The Chateau Diaries #257 Fanny has gone from vague to shifty, Snorty went from intern to burying bodies

[Granola Chic]

My theory is when boobs get hit by gravity and look like wet socks filled with sand,they should not be on display!

Camilla's sugar tits vs. SJ's saggy tits

Ollie once again picked wisely...

 

[Iolair]

Imagine Tattle ladies, for just a moment, that your husband's closest male friend bought you an off the shoulder dress.

A tad creepy in itself, wouldn't your husband have something to say about it? I asked my husband how he'd feel and he said that he'd have some serious questions to put to his friend about it... but not if his best mate was gay.

So anyway, Snorty bought Marie a dress.

 

[Jules100]

I bought this shirt last week. I thought it would look cute with white shorts and it does, but for some reason, I might be having second thoughts now…

 

[Spirit of place]

How the mind wanders when the content stalls ! Like @Graciemiekitten I've drawn up a list but moved on to their mothers out of boredom.
SOO..here goes..on a sliding scale -
1) surprisingly Camilla's mum, different in every way from her daughters, unpretentious, going along with Ollie's madcap ideas, playing with grandaughter etc;
2)Sara's mum, interested in everything she saw, good at sewing, helping Sara out with her projects - a nice mother/daughter relationship.
3) Selmar's mum, affectionate but independent & living (or was) her best life in a cottage decorated with her own artwork & her little dog.
3) Tatinette, yes I like her, warm-hearted, good cook, and loyal to her family & probably more maternal to her niece than Isabel. Take out the probably bc she confirmed it.
4) Ma Petherick - whatever else she may be, she staunchly defends Michael, even to pretend he was in a relationship with Fanny, ferrying him about, looking after Olivia, knows about gardening/horses/cooks.
5)Marie's mum, young, attractive with a new family, still there in a minimal way for her daughter?
6) Natti's mum - descended on Lalande, probably had work done, sexy clothes, looking younger than her daughter & fully expecting to be caught in the camera lens.
Snort's mum, never, ever shown in vlogs though we have seen her, more or less the same age as his 'girl friend', and we have seen her trousers, so there
Isabel, what to say, mother by accident rather than choice and always found it irritating rather than fulfilling.
AMEN
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@Jules -re shirt - there's no denying GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE just remember that natty French tuck like the Maistro.

 

[Kickintheass]

Definition of saggy tits... can you place and keep a coin between a boob and rib below.

 

[Lochness Monster]

Fanny vlogged tidying the peacock..corner cabinet . Already refilled with booze. The
window cill is crammed with Snorts auction junk and books piled high on the floor, and I guess a parcel containing another dress for Fanny.It looks as if Natty has a tidy work space.
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Definition of saggy tits... can you place and keep a coin between a boob and rib below.

And do they clap at night

 

[Pyke]

I wish we could have an update on Lincrusta and the chateau wallpaper, that was weeks ago Teabag pitched up in London with his sample.
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Have any Tattlers bothered to watch this, I switched off 5 seconds in, Ed does my head in.

 

[KyBourbon]

I wish we could have an update on Lincrusta and the chateau wallpaper, that was weeks ago Teabag pitched up in London with his sample.

Teabag is a dick tease. Gets us all excited and worked up…then leaves us hanging.

 

[billybudd]

Few thoughts on today’s video:

Is Khillip anatomically built like a plastic Ken doll in his nether regions “and that is why he can wear his mother’s tight trousers? Not much to tuck?

Stephanie getting rid of decades of old dresses that no longer fit, she is such a humanitarian. The ones gifted to Marie were generally not flattering. I believe that was an intentional move on F4F’s behalf. They really need to gift Marie some structured undergarments.

Why is Marie, who is paying rent, blasting tit off the walls in the pizza oven room while the Douche Lorde online shops and Stephanfraudie complains that she doesn’t have time for a nice, long, warm bath and book, while filming a paid advertisement for a facial device? Adding insult to injury, Marie has to perform for the camera to provide content for Stephanie Jarvis to make more money?

Stephanie seems rather dismissive or snobbish towards Pavlina’s tea making project. I bet F4F won’t touch a cup of Pavlina’s teas unless it is filmed for the grift videos. Stephanie won’t drink the tea, but sInce it is free, she will serve it to the 3 Patrons that show up next week for the extravaganza.

Why would any sponsor want to pay Stephanie Jarvis, who has told literally hundreds of lies, to gush about how wonderful and transformative their products are? She has 0 credibility. If she opens her mouth, 99% of what she spews are lies? She has also clearly undergone chemical peels, Botox, and has fillers injected in her face. The “ facial” isn’t responsible for any of her embalmed facial look she loves sporting.

F4F could not look more bored when Davy was explaining the pond. I love how she still insists on verbally upgrading the “pond” to a “lake.”

She seemed repulsed by the yellow “ alien” flowers planted in her English garden. Does she ever review any plans before they are implemented? Idiot.

She has now dumped the entire pond project on Davy. She truly is a useless, lazy piece of tit ( as are the other 2 co-owners of the Dump.)

Marie, do not come back to the Dump next year. It is not worth dealing with all the crazy LieLande drama, cheapness, being “monitored” by the Douche Lorde, and being chased around by the little orphan princess and her little pink camera grasped in her man hand paw. You deserve better in life and your friend Amaury probably will be gone by next spring.

Marie is at the point where she has to visibly try to restrain her feelings of disgust, aggravation, and impatience with the gruesome twosome.

Has Amaury fallen in the moat? Where is he?

I love how Nutty is trying to be so low key. Spotting her in a video is like solving a “ Where’s Waldo” puzzle.

F4F is spending tens of thousands of dollars on new dresses, etc. It will be great in a couple more years, when hormones cause her weight to shift and none of the clothes will fit. I guess Khillip or Emmaus will be the beneficiary of the designer clothing at that time. Maybe that is why PhiPhi is so interested in selecting the clothes Fanny purchases.

Stephanie has become so fraudulent and lazy that she doesn’t even bother to pretend they are doing restoration projects at the Dump. She just half asses it through video after video to waste time until her 4 month Christmas/winter vacations begin.

Why does Marie purchase the majority of flowers used in the Dump decorating schemes? Fanny has the most expensive vegetable and flower gardens in rural France but they spend hundreds of dollars a month purchasing flowers from outside the Dump.

Stephanie doesn't like Pavlina's tea for the same reason she treats the Lalacelles like dogshit on her shoe.
Off brand.

 

[Sunnee]

What sort of Ken Doll is this?
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This Ken doll has allergies
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This Ken Doll
Is insufferable

Just a cheap counterfeit.

 

[Freesia54]

Out? They’re practically free range.

 

[Hedda Hopper]

Question: If you had a choice to eat lunch/ have a beer with one or some of the Dump crew and wanted to have a pleasant experience, who would you choose to dine with? I think Nick the tree guy would be cool and interesting, Maria could be fun, she is witty, intelligent, and can hold a conversation, Davy would be pleasant and wouldn’t say anything offensive, Pavlina wouldn’t be offensive, Annalise would be nice, Amaury’s parent seem like they would be pleasant lunch companions, Potts could fake his way through a pleasant lunch, Dana would be friendly Kirsty would be nice ( but only without her partner), etc.

I would invite the 2 puffs because they would bring a generous lunch to eat so you wouldn’t have to rely on the Dump prison rations. Of course, dining with Vivienne and her husband would be a no brainer. They are gracious hosts. Ollie can behave himself for a lunch so I think he would be pleasant company. I would be a little hesitant to invite Camille only because she may only allow you to smell the food and send it back without eating it so you wouldn’t become fat.

I’m on the fence as to whether Dan or Amaury would be pleasant lunch company, what do you think?
Would I invite Tess or just her baby doll? I don’t know.
I would eat lunch with Mrs. Shrek as long as she didn’t invite her Steph obsessed hubby to the lunch.
No lunch with Percy because it would be too Weekend at Bernie’s and he shouldn’t be driving anywhere anyways.

If I wanted a pleasant lunch, I would avoid the gruesome twosome, Nuttty ( she would be sullen, uptight, nd make you “broom” the floor fter lunch), Marie, Mummy, Gerry, and Baghead.

I would bring some high quality cat food and feed Ruby and keep him company while he dines. I think he would be a fabulous lunch
companion.

Who would be on your list?
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I think she does outsource them but lies about it and claims she does it herself.
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All she has to do is ask Potts, the tech wiz or her specially assigned YouTube consultant. Fanny is lying her ass off as usual. She is so full of tit.

I would have lunch with Ruby and the sheep. I think they would defo be the most pleasant and interesting dining partners. Actually, I would dine with Sarah. I have a background in textiles and clothing manufacturing so I think we would have a lot to talk about.

 

[Freesia54]

View attachment 2337070

Is Stephanie Jarvis breast feeding Philip Janssen??? Or, is she preparing to be a wet nurse???

View attachment 2337062

They're not even the same colour as her chest..white lines not a good look, maybe Little Greene can help her out.

 

[billybudd]

View attachment 2337070

Is Stephanie Jarvis breast feeding Philip Janssen??? Or, is she preparing to be a wet nurse???

View attachment 2337062

I too perceive an enlargement. Were I a betting man, I'd wager on enlargement and a lift. She really has been swinging them around more than usual lately.

 

[Hedda Hopper]

All this talk of Fanny's boobs, I thought I'd share my boob story from today.
Hubby and I went shopping today and I found some nice bras on sale for only $9 each. I need new bras after my recent weight loss. I asked hubby if he was up to helping me in the fitting room (broken arm and all). I picked out a few to try on, but got confused and picked bras in my old size. We had a good laugh in the fitting room as they were so big. He offered to go get smaller ones so I wouldn't have to get dressed again. He had to go out twice as we had started with DD, then tried D and ended up with a C cup!
The poor guy said he did get a few looks going thru the sales rack but he didn't care. We even had a giggle remembering making out in a fitting room when we were dating.

I hate bra shopping. I finally started using a fitter to help me. What a difference!

 

[JackSpratt]

Definition of saggy tits... can you place and keep a coin between a boob and rib below.

Or this........

or

 

[Spirit of place]

Can we stretch the dining experience with a chateau member to following Snorts to a Brocante? My companions would be Olly for laughs & Maria for her scathing remarks. What fun we would have sniggering behind pillars & imitating him as he minced around. I've never seen either of them remotely interested in tat.

 

[billybudd]

View attachment 2337070

Is Stephanie Jarvis breast feeding Philip Janssen??? Or, is she preparing to be a wet nurse???

View attachment 2337062

Yeah, this is pretty much the show and tell of all the work she's had done. Something has happened to her eyelids, via Botox brow lift or whatever. Said brows a good two inches higher than two years ago. There are, I'd argue, lip fillers. And something is making her nose hook as it did not before. The diagonal dent across her right cheek is telling us a story for any scholar of plastic surgery to spell out. Not the same face we started out with, and nor the same boobs.
Curious she hasn't bought Pheeph any hair yet and still queries him like Torquemada on what he spent at Emmaus.
Why uplift the chateau ceilings when Stephanie Jarvis' breasts are so much more important?

 

[JackSpratt]

I wish we could have an update on Lincrusta and the chateau wallpaper, that was weeks ago Teabag pitched up in London with his sample.
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Have any Tattlers bothered to watch this, I switched off 5 seconds in, Ed does my head in.

Nah, I switched off too after about 10

 

[pasta_aldente]

I think Pauvlina's teas will be for sale for Patreon Day. Fanny doesn't drink it since it isn't proper British: Yorkshire Gold, Fortnum & Mason. Etc. Marie will do a foraging sesh. Can't really see much of the shitoo so they will have to improvise. Aw just like last year.