The Chateau Diaries #245 Mummy, new look; Phi Phi, new pants; Ruthie, new novel - stranger than fiction!

[babyrocks]

Her vlog has now been rescheduled to 30th June

Edit: The other one is still showing. I'm not sure how you can have a second premiere, thirty days after the first, but we'll have to be patient and see if they sort it out.

She said the other one was just a trailer for the one today but I guess she did not realize it was dated for June30. It should have been for May 30 before todays premiere.

 

[T Rex]

Hello my lovely Tartlets, Tartgents, hags and flying monkeys. I have yet to catch up on any of the vlogs for the past few days due to being busy- boating, beaches, house work, social events with friends, volunteer work, and the yard. I even missed the Fleuries' Sunday vlog! (I also got a really good deal on 8X BBW 3-wick candles for $80 with free-shipping on this weekend, so I will not be purchasing and reviewing any Fleurie candles any time soon!)

Since we have a LOT of landscaping and a lush green lawn, we have to mow every three days, and are constantly pulling weeds, trimming trees and hedges, etc. We have learned that is is easier to maintain when you are always on top of it. Give me the team of 3 gardeners at LaLande, and that place would be sorted in 2 days. Since we have a front in the gulf right now that is supposed to bring torrential rain this week, I ended helping helping my neighbour as well by edging along her sidewalk (and the neighbour next to her, as his lawn service does a terrible job), trimmed the landscaping and mowed. My mower (which Mr. T Rex has recently tuned up and put a new blade on) randomly "blew up" (an explosion of oil everywhere- luckily, it was far enough from the house that my shirt was the only casualty.) Since the radar showed my time was limited, once it cooled down, I took everything apart, cleaned it, and discovered one of the bolts that connected the upper and lower engine housing units was missing. I dug through my workshop and found a suitable sub of the same thread pattern and length. (It's a different metal, though, so this is a temporary repair- galvanic corrosion from dissimilar metals is real.) Reassembled, checked the oil, and finished mowing in time. I was just happy that A) it wasn't a seal, B) I regularly service my equipment myself, so troubleshooting was pretty simple, C) I was able to find a bolt in my stockpile that fit, and D) get the lawn sorted before all of the rain (St. Augustine is a beast to cut if you let it go for a week.)

Mr. T Rex, while the obvious suspect, denies any charges. Since he brought me an offering of Miller Lite, and worked really hard on other home projects today, I let it go. Plus, it did cement my "cool girl" status amongst the neighbours that were outside when it occurred. "WOW! T Rex! That mower is toast! Can Mr. T Rex fix it?" "That's cute- I can have this thing torn down and stripped with my OWN hands faster than you can get a pedicure. Bless your hearts!" Flashed them the "deuces" sign when I had it up and running again.

Since the remainder of the week is supposed to be rainy and shite, I will do my due diligence to return to read the remaining 59% of Ruthy's "Villa" for you filthy lot, and give you the cliff notes version.

Fanny, if you are reading this- do yourself a favour- cease from purchasing ANY additional plants until you get a proper watering system, an actual Master Gardener (not Davy, who is your "Plant Dealer" pal) who devises a comprehensive task list for the other gardeners to deal with your current "Fanny's Folly of Foliage" (who are right now just winging it), and get those weeds under control.

 

[Iolair]

Hello my lovely Tartlets, Tartgents, hags and flying monkeys. I have yet to catch up on any of the vlogs for the past few days due to being busy- boating, beaches, house work, social events with friends, volunteer work, and the yard. I even missed the Fleuries' Sunday vlog! (I also got a really good deal on 8X BBW 3-wick candles for $80 with free-shipping on this weekend, so I will not be purchasing and reviewing any Fleurie candles any time soon!)

Since we have a LOT of landscaping and a lush green lawn, we have to mow every three days, and are constantly pulling weeds, trimming trees and hedges, etc. We have learned that is is easier to maintain when you are always on top of it. Give me the team of 3 gardeners at LaLande, and that place would be sorted in 2 days. Since we have a front in the gulf right now that is supposed to bring torrential rain this week, I ended helping helping my neighbour as well by edging along her sidewalk (and the neighbour next to her, as his lawn service does a terrible job), trimmed the landscaping and mowed. My mower (which Mr. T Rex has recently tuned up and put a new blade on) randomly "blew up" (an explosion of oil everywhere- luckily, it was far enough from the house that my shirt was the only casualty.) Since the radar showed my time was limited, once it cooled down, I took everything apart, cleaned it, and discovered one of the bolts that connected the upper and lower engine housing units was missing. I dug through my workshop and found a suitable sub of the same thread pattern and length. (It's a different metal, though, so this is a temporary repair- galvanic corrosion from dissimilar metals is real.) Reassembled, checked the oil, and finished mowing in time. I was just happy that A) it wasn't a seal, B) I regularly service my equipment myself, so troubleshooting was pretty simple, C) I was able to find a bolt in my stockpile that fit, and D) get the lawn sorted before all of the rain (St. Augustine is a beast to cut if you let it go for a week.)

Mr. T Rex, while the obvious suspect, denies any charges. Since he brought me an offering of Miller Lite, and worked really hard on other home projects today, I let it go. Plus, it did cement my "cool girl" status amongst the neighbours that were outside when it occurred. "WOW! T Rex! That mower is toast! Can Mr. T Rex fix it?" "That's cute- I can have this thing torn down and stripped with my OWN hands faster than you can get a pedicure. Bless your hearts!" Flashed them the "deuces" sign when I had it up and running again.

Since the remainder of the week is supposed to be rainy and shite, I will do my due diligence to return to read the remaining 59% of Ruthy's "Villa" for you filthy lot, and give you the cliff notes version.

Fanny, if you are reading this- do yourself a favour- cease from purchasing ANY additional plants until you get a proper watering system, an actual Master Gardener (not Davy, who is your "Plant Dealer" pal) who devises a comprehensive task list for the other gardeners to deal with your current "Fanny's Folly of Foliage" (who are right now just winging it), and get those weeds under control.

You're a goddess! I'm awed by your mechanical excellence!

 

[MadameChat]

Jason Dubey is a sycophant.

Maybe he’s a psychopath and he actually wants her eyes it was a creepy thing to say

 

[Imperious Me]

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Dennis Patrick
3 minutes ago
Loved the subtle hand slap towards your daughter as she went for a treat.

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Uta Meier
43 minutes ago
Sorry, but Hideous Otherwise charmed by your reveals.

Yeah Ollie, there's a very good reason why there's only one... Not to be catty, but on FB sewing groups some of the fabrics people choose and I say to myself ' there's a reason you can't find that in the shops'..

 

[Gertrude Maud]

I took everything apart, cleaned it, and discovered one of the bolts that connected the upper and lower engine housing units was missing. I dug through my workshop and found a suitable sub of the same thread pattern and length. (It's a different metal, though, so this is a temporary repair- galvanic corrosion from dissimilar metals is real.) Reassembled, checked the oil, and finished mowing in time. I was just happy that A) it wasn't a seal, B) I regularly service my equipment myself, so troubleshooting was pretty simple, C) I was able to find a bolt in my stockpile that fit, and D) get the lawn sorted

I'm impressed!

 

[MadameChat]

Hello and welcome.... ( I sound like David Frost) only a few will remember him... any way I spent some of the bank holiday in Lancashire and the weather was glorious... I've even got a watch strap mark on my arm... maybe you should move up north, we must be nearer to the sun

I remember him when he was funny before he became the serious in-depth interviewer, that’s how old I am

 

[suthern_lurker]

Just dump Snorty! Boatman, goatman or the gardner she flirted with today are all improvements because they shave their neck.

Yes, edit HIM out!!!
apparently they are meant for each other....
Like a relationship of convenience...
No commitment there.
It’s so obvious.
I guess it’s the ole different strokes for different folks!

Can’t believe I just said that....
Threw up a little in my mouth!

 

[M&MsMom]

You would be most welcome. . I especially love plants with scent that carries on the air ….eleagnus quicksilver this week, and a beautiful apricot climbing rose. I like to cut them and place in a vase on the breakfast table making a lovely greeting in the morning.

This sounds poetic… my life is so stressful I need escapes. My ill husband dropped one of his meds on the floor and the dog got it…..thankfully he is such a good doggy he dropped it, probably was bitter too IDK. Just one of the many challenges!
Watching Fanny butcher the show gardens at Chelsea.
Blasphemy.
Trite commentary.

I love scented plants, too! This year, I am missing my favorite....a Honeysuckle 'Goldflame'. I had it trained on a fence, where it's been for 20 years. Early in Spring, the fence had to be taken down and replaced (it was 27 years old and past its prime, but I always looked the other way, because I didn't want to lose my honeysuckle!), so I hacked the honeysuckle down to the ground and said I'd just plant another one. Well, this past week, I went into the area where the new fence is, planted a few perennials and some cosmos and decided I rather liked the clean look of the fence, so decided not to replace the honeysuckle, even though I miss the scent and the hummingbirds that flocked to it! My husband agreed. This morning, I went out to water and saw two long strands of what I thought were weeds - but they're the honeysuckle!! I had one stump of the honeysuckle left in the ground, too, and suddenly there are all sorts of shoots coming off of it!

Mother nature has different ideas......I now can't wait for my honeysuckle to bloom! I'm just going to do a better job of containing it and making sure I thin it out every year, something I wasn't doing regularly.

ETA: So glad that your dog dropped the pill! You don't need even more things to worry about!

 

[OhIDontKnow...]

Patreon video is out and Fanny has gone a bit crazy - it's over an hour long. The entire vlog appears to be just Fanny & Mummy touring the gardens. Suspect it will take Karma Baby some time to upload.

At first glance not sure Mummy is excited by updates in Isabelle's Garden - her words are "Mon Dieu, it's not my garden".

Fanny clearly learned nothing at the CFS because she still can't identify many of the flowers or veggies and has no idea what's been planted. Fanny really doesn't give a Flying F*ck about the gardens - its all just a game for vlog content.

I can’t believe she just let it roll with her mother. It was illuminating. The mask slipped many times on both of them. I can’t believe she didn’t edit it. Very interesting. I’d almost swear Isabelle is a posting Tattler, not just a lurker.

 

[T Rex]

You're a goddess! I'm awed by your mechanical excellence!

Aww, thank you for the kind words! True story- when I went to uni, I could barely boil water let alone do my own laundry. Something about being a "helpless female" did not appeal to me- I was kind of embarrassed by being so "ignorant", so made it my mission to learn everything I could to be more independent. It has been a series of fails and successes, and while I became an Electrical Engineer by trade, I began dabbling in mechanical things when Mr. T Rex purchased our first diesel sailboat (that old Volvo engine was a beast), and our first home (aircon- usually, it is a capacitor, right? I can figure those out all day, but the stupid fan motors also die. And our washing machine- vice spending a song for a new front loader- I watched a YT video which helped my determine what was going on and how to remedy it, ordered a 25 quid bearing kit from Amazon, replaced it, disassembled/re-assembled the entire thing (because might as well do a deep clean when it is apart) and BOOM! Like new!) Unfortunately, we live in a society where people are so quick to toss out things that can be saved into the landfill.

I do have to chuckle at Fanny (not just because- who buys a derelict "Chateau" and never learns to use a single tool, let alone have an actual proper plan to restore it) at purchasing Mummy (copyright by @Pekey!) a Mercedes convertible from Tatinette. Let me tell you about the joys of owning a Mercedes. I own a Benz, I love it, but I have an SUV (my convertible Grandma Sunday driver is a BMW Z4- which gets serviced locally because the nearest BMW dealership is trash.) When the Benz needs maintenance or has a recall, I call my service guy in Tampa (from where I purchased it), he sends someone down to retrieve it with a loaner Benz (sadly, even people in Fort Myers and Naples do so as well, which says a lot about their local dealerships when one is having the guys from Tampa come down to retrieve it), and they whisk your car back to the dealership for the needed maintenance. It has not even been a year, nor have I put on even 1K miles and now "Service B5" is due. (The fun part is that is triggers the "Check Engine" light.) SMH. It's cute how an oil change and checking fluids turns into a $1K bill overnight (even if I actually drove it to Tampa myself and watched the process take place, the price would be the same.) At the end of the day, while Mercedes makes good vehicles and has exceptional service, it's a never-ending maintenance cycle- and you have to keep up on it, which is not cheap. In our fleet, the most reliable and economic vehicle we own is our Nissan Frontier pickup truck- man, we've abused the hell out of that thing, towed things that exceeded the towing capability, filled the bed with far too much crap, and after 10 years, has never had an issue. I would NEVER gift anyone a Mercedes- even if it was free, as that "Check Engine" light would always be on! "Service A due" "Service B due" "Service LMNOP due"

 

[lyna]

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The Secrets of the Chelsea Flower Show 2023
(trailer)
Stephen A .Brown
55 minutes ago
Very disappointed with the video
Native Texan
1 hour ago
WTF was that minute and 26 seconds of teasing for what??? This is crap!
just Naomi
1 hour ago
Uh wth


Sindy Simms
2 hours ago
This is scheduled for June?
REPLY
The Chateau Diaries
1 hour ago
It was definitely an error - thanks so much for letting me know! It's been resolved now x
REPLY
just Naomi
1 hour ago
What was the point of this?

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WAIT!!! WHAT HAPPENED!!!
SPILL THE TEA BEOOOOOOTCHES!!!!!!!
AND the coffee!!! This sounds good!!!!

 

[Lady Di]

Everything was better before Philip

Suggesting this for the next thread title!
---

Suggestion - Everything was better before Philip

Sorry-- didn't see this response before I posted!

 

[MRShavershamsdress]

As it is now June 1st in my little corner of the planet, Happy Pride to all our LGBTQPA brethren and sisthern on tattle as well as the allied community!

 

[NotAChatelaine]

I watched the Lake Garda vlog. OMG, how awful can she get? She looked and acted like a clown. She is in completely the wrong role in a travel vlog with that over-excited voice and ridiculous giggling. There is also a very strange mix of different styles of background music and Mozart's clarinet adagio was sullied by having Fanny prancing about in her awful mini dress! The Italian woman was clearly a completely different class from Fanny, with an under-stated elegance and natural manner. She spoke English well and clearly, so goodness knows why they had to put in a sub-text just when she was speaking; it's really needed more when Fanny is gabbling away! I think Camilla has definitely had work done on her face since that was filmed; it looks completely different now. Fanny always sticks out like a sore thumb when other women are around. Of course, that's what she wants: to be noticed, but she's noticeable for all the wrong reasons! It's a shame she has so little self-awareness.

I really felt for Alberta. She seemed absolutely charming and her love of Isola del Garda was apparent - unassuming, unpretentious, unforced, natural. As you say, “understated elegance”, too. I suppose it’s not the first time she’s suffered the chirruping of inanities from visitors, I suppose it’s the price you pay for opening your home and its surroundings. SJ, on the other hand, was at her most vacuous, vapid, forced and unnatural.

Alberta’s English is nigh-on perfect. Given her English mother, that’s hardly surprising. The addition of editor’s captions was unnecessary, particularly when they’re spectacularly wrong. “A pair of samovars” (phaps not verbatim but Alberta quite clearly said samovars) helpfully captioned as “a summer vase” was as hilarious as it was startlingly dim-witted.

Stephanie was at her worst. She seems totally unnerved by people out of her comfort zone of mediocrity. She’s led to believe she’s something special but, when faced with the real thing, she flounders. The more unnerved she becomes, the more banal her remarks become. She drops in inappropriate references to her unimportant “chateau” as if it validates her and somehow makes her on a level-pegging. She’s not so much socially inept as socially illiterate.

 

[C'est moi]

Fanny’s real eye size and colour…


Fannny over emphasising French words Carte fiscale….. is this one of the first big lies from Fanny? She tells us many times that Nick bought her that Ford fiesta car.
Whose name is listed as the previous owner/ seller…..Marie?

The fact that it had no plates and needed to be registered told me that it was brought in from another country. And if it was Nick's Marie's car does indeed show it was a lie. I expect that Marie was changing her car and Nick volunteered it to fanny. Now Marie could have part ex'd that against her new car so I do hope that Nick made a monetary contribution to her. She could have got a company car of course and had no use for an extra car.

I wonder how many more big fat lies will come to light with the re-watching of the early CD's! She trips herserself up enough now.

 

[Lady Avonlea]

Patreon Vlog
Best thing about the vlog is there was no Snorty. It's an illuminating Mummy & Daughter Hour.

Mummy
Overall, Mummy says she's happy with the garden, but it's sure hard to tell. Mummy is very concerned that:

• Fanny has planted too much & taken on too much. It all takes management & work, but Mummy knows Fanny won't do it herself and really isn't interested in the gardens
• The plants need water and with water restrictions/drought conditions much of what's been planted won't survive
• Even with 3 gardeners (none who work on the weekend's we are told) there is much work and maintenance which isn't being done.

Mummy seemed anxious during the tour and clearly has different opinions to Fanny. I wonder if Fanny thought that planting lots of things in the garden would please Mummy, but not sure it has. Mummy loves gardening, and she's been told her role during this stay is to manage the gardeners, but Isabelle wants to get out in her garden and do it herself.

Mummy did the whole tour without sun glasses, but early on was rubbing her left eye a lot. Mummy admits she can't see very well. I fear for Mummy & Percy on the spiral staircases. Don't let Snorty walk behind you!
Gnome's know more about gardens than Fanny

In the garden, the chicken coop, the greenhouse, the Jardain Anglaise the dialogue went something like this:
F - I don’t know what that is
M - It’s lupins
F - That’s peas
M - It’s broad beans
F - I don’t know if it’s a pumpkin patch or courgette patch
M - It’s aubergine or perhaps melons
F - I don't know what it is – will have to ask them
F - I don’t know what that is – will have to ask them
F - I don’t know what that is - oh, field mushrooms (after reading the sign)
F - It’s delightful, it’s so pretty
M - One needs to check for little black mites
F - Strawberries
M - The birds will eat them
F - Asparagus
M - Needs lots of water, aren’t going to survive
F - Think it’s Rhubarb, unless it got moved
M - Needs lots of water and shouldn’t be forced
F - It’s artichoke
M - No it's cardoon and you eat the stalks not the flower head
M - That’s not how you store tools
F - Here's where the gazebo and new flower bed will be
M - The only problem is you are creating more and more work
F - Davy is pretty go at considering maintenance
M - I’m not sure
M - Where's the Lily of the Valley I planted
F - I think it got trampled

Davy
Fanny claims everything Davy has planted in the Jardin Anglaise needs no water after 3 years????

Woods
Fanny thinks she should come to the woods everyday. Fanny, you can’t do that unless you actually stay home at the shitoo everyday.

Scrap Yard for Broken Down Vehicles
Fanny says it's all Dan's old cars, but think we've found the red van and the car Baghead purchased for Fanny

Courtyard
Those damn posts in the courtyard won’t be removed for 8-10 years. Fanny tells Mummy she needs some vision. (Fanny, your Mummy is blind) Mummy will likely be dead before the posts are removed

New bench from auction house in Sussex – Fanny thinks it was only £50 but can’t remember!?!?! (Fanny you left off a zero - it was probably £500)

War on Weeds
Big argument over the heuchera plants in the Jardain Anglaise

M - That should not be there
F – But look at the nice red flowers Mummy
M - The weeds will take whatever water there is, so you need to do the weeding
F - No, No, No Mummy - don't pull that
M - What’s good about this? (after pulling out the weed)
F - Nothing
F - Maybe Mummy knows what she’s doing after all
M - She does (Mummy keeps pulling at the weeds)
F - Oh you’re getting there
M - I was always there
M - Apologize
F - I bow to your superior wisdom
M - I’m going to spend time here – everything has to go

Mummy, can you please include Snorty in your “War on the Weeds” which are invading the shitoo! We'd all like to see Snorty pulled out by the roots and chucked in the garbage, never to be seen again.

 

[jojonz]

I am watching Jenny'sChateau Farm, very astute woman, knows to put the word chateau to attract viewers, Changes it around so as to give good content.

Adore her husband Anders, son refuses to be filmed and had a conversation with father without being seen. Anders is cute I just want to cuddle him, but he has this nervous scratch, fortunately not like Ash (Lalacelle) who adjusted his 'private area' scratches his beard and hair.

Checked him out hes a european record producer but has done one Album for Kylie M. Whole house been wired to connect to his board in attic so can have someone in the lounge playing piano commected to string quartet in Attic etc. She kept him out of it in early days but had to get his help when in London on business, setting up a yoga retreat. To me he has taken over the vlog, hello viewers, I went to the airport and I found a wife, loves brocant but not endless visits. What I liked was he wanted a table for his studio, couldn't find one in the Emmanus so saw one in salon he like and moved it . And yes the wife he found hasn't complained and its still there.

 

[shatcho shiek]

Becaeful F4F your mum can still change her will someone we all know has a perchance for antiques Tiktok unsafe link https://tattle.life/threads/19920/

 

[Hemerocallis]

This is a favourite today…. Excellent cut flower , shame no scent, I love the purple whirly gig stamen.
I like hydrangea semanii and trained Garrya in the shade on my fence as an evergreen background…. And yes it is very tranquil in my garden…

Your garden looks gorgeous @Lochness Monster
The flower with the purple stamen is a Camassia ?
Can you say wich variety, please.