The advice thread for random problems

[Purrrrrrr]

I have reread your initial question and realise you wondered what we think the person wanted. After rereading, I wonder if they wanted a local chauffer (because maybe friends and family have said no), to take her places on demand, I get the feeling the garden centre trip would be the first of many... If she really needed to speak to someone it wouldn't need to be any specific place, a message or phonecall should be sufficient. My MIL had a friend like this, MIL basically became her chauffer and the requests/demands kept coming in, until MIL said 'no more'.

I think she’s just after a lift as well

Yes!! That is what she wanted. I thought she wanted to chat over coffee as she was having some problems.
but turns out after my long reply saying sadly I could not take her there but I can chat if she would like that. but got a awful reply back from her.

Let me fetch mine and her replies and will post now. I got it wrong but you two would have known. hahaha

My reply... ( next morning)


Hi blank
lovely to hear from you. Unfortunately I am agoraphobic and although I now go out. meeting up with a stranger in a strange place would be impossible. But I don't mind chatting here, maybe until we know each other better? ... Also do you go to stand in the park etc? My daughter goes there to chat with like minded people and they also meet up on a Tuesday evening at a local pub. its very casual and people just drop in and out as the feel... I could find out the details if you like? my daughter is coming here this morning to pick up her children, so can ask her then? But if not you can always chat with me here . Many of us are suffering right now, it's been and still is a very intense time. You are not on your own or alone. xx



Her reply to that


Hi Purrrrrrr Thanks for replying.
Firstly, I have myself a lift.
Secondly, please don’t be offended by what I am about to say but I don’t do long chats on text behind a screen. It’s avoiding the issue. I have managed mild agoraphobia for over 30 years as a result of a sexual attack from which I possibly saved myself. I used cognitive behavioural therapy to help deal with the problem which has largely worked except when it comes to being in isolated spots outside. I worked taxis into my budget for many years for dealing with the isolated areas but now the money has run out. This is the resurfaced issue in recent weeks that is my main mental health issue now. I have been very fortunate in that for all the years I did community campaigning for which I asked for nothing in return people have helped me a lot in recent weeks and been incredibly supportive. I have also reached out to new neighbours in face, not from a computer or behind a screen. I feel so very sad for you that you are going to spend your days behind a screen which without I’m sorry to have to say will achieve nothing. I’m not going to waste my days on negativity and social media. I spend hours daily doing meditation which helps me a lot. No I’m not on my own because I’m reaching out to the right people. But you are Purrrrrrr and I feel very sad for you that you are. Look after yourself X

 

[Carapop]

I’ve had to cancel my DEXA. i wish that was still all I had to worry about.

My mum who I was talking to this morning is now in intensive care and we have been asked to come home. How does someone go from having breakfast in the morning to fighting for her life?! I haven’t really connected it with being my mum. Right now it’s at all happening to someone else somewhere else.

this isn’t the thread for this. Sorry Everyone! I’m just counting hours to the train home in morning and not sure what to be doing

 

[Purrrrrrr]

Thank you everyone. due to your responses I have contacted the admin of the local groups so they can discreetly find out if anyone else has been contacted as her first post says people who used to help her are not responding anymore , so this could be a pattern and people intimidated ( after helping in all good nature) into giving her money and or lifts etc..

 

[newaccount2022]

Blonde angel you’re putting wayyy too much time into this non issue 🫣 absolutely no reason to message him, archive that chat and put the phone down!!!

 

[Justhereforthebantslll]

I personally don’t think he would feel like he “got to” you if you blocked him. How I see it. That’s how you take back your power.

I don’t want to be rude when I say this, but. He didn’t want to message you last time he unblocked you. You started the chat and he blocked you because he got a reaction from you. He’s more than likely unblocked you again hoping for the same. Probably wont message you back. But he will be sat there smug thinking “Haha, see I got her where I want her. I block her. Unblock her and she comes running”. You blocking him not only sends the message to him your not interested in his pathetic games. It also stops him from blocking and unblocking you in the future

 

[Purrrrrrr]

I often want to ask for advice on something but don't want to start a new thread, I thought maybe we could have one thread where we can try to help each other.


I have two questions

I am hanging a TV today has anyone done this on their own, is it easier to dismantle the swivel bracket and then put the bracket back together rather than trying to hang and screw in the whole thing?


Also, has anyone got the LED strip lights on their TV and does it make viewing better or worse?

 

[Purrrrrrr]

Gosh you’re so kind and compassionate to even consider anyone else in this circumstance. I have no words of advice but wanted to say that. And I’m so so sorry for your loss.

Thank you.
I always put myself in the place of others. it's just something I have always done. I can say hand on my heart, their place was somewhere I never want to find myself. I know I would never forgive myself if that were my dog out on a walk with me and having to tell someone a loved pet was dead because of another loved pet. They were very brave and very kind to do everything to find out where little Cous lived. They could have just pretended it never happened, as no one see it happen, left me forever wondering where he was and what had happened to him I am grateful they didn't

Talking about it has helped so thank you everyone

 

[newaccount2022]

As a completely non violent person I’ve never wanted to punch someone in the face more than this woman. I have her full name and they wouldn’t even put us in contact to sort out swapping the bags because of GDPR. I tried to find her myself but it’s a basic name. I’m with my boyfriend here so I have backup if she was a weirdo I’m more pissed because I’m not rich in the slightest and that bag was something I saved sooooo long for as a treat to myself and she’s took it I hope she has a horrible life going forward

I would be kicking up so much more of a stink about this. Have you blasted the airport and the airline on Twitter? Did she leave the airport with the suitcase or did the theft take place in the airport?

Did you take pictures of her suitcase? I’d be posting online blasting her full name and the flight origin destination time etc etc, I’d be naming out anything identifiable about the case.

Definitely report it to police, get the pulse number and share it with the airport, find specific names and numbers and emails of high up people in the airline and the airport, give these to the police then write your own emails to all of them CC’ing the station/policeman.

And yes I would absolutely show up to the airport for the flight home ready to SWING at anyone who has the same case as you. I’d be on the loudspeaker at the boarding desk roaring ‘JANE SMITH COME TO THE GATE’

 

[Justhereforthebantslll]

So a bit of back story.
I’m unsure of the origins of my two original cats. They were I think cousins. The cat that died was the lovable playful one and the one we still have is the diva. Hence my worries. However she was clearly heartbroken and the dilemma was, she’s always been with a feline companion. I wanted to ease her out of her grief without rushing her Ofcourse. But as stated in the thread already she did display some behaviour issues. She wasn’t using her litter box. She was being a lot more fussy wirh food. She would eat but only certain flavours. She didn’t really leave the bedroom where the cat was found.

We did end up getting the kitten. I had been toying with the idea for a while now. The girl I got the kitten off has said should I need to give her back I can do. However, I can’t realistically do that as I have three children.

The kitten came home today and so far so good! The kitten is also a mini diva but she’s settled in well already. She’s used to a busy household anyway! The cat I previously had has met the kitten but doesn’t pay her much attention. Slowly she’s getting closer to her. But we’ve had no rights or even a swipe! Also on top of that, my heartbroken cat has started coming out of her shell. I think she knew something was occurring because as the kitten was on her way to me she came into the living room and rubbed her chin on a few things and then went upstairs. Bur she’s been downstairs much more today than the past few weeks. She’s also used her litter tray! As I’ve not had any clean up missions!!

 

[ordinaryjelly]

Can't believe you're still there here's hoping you'll be home soon ...( sorry for derailing further )

235 days!

 

[mcfeez]

I think I had my drink spiked last night. I was out for a drink after dinner with my husband, one of my drinks was left to the side for a bit. He said it was like someone flicked a switch on me - I basically passed out all of a sudden and then started throwing up when I got home (I have never thrown up while drunk before). I feel dreadful today, like a hangover but times 10. Any suggestions as to how to feel better

 

[Pinhead Larry]

What would you do?

my suitcase got mixed up with someone else’s at the airport when I arrived on holiday. I took theirs back to the airport and left it locked. They must’ve guessed my lock code and stole a Chanel handbag and opened all my birthday cards and stole the one from my grandmother which had money in it.

when I get to the airport on my flight home is it worth waiting about and taking both our bags if it’s the same flight? I’ve been told there’s nothing the airline can do, and my travel insurance doesn’t cover items to the same value of the bag so all I can think is take it in to my own hands. Of course it might not be in there, the little rat might have it in their hand luggage.
I don’t know I’m just so so so so so angry

 

[Poptart]

How do you know he's unblocked you unless you were looking for him?

 

[watermelon sugar]

@Purrrrrrr mind my language but what a cunt

 

[Snowjoke]

sorry yeah on WhatsApp. Which is why I’m confused why’s he unblocked me but not messaged like what’s the point

Don’t mean to be blunt but if he wanted to message you he would. I wouldn’t worry yourself trying to figure out any reasonable explanation for it lol he doesn’t exactly sound like a catch lol

 

[justheretoread99]

I'm so glad we never had SM when I was 17. I detest how young people live their lives through it nowadays ( including my own ) .I think it holds you back in so many ways .

We had MSN and Bebo when I was 17. Facebook had only just come out but hardly no one used it. No one had a smart phone, so we could only take photos and message each other via text. That’s if we had enough credit

I agree I’m so glad there wasn’t a social media craze when I was young.

I think the likes of Instagram, TikTok and Snapchat definitely do hold people back from the real world. It’s as if the younger generation can’t communicate properly without it And the fact it’s called “social” media, it seems to make people feel lonelier.

 

[Noseyparker86]

Please don't feel bad. . Cats are pretty good at adapting. I have had a a few cats that needed rehoming due to owner circumstances and they always settle very nicely in my home. One of my cats has decided he doesn't like my kitten and has left home and moved to a house up the road I thought he loved me dearly but it was just surface love.
Cats are pretty odd things.

You have been lucky to find a place that accepted your dog.

Have you been to the police about your mum?

I can’t do it I can’t give him up, I’ve wrote a long email ready to send to the landlords once all the checks are completed asking if we can pay more to have him come with us, I’m going to say I didn’t mention it to them at the time as we knew it was likely we’d have to rehome him but I didn’t anticipate how difficult it would be. I really really hope they don’t completely back out of the tenancy once they read it but it’s a risk I’ve got to take. I need to know I exhausted all options.

 

[HoGi]

Thanks all. I will save my tenner

As someone who is child free by choice um not hot on toddlers and doorbells.

My purse is happy you all think I'm over thinking it

 

[littlepup]

Thanks, I'll definitely read an see what it says, I wish they did little jars that would be fine for one meal tbh, I don't eat processed meals an trying to think of what I can make for myself that won't result in waste is quite hard

You could make extra of the meal at the time and reheat it 2 days later.
Otherwise check the jar, usually keep refrigerated and use within 3 days.
But I hate to say it, a jar of bolognaise is processed food. There’s no difference in a jar of dolmio added to pasta to a good quality ready meal

I It makes no sense I rather him just get on to the fact I’m not bothered with him anymore

Must be bothered to put so much effort into thinking about it, making posts here, checking if he’s blocked etc
He has a girlfriend. He’s shown no interest in contacting you. Sexting isn’t a relationship in the first place. You’re absolutely wasting your time. Move on.

 

[justheretoread99]