The advice thread for random problems #7

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

If you asked to meet up with a friend twice and she’s said shes busy both times and it’s been months apart would you just leave it for them to ask next if they do at all? We don’t live near each other and only meet up a few times a year.

What kind of vibe are you feeling. I might try once more if I feel it’s genuine.
Otherwise I’d leave it to her and if I never hear from her again then I know

 

[RainbowFuzz]

Another vote for AO, I live in a flat on the second floor with no lift and they’ve delivered a washing machine and a fridge freezer to me without question and took away the old. I’m pretty certain there was a text box where you could write that you are upstairs so that they are prepared.

 

[ReginaPhalange3]

That's a life win! Sometimes the money gods know you need a little pick me up and will reward you take the win! X

I ordered some shoes on different colours as wasn't sure which I wanted. Sent 2 of 3 pairs back but had an issue with the refund taking a while. Emailed them and they've issued the refund now but I think they've refunded for all 3 pairs do I let them know or just ignore it? They've also sent it in USD not GBP which I found strange but whatever

 

[chickhicks86]

Usually the school is cashless, everything is done online even child in need was. This was a one off fun run thing.

She told her teacher and first aider it was in her throat and pointed where it was stuck. She was exactly right, the xray showed where it was. One Dr's think because she aS so violently sick it made the coin stand rather than lie flat over her breathing tubes.

Ive looked online at the school first aid policy and it say they should ring an ambulance before parents

At the point that they rang you, they didn't know about the coin though? They wouldn't ring an ambulance for a child being sick? Have you got to the bottom of why she ate the coin? I'd be more worried about that I think - how old is she?

 

[littlepup]

I'm not sure whether to mention something in my catch up with my manager. So my work team consists of 3 teams of 2 covering the day but we don't ever overlap. There are assistants who overlap with us all.

My and the person I'm with have been on the team a while. The second team hasn't start yet as the two on that team have left. The third team one of the people has joined from another department.
During the handover the other day the person who had come from the other department said to someone that they actually do their job unlike people from another team. Now she didn't like the two people that left from team 2, especially one of them and always had issues with her work.
One of the assistants told me last week that she didn't have a problem with us just the people who left and not to worry as it's definitely not us. But she said this comment about her team doing work properly unlike others since the assistant told me this. Now we are the only team she could be saying it about unless she is still talking about the team that left but they left over a month ago.

Do I mention it to my manager say I've heard from people she has been saying stuff about us? Shall I ask the assistant who originally told me it wasn't about us what she thinks?

We do all the work we need to. Their team does do an extra task however we were specifically told not to do this task. So I also didn't know whether to say something about this as I don't want the teams that take over from us to think we just aren't doing this task, as it does help the teams taking over but there is good reason why we shouldn't be doing it, as it sets out the tasks for the next shift but this needs to be checked with the managers daily to make sure they want the same things doing otherwise the same things get copied over if we do it and if they don't want it done it makes a mess of the task sheet. We did do it in the past and they changed it due to them reasons but the person from the other department is also training the people from the brand new team meaning all but my team will probably be doing this so will probably look bad on us

Ask the person themselves if possible, if it’s allowed, email maybe. Politely, like “I heard you’d been dissatisfied with some of the work of the other teams. If you feel our team isn’t doing something correctly perhaps we could discuss it and make sure the managers and new trainees are all on the same page”.
They’ll either say “no it was the ones that left”, not say anything because they don’t want confrontation or answer honestly.
If not possible then perhaps raise it with the manager but frame it as thing a good idea to get feedback from each team so that the trainees get it right going forward. “With the new starters perhaps it’s a good time to make sure we’re all doing what we need to in order to facilitate the best hand overs. A good opportunity to iron out any issues”.

 

[Darvos]

trust me that won’t work, i got the guilt trip of a lifetime last year when i said we were spending christmas with my OH’s side

Could you include your dad for Christmas Day and make another day for your household to shut out the rest of the world and be together? Perhaps keep a little present back for each of you.

 

[GoldSilver]

My friend is going away with his partner and needs someone to feed their rabbit. It's only one day I'd have to go but he lives 20 minutes away and is have to go before work. I've done it once before but don't want to get into the habit of doing so. He has a relative that lives a few minutes walk away who'd normally do it but this relative is nosey in the house so he doesn't want him to do it. I did say I'm working so don't really have the time. The first time the relative was away with them so I did it but I don't want to keep doing it if the relative is there to do it.
I'm just hoping if I don't reply for a few days then reply to say I'll do it he'll say don't worry he has asked the relative but if not I'll have to do it then

Are they a good friend? I’d do it to be honest, it’s not a big ask.

 

[OldTT]

Do you have a euronics near you? We have one in our tiny village (which is random, we have fuck all else) and they’ll send their helpful, cheerful people who will do pretty much anything for you.

 

[Darvos]

Just after people's opinions please. It's my dad's 70th next year, he's turning 69 soon so we haven't spoken much about his 70th. Usually we like to go away as a family for parents' bigger birthdays, city break pre grandchildren and caravan or lodge style holiday since grandchildren are on the scene. I've found out my brother has booked a holiday and it clashes with the weekend dad turns 70. My brother wants us to now celebrate my dad's birthday a weekend early, which is obviously annoying, but also doubly annoying as our dad's birthday falls on a Saturday next year, so we would have been away for his actual birthday which would have been perfect. So do I arrange my dad's birthday weekend away early to suit my brother, or do I stick with his actual birthday weekend which was always the plan although not set in stone?! If I arrange the weekend before his birthday, I'm going to have to arrange something on his birthday weekend too such as a meal out. Also, I had offered to pay for my parents portion of the accommodation as a gift, but my the weekend my brother wants to go is Bank Holiday and it's a lot more expensive.

I’d stick to your dad’s date. Having it on a Saturday is perfect, and I’m weirdly odd about celebrating birthdays before time.

 

[Carapop]

Ooh, thank you! I'll keep it as brief as possible, basically friend has met a Romanian online and this person has had endless medical disasters (amongst many other things including being 'kidnapped' that all result in him desperately needing money)

He's supposedly had huge medical bills (including £2500 for an ambulance in Bucharest!) and has done a runner 3 times from hospital as he doesn't have insurance. He's claiming he's been arrested and has been told he'll be going to prison for non payment. Please could you ask your friend if this sounds legit? I really don't think it is.. TIA

Oh no this is an absolute scam. Your friend needs to immediately cease all communication. I worked in fraud in banking for years. She must not send a penny. I’m so sorry for her as they’re so manipulative and she’s probably smitten. But it’s total fraud.

 

[bozlem3080]

If you have a number for the department a call regarding timescales might not be a bad thing. It sounds as though, understandably, you feel anxious waiting but also anxious about contacting, so what the hell! Here’s to good news for you, or at the very least some timescale clarity.

I've plucked up the courage to call the department, they haven't written up my notes yet, it will be 3 weeks on Thursday since I went (I didn't realise was that long) the person I spoke to has encouraged me to make a complaint as well regarding the whole appointment, I wasn't asked specific questions either which can be quite dangerous so hopefully they will get back to me about that to. Thank you

 

[littlepup]

I agree with above, don't say a word, it may lead to them thinking that because it's less work then they can start to slowly offload more work freely, just think of the benefits an keep quiet

Agree, if OP tells them they’ll start coming to them and expecting more.
“I did a bit of this in my previous role so I’m familiar” is as far as I’d go in terms of letting on.

 

[Serene Serena]

What’s the best thing to do with very worn, stained baby/ toddler clothes? They are in too bad condition to sell or give to a charity shop. Should I throw them away (which makes me feel bad but I don’t think I have any choice)?

If there’s a heritage steam railway near you, they need rags for lighting the locomotives. Info courtesy of my trainiac brother in law.

Alternatively, if you’re crafty at all, cut out the best bits and create a patchwork quilt or rag rug.

 

[Londonsays]

I would steer clear of anything with religious content. Just buy the baby a cute tableware set with his name on.

Thank you - it’s always hit and miss when you try and get something a bit unusual. We’ll stick with something cute and simple. Thanks again x

 

[LaBlonde]

Sorry my dyslexia bothered you, maybe if my school had cared AND helped me then my grammar wouldn't be so bad it's a struggle in life enough

don’t apologise - it was clear what you meant and isn’t a big deal anyway

 

[Former_Antelopee]

Had a nice day out and come back to my car parked on the road on the train station street and someone's key'd it. Luckily I don't care about my car. Would just make me want to park there again ngl to annoying whoever did it

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Has anyone had to replace the dish inside a slow cooker? An what did brand did you go for

The lining of our dish has started to peel off, obvs needs a replacement but I want to get one that's going to last much longer, will I be better going for a ceramic one?

I’ve never heard of it peeling before?!? I would get a ceramic one but it might be cheaper to buy a new slow cooker

 

[Serene Serena]

I would be seriously considering going low contact with your brother @Lynx
He sounds like an arrogant prick with very few morals or a conscience.
Does he actually add anything joyous to your life?

 

[T-time]

A few weeks ago I was approached by my manager to apply for a job. This job has been mentioned lots of times to me in the sense of “if XX gets XX job then it’ll be yours when she leaves”. Well the person in question has got a new job now and her job went out to ad. I applied on the back of my manager telling me to and she said my application was just perfect. She kept referring to the job as mine and “when you’re in here and doing it” etc etc.

Fast forward 2-3 weeks and it turns out the job went out externally and had almost 200 applicants. I’ve today received an email confirming I’ve been shortlisted for an interview and I’ve asked for help from my manager. She called me to explain how big the interest was in the job and I’ve got to really impress if I want this job. It’s 2 bands higher than I’m currently on (NHS) and that the majority of applicants are only 1 band below (although I do the majority of that banding work, as I’ve been covering a role, it’s just not officially my banding). She also mentioned how some of the external applicants have come from really high up jobs.

Naturally, I don’t feel confident at all now. I told myself not to get my hopes up but it’s inevitable. I absolutely despise the role I’m in now and outgrew it a long time ago. I just know I’ll be gutted if I don’t get it and don’t know where to go from here. I feel like I’ve had a carrot dangled for a long time, and I don’t know what to say to my manager if I don’t get it as I’m currently doing way and above my specified job role/band/pay.

I’m also nervous as hell in interviews and panic on the spot.

sorry - just needed a little rant and if anyone can give me interview advice it would be much welcomed.

You hate where you are now. Can you apply jobs outside of your current one?

If they wanted you on the spot, they would have offered it to you. These things will always go to someone "who has more experience" and they might throw in a "to bad, so sad, we love you but you are our second option".

Forget about getting your hopes up and start applying somewhere else. Your manager is taking you for granted and it's easier searching for a job while you still have one. Go.

And forget about not being confident. The only reason that you're not confident is because you put all your damn eggs in one basket, handed the basket over to someone else and make that and them responsible for your happiness. Time to put your eggs in multiple baskets and not let your work or outcome of an interview define who you are as a person. You're worth more than that.

 

[ReginaPhalange3]

She let's him off the lead and he's often way ahead of her so I guess he'd just pee on the sign! I had a word this morning, she said 'oh right', nothing more. She's passed twice glaring at the front with him on the lead so hopefully message received. I've put the lion poo down anyway if it deters anything its a bonus!

Someone near me has a sign on their drive saying "No dog fowling" and apart from the typo - I have chickens and I don't want dogs anywhere near them - it works. I would go for that option rather than expensive lion poo.