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Clara Burnett

VIP Member
You're right. None of them were, but I think that's why the Jarvises sent their only daughter to Oxford where the chances of rubbing shoulders with the upper classes are much higher than at the University of East London or some nursing school in Ipswich. I have a cousin studying at Oxford who's dating a girl from an aristocratic family he met at a Christmas formal last year. Luckily, with your theory playing out well, SJ didn't find a noble dude to marry but instead flocked together with birds of the same feathers--a bunch of trying-hard social climbers who desired nothing more than to own a run-down chateau or a magical modernist mansion.
I probably told this story before, but years ago Stephanie Jarvis was invited by an elderly German prince who wanted to court her. She was impressed by his castle and the Christmas market he organized for the local villagers, but not so much by the man himself so she returned to the CHMN without engagement. Isabelle Jarvis was not only disappointed but actually furious that her daughter blew all chance of becoming royalty. Stephanie Jarvis rebuttal that she would not be happy with that prince, was met with nothing but scorn from her "loving" mother, who has kept on "teasing" her daughter with that failure ever since.
 
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MsMuir

Chatty Member
They had 20 people for Christmas lunch.
Every one of them, except for Dan, stayed at least two nights.
With Phyllis' family there, the gay sycophants and their pugs can't sleep over on New Year's Eve.

Excluding the condemned rooms, the co-owners' and mummy's apartments, the whole farmhouse can sleep 19. They could have easily spared a bed for Alexander. I'm guessing the Janssens are staying at Nick and Marie's apartment.


Red numbers indicate the number of occupants.
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A floorplan??? Holy Farmhouse! All this time I thought this was just an innocent little forum where we could all rant about the grifters.....I had no idea its actually a full on MILITARY OPERATION! I love it!😀
(Although some of you scare the hell out of me)
 
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Yebo

VIP Member
Any artisan who is mad enough to work there should have decinale insurance if they've got any intelligence.
And this is exactly the confusion that arises from the crime family's use of relatives to act as contractors. Ostensibly Armoire is the handyman. Is he an electrician? He's installed the electrics or tampered with the electrics in the courtyard. Is he qualified? As a handyman he's paid by Fanny. When it comes to restoration my bet is that he morphs into a contractor and is paid by the Association. So, here's the scam.
As a contractor to restore and work on the collapsing not so grand salon, he submits a quote which is highly inflated, to the Association. Conveniently, the Association is run and managed by his girlfriend, cousin and Aunt. The association accepts the inflated quote and pays out. But, where are they paying? Has Armoire set up a company in Panama? Jersey? South Africa? I don't mean Armoire literally, he's too dim. I am referring to the 'family'.
If I were auditing this shambles I'd want to see at least 3 quotes from contractors. And there had better be a very very good explanation why Armoire got accepted. But to continue with the scam.
So Armoire fronts the restoration. He gets paid for his work, then he subcontracts to experts who do the actual job but adds 20% or however much the family agree to the bill. That 20% is sent offshore and divided amongst the family. Remember, the public have no access to the accounts because Fanny changed the wording on the Patreon account. The only 'members' of the Association are the family and therefore only the family have to see the accounts and attend the AGM. Was the AGM on boxing day when Phillipa's parents arrived?
The money was generated by Patreon tax free and this is a way to get it out of the Association tax free while also increasing the value of their asset, the farmhouse.
Listen here, I used 20% as a guide. It could be 100%. we'll never know... Or will we... ? I'm going to report this to the UK authorities because there are Patrons in the UK so it falls under their jurisdiction. Within 2 weeks Auntie, Uncle, Armoire, Fanny. Isabelle, Percy, Nick Larkin, Michael Potts will be being looked at by the authorities. I say 2 weeks because it's going to take me at least a week to write the letters and collate all the information. And I'll certainly advise them to read this blog. It's been frustrating for me to not be able to do anything and now I can. I'm chuffed.
There is another name for this other than fraud and tax evasion. It's also called money laundering. HMRC and the Serious Fraud Office are going to have a field day. I'm jealous because I'd love to be part of the investigating team. Actually might offer my services... It ain't over until the fat lady sings and I've put on a lot of weight lol
If we do nothing the scam continues, because there's the Chapel. I can't resist and apologise in advance... be warned...
THE LE LANDE CHAPEL IS HANGING BY A PRAYER HA HA HA HA
 
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Karma baby!

VIP Member
Our a French Chateau channel just makes me happy 😆

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They put a picture of their donkey in the guest room 😂😂

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TorontoGWM

VIP Member
Time for the first annual Chateau Grifter UTube awards. Feel free to add awards.

2022 Tone Deaf Award - The Influencer and Wallpaperer

2022 Misappropriation Award - Chatelaine d’ Ardwhore

2022 Most Irrelevant Channel - Doing it Himself

2022 Most Disappointing Channel - Doing it Himself

2022 Most Derelict Chateau - tie between LiarLand and VantheMan’s already collapsed chateau

2022 Most Likely to Make You Fall Asleep - Minor and Faker

2022 BS Award - tie between the Mansplainers Dread (Bordeaux Strife) and Pill ( Chateau Strife)

2022 Worst Editing - The Lesbians of the Chateau Productions

2022 Greatest Rambler - Patsy from Columbia

2022 Least Able to Speak During a Vlog - tie between Stewie from Columbia and The Mansplainer’s wife

2022 Most Likely to Finish The Chateau - The Gilder and her hubby

2022 Most Annoyingly Irrelevant Commentary - tie between Fill-Up J and Ryen

2022 Sympathy Award - tie between Homeless Alexandra and the recovering Chatelaine Love

2022 Hardest Working - tie between Belly Potterick and the Gilder and her husband

.2022 Laziest Chatelaine - Chatelaine d’ Ardwhore

2022 Bad Taste - Angie from Chateau Strife

2022 Messiest Chateau owners - The French Beans

2022 Least Likely Channel to Succeed - tie between Fill-Up J’s and the Two Poufs

2022 Most Likely to Start an OnlyFans page - tie between Vana and the Dowager Argentinian

2022 Gravel and Render Content Award - Escape to the Nightmare

2022 Most Naturalized Chateau - VantheMan’s chateau/ruin
 
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KiKiGee

VIP Member
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Helen Gray

1 hour ago
Great vlog happy new year to all La landers 🎉 can I ask have I missed natty apartment renovations haven’t seen progress for a long time x

REPLY

caroline gooder

1 hour ago
Until they finish the rear window upgrade at the Chateau in the back area of the workyard, the apartment of Natti and Gerry's above are on hold. Grand Salon and Chapel are being worked on first. The plan is to remove the rendering of the Terrace area, double check what windows were there before the fire in the 1800s, and do all the windows in back first. Plus, fix up the Terrace and Stairs. Then, the Rendering and Windows in the front will be done.

caroline gooder
46 minutes ago
The kitchen renovation is on the list but behind the Grand Salon, Chapel, and Heating project of this spring. Steven is making a wall of titles out of Stephanie's father's art that he didn't finish in his lifetime. See the past vlogs of what it will look like. The lights you mentioned are going back over the billiards table when it returns to the Chateau.

caroline gooder
1 hour ago
That apartment project is on hold till Windows in the Terrace area are decided on. Grand Salon and Chapel are going first. The survey of Chapel appears underway this winter.

caroline gooder
1 hour ago
In one of the Vlogs, it was stated that someone is going to share the workshop soon. Perhaps help for the Grand Salon or Chapel or even part of the plan for the heating upgrade. Sounds like stables are changing again also.

caroline gooder
1 hour ago
It is being cleaned out. Amaury's workshop is changing as he needs to share with someone else. It may be for the Grand Salon , Chapel, or Heating project.

caroline gooder
1 hour ago
Amaury set up four plugs in the middle and plugs over by the table for laptops, food heater, etc. Hopefully, solar lights and wireless speakers might also be considered in the future.

caroline gooder
1 hour ago
Michael Potts became a co-owner just a few years ago. He and Stephanie dated for years. Ruth is his partner now. Stephanie's parents fixed up a house in SA near Michael's family before Stephanie's father died. Michael's brother gave a party a few years ago in a vlog and still lives near Isabelle and Percy at the beach in SA. Nick is the original co-owner and friend from University Days. He doesn't take much part in the vlogs without his face being hidden.

caroline gooder
26 minutes ago
Stephanie's father had several paintings that are for adults in theme, with a dream or fantasy quality like the cartoon style of the naked tennis party and the lovers in the garden painting. Abstracts are not to everyone taste, but the colors and forms are brilliant in the painting.
 
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Clara Burnett

VIP Member
They would be Chambre de la Tour and Bonne Maman. The quarter circle at the lower left corner of del Tour leads to the upper left corner of Bonne Maman. Very convenient for swinging guests.

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Also, when SJ started renovating, she mentioned that they "cleverly" added en suite bath rooms into some guest rooms by hallowing out the thick walls. One of which was Chambre Rose. Its bathroom is literally at the lower right corner of the condemned part. The walls are thick for a reason! Their clever move turned out to be idiotic which possibly added to the compromised structural integrity of that section!

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Very true! And on top of that: the bathroom you showed a picture of, the one painted ugly yellow and belongs to Chamber Rose, has been leaking for the longest time. If someone takes a shower there and doesn't mind the shower curtain, the water comes running straight through the ceiling in the winter salon below. I have personally seen that happen twice, but I guess it must have happened many more times.

So as I'm watching this, and yes, Ricardo is doing all the work, Ricardo is putting up wallpaper over bare wall board - no joint compound to fill in the seams between boards, and no primer on the wall board before putting up the wallpaper. Won't this cause major problems when they decide to change the wallpaper (and won't the seams/screw holes show under the wallpaper?)? Like pulling the finish off the bare wall board and leaving it in tatters? I was always taught by my father that the wallboard seams need to be filled and the walls primed before you do any paint/wallpaper (He was a general contractor and built many houses and was very particular about finish work before decorative work). Just an observation.
I have no room in my head to understand why anyone would buy an old French farmhouse and then beat all original features out of it and make it ugly Ikea modern. Thank God that couple did not buy an historic chateau...
 
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KiKiGee

VIP Member
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It's a New Year's miracle.
Dana had her hair done.
Bad news, the black dye stained Dana's head.
Good news, Stephanie Jarvis and Philip Janssen are not in the picture.
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....and then there is this, 👇 another stained head and over teased hair.
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Yebo

VIP Member
I imagine behind the scenes lots of infighting has started. Fanny will be saying if I pay for this for patron you need to match it or recompense me down the line to the other owners. If Larkin wants to sell out she is probably trying to give him as little as possible. The friendships will all break eventually thanks to this fools folly. She has been happy to take from them all these years but I doubt she is very giving now she has hit the grifting jackpot. If Michael is serious with Ruth why would she want to keep coming to an uncomfortable apartment and watch her man bow and fawn to an ageing pretend princess? Fanny will push everyone away eventually she is lazy, spoilt and wants everything her way
Now what I'm going to say does not reflect generally on my dislike for Queen Phillipa out of the Netherlands but:
I'm perfectly sure that Phillipa has been planting poisonous thoughts in Fanny's ear along these lines.
You do know that you're doing all the work and potty and baghead are benefiting because you are increasing the value of the Castle (in it's delusions it imagines it's living in a castle) without paying you anything. They should pay you back for their share of the patreon/association money you bring in. It's not fair that you should do all the hard work all the time. They don't do anything! I've got your back, I'd never let anyone take advantage of you the way they are - alienating Fanny from her friends and sowing seeds of doubt.
Why does mummy have a say in what goes on here? It's your Castle, she doesn't own a share and it's not her garden. It's your garden. You can do what you like because it's your money that's being spent on the Castle. They owe you.
And etc and etc. It can be very harmful and Phillipa begins to appear like the only person who truly supports her. And it's fangs dig deeper.

A floorplan??? Holy Farmhouse! All this time I thought this was just an innocent little forum where we could all rant about the grifters.....I had no idea its actually a full on MILITARY OPERATION! I love it!😀
(Although some of you scare the hell out of me)
Don't underestimate the power and reach of tattle.life
 
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Jeeves

VIP Member
I did notice in the boxing day vlog that Potts, IJ and Percy were looking very serious when Fanny invaded their meeting. They didn't look overly pleased, presumably because she came clutching her phone.
Sounds as though she was a little concerned that Potty and IJ/PA were having a little meeting without her and had to hotfoot it to Isabelle's apartment to see what was going on without her.
 
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JackSpratt

VIP Member
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Here's hoping for a better 2023, 2022 has been an awful one but thank you all for making me laugh through the bad moments. Xx
 
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mrsp67

VIP Member
Meant to say there is a blog on tinternet from June 2014 by someone called Colleen Alberti who with a friend went to stay at Tess’s chateau de Rochefolle for a week. In this blog she mentions that Tess and her then partner Chris took them to shittooville as Chris was going to move some furniture for Fanny. The good part is that they ended up playing tennis on the weedy overgrown court whilst they WAITED for Fanny to show up. She is so unbelievably rude keeping someone who is there to do her a favour waiting, I know in this case it was only Tess and her partner who are also pretty abysmal specimens of humanity but Fanny constantly being late for everything is just showing her contempt for everyone else.
People who are late all the time are rude humans. If you KNOW you are late all the time then it’s on purpose.
 
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Pekey

VIP Member
Well, well, well ..... the old boy finally is a VIP !!! 🥂

Watch ..... he will be buying a Chateau soon ;):love:
 
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Clara Burnett

VIP Member
Dear Lord, pass me the sick bucket..

Dear Brenda's latest offerings....

'As we near the end of 2022, & take a glance back at what has been achieved with The Christmas Diaries, Advent series & The Chateau Diaries channel itself since it started in Autumn 2018, the growth is amazing.
With over 213k subscribers, 71 million views on the You Tube channel, charitable donations, providing employment & of course restoring the Chateau & Grounds,
This year's Advent series, has been the best yet, in terms of views, with almost 2.5million under its belt!
The growth is due to a number of factors, there is no denying Stephanie's determination to produce her vlogs every week regardless of any mishaps is a key point. The content is varied & interesting & of course the steady flow of volunteers & family members who contribute to daily life putting their twist to the script. Not forgetting our joy at seeing old faces returning for flying visits..it all adds to the charm & attraction.
Mummy's straight forward approach, frugal & sensible at all times...Stephanie's eccentricity....which brings out the part of us that has secretly wished we hadn't always made the "easy" choice...Tatinette, this petite character with so much love & encouragement to give, an Aunt & God Mother who has influenced Stephanie through out her life...introducing her to frivolous beauty, nurturing a love of all things nice...especially Christmas....Scotman/Gerald....Stephanie's brother in every way, whilst not a blood relative, he has taken the role of custodian which was placed on him as a teenager when he used to look after the baby Stephanie, A bond was created in those very early days.....that will never be broken!!. Always there....always on the sidelines if he is needed,for friendly advice, a reality check....or a cuddle when the day has been tough!.....Derek Jarvis will be very proud of how he has looked after the apple of his eye in his absence, the two college friends, Michael & Nic who supported her dream of living in a castle...they supported her when things weren't so promising...now she has the opportunity to return that loyalty by improving the chateau & fulfilling those dreams to reality. Amaury the supportive cousin who will tackle anything & protect her at all costs. Philip, the softly spoken volunteer, who has ended up being so much more...her support, her encouragement, her constant....her rock...& very clearly the love of her life.
Of course we also have the staff..Kirsty & her team in the garden, Natalia & the B& B team, Nick the groundsman etc....all contributing to the success.
Of course you, the followers & patrons play the biggest role. Without your continued support, there would be no Chateau Diaries. Your ongoing interest & viewing of Stephanie's vlogs is a tremendous bonus to her channel, she is very aware of this, & is eternally grateful for your support.
The new has lots to offer, Amaury will be undertaking the structural work....phase 1 of the heating installation will begin, the Chapel Restoration stage 1 will commence, the garden plans will evolve & in between rooms & areas will be tweaked.....so much to keep us occupied & interested.
Some day in the very distant future, when we are sitting in our rocking chairs on the porch, we can reminisce how we contributed to the restoration of a 16th century chateau in France, called, Chateau de Lalande, that will be enjoyed by many more generations because of our help!!!!!
Team work makes dreams work.......well done everyone xx'
Can somebody with access to this group please post the list of unfinished projects underneath? No Brenda, not some day. Go sit in your rocking chair and reminisce how you contributed to the destruction of a 16th century French farmhouse that will no longer be enjoyed by future generations because of some fool decided to play out her childhood fantasies instead of restoring it like she promised.
 
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Karma baby!

VIP Member
Holly Rosenfeld
2h
I really thought you finally broke down x got a pet! 🤣🤣🤣 I don’t like the cliffhanger, did the pigeon leave? 🤣

Same Holly! Same! I want to know what happened to him...
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Colin & Terri Rankin

2h
I re-watched Riccardo's dance so many times. Your Uncle's expression was hilarious! Great dancing, Riccardo!

Shhhh Colin & Terri... send your 3some request privately!
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Michael T

1h
As for the recalcitrant pigeon (by the name of Noel?), perhaps leaving a trail of breadcrumbs leading to the open window would have coaxed your avian guest to check out earlier. I've read that it worked for Hansel and Gretel.

Pay attention Michael! His name is Peregrine!
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Kayla Robbins
59min
I raise many birds, pigeons included. That one is pretty 'puffed' up and calm/lethargic. When I see that I usually suspect lice or mites. Which if he did have those I would watch your chickens and peackocks closely. I have had wild pigeons bring parasites to my pigeons and chicken flock many times. I would do some routine checks under wings and around their vents to make sure they have not gotten anything. If they have some permethrin dust or spray will fix them right up!

Yay! We now officially have lice at the shitto!
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Jane Nunn
23min
do you rehearse all the vlogs now Steph? are they not live and spontaneous? When did you start? Not like the good old days hahaha when you started and its was live and natural and rare haha that must be making for a lot more work..

Who's gonna tell Jane? 😬
 
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Yebo

VIP Member
reading this blog is like peeling an onion... layer after layer the heart of the matter gets revealed. I wonder how close we are to the truth of what's going. Aside from the jokes and the venting I suspect we are pretty damn close... and getting closer. If my hunch is correct I think that Fanny and the crime family are close to being officially revealed... For whomdoes the bell toll? The bell tolls for thee Fanny ... actually it's Billy going like a maniac at his convent bell ha ha ha

Goodness! Ms. Gooder has been busy sorting out the timeline of things that need to be done! I think this series of posts were done by Potts this time around. Very good grammar, so not Phyllis or Nati. Too organized, so not Fanny. Maybe that's what the meeting in Ma's apartment was about?
Maybe one of us should start mimicking Caroline Gooder and start answering questions as if we knew what the hell we were saying just anything that comes into our minds at the time, a sort of stream of consciousness. I suggest we call her Annabel Better
 
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Clara Burnett

VIP Member
My grandfather was a judge. If he was consulted by Fanny he would tell her to do what's right, reinstate the Patrons as members, show contrition and then throw herself at the mercy of the court. As a child I was terrified of him. He could stop any bad behaviour with just one look ha ha.
Haha indeed, I can only imagine. If I may, one word of advice: keep the talking here to a minimum. You don't want to warn them you are coming after them and also, we don't want our expectations raised again. I know I don't.
 
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Clara Burnett

VIP Member
@Yebo, I think it might be a “Gooder” idea to have your group speak to Tess. To me, she doesn’t really seem like a true friend to Stephanie and probably has a lot of tea to spill to the right person. Tess and Steph seem to have a weird & twisted past that definitely leads me to think she has a bit of an agenda. Shared boyfriends over the years and jealousy over Stephanie’s newer YouTube “fame” and notoriety don’t sound like the basis of a rock solid bff relationship. 🤷‍♀️
Oh, there is certainly no love lost between the two of them. When Tess Hoffman was with her previous boyfriend Adam Guettel, he and his money provided her with a new entourage and a life away from Le Berry. She would often engage in publicly badmouthing her before bff Stephanie Jarvis, underlining how cheap and mean the charlataine is and how fortunate she felt not to ever have to go to the CHMN again. But hey, dynamics have changed now that she is going to marry in her old neighborhood again, so she needs to socialize to find new "friends" for herself and her creepy plastic child to play with and fight the boredom. Because she's even lazier than the charlataine and also without any morals, they reconnected to parasitize of each other once again. By now, I expect the badmouthing is reserved for private sessions with Dana, her closest friend at the moment.
 
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T Rex

VIP Member
Thank you @Karma baby! and @OhIDontKnow... for the fabulous Patreon recaps! I will make you both some very strong drinks in the VIP lounge. (Even though @MojoDublin banned me from making drinks behind the bar due to my small arms, you both truly deserve cocktails right now!)

Speaking of VIPs, Congratulations to our latest, @Gertrude Maud! Step right up to the bar- I will be your bartender this evening (until someone shuts me down!)🍾
 
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