The Chateau Diaries #21 Peep shows, Creep shows, Tour drama overflows

[oldandoverit]

Which bloody thread dingbat there’s multiple... who the flip died and made you queen ?

So tell us, what has you so irritated?

 

[Joy no toile]

Which bloody thread dingbat there’s multiple... who the flip died and made you queen ?

Mojo, finally discovered your train of thought. Realized I needed to remember reading Through the looking Glass and The walrus and the carpenter. Impressed and delighted. Your rhythmic prose was reminscent of my early days. Your pentameter gave you away. Honestly thrilled I found this thread/tattle.

Which bloody thread dingbat there’s multiple... who the flip died and made you queen ?

Hey there, not judging or casting stones. Is there a better way to express how you feel? Theoretically, your nic means sedative your comment hardly conducive to sedation. If on the other hand you wanted to poke a hornets nest. Yup you go. You did. Name calling very declasse.

 

[Jeeves]

A small one time derail: I do not understand very well how to be a Tattler. I am a novice at this type of site. I wish I could emulate others, with banter, and adeptness. I cannot. I lurk because of it and appreciate everyone's posts. I am not a spy. I do not know and never want to know anyone at La Lande. I found LaLande because I was enjoying D&A and their show and googled some stuff and up popped our tit Shat tow friend. I did not know who she was. I then watched a few youtube vids and thought this was crazy seeing a 40 yr old behaving like a teen having tantrums with her mom. Their interaction was horrendous in those earlier vids until the smooth veneer and mask appeared. I thought it was equally crazy what was and was not happening for reno work there. It was indeed a tit show. Googling some more, Tattle came up and I joined to lurk, not offend. I found similar like minded people. I see different responses to different posts depending not the poster here and even if posts are similar. Do we want people to join us here or not? Do the main posters want to keep it to a small band of tattlers they trust? I am not sure. I feel there may be conclusions about posters new or old that is not accurate, me included. Good night all.

Hi @Stephanieeee. I don't think anyone wants to keep this group exclusive- as far as I can see, people have responded to your posts and engaged with you. Yes, some people do come in and manage to alienate themselves by the tone of their posts - see @Belladonna1969 as a prime example of this. Sometimes people come in demanding answers to lots of questions and making contentious remarks - as you will be aware there have been lots of instances of people affiliated to various chateaux "dropping in and out". Others adopt a sneering and condescending manner from the outset, always seeking to "correct" others or are given to showing off. I am sure that as people get to know you better and understand your style, you will find it easier. Persevere - we were all new once! I recall @Clara Burnett being given a particularly hard time at the start.

 

[Milre]

I think it is the pace of life, the weather, the space, the perception of the good life that lures British people to go to live abroad. Led by a raft of TV programmes such as Escape to the Chateau, A New Life Abroad, A Place in the Sun, Bargain Loving Brits all showing people having a lovely life anywhere but in the UK. I think some just want to retire there, or open businesses like chambre d'hote and have a slower pace of life. I guess like most people living in a different country they hook up with others from their own land for support & guidance. House prices are so much cheaper in France or Spain than they are in UK, so if you sell a property here you can buy a much bigger place with land over there.

Yeah, but this one seems to complain about slow pace of life

 

[TheTaxInspector]

She definitely should take a break, it would give her time to screw her head back on correctly.

After all, she works so hard, doesn't she? Maybe she could screw a new head on and get some treatment for the shito diarrhea condition. If these people disappeared tomorrow it wouldn't be too soon.

 

[Princess and the Pea]

In today’s episode of Sundays at the Shat-a-loo, Stephanie and the Gang take us to a cathedral. Strap on your seatbelts and grab your masks tattlers, we’re going to Bourges!

Before we start out on our journey, we are greeted by Stefanny, donned in a bold pink lipstick from The Bedroom Trim collection from Revlon. Today she will be playing the role of ‘pretentious tour guide’. We jaunt into the kitchen where meet up with Nutty and Philip dressed for their roles as ‘the ladies in waiting’. They compare their costume choices, black, white, and tartan. Can you believe that Nutty and Staphy never wear black?! Yeah, me either. Enough about the dress code, where’s Marie? Surely she’ll be joining along for the field trip. Off we go to gather Marie...

We find Marie at the entrance of the old floral studio. She obviously didn’t get the memo about the dress code. In an act of defiance, Marie has decided not venture off with the others and stays behind. Stuffy throws a casual insult Marie’s way, “Marie, you weasel!”. Marie, either blinded by the sunlight, or perhaps holding back tears after being insulted by the Lady of LaLande, confesses that she has too much work to do to go on frivolous outings. She invites us inside her ‘business’ where her flowers are laid out on the table. Marie explains that she was gifted 4 boxes of flowers from a mysterious stranger. How nice that they sent her toys to play with. Marie bids us farewell, but the look in her eyes says, “I hope you choke on a croissant.”

Off we go on a Sunday drive through quaint French villages as we are serenaded by copyright free piano music. We’ve made it to Bourges and stop to take in the scenery of landscaped trees and buildings while walking down to street, the cathedral in the distance. The suspense is building and we finally make it! Stiffany, entranced by the magnificent beast of a building, ponders life great mysteries, “how do they build such things?” Give her minute, she hasn’t grabbed the cathedral history pamphlet yet. As Stephaneee goes over her lines, we walk down the most quaint, idyllic little street, up to the back of the cathedral. It wouldn’t be a Steph tour guide video without getting lost on the way to the entrance. We ascend up a stone staircase, through a courtyard of pruned trees to the gothic cathedral.

The moment you’ve waited for has finally arrived. It’s time to begin the tour. Stephaknee, equipped with her Wikipedia print outs and cathedral history pamphlet begins. She has finally found the front of the building and begins describing the facade and the history. The camera pans up and down over the stone work. I’m desperately trying to be interested, but truth be told, I‘m bored to tears. Screw it, I’m skipping ahead to the interior and I’m taking you with me...

The tour commences inside with Stiffanee having a transcendent experience as she describes the interior. She continues spouting facts about the building of the cathedral. Insert b-roll footage of cathedral and angelic music. Cue Philip amazed by a chandelier and snorting over the size. We now find out the intent of trip, Stephanie is there for the windows. This video just became interesting! Is she going to smuggle stained glass out of the cathedral? Is Philip going to hide them under his hat? That must be where Nutty is hiding, she’s already removing them and stashing them in the car. My apologies to get you excited, we’re only here to gaze upon them as our tour guide reads whistfully from the pamphlet about their history. Insert more b-roll and angelic music.

Moving on to comparing this magnificent cathedral to Lalande‘s chapel, you had to know that was coming. We find ourselves admiring a clock that doesn’t work as our tour guide gives us another history lesson pulled from the pamphlet. I’m getting distracted by the fact that Nutty is still missing. Is she confessing her sins in the confessional? Is she hidden away feeding history facts to the pompous tour guide through a tiny bluetooth? Maybe she fell asleep somewhere after hearing Stephanie drone on and on, much like myself.

Cue Philip again, amazed by the organ, probably not the first organ he’s been amazed by. Philip takes is upon himself to take over the tour. Fascinated by wood, he begins talking about the ceiling.

Just when you thought this video couldn’t get more exciting, we go back outside and we’re going shopping! No, for real this time! We find Nutty, who must have gotten a jump start shopping at Zara, and meander through a little shopping district. We marvel at the mix of modern and historical buildings. Time to head into an emmaus and look around. Steph spots an old encyclopedia of decorative arts, gazes upon it while giving us yet another history lesson. Our favorite shopping addict, Philip encourages her to purchase it, as its only 25 euros. She declines over concern that she’ll never use it, and she only wants to focus on buying things they will use. The camera cuts to Steph holding an atrocious lamp for the attic bedroom, for this is a much better use of her money. Philip and Nutty try to hide their disdain for the lamp by deflecting onto the fact that it doesn’t come with an atrocious lampshade. She decides against purchasing as to not add additional clutter, I, for one, am shocked, as this has never stopped her before. We continue looking through more, um, what’s the word? Crap, we continue looking at crap.

Back into the car we go, off to another brocante, where, you guessed it, we look at more crap. We play ‘spot the clown’, ‘who’s the first to get vertigo in the book section?’, ‘find the ugliest lamp’, and ‘name that tune‘ as Philip plays Canon in D on a half working organ. Steph purchases a French cookbook, which made an appearance in the last vlog. She’s going to prove to one and all that she can, in fact, cook French cuisine. Moving on. The camera pans on to artwork, obligatory porcelain, Madame Lamballe in a picture frame along with a history lesson about her gruesome death, etc, etc.

Now you’re probably saying to yourself, “this has been such an exciting Sunday, but can we go home, please?”. Yes! We head back to Lalalande, and are informed that lockdown is over, but we have to be home before 6, which is curfew. Lockdown is over! Hurrah! Easter of Excess will commence!

This is where our journey ends. If you stayed awake for the entire history lesson, you get a round of applause! You did much better than myself. Now I must be off to make Piperade for the family, as we always celebrate Sundays at the Shat-a-loo with aperitifs and French cuisine on the terrace.

This is genius. I can really whizz through the vlog now as I know from these & other comments that the only bits of interest are the dress code for the trip, the Marie weasel disgraceful comment, putting on her talk inside the cathedral & letting it drop when outside. Nothing else of any interest quite clearly.

 

[Milre]

They really called her weasel ? Haven't watched it yet

I guess she wanted to show the viewers that Marie was invited to come but it was her decision to stay, but somehow it turned into bullying again

The majority of British who go to France, Spain, Portugal or Italy to live are not unsuccessful as you suggest. They mainly want a different way of life, better weather and to expand their knowledge of the world and it’s people. As for being unable to afford a regular house, I think they are actually doing a service to France in taking on “some old rotten farmhouse” - which would otherwise completely rot and fall down.
If they could actually find somewhere in the UK that is the size and with the land that is available in France, it would cost on average 4 or 5 times more. That’s another reason - availability, size and cost! They usually pay cash (because of selling homes in UK) - so again not so unsuccessful. If you watched the very first episode of ETTC DS stated that they bought their chateau for what the sold their apartment for in the UK, with £100k over for renovations,
We have friends who bought a smallish, farmhouse in Normandy fifty (50j years ago for less than the price of a caravan in the UK. They repaired/renovated/improved it over five years -weekends and holidays only. Their family and friends used that property for twenty years, before they sold it - to locals - bought a larger one with barns that they also repaired and turned the barns into holiday homes. The locals at both properties welcomed them for their custom, friendship, expertise and for turning eyesores into beautiful properties.
Don’t judge everyone the same.

That's exactly what I meant, they are not successful enough to afford the same style of house in Britain.

 

[ProfessorPlum]

Off for a little R & R in Madrid with Letcherous Loki I just made myself sick

I can't believe they allowed the lech to continue in the live chats. Can he really have a 30-year old son? His latest comment, Tell Philip I said thanks for the candle? Seriously? I do think (not Phil-fending) that Philip and his parents must be aware and at least somewhat concerned. It is disturbing and stalkerish behaviour, enabled by who else but the woman he's in thrall to. I can't imagine he'd have any real interest, God help him if he does.

 

[Princess and the Pea]

She has the working bees taking care of her affairs, of course. How is she going to justify her 70 hours/week job I wonder...?

If editing is a JOB like she always remarks, then stop asking for volunteers to do it. Be a warm blooded human being for once, and pay them for their working hours.

The world is going through a tough time, and everybody is struggling one way or another. Just because there are poor souls out there that would like to have the experience for free (or a good looking guy who wouldn't mind providing maintenance procedure to the chatelaine), is no reason to take advantage of it.

Attention to all guests attending Lalalande for Easter celebrations.

As we are unable to leave my beautiful Chateau to shop, due to that nasty Mr Macron’s horrible Covid 19 regulations, please take note and bring the following with you. Recommend minimum of six twenty bottles of each variety per person.

Belgium: For those travelling from Belgium (or even through Belgium) - lots and lots of chocolate. Gin and mixers.

Dutch (inc Denmark /Sweden/Norway etc)
Wine, gin, chocolate and cheese (not that tasteless Edam) Do not buy the wine from those tourist supermarkets - as they only sell cheap French stuff and I’m sick of drinking cheap French supermarket wine (get the good stuff).
Danes don’t forget the bacon - lots, and lots and lots of bacon.

Germany: Wine (not that crap Riesling) gin, cheese and chocolate - sausages would be good too. Forget the sauerkraut (unless you want to eat it)

Italy: Wine, Cheese, pasta, ham, plus Panettone- I know it’s not Christmas- but with no tourists there must be loads left in the shops. Doesn’t matter if it’s a little stale because I can toast it - love it toasted with a cup of tea in bed. Plus any left over can be made into a puddings - warm it up, cover with cream and a few strawberries (if any in garden) and with everyone so pissed they’ll eat anything. (no crappy Italian chocolate though).

Portugal : Port (no Sherry - mummy’s not here) plus call in at a good supermarket and get some wine, cheese, ham etc., just use your common sense.

France: Wine (not supermarket stuff) brandy, Calvados, champagne, gin, cheese, liquors - lots!

UK: Gin, gin and more gin. Whiskey and whisky lots of both - need Irish (because although I’ve never been there, I have one of their passports) & Scottish because I was born there and Scotsman is coming. Cheese, proper mature cheddar and Cheshire, Stilton, Caerphilly, Red Leicester, Wensleydale in fact get everything. Pork pies (M&S) get loads, dying for a pork pie (sausage rolls as well) if you can acquire a cool box fill up with fish fingers and Birds Eye burgers (can’t buy those bloody things here) Gin ... did I mention gin? Tea - Tetley, PG, Typhoo and pop into F & M and get some smoked Earl Grey - several dozen tins.

Everywhere else in the world: Bring whatever you wish - as long as it includes, wine, gin, cheese, ham, liquors and decent chocolate. Plus any other delightful gifts you may wish to bring for me!

I might need someone to pick up Scotsman. Don’t know where from as yet, as it all depends on where he lands. He’s going to Dover at night (no curfew in UK), picking up a discarded dinghy and heading to France (there’s a novelty). He’s hoping to land somewhere along the Normandy coast, but he’s not too sure exact location as his granddad couldn’t give him very accurate details - 1944 is a long time ago. Anyway, when he arrives he will ring and give us a map reference or road sign or name of some bar to pick him up. Camel toe was suppose to be collecting him but he’s gone home and his mum might not let him come back!

Final instruction(s) everyone bring your own sheets and towels - I haven’t time to wash and clean up - that’s something else you will have to do before you leave. For the 28 people who came at Christmas you don’t need to bring your own sheets. You can use the same bedrooms as per Christmas because the sheets are still on those beds. For everyone else it’s first come best rooms. Late comers it will be camp beds in barn or Selmar’s camper van.

Don’t worry about bread, Marie will collect 126 baguettes every day fresh from the bakery. On the subject of bread - my darling Michael Potts I’m sorry but you will need some fresh sourdough as that idiot Nati has killed the culture you left at Christmas. (Please also bring some flour if you want to bake bread or make pizzas) thank you daarrrling!

Please remember everyone, absolutely no one must know you are coming here. I will deny all knowledge of anyone breaking lockdown rules in their country if they are caught by the police ... you’re on your own.
Looking forward to seeing you and your presents at Easter.

Your darling
Chatelaine Stephanie xx

I love it! You've got inside the head of the selfish Stephanie, you must be covered in a mix of muck & glitter.

 

[La Brocanteuse]

With regard to Philip's sudden departure... Perhaps it was the straw that broke the cameltoe's back?

 

[oldandoverit]

I was just reading comments on the latest video, a few people bringing up the bullying

 

[Milre]

I can't believe they allowed the lech to continue in the live chats. Can he really have a 30-year old son? His latest comment, Tell Philip I said thanks for the candle? Seriously? I do think (not Phil-fending) that Philip and his parents must be aware and at least somewhat concerned. It is disturbing and stalkerish behaviour, enabled by who else but the woman he's in thrall to. I can't imagine he'd have any real interest, God help him if he does.

You are welcome, Loki

 

[oldandoverit]

You are welcome, Loki

WTH!!

 

[Seeingitasitis]

Attention to all guests attending Lalalande for Easter celebrations.

As we are unable to leave my beautiful Chateau to shop, due to that nasty Mr Macron’s horrible Covid 19 regulations, please take note and bring the following with you. Recommend minimum of six twenty bottles of each variety per person.

Belgium: For those travelling from Belgium (or even through Belgium) - lots and lots of chocolate. Gin and mixers.

Dutch (inc Denmark /Sweden/Norway etc)
Wine, gin, chocolate and cheese (not that tasteless Edam) Do not buy the wine from those tourist supermarkets - as they only sell cheap French stuff and I’m sick of drinking cheap French supermarket wine (get the good stuff).
Danes don’t forget the bacon - lots, and lots and lots of bacon.

Germany: Wine (not that crap Riesling) gin, cheese and chocolate - sausages would be good too. Forget the sauerkraut (unless you want to eat it)

Italy: Wine, Cheese, pasta, ham, plus Panettone- I know it’s not Christmas- but with no tourists there must be loads left in the shops. Doesn’t matter if it’s a little stale because I can toast it - love it toasted with a cup of tea in bed. Plus any left over can be made into a puddings - warm it up, cover with cream and a few strawberries (if any in garden) and with everyone so pissed they’ll eat anything. (no crappy Italian chocolate though).

Portugal : Port (no Sherry - mummy’s not here) plus call in at a good supermarket and get some wine, cheese, ham etc., just use your common sense.

France: Wine (not supermarket stuff) brandy, Calvados, champagne, gin, cheese, liquors - lots!

UK: Gin, gin and more gin. Whiskey and whisky lots of both - need Irish (because although I’ve never been there, I have one of their passports) & Scottish because I was born there and Scotsman is coming. Cheese, proper mature cheddar and Cheshire, Stilton, Caerphilly, Red Leicester, Wensleydale in fact get everything. Pork pies (M&S) get loads, dying for a pork pie (sausage rolls as well) if you can acquire a cool box fill up with fish fingers and Birds Eye burgers (can’t buy those bloody things here) Gin ... did I mention gin? Tea - Tetley, PG, Typhoo and pop into F & M and get some smoked Earl Grey - several dozen tins.

Everywhere else in the world: Bring whatever you wish - as long as it includes, wine, gin, cheese, ham, liquors and decent chocolate. Plus any other delightful gifts you may wish to bring for me!

I might need someone to pick up Scotsman. Don’t know where from as yet, as it all depends on where he lands. He’s going to Dover at night (no curfew in UK), picking up a discarded dinghy and heading to France (there’s a novelty). He’s hoping to land somewhere along the Normandy coast, but he’s not too sure exact location as his granddad couldn’t give him very accurate details - 1944 is a long time ago. Anyway, when he arrives he will ring and give us a map reference or road sign or name of some bar to pick him up. Camel toe was suppose to be collecting him but he’s gone home and his mum might not let him come back!

Final instruction(s) everyone bring your own sheets and towels - I haven’t time to wash and clean up - that’s something else you will have to do before you leave. For the 28 people who came at Christmas you don’t need to bring your own sheets. You can use the same bedrooms as per Christmas because the sheets are still on those beds. For everyone else it’s first come best rooms. Late comers it will be camp beds in barn or Selmar’s camper van.

Don’t worry about bread, Marie will collect 126 baguettes every day fresh from the bakery. On the subject of bread - my darling Michael Potts I’m sorry but you will need some fresh sourdough as that idiot Nati has killed the culture you left at Christmas. (Please also bring some flour if you want to bake bread or make pizzas) thank you daarrrling!

Please remember everyone, absolutely no one must know you are coming here. I will deny all knowledge of anyone breaking lockdown rules in their country if they are caught by the police ... you’re on your own.
Looking forward to seeing you and your presents at Easter.

Your darling
Chatelaine Stephanie xx

OMG this is brilliant. I LOL. I would have totally believed you had you said that you had managed to hack her e mail. Even the spies must be crying with laughter.

 

[Princess and the Pea]

Foremost, she hasn’t shared the details of the fashion school scholarship ‘donation’ in South Africa, paid for by us, her viewers, or at least the viewers of the Cadeaux vlogs. In a way, SJ made her viewers complicit in the exploitation of the applicants that went on down there. I’m sure we’ll hear more about the dresses! In looking into the application process on YT, I learned that Stephanie lied to us and that in fact, the applicants had NOT been asked for, nor had they given their consent to be filmed in a 30-part YouTube video series, which would benefit Stephanie, Isabelle and Percy reputationally as 'philanthropists' and benefit the school financially through monies raised from YT viewership. The applicants themselves would not be paid for their appearance in the videos in which they were made to open up about their lives of extreme poverty. In recompense, one person would be chosen and given tuition monies, however, she and her family are literally so poor that they cannot afford food or transportation. On the occasion the winner was announced, the school director made great fanfare in awarding-- wait for it--a dinner voucher to the emotional mother, who had no money to feed her family. And there's Percy and Isabelle preening on Facetime on a tablet on the conference table, and our Stephanie on Facetime on a cellphone, the Great White Benefactresses of South Africa, taking credit! How perverse and grotesque can one be? This video series is cruelly named "UNPICKED" (all caps), and as viewers of "Chateau Unwrapped!" we are all complicit in this outrageous, and yes, racist exploitation. So, learning about this and her history with Marie really set me up for today’s vlog, and frankly, I was embarrassed by the intensity of my own response. (Also, I need to edit BEFORE I post, not after. ) No regrets, but I need to take a step back, myself!

Not wanting to defend Stefanny but did she say they'd agreed to be interviewed too? I know the creepy Villioti guy said it in an attempt to weasel (sse what I did there) out of the process. But you are right it is exploitation of the lowest form.

 

[JimmyJams]

Or some people come in being new and get derided for not knowing which thread certain things have been talked about . But rather than link back they get belittling. Oh well I guess this is not a group that’s going to grow .
looselips talking tit help a newby not a bit .

Calm down. I'm a newbie too, there are in excess of 20 threads, do you seriously expect anyone to remember which particular thread a topic is in? If you really want to know what's in the threads I politely ask that you read them. Peace!

 

[Belladonna1969]

So tell us, what has you so irritated?

It’s too much to read through cbf moving on . I’m not going to bother obviously this is a group better off as a closed chat

 

[lalablahblah]

Or some people come in being new and get derided for not knowing which thread certain things have been talked about . But rather than link back they get belittling. Oh well I guess this is not a group that’s going to grow .
looselips talking tit help a newby not a bit .

I'm not exactly sure which thread you are looking for. It is a lot of information. There is a search bar you can use key words that may narrow it down. People in here get flack from people with an agenda to control the narrative and make pathetic attempts to make Skankanee look better. Sometimes it can make them take a while to warm up to you. Hopefully you feel better soon.

 

[oldandoverit]

Or some people come in being new and get derided for not knowing which thread certain things have been talked about . But rather than link back they get belittling. Oh well I guess this is not a group that’s going to grow .
looselips talking tit help a newby not a bit .

You could always use the search function to get answers to your burning questions, and you wouldn't have call names & insult people. Oh and how's your constipated cat?

 

[Princess and the Pea]

Or some people come in being new and get derided for not knowing which thread certain things have been talked about . But rather than link back they get belittling. Oh well I guess this is not a group that’s going to grow .
looselips talking tit help a newby not a bit .

I said 'Think it is in previous thread'. Which you read it 'a' previous thread. But it seems pretty clear that if it is being discussed now it must be something which happened recently. You've come in all guns blazing - so guess you can expect a bit of fire back. Yep, it might be a drag to have to look for it, but if you want to enjoy the gossip then pull up a chair, get your popcorn out & read from the start. Thrills & spills and laughs - top notch entertainment all for free. You're welcome.