The Chateau Diaries #236 Tattlers have seen a crotch quiz and tulip-gate, but NO renovations or accounts!

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Jules100

I really don’t like how Stephanie tries to make her bnb seem like it’s luxury accommodations. It’s not. I think 100% of the people come because they are cd super fans, not because of its 5 star reputation. They come to be part of the faux happiness and chateau life she craps out. I would imagine they are all disappointed to be kept at arms length and barely tolerated, except maybe for the few minutes of their stay if it suits Stephanie’s needs. I think most of these people would love to be put to work helping out around Lalande. Instead they are nickel and dimed to death. “Culture” shoved down their throats. Would it really impress me that someone would play a few songs on a dusty piano? Maybe it’s nice for a few minutes, but shouldn’t be the highlight of any trip. Is the food any good? Maybe it’s alright sometimes? Maria seems like she tries. I’m sure it’s not better than most restaurants in the area and its more expensive. It’s definitely not clean, no matter how much Steph pretends it is. Is it even safe? Not according to Steph. If one side of my house was possibly going to collapse, I wouldn’t stay in the other side or have paying guests.
 
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witchgrass

Would love to see my favorite socialist, Maggie Mae Fish, do a little chateau expat deep dive.

 
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Patriciarella


Snorty never talk about how you hate waste again. You should have recycled all that cardboard.

Instead of learning another language you need to take a coarse on HOW TO FEED A CAT.

Become proficient in log splitting and fire making to keep YOUR chateau warm & safe!
 
Reactions: 34

Kalessi

Jules100 said:
You can buy those professional floor steamer / scrubbing machines. I thought about getting one for my house, instead of having them out twice a year with my old tile floors. 100% needed at Lalande.
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Yes! I did buy one after she cleaned it. But, it needed a good professional clean first. lol Lalande needs to tent the place and disinfect it.
 
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Imperious Me

She wallpapers over everything... it really showed up that nasty 70s shower stall... Never anything of substance but hey, let's wallpaper... stupid, stupid old woman.
 
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Imperious Me

I think we used the wrong grout on our kitchen floor, was for wet areas/pools etc so we thought "great"! But it's weird and attracts the dirt, but I literally get down on my hands and knees every 3-4 months and scrub it with a brush and Oxiclean... last time my son used the hand held nozzle from my tile steamer, got right in and bought it up white... Things need upkeep, she doesn't have a clue... and only pays a cleaner to wash bathrooms and floors it seems. That laundry room was shocking... at the last house mine was under the stairs along with the furnace and water heater, just a concrete box (like hers), but it was clean, tidy and orderly... no excuse with that many hands available...
 
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Arfarf

No! No! No! Now you have given them ideas!!!!!
But actually some of the first ones are better than the shit Fanny picks out! In fact #10 would look good in the winter salon...if it doesn't fall down first!
 
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Imperious Me

They all looked very uncomfortable when she came in with her camera when they were trying to enjoy breakfast... to be honest, that was a measly breakfast, bit of sliced ham from the grocery store, hard boiled eggs and an armload of dough...
 
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OhIDontKnow...

Does he realize the beanie makes him look bald and like he’s tattooed his head. Maybe he’s trying to get used to the idea.
 
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M&MsMom

Should anyone care, this is a NASTURTIUM leaf, not a marigold leaf, as Fanny oohed and aahed over it.

 
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Dragomiroff

Balmoral said:
Phiphi fazes out the tartan terror ! That's the only reason he persisted in his job, for all the world to see. Gerry no longer needed.
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We know that the Tartan Terror only comes when he’s getting a holiday or he’s on Channel 4’s Chateau DIY. C4 must have pulled the plug on Our Dame Fanny Four Flues - maybe all our emails actually made them have a conscious at the production company?
 
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Imperious Me

...because Mummy needed a fruit bowl, all these years of living and she's never bought a fruit bowl she liked....
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M&MsMom said:
Should anyone care, this is a NASTURTIUM leaf, not a marigold leaf, as Fanny oohed and aahed over it.

View attachment 2134087
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When you take away the plate-filling leaf, flower and inedible carrot ends, that's a very sparse plate... Maria's cooking is very whimsy... the silly pastry shovel and awful amount of twisted pastry on her baskets the other night... bit of meat and carrots?
 
Reactions: 23

Dragomiroff

Jules100 said:
You can buy those professional floor steamer / scrubbing machines. I thought about getting one for my house, instead of having them out twice a year with my old tile floors. 100% needed at Lalande.
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I’m really anti bleach in household cleaning - it’s bad for pets and goes into the drinking water system. However, in this circumstance the whole HMN needs a thick coating of bleach floor to ceiling to remove the years of grime build up. I dread to think about the state of the toilets. Can I make a confession without judgement? - yeah right this is Tattle Towers - my family, and consequently me, are not a shoes off at the front door policy people. I’m lucky enough to have a fabulous cleaner in every weekday plus I have two dogs so I can’t ask people to take their shoes off when my girls have been pounding the pavements with their paws. Besides, I can’t be dealing with people’s bare feet or socks with holes etc. Keep your shoes on and spare us both the embarrassment - there’s only so long I can withhold a grimace. Come to think of it, when I’m going on hookups or dates I always make sure I have got a nice pair of socks on plus underwear. I once had a moment with a guy who used to run his feet up and down my legs in bed and it instilled terror in me as I could feel his untrimmed toenails catching my leg hair - great face, terrible feet - it was never going to last long. Maybe I’ve got a feet issues?
 
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OhIDontKnow...

I’m a barefoot all day person. In and out of the house when I’m home. I’ll run down the road barefoot. But I clean my feet all the time as hubs is an always shoes person. Drives me nuts. I’m always cleaning the floor. I can feel anything on the floor. I don’t put dirty feet in my shoes. I don’t put dirty feet in my bed. I would die before I’d go barefoot in the Shittoo. That place is definitely a slippers or shoes kind of place.

In winter I do wear socks, but no dirty socks in shoes and no dirty socks in bed. I think it has to do with wearing four inch heels to work for years and the agony of the feet I experienced every day. I’d kick those suckers off in the car on my way home because my feet would hurt so bad.
 
Reactions: 24

Fennelbug

Imperious Me said:
They all looked very uncomfortable when she came in with her camera when they were trying to enjoy breakfast... to be honest, that was a measly breakfast, bit of sliced ham from the grocery store, hard boiled eggs and an armload of dough...
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There were 4 slices of ham before anyone ate! Natti does lay a prettier table tho. Except for the supermarket flowers- those are really bad
 
Reactions: 18

Lady Avonlea

OhIDontKnow... said:
Does he realize the beanie makes him look bald and like he’s tattooed his head. Maybe he’s trying to get used to the idea.
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Here's an idea for Snorty. (Article in today's Daily Mail).

Balding man’s incredible reaction after he gets a FRINGE tattooed onto his forehead - then sees himself in the mirror for the first time. Balding Gianluca, 26, from Italy decided to get a fringe tattooed to his forehead
A balding man has tried to salvage his diminishing hairline by getting a fringe tattooed onto his forehead.

Gianluca, 26, from Italy, decided to visit his local tattoo parlour to see if they could help provide a solution for his thinned-out hairline. He finally managed to persuade a tattoo artist to agree to his idea of tattooing fake hair onto his head but when he looked at himself in the mirror, he was left speechless.

 
Reactions: 22

C'est moi

Well, if it's for what's-his-face phyll-arse then it certainly has to be door no. 7 Autumnal Squirrel. Phyll-arse does lurve his Autumnal colours
 
Reactions: 12
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