The advice thread for random problems #7

[Forallthoseasking]

This is a difficult problem for me to try and articulate so please forgive me for any fumbles in wording!

Myself and my friends are all at the life stage of preparing to have kids, pregnancy, or already having small children. Personally, I have not yet had children but I am not putting pressure on myself.

One of my friends desperately wants to be pregnant. She is putting a lot of pressure on herself and is actively getting upset each month when her period arrives. She has every tracker and guidebook under the sun. Her and her partner have been trying for 6 months. Every time she sees a pregnancy announcement on Instagram, she is upset. Every time anyone mentions anything baby related, she is upset. I have avoided talking about my other friend who is currently pregnant so as not to upset her further. I don't dodge the topic if directly asked, but I also don't bring it up. Some of her other friends however, seem to be taking advantage and using her as a babysitting service. Almost every weekend she is out with her partner and someone else's baby having a day out. She is elated on those days and extremely depressed in the 2-3 days that follow.

I can't help but now start to feel extremely anxious talking to her. I love her to pieces but I don't know what to say anymore that doesn't somehow go back to children and her feeling like she's failed by not getting pregnant so fast. I also don't want to belittle her stress either as I can't even imagine how she feels but I do think the obsession and pressure is not going to be helping her actually conceive?

I just don't know what to do really to either help her or feel less anxious about fucking up in conversation by accidentally offending her.

If anyone does have a miracle answer, please do let me know but even actually expressing that helps a little thanks

 

[didisaythatoutloudoops]

Is it normal to be seen by a pharmacist for a doctors appointment at your GP? I didn’t know at the time but I did think she was being vague, unhelpful and brushing thing off. I’ve just looked at my gp notes and it shows I was seen by a pharmacist? She said my bp was normal but the reading it was on the day means it was elevated and falls into stage 1 hypertension. I remember her repeating it a few more times and telling me it’s ok now but on the notes she recorded the elevated reading with nothing further added about it. Im thinking of complaining

It is normal now, yes, basically you can be seen by a number of people at your GP's and it will depend on why you asked for your appointment. If you had one elevated reading and the rest were normal then it can just be due to nerves, worry, etc especially if the rest were fine, so she did well there. I think from what you've said your experience is completely fine and normal, but if you want to (and only if you want to) share a bit more it might add more context.

 

[Ray1403]

She was under there care, so yes they rang me but surely it's their duty to make so she was okay

what would you have liked them to have done? do you mean you think they should have escorted you to A&E or they should have followed up with you afterwards?

 

[ReginaPhalange3]

I live on a Country lane so were trapped today and likely tomorrow. Thankfully we expected it and stocked up Saturday. The motorways and A roads are clear but we cant get to them All the schools here have closed. I remember visiting Iceland and being amazed how everyone functioned as normal in thick snow

Supposed to be travelling tomorrow for a work trip on Tuesday. It’s snowing pretty heavily here (probably enough to shut schools tomorrow but that’s neither here nor there as there’s freezers that operate in warmer conditions than a primary school), but won’t be at my destination as it’s much further south. I’ll have to go on the motorway (could get the train but it’s a faff). Husband is having kittens — am I stupid for attempting to go?!

 

[Ray1403]

I really want wraps for my lunch next week but everytime I make wraps and try to roll them, the wraps get holes in them or never as tight as they should be. I’ve added less food in the middle to see if that helps - it doesn’t!
Anyone got any videos I could watch that makes it sink in on how to do a tortilla wrap?!

i wrap them in tinfoil so it doesn't matter if they split

 

[Snippysnips]

I have to have a zoom call at 7pm on a weekday evening. I won't get any privacy at home so Im wondering where to go . Costa will have closed by then. I'm not sure what will be best between sitting in the car in a car park, Witherspoon or the leisure centre.

Do you have any library's close by? Some have started to offer little rooms you can use for this, not sure about the times they close though, I know some of mine are open till 8pm but it's rare they are

 

[Jas28]

Anyone suffer with chronic uticaria? The doctors just tell me to take an anti histamine but it’s been going on for a long time and if I don’t take the one anti histamine tablet every 24hrs my skin breaks out in hives and I cannot do anything. I’m just concerned there’s a deeper issue like auto immune illness or something. I also have stomach/gut problems when my skin tingles and the hives come on. Don’t really know what to suggest to my doctor.

 

[T-time]

It isn't visible enough , it looks like normal skin at the minute. Itchy as hell though.

I have no idea what it is, I'm sorry. But I do know my allergies. If you can miss the money you can go to the drugstore and get an over the counter antihistamine. If you take it and the inch goes away, it's an allergy

Sometimes you just have to start somewhere. But that's easy for me to say because in my case 9 / 10 it's an allergy

 

[Serene Serena]

Does anyone struggle with feeling exhausted in the morning and if so have you found anything to help with it?

All my life I've always struggled with mornings, doesn't matter if I've had a perfect night's sleep with no disturbance or if it's been broken sleep, it's always a struggle to get out bed and leaves me feeling quite honestly pissed off, I don't use an alarm because I naturally wake between 7am an 8am and so long as I am up at 8 then it's fine so it's not like I am being woken from an alarm either, once I am up an had breakfast then am fine, but it's just the whole trying to get out of bed an that drowsy feeling I can't get rid off

I take magnesium and 5HTP and multivitamin pills

 

[Carapop]

Anyone good tech wise?

TV keeps shutting off randomly, have tried hard resetting it, putting it back to default settings (although I don't think I changed anything) an have done a reset on the TV itself, but it still shuts off

I wouldn't say it's that old either, around 6 years old an certainly wasn't a cheap TV (I done research to get a good one as I mainly game)

So just wondering if something was causing it or if it's time to replace which am hoping not too, it's a Samsung oled model

I’ve been investigating online, and apparently a HDMI-connected console/soundbar can tell a Samsung TV to power off through Anynet+ / HDMI-CEC, and a factory reset doesn’t fix it. (I btw have no idea what anynet is but I’m dying of boredom today and love trying to fix someone else’s problems)

Samsung says connected devices & power settings are among the main causes of TVs switching themselves off. Try these, recommended by various online sources and keep me posted, I’m invested now:

Unplug absolutely everything from the TV except its power cable, then use app such as Netflix/YouTube for a while. If that works then TV is probs fine and one of the connected things is responsible.

Turn off Anynet+ (HDMI-CEC) before reconnecting the console:
Settings >Connection/General > External Device Manager > Anynet+.

Plug the TV directly into a different wall socket, don’t use extension leads/surge protectors.

Check for a firmware update: Settings >Support >Software Update. A factory reset doesn't roll the television forward to newer firmware.

 

[boatofbubbles]

I just feel they have a duty of care that she got the medical attention she required, not all parents are the best.

 

[Captainmouse]

I’m pretty sure the lion poo only works for cats. Dogs are not deterred by other animals’ poo! Honestly just have a word with the owner. I personally think it’s rude to allow your dog to enter someone else’s property, let alone do its business there, but she might well be oblivious.

Also your grass will be fine. My dog wees in the same places in the garden and has done for years. No issues with the lawn.

I think it depends on the sex of the 'dog' as to if it damages the grass or not.

 

[Kim Mild]

It doesn’t sound like shingles I’d it’s in two separate places. Could it be an allergy?

I'm not sure because the feeling is within in the skin , rather than on the surface, hence the comparison with shingles. Those areas don't come into contact with anything for an allergy to only happen in that area .

 

[Former_Antelopee]

In my experience yes, I assume you have a meter, has your standing charge gone up? That’ll effect it too.

No idea tbh I'll have to check

 

[Snippysnips]

Just because you are naturally waking doesn't mean you've had adequate rest .

I never thought of that, I had thought because I was naturally waking then my body deemed I had enough rest, maybe my sleeping isn't as great as I am thinking it is

This may be controversial but I find keeping the curtains open actually make it easier for me to get up in the morning. Waking to darkness makes me want to stay comfy and cosy. Waking to a bright light room is a little more invigorating or something?

I do have blackout curtains, they do still let light in around the edges so it's never still proper dark in the mornings but maybe I'll look into some lighter curtains to brighten the room better in the mornings

Tbh i think that's pretty normal? I'd actually be interested to hear from anyone who wakes up and is immediately ready to go and full of energy

Honestly am not expecting to just wake up an have boundless energy, I just would prefer my body didn't feel such a dead weight in the morning that it's actually affecting my mood having to physically get out of bed

 

[Snippysnips]

Do you have a recordable box?. I rarely watch terrestrial TV but unbeknownst to me I had series linked TOTP2, the box carried on quietly recording eleven billion episodes, got full and took out everything .

Otherwise second check for updates.

I don't no, I actually don't watch TV, I mainly game an if am not then it's streaming services on the TVs apps like YouTube or Netflix I'll have on, there's no aerial ever been hooked up to it, only the pc an consoles are hooked to it

I've checked for update an it's saying everything is fully up to date, so done a factory reset an redownloaded everything, it's not even giving me a pop up telling me what's causing it like how you would get if a pc crashed

But honestly that's insane yours had been recording like that

 

[Darvos]

Thank you, yes I keep checking my app also, the whole appointment was so rushed because it was 4pm & the nurse in front of me said the staff will be going home late tonight as they had packed away for the day & weren't made aware of my procedure, one of the tests were scrapped as they made the excuse they couldn't locate the equipment! I was made to feel guilty for having my treatment, I was given zero advice after the appointment ended either, part of me wants to make a complaint but then I think is it really worth it?

Ugh, I’m so sorry that happened to you at a time when things were stressful enough. Just to reassure you that so far the biopsy result timescales seem to tally even though our experiences on the day were different

 

[getthefrockout69]

Day before my birthday and I have a huge fuck off spot on my lip any advice for shit around th house that might help

Happy birthday

If you have any palmers coco butter works wonders for me when I get a break out its stings for a few seconds but it drys it out

 

[Bobbleowl90]

A few weeks ago I was approached by my manager to apply for a job. This job has been mentioned lots of times to me in the sense of “if XX gets XX job then it’ll be yours when she leaves”. Well the person in question has got a new job now and her job went out to ad. I applied on the back of my manager telling me to and she said my application was just perfect. She kept referring to the job as mine and “when you’re in here and doing it” etc etc.

Fast forward 2-3 weeks and it turns out the job went out externally and had almost 200 applicants. I’ve today received an email confirming I’ve been shortlisted for an interview and I’ve asked for help from my manager. She called me to explain how big the interest was in the job and I’ve got to really impress if I want this job. It’s 2 bands higher than I’m currently on (NHS) and that the majority of applicants are only 1 band below (although I do the majority of that banding work, as I’ve been covering a role, it’s just not officially my banding). She also mentioned how some of the external applicants have come from really high up jobs.

Naturally, I don’t feel confident at all now. I told myself not to get my hopes up but it’s inevitable. I absolutely despise the role I’m in now and outgrew it a long time ago. I just know I’ll be gutted if I don’t get it and don’t know where to go from here. I feel like I’ve had a carrot dangled for a long time, and I don’t know what to say to my manager if I don’t get it as I’m currently doing way and above my specified job role/band/pay.

I’m also nervous as hell in interviews and panic on the spot.

sorry - just needed a little rant and if anyone can give me interview advice it would be much welcomed.

 

[Kim Mild]

What's the zoom call for? That's late! (I say that, I have therapy over Teams on an evening but live alone)

It's like a free introductory mindset coaching thing . There will be other people on the call but only the host can see us , we won't see each other. I have headphones.