The advice thread for random problems #7

[chickhicks86]

Anyone know where I can buy space type toys for age 3? It's for the Xmas toy gift tree from Dunelm mill so it will need to be something with at least age 3 on them otherwise I don't think I can hand it in, so far the few things I've seen have age 5/6+ on them

https://amzn.eu/d/iNDmDjb maybe? Or a floor puzzle of the planets?

 

[littlepup]

I don’t know if boots would have too much fabric but leather or suede shoes can be gently heated with a hair dryer then pulled and stretched in a kind of massage like way, heating again and wearing with thick socks. It really helps.

 

[Captainmouse]

I don’t think the police take lost property any more. I’d put it on some local facebook groups.

I was suggesting ringing them for advice, they may know of a group or organisation

 

[Melian]

Got a custom built pc, it's starting to get a bit dusty inside, is there a safe way to clean it, or is it fine to just open up an wipe down with a microfibre cloth? Don't want to damage anything

I'm sure I bought a can of compressed air to clean mine

 

[Snippysnips]

Hi everybody, not sure where else to put this but random seems to fit. I have this general feeling that I am unable to tolerate life.....I am not suicidal, I am not depressed, I am anxious though. But this is more of a feeling that as soon as some kind of minor inconvenience comes along, like a change of appointment, or an extra task, or my daughters friends aren't free when I have tried to arrange a playdate, or my husband is upset with me or something, I go straight from regulated to completely unregulated and cannot cope with the feelings. I have always had this overarching feeling that I would be better off dead, not that I have or had any plans to take my life. Does any of this make sense?! I am just fed up with feeling like this and don't know why I do feel like this so I am kinda hoping someone recognises themselves in this and has already found the answer!

I get like this, alot of it comes from my anxiety, I've never been screened for autism so not sure if I am or not but I do have bad anxiety an whenever something changes I end up getting angry about it because in my head everything's already been planned out an I can't cope with change because it feels like anything can happen an I won't be prepared for it, like I need to have this schedule in my head of exactly everything that will happen an as soon as something else comes along it's hard to cope with that so I end up getting pissed off because to me that's the whole schedule been thrown out the window even though it can be something as small as just an extra shop or a change in dinner etc an am kindi left feeling like why even bother to plan all this if it's just going be screwed up anyway

The best way I've tried to cope with it is to plan out my main things I need to do/go an then leave "wiggle room" like if am heading to the shops I always plan out how long I'll be then I'll add 30mins to it an say it's incase I need another shop if I don't get what I need, or if am planning dinner I'll plan two options, that way it feels almost like a backup plan if things do change

Unfortunately it's the only thing I can say to help, I think if your brain is the type it wants to plan everything out then any slight changes that happens you are going feel it, so I'd try making a backup plan like if option A isn't going work like your daughter's friends aren't free then you have option B which is to take her to the park or something

 

[Chocolategoggler]

At my big old age I should know the answer too this I'm 37 but what cooking trays are the best ones to use I'm after long lasting ones ive seen some by ninja with the 10 year warrant the other half is chomping at the bits to get them but there very spenny I'm just at a lost of which one to buy since wilko closed down and my local dunelm burning down I'm not to what to do as it's costing me a fortune in kitchen foil

Do you have a Lakeland shop near you? They always give good advice and they had a lot of chef input.
I remember their trays being so good you could cook on the hob using them.

 

[JoeBloggs]

Has anyone had to replace the dish inside a slow cooker? An what did brand did you go for

The lining of our dish has started to peel off, obvs needs a replacement but I want to get one that's going to last much longer, will I be better going for a ceramic one?

This happened to mine, and I was a month out of warranty! You can buy liners for it, but I just got a replacement in the end.

 

[cowtastrophe]

I found a set of keys on the pavement of the road I live on. It has a car key, perhaps a house key and a fob. I tried the car key on the road to see if it opens any cars of the same make of car but it didn’t. Husband put it on the neighbourhood group chat but no one has replied. There isn’t a police station here I can drop it to. What shall I do?

I don’t think the police take lost property any more. I’d put it on some local facebook groups.

 

[Bread]

Is there a company name on the van?

No there wasn't or I'd have gone down that route. I knocked on the door a couple of different occasions but they weren't in so I have put A nice letter through the door with my name and number on it in case they want to talk to me. The blokes haven't been back so maybe I scared them off. I do hope so.

 

[bozlem3080]

Have you tried the conditioner that comes with hair dye (L'Oréal)?
Although it says to use once a week I use it every wash as my hair loves it so much despite being fine texture. No more frizzy curls.

Oh I might do that I have loads of them as use 2 box dyes due to the thickness of my hair so have a few left over.

 

[Django]

Is there an way i can email my 6 years school without sounding like a grade A *head?
I changed my daughter's surname in the midst of applying for primary schools, so on the original forms she still had dad's surname. Once she got into the primary school she had my surname (by legal deed poll), so on all her school forms/books she has new surname. She only knows herself as new surname. The school uses an app for everyday updates but this was registered under her old surname. Daughter likes to see "her points" on the app which causes questions on " why I am x previous surname?" Which is too complicated to explain due to her age. How can I politely ask that the new surname is changed on the app? Dad died by suicide, daughter is aware of dad's first name but not surname as he wasn't the best person so id like her to learn the best of him (i do this for her, not him) as, if she was to google his full name then not great stories would come up (she wouldnt do this at this age but the longer I can keep her "innocent" i feel would be better for her) So how do I ask this is changed if possible? Without sounding like an AI bot?

I really don't understand this. How could your daughter not have been aware of her surname when she was what, 3 or 4 years old? At that age I knew my full name and address.
You seem to have a history of problems with the school so I'd suggest popping in for a friendly chat.

 

[Candytuft]

Hello everyone. My fridge freezer has broken down. It's ancient and honestly doesn't owe me a penny. So, I need to replace it.
The trouble is, my kitchen is upstairs.It's a converted cottage and my bedroom is downstairs. Living room and kitchenette upstairs.
I will need to order online because I've had back problems and struggle with pain and mobility.
Does anyone know of a firm - like John Lewis for example who will carry it upstairs for me and remove / dispose of the old one ?
I'm really stressing about it. Anxiety is a bitch.
Thank you

 

[HoGi]

A few weeks ago I was approached by my manager to apply for a job. This job has been mentioned lots of times to me in the sense of “if XX gets XX job then it’ll be yours when she leaves”. Well the person in question has got a new job now and her job went out to ad. I applied on the back of my manager telling me to and she said my application was just perfect. She kept referring to the job as mine and “when you’re in here and doing it” etc etc.

Fast forward 2-3 weeks and it turns out the job went out externally and had almost 200 applicants. I’ve today received an email confirming I’ve been shortlisted for an interview and I’ve asked for help from my manager. She called me to explain how big the interest was in the job and I’ve got to really impress if I want this job. It’s 2 bands higher than I’m currently on (NHS) and that the majority of applicants are only 1 band below (although I do the majority of that banding work, as I’ve been covering a role, it’s just not officially my banding). She also mentioned how some of the external applicants have come from really high up jobs.

Naturally, I don’t feel confident at all now. I told myself not to get my hopes up but it’s inevitable. I absolutely despise the role I’m in now and outgrew it a long time ago. I just know I’ll be gutted if I don’t get it and don’t know where to go from here. I feel like I’ve had a carrot dangled for a long time, and I don’t know what to say to my manager if I don’t get it as I’m currently doing way and above my specified job role/band/pay.

I’m also nervous as hell in interviews and panic on the spot.

sorry - just needed a little rant and if anyone can give me interview advice it would be much welcomed.

With the NHS and other public sector they have to advertise externally for most if not all roles. So this isnt a slight on you, it is the rules.

Your manager is wrong however to have made promises they can't keep.

Still do the interview. My best tips, make notes, feel free to refer back to them. Use STAR answers. Pause take a breath then answer. Use "I" not "we" your achievements matter no one else's but also refer to working as a team etc.

 

[Forallthoseasking]

Thanks @Snippysnips and @Serene Serena I agree, it's not actually a long time. My currently-pregnant friend was trying for 18 months and then it was about a month after she said "we are on pause, we have a few family weddings and trips coming up where a baby would be inconvenient" that she then got pregnant typical!

I think the travelling trip is out unfortunately due to the current world state but also because my friend also is saving money for her wedding too (yep, planning a big Irish wedding and trying for a baby, she doesn't do things by halves) but I will definitely keep trying to distract her and hopefully she does see a therapist or someone about her general anxious state with things currently too. I know her mum has suggested that but it's led to a bit of a fall out so I will have to handle any suggestions around that carefully.

 

[Serene Serena]

Not really a problem but I’ve just had my offer accepted for my first home I’ve lived with my mum all my life so I’m naturally feeling really daunted and anxious at the moment. Any advice or encouraging words? Also the hugeness of it all has totally turned my tummy which isn’t helping! Any anxious tummy sufferer advice appreciated!

Oh congratulations!!! You will be fine, the security of having your very own home, and not being beholden to a landlord, is fantastic. It's a big step but a brilliant one.

 

[Django]

Any hacks for getting the adhesive residue left from the sticker off a Primark tshirt ?

Lighter fuel will remove most sticky stuff without damaging the product

 

[Pesky Tarian]

It does have a sleep mode but I keep that switched off, an it does also have a inactive mode which gives me a pop up saying that it's going to shut down unless I click no which I do, but these shut downs are totally random, today I had maybe 3 shut downs within around 5 mins of one another, so not enough time passed to trigger a sleep or inactive mode

The wires all seem fine an I always keep it clean behind the unit so no wires are tangled or pulling on one another

Sometimes when I put the TV back after it's happened I get some warning about it can't continue the recording but I've no idea what that means, as far as I am aware the TV can't record anything

I have a feeling it's developed a fault but I've no idea what fault it could be an if I can fix it

Do you have a recordable box?. I rarely watch terrestrial TV but unbeknownst to me I had series linked TOTP2, the box carried on quietly recording eleven billion episodes, got full and took out everything .

Otherwise second check for updates.

 

[BettyRose]

A relative died and left me money. Ive debts I must use it to pay, hence them leaving it to me, e.g. landlord/credit cards/energy/money towards being evicted. It’s for £7,500. I cant get any advice before March and honestly I don’t trust them as they set up my UC and stole from me, handing my claim around the office and allowing strangers to attend jobcentre “on my behalf”, police wouldn’t help as they had a consent form signed by me saying they could contact anyone, I just didn’t know that meant anyone, including volunteers of the organisation could claim to be me. The transition to UC I trusted them with they screwed up And I cannot access my account because it was set up by them.

I am banned from jobcentre because they triggered PTSD attack, and find dealing with me “too upsetting”.

I don’t know what to do, yes I’ve only just been formally contacted, at gone midnight.. everything is closed tomorrow due to weather.

Ive no gp, no social worker, no one now.

The money can’t go to anywhere else except my main account and it’ll all be taken immediately for debt, and end my small amount of ESA (CB) around and UC (I get around £300 a month for everything). I can’t stop it being taken. I’m being taken to court for non payment of debt and have fines for not paying, because the apps don’t work and the helplines are AI. I feel awful now for even telling.

Im going to end up with nothing at all and I’m terrified.

Would you be able to contact Citizens Advice? Obviously not at midnight but in the morning?

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Prioritise high fat and low volume foods. You get lots of calories without needing much appetite. But high fat foods can cause early satiation so you may find it difficult to eat too much without feeling very full very quickly!

If you’re really struggling to eat, have very limited appetite, or experiencing nausea due to stress, then your doctor can prescribe nutritionally complete supplements. Fortisip compact, for example, only 125ml of dairy based liquid (consistency and taste like a yogurt drink eg yop!) for 300 calories. They take up very little room in your tummy, easy to drink and digest, and available in high fibre or high protein versions depending on needs. If not eating enough it’s very easy not meet fibre goals so this can help. Drink two a day and you’ll consume same amount of calories as six slices of toast for only 250ml of liquid!

If you don’t want to visit your doctor or want to try a more readily accessible solution first then drink glasses of whole milk regularly throughout the day. If you can tolerate it (some people just can’t stomach milk. It is one of the most nourishing foods on the planet. When I was in inpatient treatment for anorexia and working very closely with a dietician on a weight restoration plan with a stomach that was very used to undereating, I was drinking six glasses of whole milk a day without a problem. Also, it’s actually more hydrating than water!

I am so sorry that you’re under such stress and I’m so impressed that you’re prioritising your health over the lower number on a scale.

I never even thought about something like this. Thank you, I’ll pop into a pharmacy over the wkend and have a look round.
Yeah, it’s nice losing weight but I’m definitely concerned about how quickly it’s dropping. It’s not natural for me. I lean towards being a bit heavier

 

[Bread]

Dunelm are great for pillows.