The Chateau Diaries #258 Philip no-nuts would make a wonderful butler, elevated many things in the chateau

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Blast From The Past:
These two posts reminded me of the state of the laundry room when Diesel decided to take a duvet apart. It was hilarious, and I remember that Mummy was not at all pleased when it was mentioned in CD.

Here is Selmar's vid for anyone who missed it:
That place is a disaster! Why hasn't she had the tile grouted? tit everywhere! Where do guests go?
 
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Go on vacation, screw the
Renos, get a sponsor to pay you as an
Influencer so your
Family can learn
To live for free in a chateau and not work.

IMG_3964.png
 
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Hello TL aunties and uncles!❤
Baby Potpourri wishes to say HI from the nice big crochet blankie his Texas nanna made for him!
He had a little photoshoot at Central Park near the Alice in Wonderland Statue today after brunch.
He was such a good boy today for not pooping until we got back home!:poop:
His grandpa is still not convinced that he needs a set of fine China, but he is bound to inherit the family ritual Kiddush cup and plate! :D
Thanks for all your warm and positive thoughts.

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Sorry for the derail. Thanks for the new thread, Auntie @ComtesseRose! Now back to Lalande!
Good work, Texas gran.
Now I have two heroes it makes me happy to think of enjoying life in Central Park. Flaco the Owl who escaped from the zoo after a lifetime of confinement. And Baby 'Rri. Toddlin' town.
 
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Just as a reminder, this is a list of all the projects Stephanie has mentioned, planned, or been working on at the Heap in the Middle of Nowhere.
Update 2023

1. THE BASICS - infrastructure to be habitable
1.1 Working heating - (new boilers installed and 3 new fire places added)

1.2 Water pressure? - No recent update - No works done
1.3 Hot water?
1.4 Windows - rotted, repainting throughout - Re painted some windows with shutters - not started in main part of chateau and bedrooms
1.5 Damp/mould problems especially back corridor - No recent update - no antifungals/ anti mold treatment done
1.6 Ceiling fix for recent leaks back corridor and kitchen - new ceiling in place - unsure if fixed original leak
1.7 Facade falling down - Claims to have sent planning permission to council to move some windows to match the old pre fire façade - allegedly sent in in late spring - waiting updates - Still no update summer 2023
1.8 Shutters at risk of falling down, some need replacement - currently have old shutters in attic of doom - Some shutters replaced in marque room - not started maintenance on main chateau shutters and windows
1.9 No roof contingency savings plan - Not spoken further about roof issues - no funding in place that we know of
1.10 Mouse infestation in kitchen. Bats and Owls have to be tolerated due to protected status.- Mouse infestation probably gone as Maria wouldn't tolerate - No formal pest control visits for kitchen or pantry - Annoying squirrel still in residence unfortunately
1.11 External stairs to gites, fire stairs - gites still in disrepair - no further plans for works at moment

2. WORKING AREAS (ie contribute to earning money) - practicalities for community living & BnB, Gites
2.1 Kitchen - working stove, suitable benchtops for food prep and storage (height and surface). SJ desired a new fridge and
stove. - New fridge in kitchen? no further work done - daddies titles were created by manor and maker but no plan to renovate. Cuz did some renovations on the back wash area

2.2 Downstairs Loo - Blue downstairs loo and daddies loo completed for ch4
2.3 Gites -
a) Natti's needs completion - Natti and cuz no longer in residence at the dump. Plans for furniture to be used to redo other rooms. No clear timeline for completion
upgrade Nic's & Marquis apartment - not mentioned further -
b) Gerry's to be built/completed - began on channel 4 - unsure on current status - Not currently any works being done
2.4 Peacock bedroom & wallpaper - due to grand salon issues - will have wall removed along side bon -mamon to have new bathroom and walls replaced - updated recently - may start October sometime
2.5 Locks on all bedroom and gite doors. - no update
NOTE: The pantry/wine cellar has one.


3. PUBLIC AREAS
3.1 Grand Salon - - Celling currently unstable due to bending beam - Plans are to replace beams with metal and remove French celling and remove wall from Bon mama and peacock bedroom to reduce weight on ceiling which will then be rebuilt with new bathroom each- and Anne will then place panneling. All due to start October once guests have left

3.2 Winter salon - library shelves - no update - recently polished floors
3.3 Petite salon - functioning- however desire to paint it purple - not painted and no mention of painting in the near future
3.4 Dining Room - still waiting for final curtain (16 years) and the tutorial (2 years) - Recently swapped Dining room and reception room - no new curtains
3.5 Patio area - stairs, wall, flooring/base - Currently crumbling and unstable - initially had plans to renovate - not recently mentioned - waiting on builders
3.6 The Chapel - Update from patreon last week - initially phase 1 - building structure and restoration of some paintings - Strep wanted to limit costs less than 150,00 current quote is 230,000 so remeeting to delay * non essential* works- then Stage 2 planned for later- meeting planned for this week so further update next week on patreon
3.7 Leisure area - the pool, swimming pond, - no plans made
3.8 Marquee salon - completed
3.9 - The LAKE - plans to restore 1000 aches and create new wetland - Final *4th* survey done and meeting with Davy and Planning people with captions next patron. - Now waiting to hire labourers for this - No set start date

4. PRIVATE AREAS
4.1 SJ bedroom/office/dressing - no renovation plans

4.2 China Pantry - no further work on initial china pantry but Nati's office now serves as a china pantry - unclear if original china pantry will be completed someday

4.3 Attic completion - one half strewn with junk - talk of turning it into a Billard room ( not recently shown on vlog - no updates) Billard table been renovated ad restored in Marquee room

5 - Outdoor space

5.1 Chapel garden stage 1 completed summer 2022 - stage 2 dug ou but not planted due to expected drought- grand planting in November and need to deweed part of garden

5.2 - plans for amphitheatre - no further plans

5.3 - Pavilion - started by davy and will have fountain - davy now away till novemeber
 
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I had not seriously thought of this possibility before. Can any of the tattlers with narc knowledge say whether this would be typical narc behaviour?
Narcs never quit. (The one in my life discharged himself from the hospital last week. The visiting hospice doctor walks into the house and tells him if you blow up at me I'm leaving -- after he's chased off all the nurses and health aides by screaming and telling them they're stupid.)
They make your life so miserable you quit.
If the exodus from the shitoo has begun, with Amaury and Nati, I'd have to see an end of relations with Dan, Davy and Nick the Tree before I see it here. Though I do think Jarvis is a narcissist.
Edited to add: I have to think MariA, as sensible and cultured as she is, might have some sort of employment issue if she's laboring on at Lalande. Also Pavlina.
 
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I believe Thrush's comment about the Bratz dolls was something along the lines of "how many jobs have they had" meaning that Barbie has been referenced in most careers. Well Thrush look in the mirror... how many jobs have you had? What is your career path? Where do you see yourself in 10 years? twit.
Is there a Ho Barbie?
 
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As a child, when asked what he wanted to be when he grows up, do you think he said he wanted to be in show business? This may not have gone down well with his conservative parents, but maybe his grandparents indulged his dressing up games and singing with his hairbrush into a mirror? He tried the boy band route, and the drama school productions, and the strange prison drama last year, none of which have been successful. He then landed the role of weird escort to a bargain basement, self proclaimed, princess. It was probably the only offer on the table at the time.

I think he is now doing what he always wanted to do: a permanent acting job. He gets bed and board, all the shopping he wants, his face :sick: online, travel, sex (allegedly), an income, free rein to dress however he wants, and the adoration of the unenlightened CD fans to stoke his ego.

From his parent's point of view: he is not a financial drain on them, he is out of the country (big plus I would imagine), he has had a steady job and his own 'home' for a few years now, he is not addicted to drink (debatable) or drugs (as far as we know).

Yes, we can see that he is an obnoxious person and maybe his days at the dump are numbered, but in the meantime he has a job he loves and the longer he stays the more ridiculous he makes SJ look - which can only be a good thing in my book.
Ohhhhh grrrrrrl. I dub you head of the Existentialist School of Lalande Scholars.
 
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I think it also says something about the guests.
Most of her guests will be patreon cult followers. - Strep's home is lovely and she can do no wrong! they are excited to go Bocante shopping and see the dump and see the renovations. If they weren't fully engaged by the cult they would see the dump and its occupants for what it is
 
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Good work, Texas gran.
Now I have two heroes it makes me happy to think of enjoying life in Central Park. Flaco the Owl who escaped from the zoo after a lifetime of confinement. And Baby 'Rri. Toddlin' town.
Oh, Flaco! NYers love Flaco!

There have been more sightings of Flaco the Owl in Central Park than Amaury the Cuz in Chateau Diaries!


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Update 2023

1. THE BASICS - infrastructure to be habitable
1.1 Working heating - (new boilers installed and 3 new fire places added)

1.2 Water pressure? - No recent update - No works done
1.3 Hot water?
1.4 Windows - rotted, repainting throughout - Re painted some windows with shutters - not started in main part of chateau and bedrooms
1.5 Damp/mould problems especially back corridor - No recent update - no antifungals/ anti mold treatment done
1.6 Ceiling fix for recent leaks back corridor and kitchen - new ceiling in place - unsure if fixed original leak
1.7 Facade falling down - Claims to have sent planning permission to council to move some windows to match the old pre fire façade - allegedly sent in in late spring - waiting updates - Still no update summer 2023
1.8 Shutters at risk of falling down, some need replacement - currently have old shutters in attic of doom - Some shutters replaced in marque room - not started maintenance on main chateau shutters and windows
1.9 No roof contingency savings plan - Not spoken further about roof issues - no funding in place that we know of
1.10 Mouse infestation in kitchen. Bats and Owls have to be tolerated due to protected status.- Mouse infestation probably gone as Maria wouldn't tolerate - No formal pest control visits for kitchen or pantry - Annoying squirrel still in residence unfortunately
1.11 External stairs to gites, fire stairs - gites still in disrepair - no further plans for works at moment

2. WORKING AREAS (ie contribute to earning money) - practicalities for community living & BnB, Gites
2.1 Kitchen - working stove, suitable benchtops for food prep and storage (height and surface). SJ desired a new fridge and
stove. - New fridge in kitchen? no further work done - daddies titles were created by manor and maker but no plan to renovate. Cuz did some renovations on the back wash area

2.2 Downstairs Loo - Blue downstairs loo and daddies loo completed for ch4
2.3 Gites -
a) Natti's needs completion - Natti and cuz no longer in residence at the dump. Plans for furniture to be used to redo other rooms. No clear timeline for completion
upgrade Nic's & Marquis apartment - not mentioned further -
b) Gerry's to be built/completed - began on channel 4 - unsure on current status - Not currently any works being done
2.4 Peacock bedroom & wallpaper - due to grand salon issues - will have wall removed along side bon -mamon to have new bathroom and walls replaced - updated recently - may start October sometime
2.5 Locks on all bedroom and gite doors. - no update
NOTE: The pantry/wine cellar has one.


3. PUBLIC AREAS
3.1 Grand Salon - - Celling currently unstable due to bending beam - Plans are to replace beams with metal and remove French celling and remove wall from Bon mama and peacock bedroom to reduce weight on ceiling which will then be rebuilt with new bathroom each- and Anne will then place panneling. All due to start October once guests have left

3.2 Winter salon - library shelves - no update - recently polished floors
3.3 Petite salon - functioning- however desire to paint it purple - not painted and no mention of painting in the near future
3.4 Dining Room - still waiting for final curtain (16 years) and the tutorial (2 years) - Recently swapped Dining room and reception room - no new curtains
3.5 Patio area - stairs, wall, flooring/base - Currently crumbling and unstable - initially had plans to renovate - not recently mentioned - waiting on builders
3.6 The Chapel - Update from patreon last week - initially phase 1 - building structure and restoration of some paintings - Strep wanted to limit costs less than 150,00 current quote is 230,000 so remeeting to delay * non essential* works- then Stage 2 planned for later- meeting planned for this week so further update next week on patreon
3.7 Leisure area - the pool, swimming pond, - no plans made
3.8 Marquee salon - completed
3.9 - The LAKE - plans to restore 1000 aches and create new wetland - Final *4th* survey done and meeting with Davy and Planning people with captions next patron. - Now waiting to hire labourers for this - No set start date

4. PRIVATE AREAS
4.1 SJ bedroom/office/dressing - no renovation plans

4.2 China Pantry - no further work on initial china pantry but Nati's office now serves as a china pantry - unclear if original china pantry will be completed someday

4.3 Attic completion - one half strewn with junk - talk of turning it into a Billard room ( not recently shown on vlog - no updates) Billard table been renovated ad restored in Marquee room

5 - Outdoor space

5.1 Chapel garden stage 1 completed summer 2022 - stage 2 dug ou but not planted due to expected drought- grand planting in November and need to deweed part of garden

5.2 - plans for amphitheatre - no further plans

5.3 - Pavilion - started by davy and will have fountain - davy now away till novemeber
Thank you for the checklist.
I'm obsessed with windows. If they repaired one a week they'd be done in like a year and a half. Amaury could be doing this. Budo is building magnificent windows OUT OF FORAGED LOCAL OAK and Amaury could be doing the same.
Here's a workshop of people gathered to learn how to do it while practicing on the 19th c windows of a Methodist summer cottage camp's community center. They could have one at Lalande.
It's all the rage. Except in Never Never Land.
@ittybittybungalow on IG, Tattle won't let me post his genius story on the antique window repair workshop he hosted.
 
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The yacht adventure... Philip always says "it's not my fault... it's (insert anyone)'s fault... that's your fault" etc. Notice his daughter was blaming her mum for dropping the anchor... Someone has to take fault.. Philip thinks he's funny, but his girls are now parroting him...
 
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YouTube
And Patreon
Can get you a chateau for a
Home and a yacht for pleasure and
Teach your children how to grift.
 
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Most of her guests will be patreon cult followers. - Strep's home is lovely and she can do no wrong! they are excited to go Bocante shopping and see the dump and see the renovations. If they weren't fully engaged by the cult they would see the dump and its occupants for what it is
What we don't know (and will never know of course) is how many of them go home disappointed.

I am convinced that the Dump is sour. There is no way that it smells good with all those dusty old fabrics, mouldy damp walls, dirty floors, stinky loos, musty second-hand furniture and the various animal droppings inside and out. I lived briefly in a huge farmhouse with bats in the attic rooms and their smell is horrific and spreads everywhere. Not to mention the questionable hygiene of the occupants themselves.

No matter how enamoured I may be with somebody, and how excited I may be to spend time with them, if their home smells it puts me right off. I am hoping that a few of the patrons will feel the same way after their visit, and that they will throw their rose tinted glasses in the moat on their way out.
 
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Avert your eyes during today's gift grab unless you want to see a grown-ass man orgasmic over a Russian teapot. Would love to see Amanda from Our French Chateau caption this one!
 
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