed or ever spoken about again? (anything not listed, above?)

Thé tennis court - currently being used for Dans cemetery for dying vehicles. Mentioned renovation recently on a vlog but no plans made

the pizza oven room- I think they got gifted a load of pizza stuff to make pizza couple summers ago and they wanted to make sure it was usable but I don’t remember anything being done

snorts shop of horrors - the website never premiered and was suppose to be open in person last patreon day. Not been seen in ages - I wonder if it is now the flower shop again

 

[Iolair]

Thank you for updating the project status @mousepanda8 ! A few things completed…very few.

Can anyone think of any other projects Stephanie has “pitched” or mentioned in a video that haven’t been completed or ever spoken about again? (anything not listed, above?)

Patreon Ambassador

 

[pasta_aldente]

Daddy Porn Tiles thankfully have not been completed/installed. Although they are threatening us with Snorts version

 

[mousepanda8]

Daddy Porn Tiles thankfully have not been completed/installed. Although they are threatening us with Snorts version

Please get me a big pint of cyanide to share if that happens ! Don’t worry there’s plenty to go around - I won’t let any of you suffer!

tbh I doubt it will happen anytime soon! M&M got all the plans ready for a whole wall of porn tiles and even found a company to make them but only got one tile made. I wonder why?

snorts will not be able to hand paint enough to fill a whole backsplash in time . It would take him till he’s 80 odd at the rate lie dump works.

Also if they got a new kitchen they would have no ability to feed any guests- which would be a blessing,and a curse so would be a out of season job whilst fanny is on holiday and minimal downstairs staff are in residence

 

[TorontoGWM]

What a perfectly fugly painting of the Chatelaine de Misappropriation! An entire washroom should be wallpapered in this.

 

[Karma baby!]

I'll be damned.. this was actually a nice vlog. I really enjoy sailing and this was my kind of content to watch.

I think they have completely given up on most of their reno plans. I won't be surprised if they sell the chateau in the next couple of years. What happens to all that tax free association money... who knows? Definitely not going to the long houses. what they are currently doing, like completing the facade, adding the gate, renovating more bedrooms... is just to add value to the property for resell imo.

@HalcyonOrganic 10/10 recommend watching this vlog to you.. for no specific reason........

 

[pasta_aldente]

I think the daddy porn tiles were a diversion. Vlog filler, coffer filler.

 

[mousepanda8]

What a perfectly fugly painting of the Chatelaine de Misappropriation! An entire washroom should be wallpapered in this.

View attachment 2347639

It would look great in that fire near the kitchen! Would keep everyone nice and warm- I would enjoy seeing it burn!

 

[Just Grift Wood]

I'll be damned.. this was actually a nice vlog. I really enjoy sailing and this was my kind of content to watch.

I think they have completely given up on most of their reno plans. I won't be surprised if they sell the chateau in the next couple of years. What happens to all that tax free association money... who knows? Definitely not going to the long houses. what they are currently doing, like completing the facade, adding the gate, renovating more bedrooms... is just to add value to the property for resell imo.

View attachment 2347624

@HalcyonOrganic 10/10 recommend watching this vlog to you.. for no specific reason........

They are so Smug-he is bored of the Chateau and has wander lust. All the self congratulating high 5's got a tad tedious
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@Lydia4Jesus_
2 hours ago (edited)
The girls will flourish with this new lifestyle. Now while you're young, it is the time to make such a leap. Lookimg forward to your new sailing vlog as soon as you wrap up at the château.

Sailing vlogs are my favorite. There are few château vlogs I follow. Wherever your journey leads you, I pray God Keep you under His Wings. Fair winds and calm seas.

Psalm 91 KJV




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@HowToRenovateAChateau

1 hour ago
Thank you so much

️

 

[Bleu Lala]

Correct, she doesn't have a business!!! She grifts money now as a business. The Shitoo is a glorified adult frat house - summer camp - think •Meatballs. She has a B&B to pay for the lights to stay on.

Uhm more like Porkey’s than Meatballs!!!
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What we don't know (and will never know of course) is how many of them go home disappointed.

I am convinced that the Dump is sour. There is no way that it smells good with all those dusty old fabrics, mouldy damp walls, dirty floors, stinky loos, musty second-hand furniture and the various animal droppings inside and out. I lived briefly in a huge farmhouse with bats in the attic rooms and their smell is horrific and spreads everywhere. Not to mention the questionable hygiene of the occupants themselves.

No matter how enamoured I may be with somebody, and how excited I may be to spend time with them, if their home smells it puts me right off. I am hoping that a few of the patrons will feel the same way after their visit, and that they will throw their rose tinted glasses in the moat on their way out.

I’m also wondering where are all the photos and videos that the B&B guests have taken? The guests should have been ceaselessly posting their trip to LaLaLande. Also, We all know if it’s not posted online it may as well not have happened. Has she put a blackout on social media, except her own, of course…

 

[Mr Magoo]

Nattie was a staple on the gift grab... and, without a mention she's done? Seems MariEEE will be the only one left once that volunteer leaves. Pity the poor daaaling.
But seriously wtf is up with this Micheal gift sending freak? Imagine the amounts of $$$ He has spent lavishing these presents!! Anyone know who he is? Really annoying with his theatrical words..

 

[Le Baiseur]

I'll be damned.. this was actually a nice vlog. I really enjoy sailing and this was my kind of content to watch.

I think they have completely given up on most of their reno plans. I won't be surprised if they sell the chateau in the next couple of years. What happens to all that tax free association money... who knows? Definitely not going to the long houses. what they are currently doing, like completing the facade, adding the gate, renovating more bedrooms... is just to add value to the property for resell imo.

View attachment 2347624

@HalcyonOrganic 10/10 recommend watching this vlog to you.. for no specific reason........

Dammit! I didn't want to like one of their vlogs, but it was great. Greek island hopping would be a fantastic vacation but there's no way in hell I'd get in the water. If you've seen the recent video of the Russian guy being attacked by a shark in an Egyptian resort, you'll know what I mean. Terrifying! I'd stay my ass on the boat!

BTW, has anyone seen "My Greek Odyssey" with Peter Maneas? (I watched on Amazon Prime) he's taking his yacht to as many Greek islands as he can and explores the local scenery, history, and food. Highly recommended.

 

[M&MsMom]

It is a thing in France. In the UK we were taught never to eat pork pink, undergone. Bizarre.

Also a thing here in the US, too. Old habits die hard, though, and I don't like it pink! I don't cook it as long as I used to, but I still don't want to see pink! Pork used to have to be cooked well done because of a parasite - can't remember which one, trichinosis maybe? - and that parasite has been eradicated in commercial farms.

 

[On Repeat]

Exactly. Wash, rinse, repeat.

Tomaz, a volunteer, fixed up the laundry room 3 years ago. He released his “before and after” LaLande laundry room video on August 31, 2020. It looked great…He did a really nice job…for FREE! What the hell is going on, Stephanie? How can a volunteer do this, but you can’t manage to get professionals to work on the rest of your heap?

View attachment 2346742

See, these photos show that the Jarvis family have always been filthy, this is many year's worth of filth. They have all accepted this way of living. When these photos were taken they were also hosting paying guests whose laundry was dealt with in this absolute shithole. Being clean and tidy costs nothing. That filthy laundry room is a reflection of their personas- they are just plain filth.