The Chateau Diaries #167 SJ and PJ's love child would be... A cabbage bowl wearing a 100 stars scarf...

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I propose that we super-cleaners unite and crash patron days. Maybe dressed in French maid outfits? Let’s do what we can before we get busted. On our way out, let’s sharpie lil’ dicks all over the downstairs loo wallpaper. (Someone suggested the wallpaper idea before & I just love it.) Any takers?
 
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It's the only way I know of to access the Patreon videos and make them available here.
It sounded like some were giving it up so I wasn’t sure!

I propose that we super-cleaners unite and crash patron days. Maybe dressed in French maid outfits? Let’s do what we can before we get busted. On our way out, let’s sharpie lil’ dicks all over the downstairs loo wallpaper. (Someone suggested the wallpaper idea before & I just love it.) Any takers?
I love cleaning floorboards at night when I can’t sleep 🙋🏼‍
 
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Ummmmm…. I am just going to throw this out “there”……….. I truly hope Simon has another stream of income……… pretty sure this music isn’t gonna pay for a Chateau!
Hi @Shari Holloway ! I've been wondering where you've been hiding, as you don't post very often! Good to see you! I think Simon is in IT, comes from an affluent family and music is his many hobbies (he also has a YT channel on different machines- he is a tinkerer, which is not often showcased on Chateau Love oddly.)
 
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My cleaning arsenal consists of Foaming Spray Bleach, Glass Plus, Clorox Kitchen Wipes, Lysol Spray Disinfectant, original scent Pine Sol, Pledge spray furniture polish, Scrubbing Bubbles flushable toilet scrubbers, Magic Erasers and paper towels. Also, a broom and shop vac as needed. I would just go room to room in that grungy chateau. I will also need a partner to handle washing and dry cleaner trips for the bed linens, curtains & towels throughout. Afterwards, I would give some serious motherly tough love talks about cleanliness and picking up after yourself.
Speed cleaning from top to bottom, most important to be efficient. Motherly tough love needed by Isabelle, if she ever gets there. I don't believe that Isabelle and Percy seem to be in any rush to get to LL and odd to me that SJ and her boyfriend are going on a trip with Baghead instead of visiting Jo Mama.
 
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Dear God... I can never unsee this. What that woman did to perfectly innocent food in the name of "gastronomy" was a crime. Hacking away with dull knives, boiling a single sweet potato for an hour to serve it with no butter or seasoning as a garnish -- it was appalling. But I just about shit myself when she said she was doing something "in the French way". Apologize to France bitch!!!

I do not watch her videos. Why are they made at the Shitoo?
 
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Philip has really ruined everything.
I'm not a Philip fan, but it's Stephanie who ultimately controls her brand and decides who she trusts or not. She chose Philip, so she ruined her own thing!
 
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I am a lurker and I honestly do enjoy TCD most of the time... BUT... I really am baffled by SJ trying to "Marie Kondo" and then buying what is honestly tat from brocantes etc. The amount of junk in the chateau is making her dream renovations impossible as they keep getting sidetracked by teeny projects because there are so many distractions.
It does make me sad as I really enjoyed seeing progress on bigger projects and enjoy before/after footage of renovations.
Another thing that KILLS ME - in the entrance hall, the day bed has a MATTRESS on it with a pashmina or something wrapped around it and you can see the mattress. It's quite a lovely room and I just can't believe they wouldn't bother to upholster such a major piece, meanwhile they're faffing about with toile in frames?!
I get that emergencies like floods etc will set back certain projects but we were promised a plan and that she was working with a project manager for a proper plan of works. Everything seems so chaotic although I appreciate we only see snippets.
I also miss her older style of informative content - it suits her much better than when she's hyper and overdelivering. She is really knowledgable about certain things and that really added depth to her videos as opposed to the often inane commentary we get (like the other day when she made a massive fuss about the robe she had been gifted... it was so over the top I thought it had to surely be paid promotion??)
You're almost completely cured from the disease she spreads (and I don't mean Covid, even though she has been known to be pretty careless when it comes to appropriate and sensible behavior during the pandemic) and the lies she tells. You see her for the fraud she is, now admit she always was and you were fooled by her smoke and mirrors. I guarantee you are not the only one!
 
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I have never seen a tv program with Bill Bensley, but I did see him spotlighted once on some sort of show about architects who designed green space hotels. I love his work and also have his book, Paradise by Design - his work is masterful and beautiful!
I think he did a couple of series for TV. His husband is the garden designer although Bill studied garden design at Uni in America. As we talk design, taste, quirky about Bill we certainly can't ascribe that definition to Fanny can we?!! Who the heck would pay top rates in her shithole when you could stay in Bill's treehouse on the Mekong!
 
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Philip has really ruined everything.
I actually didn’t mind him at all when he first arrived. Even felt some of the criticism was unfair. Now, however, I can see that the train really did jump the track after his arrival. Everything changed and not for the better. I think Patreon also contributed to the change. I am sure the whole love and laughter gimmick was BS all along but it was more believable in the beginning. There was a simplicity and lightness that’s been missing for a very long time. Now it’s all timeline manipulation and half truths and a definite lack of give a shit. Sad to think of the opportunity that was wasted.
 
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Dear Chateau Diaries patrons,

Your Patreon donations to the Tax Free Association total over $30,000 per month. Over $360,000 per year.

And THIS is what you get in return:

View attachment 1471211

Second-hand store garbage no one else wanted. It was done cheaply and looks cheap. A picture is worth a thousand words.
I can’t even....

It was a toss up! 🤦🏼‍♀️
 
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In typical SJ fashion she put out the first announcement and asked everyone to email. Last week she asked everyone to email again. They could not organize a picnic lunch for 2. Numnuts
She has been made aware that by calling her scam an Association and arranging for it to be tax free, and, more stupidly, publicly identifying even her lowest tier patrons as members of that Association, she is indeed beholden to organize a meeting for those members at least once a year. She was shocked at the idea and still is terrified, but someone in her close entourage (can't name names as I have heard this in a private conversation) has convinced her that this only needs to be a thing on paper and will not actually have to take place. The call to email is about all her patrons will hear about it.

Can you imagine the mood Isabelle will be in when she returns and sees the syste of the place.
I gave up thinking about Isabelle Jarvis' mood a long time ago, as it will have no bearing on any of the activities anyway. She will never be anything more than the clown you meet in your nightmare, desperate for some comic relief from the horror endured, yet always to be disappointed again because she is the horror, personified.
 
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She has been made aware that by calling her scam an Association and arranging for it to be tax free, and, moe stupidly, calling even her lowest tier patrons members of that Association, she is indeed beholden to organize a meeting for those members at least once a year. She was shocked at the idea and still is terrified, but someone in her close entourage (can't name names as I have heard this in a private conversation) has convinced her that this only needs to be a thing on paper and will not actually have to take place. The call to email is about all her patrons will hear about it.
Then I hope it will be her undoing. Horrible way to treat people.
 
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Lighting is hard to get right at first. My ex would only allow me 3 table lamps in the whole of the house and 2 of those were in our bedroom. After he left I was on a mission to fill the house with table tamps. There were a few failures and I have somehow ended up with 19 lamps and 3 floor lamps.🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️
Having now worked out what works and doesn’t I find I only need 10 and 3 floor lamps so I need to get my act together and sell some on market place. Don’t even start me on how many lampshades I have🫣🫣. In my defence I did a couple of lampshade making courses so I had to practice at home. Think I should sell most of those as well. I have a bit of a weird one which could be spooky to some people, but it’s a copy of one sold in the Jasper Conran shop for around £410.
My favourite is my Ordenance Survy map one which I made featuring the area of Hampshire I originate from.


Whoops now I’ve derailed.😔
Lovely, unique and tasteful!!! Many custom shades I’m not wild about but these I really admire and would use! What great conversation starters! Sorry- I’m not coming up with good adjectives- have my 5 yr old little grand daughter overnight tonight (helping out her Mom). So my mind is a little frazzled! 😜
Wonderful bespoke shades you created!!! I’m loving the whimsical birds on shade frames- would love those in my sunroom! *In EU I believe it’s solarium or conservatory- 5 yr old calling it the “light room” lately!!! 😂
 
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