The Chateau Diaries #102 Happy Loo Year, Fanny! The Bleu Loogoon Ain’t Finished Yet!”

[Espe]

Well, Selmar has made another attempt to get some more supporters. He and T are now getting desperate and at last may be realising that they are not going to get the money to fund the chateau. However, each vlog attempt to summon up support gets worse. This time, he's trying to demonstrate that he has appropriate experience to organise festivals. It's a horrible failure as it's patently obvious that what he thinks is relevant experience is just the fact that he has attended various festivals and dressed up in costumes. He even stated that he had "visited many chateaux", this was on his walks and bike rides in France with Diesel and is totally irrelevant. He also mentions that he has been to some mediaeval villages and the festivals will be mediaeval ones! He shows photos of the chateaux, villages, and even churches, that he showed in his boring vlogs. To attempt to give credibility, he mentions the names of bands who have played at the festivals he attended and says they will be playing, I doubt if he's actually asked them. He also has pictures of glamping facilities and tents with chairs and tables. Either these are from festivals he's attended or they are taken from other people's advertisements. He also mentions a firm who makes eco-toilets. None of this shows that he or Tatty have any relevant experience of organising anything except his extremely sad and boring looking "mystic salon" tango sessions! The English in his titles is appalling. As T is a native speaker, surely she could have edited that for him! I don't think I have ever seen anyone so delusional. Go back home, Selmar, and if you think your dance salons worked, carry on doing that. If SJ allows them to remain at LL and run a festival there, she's a lot dafter than I thought!

 

[Lady Avonlea]

On January 6, 2020 (pre-covid), SJ did a vlog entitled 'The Monthly Costs of Running of a French Chateau'. It's now been 2 years and this was the last time, I recall, she's discussed finances because we're now still waiting on the accountant. It's interesting that their initial plan was to fix up the shitoo & sell it after 5 years for a profit. The plan was never to run a B&B and SJ admits that had they known how much it cost to run they never would have purchased. She doesn't really like to work and definitely doesn't like to clean.

SJ admitted that she's a lousy business woman and that both Nic and Potty (mostly Potty) had been pestering her to track & better manage costs.
The biggest monthly cost was ofcourse heating/water, so logically this is what most normal people would address first to better manage, but not our Stephanmeme! Apparently she only spent 250 Euro/month on maintenance (underestimated), which is the same amount she spent on decoration each month, so ofcourse the heating/water system is now a disaster.

They'd owned the shitoo for 16 years and still hadn't turned a profit. The monthly (under)estimated running costs of 3,503 Euro's was subsidied by Nic, Potty, SJ's London flat rental and the B&B business which was quite small before being exposed on Escape to the Chateau . To keep throwing good money after bad, none of the 3 owners had any sense, Yet she always had money to travel????

SJ dreams of a beautiful garden, lake and swimming pool (among other things)

So now they have almost 10x the monthly income - where the hell is the money and what are they doing with it??? Exactly what has been accomplished in the past 2 years??? Damn little and virtually no restoration.
- built their own apartments (Mummy, Potty, Nic's bathroom upgrade, Gerry unfinsihed and Natti unfinished)
- planted a few trees & semi-finished pergola
- installed a water pipe to the walled garden
- constructed a compost bin
- ripped out a few trees
- fixed 1 stained glass window
- repaired the tile drainage on the back terrace,
- semi-finished downstairs 2 piece loo
- semi-finished upstairs pink bathroom
- ripped out an upstairs wall
- cleaned out the moat
- constructed some beds
- cleared out/reinforced part of the attic for Narnia (which will likely fall through the ceiling with the added weight)
- laid stones in the driveway
- tacky decoration (pigeon tower & limoge tower)
- ruined expensive wallpaper in front reception, downstairs loo and Marquis Suite
- cleaned out her closet only to refill it again
If there is more I honestly can't recall.

Yet the constant buying continues because one can never have too much Spode, and a global pandemic won't stop Stephameme from travelling around the globe ,only now with her insipid toyboy in tow!

But with patrons & viewers, SJ now has an obligation for financial transparency. SJ knows administration/finances aren't her forte so she'll try to put it off as long as she can, but the tax man cometh and the patrons are getting restless.

The don't like Squirrelboy's involvement, so the pressure is also building from both Nic and Potty, and SJ is feeling the heat. Undoubtly some home truths and direct words were spoken between the 3 owners over the holidays (no Sunday vlog?) SJ is a resourceful charmer, but something has to give and her charade won't last forever. Tick Tok.....

 

[ComtesseRose]

С Новым Годом.

Thank you La Jarvis, for bringing like-minded people from around the world together. LOL.
- back to my Asti and Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark.

 

[Reader's digest]

So for sure SJ and her little peanut are REALLY BOTH on their way to SA now???
I am foggier than usual.
What did I miss???

What did you miss? I am happy to tell you: Phil was scheduled to play in a great musical in the Netherlands. You know that he is a musical actor? Not yet though he is still a student, but soon. Not soon though because he took a gap year. Not one gap year though but two. Once the second gap year is over he plans to do a sabbatical. Or two or three. Anyway... He went there a couple of times for rehearsals, once even with Stephanie's car. To save money. That's why S went with a rental to Emaus to buy more dishes though she promised long time ago to not buy any other dishes. Since the China room is not finished yet. Because Ians 1 to 5 have no time to do it. Anyway... He also had some rehearsals via zoom and practiced very often. Even in Paris. Where they went, of course not to buy dishes because Stephanie possibly couldn't carry them on the train. But cutlery. Because both if them loooove cutlery. But you probably know that....Anyway... Because of the new covid wave the musical was cancelled, you know, because it's not a pleasure to hear actors sing through a mask, also there is a rumor that people could get infected in crowded places. Though Phil wouldn't mind, he doesn't use his nose for breathing anyway. And that's why he has time now to fly to South Africa. Stephanie has ambivalent feelings though, on the one hand it's cool to have her personal assistant with her, on the other hand staff costs next to nothing in SA, (and they are sooo grateful there) so why waste a business flight on him? Patreons might ask questions, too. On the other hand they might ask questions if he doesn't come, too. And she certainly doesn't want to proove this horrible hate site right, which predicted that she will kick him out 2022....feel free to ask if you need further assistance!

 

[MojoDublin]

Whom styled it better ??

Whom wore it better

Curtis that’s just naughty

Best we let them have the last word

 

[Arfarf]

So sorry to hear that you and your son are feeling so poorly. Sending lots of loving thoughts your way. Keep us up to date with your family's progress. xxx. How old is your son?

I am so behind. He is 31 and my youngest who has a drug addiction. Which throws a big wrench in quarantine and in how he feels.
Had to drive him to the ER this a.m. Everything was as good as it can be with a non compliant type 1 diabetic. Now THERE is a mouth full!
Husband is working doubles at the hospital this weekend and was tested negative so he is banned from the house.
My oldest took my 89 year old mother yesterday to get a test at our local hospital ( it took some lying to get the nurse to send over an order) but otherwise around here at the health department and pharmacies the earliest we could get her tested was Jan 4th....and she too was positive. She has had her vaccines.

Only can call her to check up on. She has Alzheimer's so I had to remind her twice in a 10 minute conversation that she has covid. She is asymptomatic at the present time...thank goodness.
When it rains ( actually raining here all day!) It POURS!!!

 

[Jeeves]

@LaFrancaise123 if you are not British, then do not lecture me on anything British, just take it from me that I know a lot more about my culture than you do! And as for the "Just saying" don't be so bloody condescending who do you think you are?

Isabelle was married to an ENGLISH man, lived in ENGLAND, had a daughter educated in ENGLAND and therefore knows more about British humour or what we call "banter". And Isabelle knows more about British humour than somebody who joined a hate group a few months ago and talks a load of shit most of the time ... just saying !!!

How incredibly rude!
For the record, it doesn't look like British banter to me and neither does your response. @LaFrancaise123 - I apologise for the rudeness you have been subjected to by someone who claims to be British and hope he will have the decency to do the same thing himself.

 

[Clara Burnett]

I'm curious .... do you feel the community has changed over time and you can express a different opinion more than before? Or did you change how you engaged in the community?

I'm amazed when I read back in the really early threads how much tattlers still like SJ and were fans, they liked her style and decor, they just really were skeptical about GAG at that time. Now it seems like most will agree to her narcissistic traits, back then when @sandro37 first talked about it there was major resistance.

I like to point out and let it be known that I have never ever liked SJ, was never a fan, I flat out hate her style (what style?) and her decor (that shit?) and was never afraid to voice my disgust. Ha! From the day I met SJ, in real life, I have known she's a narc and I have always tried to keep my distance, not to get involved and fly beneath her radar.

 

[oooLaLande]

Hello tattlers and happy belated New Year!

I took a couple of days off from the world and just occasionally read here.. because of course., tattle is life!

A few notes from shattoverse:

- SJ & BJJ off to SA... I really hope they close up the borders while they are in SA so they are stuck with IJ and Percy... makes for real good Kardashian-esque reality TV content!

- AnnMarie and Nutty... Why is it that in every photo she looks psyched and he looks just about done with this shit? She really thinks having won the clickbait cuz, she will have a revenue stream of her own?... oh dear nutcase, not gonna happen!

- Dan the tired Man, I relate with him being there for his friend.. I have done my friends a lot of favours like driving them to far far destinations just because they didn't have a car... and then the same friends have betrayed me in ways that pushed the boundaries of creativity! I hope Annmarie is a better, more grateful friend and not an asshole!

- Selmar & Tatty.. are we still talking about them?

- Rien (It took me reading a few posts and thinking hard to figure out that's Ryan! LOL).. please god, the last thing we need is another grifter shitto owner!

 

[Madame No]

While I don't wish covid on anyone, I have been entertaining a fantasy where the Shatolaine and her Consnort get stuck in SA, Ann Murry and Nuti get stuck in The Argentine, and Dan and family take a trip back to jolly old England and get stuck there. Meanwhile back at the shatoo, the pipes burst, a short in the wiring sets the place ablaze, and the woodland creatures invade what's left and set up house. Up drives poor old Dulmar alone and dejected after failing his quest to produce a unicorn for the evil fairy. Dulmar shakes his rats nest of hair, sighs, and whispers, "All the life, love and laughter is gone!"

 

[Phoenix Richards-Bingham]

I'm just skipping through the pages lately, missing HUGE chunks of conversations along the way, but with how my life is going right now, it's the only way I can stay up with you guys! If I miss "liking", "loving", "laughing", etc., etc.,.....any of your posts, it's not because I'm not appreciating all of the time and sentiment you're all putting into these important pages, it's just that I don't have time or energy to read them all. I appreciate my wonderful Tattler family, never doubt that! And I want to wish you ALL a Happy New Year, with health, wealth and MUCH laughter....kick 2021's ass to the curb and make 2022 your BITCH, baby!!!!!

 

[OhIDontKnow...]

Suggestions
- Stephanme’s 2022 Resolutions – Absolutely None,
- 2022 - Carry on Grifting!

This got me wanting to speculate as to all the Shitoo characters New Years Resolutions! Let’s play!

Dan the Man - Stop Hiding from His Family so Much.
Kirsty - Save more Wildlife
Nick the Tree Viking - Plant more Christmas Trees
Maria the Sparrow - Stop Fixing Everything
Sabine the Land Girl - Try to Lodge Foot in Mouth Less Often
Play Mobile Davy - Plant LESS Trees in Granite
Dana - More Styling for Hairs
Mummy - To Attend Anger Management Classes
Gerry - To Try to Come out of His Shell a Bit More
Cat - To STAY AWAY from the Shitoo
Hanni - Drink Less Magnums of Champs
Potty - Avoid ALL Vacations with Snorts
Ruthy Writer - To HIDE MORE
Nic Larkin - TO ARGUE MORE! Off to a good start!
M. Pathetic - To Commune with Nature More
Snorts - To Become Proficient in CHAMBER POTS
Fanny - To TRY to wear Underwear SOMETIMES

HAPPY FUCKING NEW YEAR!

 

[Jikki2]

No sooner we leave the unfinished looney loo behind than we hear about another goon returning to France. Normally, the hanger-on Rien is not worth a mention but his latest clickbait got me laughing.

In case you didn't know, though it's been mentioned, Rien is planning to return to France and buy a property for renovation. He's lack of original ideas is not the only laughable thing but he plans on paying for the venture with YouTube income, his web hosting and a bank loan.

First of all, the web hosting job is a joke. Rien doesn't even know what web hosting means. He doesn't own a server to host anything. He simply updates the websites for his uncle and Begmania, and probably buys the server space on behalf of them. And for that to pay for anything, he must be asking for extortionate prices because the service can be bought for about 20€/month.

Second, how the hell is this greasy piece of stale meat going to secure a bank loan? His YouTube is hardly getting views and must earn him a pittance. Oh, but his family is used to buying and renovating properties in France so they are the real lenders, I suppose.

No begging was mentioned but who's willing to bet a pie on how soon a Buy-Me-A-Life scheme is set up?

Cherry on top, Rien is in no particular hurry to return to France immediately. But dear Rien, in about two weeks you would have spent six months in Thailand and lost your right to reside in France. I hope the French immigration services are alerted.

 

[KiKiGee]

@Arfarf

 

[Beau Monde]

Well, anyway, counting down to New Years here in the American Midwest, Thank you, Tattlers for helping to keep me sane. I have learned a lot from you. ( I don't mean just about pig's trotters and clotted cream)! I know those things are boring to most of you, but that is some exotic shit to us Yanks! Sorry to the person who reported me 23 times for going off topic about pie. I did not mean to irk you. I am genuinely interested in food and customs from other countries. Oh, look: its the New Year here, too. Happy New Year, Tartlet/Tattlers!

 

[Green Fairy]

Have you watched #38 when Marie dents the Jaguar? Mummy at her best!

I like the one where SJ is in her bedroom and receives various texts from the household saying 'Mummy is on the warpath'. SJ goes to the kitchen and finds IJ ranting about something in the laundry. When she realises Fanny is filming she immediately starts smiling. Such frauds.

 

[Patriciarella]

So Snorty has been filming GAG for over a year and:
He still cannot focus on items
He still never shuts up
He gets shots up ladies skirts, etc.
He does weird close ups
He still has that one weird hair, uggh
FIRE him as cameraman, volunteer, chicken chaser, singer and stylist he’s not good at these just let him hold your purse.

 

[Veda Pierce]

A Beautiful beautiful New Year to all!!

 

[MojoDublin]

Kind of quiet from the shittoo front, not much leaking from last night's party. i wondered why so asked around and it turns out, no surprise there: it was boring af, SJ and her poodle retreated to their pink puked bedroom early, only to reappear shortly before twelve, not for the company but for the pictures/vlog. Also there seems to be a bit of tension between SJ and Larkin, can't really put a finger on it just yet but they were certainly arguing earlier that day. PoodleBoy seems to have taken all the harsh comments rather personal: he's not as cheerful as he was when their relationship was outed.

Need you to do a little … eyes on !!

Ok can I point out one thing -
Larkin n Marie own Their gite
Now apart from a quick dusting and light the fire change bed linen
Get the fuck out of my gite -

if I wanted it decorated ( apparently SSB is going to do it - no doubt at patrons expenses hope Larkin STUNG her with that one )

Your new Furbie decides I’ve to many chairs and he’ll hang my artwork and decide what furniture I’ll have TO his taste

I’d have ripped SSB a new hole
How triple fucking dare you let your pet lose on my … holiday home

She has AMPLE time to get it updated befor Christmas
But her nocturnal pursuits seem to take priority - with keeping furbie amused

So here SSB
Here’s a little insight

Your going off with furbie avoiding ppl is him isolating you because of his own insecurities….
Ya think your mother was bad !!!
Your paying him and then minding him cos he’s not adult enough to be there

Watch chateau love -

watch his face as he navigated the conversation … judging
When you would all listen to his incorrect choice … that was directed at YOU with authority

He better be the climax of the century
You’ll have no true friends left
When you get rid

 

[Clara Burnett]

That might be S&T's ticket for coming back to LaLaLand.

I'm quite sure they are not welcome anymore. Maybe when SJ is there, for a short visit to pick up things (and Ruby), but certainly not when she's not there. She does not trust Tats at all.