The Chateau Diaries #209 Fanny runs through her so called friends like toilet paper!

[TorontoGWM]

Yep. Fucked off to London. I’ll do a recap.

Given the cost of upcoming structural work at the chateau, said antiques should be sent back to London and sold at auction. There should be no shopping all year except for food. Time for the Floor Scrubber to get a grip and start living in reality.

 

[Lady Avonlea]

Diana Massarenti
3h
You mentioned long ago wanting to paint your faux bamboo armoire, but if you check on 1stdibs, you'll see they are worth $10,000.


Jillian Scott
1h
Im just hoping they steam clean the velvet sofa when it gets to lalande, and maybe more than once

 

[KiKiGee]

Diana Massarenti
3h
You mentioned long ago wanting to paint your faux bamboo armoire, but if you check on 1stdibs, you'll see they are worth $10,000.

Jillian Scott
1h
Im just hoping they steam clean the velvet sofa when it gets to lalande, and maybe more than once

How many more are not REAL patrons???
Diana Massarenti is posting comments on Stephanie Jarvis' patron flog however, she is not a patron.

Diana Massarenti
3h
You mentioned long ago wanting to paint your faux bamboo armoire, but if you check on 1stdibs, you'll see they are worth $10,000.

 

[Gertrude Maud]

The amount of tit she has bought is obscene

Seriously, she has a problem.

 

[Kickintheass]

For Venice's sake I hope she doesn't move there. The place is currently sinking 1-2mm per year. The amount of tat she would buy and fill a home with she could increase this exponentially. After last years trip to Carnival and claiming it was an annual trip in the past will she be there again this year? Good thing I'm going the week before as I'm taking advantage of our new Bank Holiday weekend (first Mon in Feb) in honour of St Bridget.

 

[C'est moi]

F I L T H Y * P A T R E O N * R E C A P

Okay you filthy animals, here we go….

As I earlier predicted, Fanny and PhiPhi fucked off to London, probably two weeks ago. They were there to clean out her flat, so she can use it or rent it going forward. Hmmm, someone’s starting to watch her pennies.

Interestingly, Fanny looked clean and had makeup on. PhiPhi looked filthy as usual. They took a train out of town to pick up a rental van and then drove back to her flat to load up. She hired two guys off an app to help her. These two little shoppers have been busy y’all.

Items (as far as I can remember):

dressing table15£

daybed previously sold at Sothebys (3000-4000£) can’t remember. Has been re-upholstered.

Pink velvet chesterfield sofa (she claims it was 250£) cough, bullshit, cough, eyeroll

marble top gold console table (whofuckingknows £)

2 huge chandeliers for mummy’s apt

various side tables etc in bamboo (she’s going to do a bamboo room - wheeeeee!)

a settee PhiPhi purchased

a wrecked chair that he purchased so he can learn how to do upholstery WTAF?

a pink cast iron painted daybed with hand painted roses for the pergola - it will be wrecked in no time and the hand painted details will just burn away in the sun as it rusts ?£

various art and cushions

and finally,

the stupidest purchase hands down…..

goes to PhiPhi…….

He bought probably 400 pieces of antique light blue and white transferware in various states of destruction because his grandfather gave him a little tureen in that pattern. (HIS GRANDFATHER WAS A TOTAL WEIRDO - MY GRANDFATHER WENT DUCK HUNTING AND FISHING AS A COMPARISON) There had to be like 10 platters and half of them were brown from crazing and being left In dirty dishwater. Y’all, they are so stained. About half of the plates are stained too. You know how they smell when they get like that.

Fanny says that she’s going to hang them on the wall in the nasty corridor to the kitchen after they put up some paneling. I’m guessing this will occur in 2028 or 2029 based on how fast Anne Marie works.

Also before leaving she put up the lime green silk curtains she bought a year ago and had to rearrange all the art on the walls because both Potty and Larkin had been by to confiscate their art they had in her flat? Apparently Potty is moving a bunch of things from Amsterdam and we will see that in a future vlog?

I JUST REMEMBERED TO POINT OUT THAT PHIPHI ISN’T HER BOYFRIEND - HES HER bleeping WIFE.

Based on what I’m seeing. He’s the First Real Housewife of LaLaLande.

So, she claims the vlog was late because she was uploading from a b&b outside of Paris that they stayed at Wednesday night. They would get to the dump Thursday, and that part of their trip will be seen in next weeks regular video. She’s still a week ahead or so she says…..

That’s it from me, I remain disgusted by the show-and -tell of their shopping addiction, I find also I dislike her a little more each time I see her, and that is all for now, you filthy animals…..

Thank you, thank you, thank you @OhIDontKnow... for your excellent update. I think you may have hit a winner with a future thread title...

PhiPhi. He's the first real housewife of Lalalande.

 

[Just Grift Wood]

Patricia Beveridge
9min
Stephanie, In your last patron video, you described paying 2,700 Euros for a structural survey of the Grand Salon as being very expensive. With all the vital structural work pending at the chateau, how can you justify so much discretionary spending on these non-essential, decorative items? The total cost of everything purchased in this video would easily paid for the structural survey. Even if the item is a 'bargain', the spending all adds up. It didn't strike me as a healthy start to 2023 and I'm honestly concerned both you and Phillip have a shopping addiction.

 

[Le Comte de Monte Cristo]

Omg ...so more crap is entering the already stuffed with crap crumbling heap...What timespan is thay crap..since the Chealseaflowershow?? or after that?? i seem to remember there already was a load coming from the UK...

Why did they send that indian pergola from the UK when they were about to go there....it doesnt make sense that pergola appearing after months in France...and suddenly Madame Crap is going to collect her stuff in the UK? is it old content?? did they collect that crap already?? did that pergola came along??

So her flat hasnt been rented out the whole year...just used as a warehouse...?? and does anybody know how it works at the border?? a van loaded with stuff?? isnt there nobody asking questions about taxes?? the money they wasted....it must all be a huge ammount..also the rental van..travelling...

How many porcelain one needs?? all that old filthy crap..who knows what happened with it...maybe it was stored for years in a barn with rats pissing over it?? Disgusting...We also have a lott of porcelain ...but i for sure know what happened with it..and where it was stored away for centuries...and that it was cleaned from time to time...while not in use.. The same goes for old upholstered furniture.....yuk...probably infected with woodworm...like Billies wood vases....and Makers pictureframes...all that old crap has woodworm..I have never seen that they spray against woodworm..just like everything she ignores that..All the expensive things she has bought will fall apart in no time...

i do think there isnt much money left for renovations...all those people she has to pay and feed..booze and champagne..expenses on her heap..all that travelling...buying crap...and believe me...thats only what she likes us to see..there must be much more she buys....those two are addicted.....i do believe she also buys expensive juwelry too...and other things...but that she will never show...People who are addicted to buying stuff...buy everything in a huge amount..

Patricia Beveridge
9min
Stephanie, In your last patron video, you described paying 2,700 Euros for a structural survey of the Grand Salon as being very expensive. With all the vital structural work pending at the chateau, how can you justify so much discretionary spending on these non-essential, decorative items? The total cost of everything purchased in this video would easily paid for the structural survey. Even if the item is a 'bargain', the spending all adds up. It didn't strike me as a healthy start to 2023 and I'm honestly concerned both you and Phillip have a shopping addiction.

too much free time and free money....all day buying crap they dont need....so lalande..

Patricia Beveridge
9min
Stephanie, In your last patron video, you described paying 2,700 Euros for a structural survey of the Grand Salon as being very expensive. With all the vital structural work pending at the chateau, how can you justify so much discretionary spending on these non-essential, decorative items? The total cost of everything purchased in this video would easily paid for the structural survey. Even if the item is a 'bargain', the spending all adds up. It didn't strike me as a healthy start to 2023 and I'm honestly concerned both you and Phillip have a shopping addiction.

too much free time and free money....all day buying crap they dont need....so lalande.. what a wasted and empty life they all have...

For Venice's sake I hope she doesn't move there. The place is currently sinking 1-2mm per year. The amount of tat she would buy and fill a home with she could increase this exponentially. After last years trip to Carnival and claiming it was an annual trip in the past will she be there again this year? Good thing I'm going the week before as I'm taking advantage of our new Bank Holiday weekend (first Mon in Feb) in honour of St Bridget.

if her venice palazzo would crumble under the weight...and sink in the grand canal..with her and phi phi on top off the crap..it would be a nice clean up... not that i wish those grifters dead...let that be clear...i never wish anybody a nasty end..

For Venice's sake I hope she doesn't move there. The place is currently sinking 1-2mm per year. The amount of tat she would buy and fill a home with she could increase this exponentially. After last years trip to Carnival and claiming it was an annual trip in the past will she be there again this year? Good thing I'm going the week before as I'm taking advantage of our new Bank Holiday weekend (first Mon in Feb) in honour of St Bridget.

if her venice palazzo would crumble under the weight...and sink in the grand canal..with her and phi phi on top off the crap..it would be a nice clean up... not that i wish those grifters dead...let that be clear...i never wish anybody a nasty end..

 

[KyBourbon]

Patricia Beveridge
9min
Stephanie, In your last patron video, you described paying 2,700 Euros for a structural survey of the Grand Salon as being very expensive. With all the vital structural work pending at the chateau, how can you justify so much discretionary spending on these non-essential, decorative items? The total cost of everything purchased in this video would easily paid for the structural survey. Even if the item is a 'bargain', the spending all adds up. It didn't strike me as a healthy start to 2023 and I'm honestly concerned both you and Phillip have a shopping addiction.

I love to watch the scales fall from Patron’s eyes when they finally wake up. There’s no words to describe Stephanie’s stupidity and shallowness. She’s dense. And Philip is an absolute joke. I’m convinced he’s on the payroll to play the part of her “boyfriend” for some weird, strange reason that only makes sense in Stephanie’s screwed up head.

 

[Gertrude Maud]

Omg ...so more crap is entering the already stuffed with crap crumbling heap...What timespan is thay crap..since the Chealseaflowershow?? or after that?? i seem to remember there already was a load coming from the UK...

Why did they send that indian pergola from the UK when they were about to go there....it doesnt make sense that pergola appearing after months in France...and suddenly Madame Crap is going to collect her stuff in the UK? is it old content?? did they collect that crap already?? did that pergola came along??

So her flat hasnt been rented out the whole year...just used as a warehouse...?? and does anybody know how it works at the border?? a van loaded with stuff?? isnt there nobody asking questions about taxes?? the money they wasted....it must all be a huge ammount..also the rental van..travelling...

How many porcelain one needs?? all that old filthy crap..who knows what happened with it...maybe it was stored for years in a barn with rats pissing over it?? Disgusting...We also have a lott of porcelain ...but i for sure know what happened with it..and where it was stored away for centuries...and that it was cleaned from time to time...while not in use.. The same goes for old upholstered furniture.....yuk...probably infected with woodworm...like Billies wood vases....and Makers pictureframes...all that old crap has woodworm..I have never seen that they spray against woodworm..just like everything she ignores that..All the expensive things she has bought will fall apart in no time...

i do think there isnt much money left for renovations...all those people she has to pay and feed..booze and champagne..expenses on her heap..all that travelling...buying crap...and believe me...thats only what she likes us to see..there must be much more she buys....those two are addicted.....i do believe she also buys expensive juwelry too...and other things...but that she will never show...People who are addicted to buying stuff...buy everything in a huge amount..


too much free time and free money....all day buying crap they dont need....so lalande..


too much free time and free money....all day buying crap they dont need....so lalande..

'Why did they send that indian pergola from the UK when they were about to go there....it doesnt make sense that pergola appearing after months in France...and suddenly Madame Crap is going to collect her stuff in the UK? is it old content?? did they collect that crap already?? did that pergola came along??'

Recently I watched an English Youtube garden tour video.
It was one of a number made during covid lockdowns.

And oh my god.
One of them had Steph's Indian temple.
I wanted to post the vid here but couldn't.
Correct me if I'm wrong but I think she said her's is an antique.
I don't think so.
I believe they are made to order and thus the long wait time for it's arrival at HMN.

 

[Le Comte de Monte Cristo]

I love to watch the scales fall from Patron’s eyes when they finally wake up. There’s no words to describe Stephanie’s stupidity and shallowness. She’s dense. And Philip is an absolute joke. I’m convinced he’s on the payroll to play the part of her “boyfriend” for some weird, strange reason that only makes sense in Stephanie’s screwed up head.

that woman is completley mad..and .addicted to alcohol and shopping...leaves me what her father and her mummy were/are really like...her upbringing was already strange...but i also think its in the genes...poor old people in those carehomes they all exploited.....and propably robbed..

 

[JackSpratt]

Yep. Fucked off to London. I’ll do a recap.

So, she's purchased enough 'things' to fill a van eh! Clearing out stuff from the shatoo, my arse. Believe it when I see it. She'll have to comfort bunboy first after the trauma of dismanteling half of his pristine workshop.

 

[Gertrude Maud]

I love to watch the scales fall from Patron’s eyes when they finally wake up. There’s no words to describe Stephanie’s stupidity and shallowness. She’s dense. And Philip is an absolute joke. I’m convinced he’s on the payroll to play the part of her “boyfriend” for some weird, strange reason that only makes sense in Stephanie’s screwed up head.

It's all becoming a bit warped.

 

[JackSpratt]

The amount of tit she has bought is obscene

Well following this mass purchase of a load of old tat, IF that heating system doesn't start going ahead soon I bloody hope those upper tier patrons wake the duck up! It's a joke!

 

[lolander]

Patricia Beveridge
9min
Stephanie, In your last patron video, you described paying 2,700 Euros for a structural survey of the Grand Salon as being very expensive. With all the vital structural work pending at the chateau, how can you justify so much discretionary spending on these non-essential, decorative items? The total cost of everything purchased in this video would easily paid for the structural survey. Even if the item is a 'bargain', the spending all adds up. It didn't strike me as a healthy start to 2023 and I'm honestly concerned both you and Phillip have a shopping addiction.

She's getting more and more audacious because she knows her patrons won't say anything. Flying monkeys have probably jumped on Patricia's question already.

 

[JackSpratt]

That's got to be a nomination from @OhIDontKnow... Phiphi, the first Real Housewife of Lalande

 

[Pekey]

And oh my god.
One of them had Steph's Indian temple.
I wanted to post the vid here but couldn't.
Correct me if I'm wrong but I think she said her's is an antique.
I don't think so.
I believe they are made to order and thus the long wait time for it's arrival at HMN.

There are a lot of Indian's rolling around on the floor laughing at people buying their made to order Antique Indian Temples !!!

 

[JackSpratt]

Lisa Freitas
2h
Wow Stef! Sounds like lots of plans have changed! Can’t wait to hear about them. Love those globe(?) chandeliers. Cant wait to see it all in the light safe travels.

Lisa needs a slap with a wet cod too....

 

[Fennelbug]

View attachment 1893740
So says St Kathy...but how can she move away from herself? Seriously, good luck to St Kathy!
May she find real friends to talk to and may she find ones that don't move away from negative people, otherwise, she'll be back ranting on YouTube again in no time.

Any word on where Stephanie Jarvis and her twink are? Has anyone got Patreon intel, or was tonight's video a rehash of Holiday clips again?
Are they on their annual safari trip? Will they be on another shopping spree at some South African luxury art store?
Are they visiting Villioti again to exploit their poor young fashion design scholar?
Is PhiPhi ready to get his dead turkey complexion bronze a little under the South African sun?

View attachment 1893744

The high waisted lady pants are horrible

 

[JackSpratt]

@C'est moi didn't see you'd already done the same nomination, great minds xx