I just started watching a series on Hulu this morning called, Only Murders in the Building. It is about a murder that occurs in a large apartment building in New York City. A resident is murdered and 3 other residents are working to figure out who murdered the resident,
I wonder if Ruth Kelly’s next book could be Murder at Lie Lande. ( the villa sounds a bit like Lie Lande, with everyone competing for something.) This would be the first couple of episodes:
F4F and Snorts were found lifeless at the Dump. Snorts’s body was found dressed in his lady desk room, under his lady desk, in the opulent all gown F4F wore in Venice, wearing his prized velveteen booties and a tiara was crammed on his head. His body was covered with a fake Hermes blanket and surrounded by stuffed squirrels and hedgehogs. The French language program they did an ad for during videos is still running on his laptop. A half eaten bowl of full fat dairy ice cream was found half melted next to his laptop. An autopsy revealed copious amounts of alcohol and huge amounts of cheese and other dairy products in his stomach. Was he truly lactose intolerant and had a fatal adverse reaction to the dairy products? Was he forced to eat dairy by his killer and denied an epipen? Was it his ice cream by the laptop or the killer’ creamy dairy treat? Who would have motive to kill Snorts?
F4F’s lifeless body was found laying in her bed. Sadly and unfortunately, since this was the normal reclining position of the Shittelaine, it took the Dump crew 2 days to realize that she had died and was not merely sleeping. F4F was found laying in her bed, with an assortment of dozens of framed photographs of herself laying around her, some mock ups of Daddy Derek pervy tiles, and a jug of expensive wine had been spilled across the crumb covered bed. A half open bag of chips was on the bed next to a cracked teacup full of home made chutney. The old moldy facial steamer F4F rescued from the Attic clearing was still plugged into the wall and was on the table next to the bed. Someone had taken paint and covered up the naked breast in Fanny”s beloved Daddy Derek painting. It was later discovered all the naked people depicted in Daddy Derek’s paintings had been covered in paint. A egg slicer once purchased by Daddy Derek ( but never used by him) was found underneath the pillow of the Shittelaine.
Anne Marie nervously explained, “ nothing was out of the ordinary. It was just another night for Cuz Fanny.” An inconclusive autopsy revealed that the Shittelaine may have died from food poisoning from the expired chutney, from alcohol poisoning from drinking several bottles of wine, or was killed by mold and contaminants from using the nasty moldy facial steamer from the attic. Was she forced to drink copious amounts of non watered down wine? Forced to use the nasty facial steamer? Did she know the chutney had been expired for 12 years? Did she have a volunteer or Dump inhabitant bring her the chutney to her bedroom. And was too drunk and unaware it was spoiled or drugged?
How unusual that both deaths occurred so close in time. Was F4F killed on the same night as Snorts? No one realized she was dead for 2 days but she had a long established history of playing with/faking timelines and fancied herself a “time traveler.” A few weeks after the death of the Shittelaine, her bed sheets were finally changed, and a twig from the Marie Antoinette descendent tree and a small porcelain figure from an Epiphany cake rolled out from the sheets.
The figurine had been won by Fanny countless times over the years and entitled her to be “Queen of the Day.” No one could explain why it was tangled up in the bedsheets.Cuz Anne Marie ominously proclaimed, “Now she is the Queen every day. Godspeed Cuz Fanny” and then rushed to the wine cellar to bring up a bottle of the most expensive champagne to “toast” his dead Cuz.
The Dump crew went thru a dozen bottles of champagne that night and Cuz and Dan were seen joyously and drunkenly throwing Snorts’ plates and porcelain into the fireplace. Ole Battle Axe rushed to F4F’s bedroom to take all the jewelry and liquor.
The Shittelaine or Snorts were offed at the faux Christmas celebration filming taking place in July, and the local tax inspector/Ruby/The flower killer has to determine who of the remaining Dump residents on the premises at the time of the murders would have motive to kill them (Sir Chamberpottie, Ruthie writer, Manless Dan, Anne Marie, the Angry Argentenian, Baghead and wife, Percy, the ole battle axe Mummy, Manor and Maker, the “Egyptologist” , the disgruntled peahens, chickens, and sheep, Davy, etc.)
Ruby quickly exonerates the animals, and the search circle is expanded to all people who visited the Dump in the past 5 years, to include volunteers, B and B guests, contractors, government officials, the recipients of the gift grab funds, with guest cameos by Ollie and Camilla and Jason Dubley, etc. Were the maligned accountants fed up with Fannys lies? Was Baghead tired of wearing a bag and being filmed? Was Sir Chamberpottie fed up with the decade+ of belittling and demeaning comments/actions and anger from the Shittelaine and snapped?
The possibilities of people who have a motive to off the gruesome twosome is overwhelming. It would have to be a 12 part miniseries, at a minimum,
I wonder if Ruth Kelly’s next book could be Murder at Lie Lande. ( the villa sounds a bit like Lie Lande, with everyone competing for something.) This would be the first couple of episodes:
F4F and Snorts were found lifeless at the Dump. Snorts’s body was found dressed in his lady desk room, under his lady desk, in the opulent all gown F4F wore in Venice, wearing his prized velveteen booties and a tiara was crammed on his head. His body was covered with a fake Hermes blanket and surrounded by stuffed squirrels and hedgehogs. The French language program they did an ad for during videos is still running on his laptop. A half eaten bowl of full fat dairy ice cream was found half melted next to his laptop. An autopsy revealed copious amounts of alcohol and huge amounts of cheese and other dairy products in his stomach. Was he truly lactose intolerant and had a fatal adverse reaction to the dairy products? Was he forced to eat dairy by his killer and denied an epipen? Was it his ice cream by the laptop or the killer’ creamy dairy treat? Who would have motive to kill Snorts?
F4F’s lifeless body was found laying in her bed. Sadly and unfortunately, since this was the normal reclining position of the Shittelaine, it took the Dump crew 2 days to realize that she had died and was not merely sleeping. F4F was found laying in her bed, with an assortment of dozens of framed photographs of herself laying around her, some mock ups of Daddy Derek pervy tiles, and a jug of expensive wine had been spilled across the crumb covered bed. A half open bag of chips was on the bed next to a cracked teacup full of home made chutney. The old moldy facial steamer F4F rescued from the Attic clearing was still plugged into the wall and was on the table next to the bed. Someone had taken paint and covered up the naked breast in Fanny”s beloved Daddy Derek painting. It was later discovered all the naked people depicted in Daddy Derek’s paintings had been covered in paint. A egg slicer once purchased by Daddy Derek ( but never used by him) was found underneath the pillow of the Shittelaine.
Anne Marie nervously explained, “ nothing was out of the ordinary. It was just another night for Cuz Fanny.” An inconclusive autopsy revealed that the Shittelaine may have died from food poisoning from the expired chutney, from alcohol poisoning from drinking several bottles of wine, or was killed by mold and contaminants from using the nasty moldy facial steamer from the attic. Was she forced to drink copious amounts of non watered down wine? Forced to use the nasty facial steamer? Did she know the chutney had been expired for 12 years? Did she have a volunteer or Dump inhabitant bring her the chutney to her bedroom. And was too drunk and unaware it was spoiled or drugged?
How unusual that both deaths occurred so close in time. Was F4F killed on the same night as Snorts? No one realized she was dead for 2 days but she had a long established history of playing with/faking timelines and fancied herself a “time traveler.” A few weeks after the death of the Shittelaine, her bed sheets were finally changed, and a twig from the Marie Antoinette descendent tree and a small porcelain figure from an Epiphany cake rolled out from the sheets.
The figurine had been won by Fanny countless times over the years and entitled her to be “Queen of the Day.” No one could explain why it was tangled up in the bedsheets.Cuz Anne Marie ominously proclaimed, “Now she is the Queen every day. Godspeed Cuz Fanny” and then rushed to the wine cellar to bring up a bottle of the most expensive champagne to “toast” his dead Cuz.
The Dump crew went thru a dozen bottles of champagne that night and Cuz and Dan were seen joyously and drunkenly throwing Snorts’ plates and porcelain into the fireplace. Ole Battle Axe rushed to F4F’s bedroom to take all the jewelry and liquor.
The Shittelaine or Snorts were offed at the faux Christmas celebration filming taking place in July, and the local tax inspector/Ruby/The flower killer has to determine who of the remaining Dump residents on the premises at the time of the murders would have motive to kill them (Sir Chamberpottie, Ruthie writer, Manless Dan, Anne Marie, the Angry Argentenian, Baghead and wife, Percy, the ole battle axe Mummy, Manor and Maker, the “Egyptologist” , the disgruntled peahens, chickens, and sheep, Davy, etc.)
Ruby quickly exonerates the animals, and the search circle is expanded to all people who visited the Dump in the past 5 years, to include volunteers, B and B guests, contractors, government officials, the recipients of the gift grab funds, with guest cameos by Ollie and Camilla and Jason Dubley, etc. Were the maligned accountants fed up with Fannys lies? Was Baghead tired of wearing a bag and being filmed? Was Sir Chamberpottie fed up with the decade+ of belittling and demeaning comments/actions and anger from the Shittelaine and snapped?
The possibilities of people who have a motive to off the gruesome twosome is overwhelming. It would have to be a 12 part miniseries, at a minimum,
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. Show the accounts, Fanny!
