The advice thread for random problems #7

[Serene Serena]

Ooh, thank you! I'll keep it as brief as possible, basically friend has met a Romanian online and this person has had endless medical disasters (amongst many other things including being 'kidnapped' that all result in him desperately needing money)

He's supposedly had huge medical bills (including £2500 for an ambulance in Bucharest!) and has done a runner 3 times from hospital as he doesn't have insurance. He's claiming he's been arrested and has been told he'll be going to prison for non payment. Please could you ask your friend if this sounds legit? I really don't think it is.. TIA

She's just read your post and says please tell your friend that a lot of healthcare in Romania is free, and funded by the state. Citizens are encouraged to get insurance. However, if this man can't afford insurance, he will still be looked after medically and wouldn't be charged for an ambulance - the cost of which would be about 400 euros, not the amount he's cited. If he is is need of medical treatment he will receive it, and not have to pay. He certainly wouldn't be arrested and sent to prison. He's a Billy Bullshitter, or as my friend says, a mincino.

 

[Django]

Sorry my dyslexia bothered you, maybe if my school had cared AND helped me then my grammar wouldn't be so bad it's a struggle in life enough

There's nothing wrong with your grammar!

 

[chickhicks86]

Is it some kind of attention seeking disorder?

I think it's some sort of weaponised incompetence! I think the problems are genuine (after a fashion) but the advice given never seems to be taken onboard, and the woe is me continues. This poster has popped up many times over the thread with various similar problems, but there always seems to be an obstacle to why they can't follow anything through - device can't access relevant services, buildings inaccessible, everyone else's fault.....

 

[Melian]

Hi everyone, I'm jumping in here because I need a bit of advice and I've nobody left to ask IRL. My friend got a labrador puppy back in October, we have been friends for 15 years. He had the dog about 3 months before he was told the dog was unable to continue living in his current accommodation. The landlord basically said the dog goes or they both go due to neighbours complaining about barking and his roommate was allergic to him. In January, he talked me into taking the dog. I find it very difficult to say no or put myself first because I am a people pleaser due to autism. I have struggled since day one. I thought I would manage because so many people say how amazing dogs are and how they couldn't be without them. I only heard positive things. I have tried and tried, spent hundreds of pounds on training but he is so energetic and I am so stressed. I cannot do anything, I can't sit down to have a meal, I can't read to my toddler, I can't play with my toddler, leaving the house is an army mission. I am shattered, stressed and really not enjoying this at all. He is now 11 months old, absolutely gorgeous but way too much work and I am not coping. I have had three heart attacks (I'm only 35) with the most recent in may this year and have been diagnosed with angina so the constant high blood pressure from the stress is making me ill. He has hurt my 2yo a couple of times stealing food from her and knocking her over, never intentional hurt but hurt all the same. It's got to the point where I have told my friend that I can't do it and he needs to be rehomed with someone who can give him everything he needs. I am too ill to manage this. Friend has gone ballistic, blocked me on everything and won't speak to me. He is angry with me for not coping and is furious that "his dog" needs to go. He can't take him back because of his circumstances so I have suggested a rescue which got me blocked.

Am I being a dick? I have tried for 6 months and all it's done is stress me out and upset me. I cry most days because I don't know what to do. I'm not a monster, just not a dog person and the kids are miserable too.

Anyone been in a similar situation?

What exactly does he expect you to do? You have a toddler. What if the dog goes for your toddler and seriously hurts them? A friend and her ex husband rehomed one of their dogs after she bit their toddler which I think is fair enough

If you're not happy, re-home the dog. It was a lot of responsibility especially with children to put on you

 

[Snippysnips]

My uncle did this for my grandma, we went ahead without him. He was well aware of the date and we refused to move it for him.

My brother has also done this, it's my dad's 70th next month an he's booked a holiday. Am not moving shit, he knows when our dad's bday is an that its his 70th, he could have booked the holiday anytime an a 70th only happens once, so my dad's getting his day on his day

 

[cowtastrophe]

I found out today from a colleague that our manager has described me as ‘pulling a fast one’ and ‘crafty’.

The back story is that I was originally employed on 18 hours p/w. I asked for this to be increased to 21 hours p/w following two members of our team leaving. Long story short, my increase was agreed but then we immediately changed teams so there was some dispute over who should pay for my whole three hours extra per week.My manager asked me to complete a flexible working agreement which I did and he signed off. It now seems he inadvertently signed off my increase in hours before it was authorised and his manager is annoyed with him. He is saying (not to me) that he didn’t know what he was signing and my extra three hours are preventing him recruiting another full time post in our department.

He’s off this week but I’m going to have a sit down with him next week. Cheeky fucker.

 

[Former_Antelopee]

We complained and they agreed it isn't what we booked so going back later when someone higher up is in to get a different room the room looks totally different from the pictures also

 

[cowtastrophe]

AO delivered my fridge and washing machine up to the first floor when I lived in a flat.

 

[LaBlonde]

They have the correct item I’ve returned but they also have a very expensive box of electrical bits belonging to my partner Royal Mail picked up in error as a return, it’s that very are refusing to return

i would be going for very in every avenue i could: tag them on twitter, instagram, get their ceo email address, just every possible way.

i know it’s not their fault that royal mail sent it to them but it’s your property (and it’s of significant value!) i googled and a few useful email addresses come up for their higher ups so i would email all of them. i hope you get it back!

 

[Snippysnips]

I’m gonna try really hard not to doxx myself here…

Someone I know has been joking to a group of us about some wildlife cruelty they recently did. So cruel it ended the animal’s life. They seemed to think we’d all laugh and joke with them about it but very quickly started changing the story to say “for legal reasons” xyz happened and now they’re trying to say they were joking and it never happened after all. The thing is, they gave so many details that there’s no chance it didn’t happen.

Should I report it to the police? I want to remain anonymous so the animal welfare contact is not an option. I’m aware that a fine can be involved but also a prison sentence. I don’t think this person should get away with what they’ve done but I think the guilt of a potential prison sentence would weigh heavily on me.

Report it, if they were happy to joke about it then clearly they wouldn't care less doing it again

 

[didisaythatoutloudoops]

Can someone help me what to order for my takeaway?

The options are Wagamama’s

Pros- healthy(ish), cheap including delivery due to discount count code.

Haven’t had it in a while.

Cons- Sometimes feels a bit like one bite and it’s gone.

Local Chinese

Pros- I get three dishes for £15-ish including delivery due to discount code.

I won’t be able to eat it all so I’ll have some left over for tomorrow.

It’s Friday tomorrow so a takeaway is normal

Cons- I’m really hating my body/weight so I do want to be healthy eating so having two chineses in a row will make me feel crap!

Maybe something to consider for the future, but the supermarket noodle + veg + sauce stir fry kits for £3 really are quite great, especially if you add your favourite protein (I love to add frozen prawns). It takes 5 minutes and is almost impossible to mess up.

It's these little healthy swaps that still satisfy your cravings that are the key - and each time chips away at that 'I feel crap in my body' feeling!

 

[Phil Anne Throw Pee]

Thank you all for taking the time to reply. I feel reassured by your comments, he really is a beautiful boy and I know how happy he will make someone. Labs need one to one attention and constant stimulation, which is something I didn't know before I got him. I didn't research properly as it was a last minute unexpected thing and I stupidly didn't realise how big he would get. I'm thinking from the dogs point of view too, he is loved and treated very well (2 walks per day, treats, cuddles etc) but I'm drained by the end of every day and he's bored, I feel guilty. I have made up my mind and will be going ahead with a local rescue by the end of the week if my friend doesn't take him back. He is trying to find an alternative owner in the local area so he can still see the dog, he sees him often which is another reason he's so angry about this. He is going to miss him but he isn't the one responsible, he just pops in for an hour whenever he is around and that's it, he just doesn't understand what it is like to be stressed out all day every day. Thank you for all your advice, it really helped.

Fuck him, he is not a friend. You are a kind, decent person who did your best. Put yourself, your health and your family before anything. He is completely selfish and deluded and I'm sure your dog will find another good home.

 

[cowtastrophe]

I’m not a fan of feeding urban foxes. They can find their own food perfectly well and wild animals should not be made reliant on humans for their food. It also encourages rats.

There are a few areas where I work where there’s a huge problem of over-feeding - basically people fly-tipping unsuitable food saying ‘it’s for the birds and animals’. I’ve seen people dumping piles of cooked rice, whole loaves of bread, pasta, curry, mouldy pastry, left over meat and when you confront them, they honestly think they’re helping the wildlife. Mate, come down here at night and the only wildlife eating are hundreds of rats swarming the area.

 

[Bread]

Any advice on how to stop a dog pissing on my lawn and driveway? Someone on the lane let's their dog walk way ahead of them and their dog at least once a day pees on the top of my driveway or on the lawn or the bark. Tonight, it's came right down the driveway and pissed on my front door so ive reached my limit. It's driving me insane as I have young ones who love helping me garden, yes theyre gloved 90% of the time but still. I've put vinegar down as read that can do the job but any advice is appreciated. Crapbag wont let me pull her, says its petty

Do you mean pull the owner up on it? Absolutely do so. Most people would be mortified if they twigged what their dog was doing. Just ask her to keep her dog off your land. You're perfectly entitled to.

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

If you asked to meet up with a friend twice and she’s said shes busy both times and it’s been months apart would you just leave it for them to ask next if they do at all? We don’t live near each other and only meet up a few times a year.

What kind of vibe are you feeling. I might try once more if I feel it’s genuine.
Otherwise I’d leave it to her and if I never hear from her again then I know

 

[RainbowFuzz]

Another vote for AO, I live in a flat on the second floor with no lift and they’ve delivered a washing machine and a fridge freezer to me without question and took away the old. I’m pretty certain there was a text box where you could write that you are upstairs so that they are prepared.

 

[ReginaPhalange3]

That's a life win! Sometimes the money gods know you need a little pick me up and will reward you take the win! X

I ordered some shoes on different colours as wasn't sure which I wanted. Sent 2 of 3 pairs back but had an issue with the refund taking a while. Emailed them and they've issued the refund now but I think they've refunded for all 3 pairs do I let them know or just ignore it? They've also sent it in USD not GBP which I found strange but whatever

 

[chickhicks86]

Usually the school is cashless, everything is done online even child in need was. This was a one off fun run thing.

She told her teacher and first aider it was in her throat and pointed where it was stuck. She was exactly right, the xray showed where it was. One Dr's think because she aS so violently sick it made the coin stand rather than lie flat over her breathing tubes.

Ive looked online at the school first aid policy and it say they should ring an ambulance before parents

At the point that they rang you, they didn't know about the coin though? They wouldn't ring an ambulance for a child being sick? Have you got to the bottom of why she ate the coin? I'd be more worried about that I think - how old is she?

 

[littlepup]

I'm not sure whether to mention something in my catch up with my manager. So my work team consists of 3 teams of 2 covering the day but we don't ever overlap. There are assistants who overlap with us all.

My and the person I'm with have been on the team a while. The second team hasn't start yet as the two on that team have left. The third team one of the people has joined from another department.
During the handover the other day the person who had come from the other department said to someone that they actually do their job unlike people from another team. Now she didn't like the two people that left from team 2, especially one of them and always had issues with her work.
One of the assistants told me last week that she didn't have a problem with us just the people who left and not to worry as it's definitely not us. But she said this comment about her team doing work properly unlike others since the assistant told me this. Now we are the only team she could be saying it about unless she is still talking about the team that left but they left over a month ago.

Do I mention it to my manager say I've heard from people she has been saying stuff about us? Shall I ask the assistant who originally told me it wasn't about us what she thinks?

We do all the work we need to. Their team does do an extra task however we were specifically told not to do this task. So I also didn't know whether to say something about this as I don't want the teams that take over from us to think we just aren't doing this task, as it does help the teams taking over but there is good reason why we shouldn't be doing it, as it sets out the tasks for the next shift but this needs to be checked with the managers daily to make sure they want the same things doing otherwise the same things get copied over if we do it and if they don't want it done it makes a mess of the task sheet. We did do it in the past and they changed it due to them reasons but the person from the other department is also training the people from the brand new team meaning all but my team will probably be doing this so will probably look bad on us

Ask the person themselves if possible, if it’s allowed, email maybe. Politely, like “I heard you’d been dissatisfied with some of the work of the other teams. If you feel our team isn’t doing something correctly perhaps we could discuss it and make sure the managers and new trainees are all on the same page”.
They’ll either say “no it was the ones that left”, not say anything because they don’t want confrontation or answer honestly.
If not possible then perhaps raise it with the manager but frame it as thing a good idea to get feedback from each team so that the trainees get it right going forward. “With the new starters perhaps it’s a good time to make sure we’re all doing what we need to in order to facilitate the best hand overs. A good opportunity to iron out any issues”.

 

[Darvos]

trust me that won’t work, i got the guilt trip of a lifetime last year when i said we were spending christmas with my OH’s side

Could you include your dad for Christmas Day and make another day for your household to shut out the rest of the world and be together? Perhaps keep a little present back for each of you.