The Chateau Diaries #235 If she blinks at 100 miles per hour, it's because she can't hide her lying eyes

[Gertrude Maud]

I am halfway through the CD vlog, and thought the very same thing! It made my feet itch just looking at it! I want to grab a bottle of X-14 and a scrub brush!

The grout!

 

[notanangel]

I do NOT understand why they don’t hire a maintenance person (or put Philip to work clearing out), and allow Amaury to do his job which is woodworking and restoring. She’s using him for s**t jobs and that isn’t why he is there. He either is fed up or sick. He looks terribly overtired.

 

[MRShavershamsdress]

I wonder if Maria also reads here? Just in case, Maria, I’d pay good money to see you hand Snorty McFuckboy his ass. A good, thorough backhanding would be just what the doctor ordered. Maybe you could start it off and the others could line up and shoot their shot. I’m sure Anne-Marie would step up.
C’mon…doooo it!

 

[MagpieSassyPants]

Congratulations on your anniversary! If that was FQ Fest in 2008 I probably partied right past you as that was one of my more epic festival years.

It WAS! There is a pic of my raising my bouquet along with my husband’s hand like a prize fighter to a cheering crowd! If you saw a bride in a bias cut lace dress sneaking a cig outside of Galatoire’s, that was me! And thanks!

 

[Jules100]

Ok, I have a roomba robot vacuum, I love it. As you may know, I have 4 lil dogs, the mutt pack, but I don’t want my house to look like I have 4 dogs. The roomba is wonderful. Before I got new floors during my recent home renovations, the main area of my house had unsealed tumbled travertine, unfilled with chiseled edges and 1/2” grout lines in the Versailles pattern (put in by previous owners). It’s a detailed description, I know exactly what it’s called because I was going to need more of it for the renovations, but have since found out it is no longer available. I was pretty happy about it because it is horrible to keep clean and mop.

Anyway with my open love for my Roomba known to everyone in the house, the robot mopper was brought up several times to me. I didn’t want it because I knew it wouldn’t really get my tiles and grout lines clean. I could get one now with my new floors, but they’re very easy to clean and I still know that mop robot wouldn’t do that good of a job.

Lalande’s floors are so dingy and gross, plus everyone always wears their shoes inside all the time, there is no way that mop robot does a good job. I’m sure it does something, but not nearly enough. It’s like having your kids mop, not worth it.

 

[Gertrude Maud]

Oh geez I meant to write the little girl was NOT convinced. When looking at the potato dessert.

We knew what you meant!

 

[Pekey]

I wonder if Maria also reads here? Just in case, Maria, I’d pay good money to see you hand Snorty McFuckboy his ass. A good, thorough backhanding would be just what the doctor ordered

Oh lets not muck around - get that dump truck and just run over him!

 

[Arfarf]

Im surprised darling Daddy did not choose a naked chicken as his favourite.
Fanny really recalls the weirdest things.

Perhaps she could do a vlog.” My fathers favourite things “
Starting with :
Bantams
Trees with space between them,
Sunflowers,
Me , me , me.

Condoms,
boobies,
perversion,
Chauvinism

 

[Lochness Monster]

Death comes to Lalande . 18 chicks denied life.

 

[Gertrude Maud]

That was so pretentious I almost gagged when I realized what she said. I didn’t recognize it immediately either. I walk my fur baby in Audubon Park several times a week and I can assure it’s not pronounced like that in New Orleans. It’s Ah-da-bun said rapidly with the emphasis on the ah and almost swallowing the bun (down @HalcyonOrganic). Definitely not aaaahdewbonne as she was mangling. Of course, it isn’t N’awlins either unless you’re a tourist or in that industry. Locals roll their eyes so hard it’s a miracle they can find their way back to the front when they hear it. A little hint, it’s New Or-leeyuns, swallowing the leeyuns (stay down Haly baby) or New Orlunns depending on your neighborhood. There’s also a Yat accent that I can’t reproduce, never could. Oh, and Stephanie Jarvis, where the effing Hell are the accounts?!?

 

[M&MsMom]

Fanny’s FB page is getting some interesting comments. Wonder what failing chateau is trolling

Hey, at least, for once, they aren't blaming those "trolls" on us here at Tattle!
But it is interesting that they're blaming other channels, who they say are failing. Would love to know which channels they think those are and what constitutes "failing".

 

[Gertrude Maud]

Why wash napkins after one use? Do they even wash the sheets after each use?

I know one family I worked for, we would sometimes iron the sheets on the bed after one nights sleep if we didn’t have enough sheets!! This was an aristocratic family!
He wears a yellow jumper to wallpaper for EIGHTEEN hours and then goes out for lunch in it the next day???.

Did anyone sense a slight lisp when Fanny was speaking? I wonder if along with Mr Fairpants she has Invisalign ?

I mentioned this a while ago.
And I'm pretty sure she has had Invisalign as I could see it across her top teeth but only in certain light.

 

[Kalessi]

I am halfway through the CD vlog, and thought the very same thing! It made my feet itch just looking at it! I want to grab a bottle of X-14 and a scrub brush!

The whole place grosses me out. I used to think it was a charming French farmhouse when I first started watching. It’s one of those things that once you see it you can’t unsee the filth. It’s probably what’s holding it all together.

 

[MRShavershamsdress]

That’s what she was saying?!? Good Lord, she really mangled it!!! Doesn’t help that I’m a wee bit deaf!

 

[M&MsMom]

No need to wait for Sunday, Miss Lie of Lielande already dressed the room with grand salon curtains and that red horrible vanity and that dirty ass white feather collecting more filthy!

BTW: Leş, means a filthy dead body. it's also a derogatory term for a death person who ''deserves the death e.g terrorist, rapist, murderers, Hitler, Mao, Stalin (you get it). these persons death bodies can be called Leş. Don't be like me and use it for a beloved deceased one.

ev leş gibi meaning the house is as filthy as a dead body.


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Why is the lighting above the bed placed so high? That looks terrible - they should be brought down at least 12 - 18 inches, as they're meant to be reading lamps, that the arm can swing over closer to you while you're in bed reading. Who wants to get up and adjust the lighting to read? I could go on, in particular about the bedding itself and the too small Euro pillows - I will say that I do like the wallpaper in the bathroom, but will wait to see what happens when the bathroom is complete with whatever it is Amaury is doing. I just wish the two rooms related to each other somehow in color and style.

There is no way on God's green earth I would spend the amount of money she charges for these rooms to stay there. Wallpaper all wrinkled up and old behind the radiator on the right, poor lighting, crappy artwork that doesn't match whatever style she's got going on in that bedroom. It is atrocious, all of it!

 

[Gertrude Maud]

That silk has seen direct sunlight for 17 years. It must have become fragile at this point at places where the sun hits the fabric directly.

I agree Luna andI if it was stretched it would rip.

Why did they hang the wallpaper the way they did? Space at the top, space at the bottom, just seems weird to me. I’m a bit weary of wallpaper in the bathroom anyway, especially when it’s put up by idiots.

Also, the way Stephanie always talks about Daddy & Philip speaks about Grandfather… I used to think that Philip did it as another way to finagle his way into Stephanie’s psyche. I now believe that they both do it because of their granny demographic.

They definitely do it because of their grannie demographic.
Tugging at the heart strings of their audience . . . it's emotional manipulation . . . I can hear the violins playing.

ALL those plates in the CHMN and Snorts scoffing his breakfast crossiant stood up dropping crumbs ALL OVER newly robot vacuumed floor. He would not be eating like that in my house.

He doesn't care about the mess because he doesn't have to pick up after himself.
If he did do any cleaning he would be more mindful.

 

[Fennelbug]

Why is the lighting above the bed placed so high? That looks terrible - they should be brought down at least 12 - 18 inches, as they're meant to be reading lamps, that the arm can swing over closer to you while you're in bed reading. Who wants to get up and adjust the lighting to read? I could go on, in particular about the bedding itself and the too small Euro pillows - I will say that I do like the wallpaper in the bathroom, but will wait to see what happens when the bathroom is complete with whatever it is Amaury is doing. I just wish the two rooms related to each other somehow in color and style.

There is no way on God's green earth I would spend the amount of money she charges for these rooms to stay there. Wallpaper all wrinkled up and old behind the radiator on the right, poor lighting, crappy artwork that doesn't match whatever style she's got going on in that bedroom. It is atrocious, all of it!

A couple people there really need to go to a proper design school. Like, proper design not just carrying old magazines of AD to a better place 45 mins away.

 

[Le Baiseur]

I just watched the recent vlog.
1. Amaury has checked out.
2. The robot floor cleaner will do nothing on her uneven, furniture cluttered floors. I had to get rid of mine, it was useless against my saltillo floors.
3. She looks like tit in that purple dress.
4. Those kids were thoroughly unimpressed with the prententious potatoes.
5. She looks like tit in that yellow dress.
6. There were no tulips in the guests' flowers.
7. I don’t mind the wallpaper, but the gap at the top is odd. I imagine they'll paint it to match?

 

[Gertrude Maud]

I have to give them props for finally having the common sense to send the bedding out. Based on their lack of laundry bags, and making a big deal about it- this is a newer concept for them. I wonder if Fanny ever got around to replacing the towels with good quality white ones- when Tomaz organized the laundry room years ago, the towels were pretty manky looking and all colours. She should be sending towels out as well so they are properly sanitized. Well, sending the bedding out is progress. I certainly hope she recycles the bajillion bags that it comes back in!

Agreed T Rex.

I would prefer to sleep on sheets that had been sent out rather than sleep on sheets that were laundered in their laundry.
Also . . . the sheets would be returned wrapped in plastic as per what we have seen at Anna and Philipp's.

The towels should go out, if not, I hope they go in on a long, hot wash.
---

I see your Day By Day and raise you Day Bidet.

I loathe Godspell.

 

[T Rex]

Ok, I have a roomba robot vacuum, I love it. As you may know, I have 4 lil dogs, the mutt pack, but I don’t want my house to look like I have 4 dogs. The roomba is wonderful. Before I got new floors during my recent home renovations, the main area of my house had unsealed tumbled travertine, unfilled with chiseled edges and 1/2” grout lines in the Versailles pattern (put in by previous owners). It’s a detailed description, I know exactly what it’s called because I was going to need more of it for the renovations, but have since found out it is no longer available. I was pretty happy about it because it is horrible to keep clean and mop.

Anyway with my open love for my Roomba known to everyone in the house, the robot mopper was brought up several times to me. I didn’t want it because I knew it wouldn’t really get my tiles and grout lines clean. I could get one now with my new floors, but they’re very easy to clean and I still know that mop robot wouldn’t do that good of a job.

Lalande’s floors are so dingy and gross, plus everyone always wears their shoes inside all the time, there is no way that mop robot does a good job. I’m sure it does something, but not nearly enough. It’s like having your kids mop, not worth it.

Jules, LVP is such a game changer! I had tile (it's still there under the LVP, but it is clean), and it was such a PITA to keep clean (stupid grout!) LVP is so much easier to keep clean!

We had really bad luck with our Roombas (one's charging board died right after the warranty expired, and the other was possessed- it would randomly start singing and hoovering at 2AM), so we went with Shark, which works great (although, "Robbie", as we named him, had an unhealthy obsession with a Bose speaker stand in our family room- he would just continually hump the damn thing, and I finally made Mr. T Rex reprogram his ass. Dirty little robot!) I agree on the mopping robot- not sure that it would actually do a better job, and my pups lack any manners at mealtime (the last thing I want is Farmer's Dog smeared all over my kitchen floors!)

Shoes in the house- gross. I understand her "home" is a business, but like you, I actually "live" in mine. Our friends make fun of us for the no shoes policy, but whatever- go on back home to your dirty house. (If you took a swab of the bottom of someone's shoe and put it in a petri dish... Ewww!) With a stinky little JRT (even after his weekly bath, his little feet still smell like corn chips- I am guilty of sniffing them!), and a Chiweenie (who actually doesn't smell like anything- so weird!), our house does not smell like dogs or a bag of Fritos. Truth @Jules100- neither you nor I would last a day in the Shitoo without losing our minds at the filth and feeling compelled to clean the place up!