The advice thread for random problems #7

[bozlem3080]

I need to pluck up the courage to go to a hairdresser, my hair is really thick & frizzy although I straighten it, I've probably only ever been to the hairdressers a handful of times in my life, when I was 10 I went she washed, cut, blow dried my hair & I came out looking like Deidre Barlow (had similar glasses too) full on poodle hair, my uncles ex wife was a hairdresser so she mainly cut my hair in my teens, then her & my mum would sit & smoke/drink afterwards taking the piss out of my hair, I then had my hair done in my late 20's at a hairdressers, I spent the 3 hours (wash, cut, colour, blow dry, straighten) apologising for the state of it because its so thick & frizzy, I last went about 3yrs ago, the hairdresser was so lovely but I just felt so out of place, felt like everyone was staring at me & just uncomfortable, then felt they were probably talking about me afterwards about my awful hair, I suppose I could have a mobile hairdresser in but its the faff of washing my hair myself I can't be arsed with (I can't be arsed at the best of times ) I just trim my own hair/dye it but want something different. Sorry for the long rant.

 

[Django]

I did try a caffeine shampoo a while ago but didn't see much difference but please can you learn to use anD instead of an?

 

[Captainmouse]

I would make sure you record her parents etc as proof

 

[Magwitch]

I beg your pardon?!?!

Apparently it is a thing! Cats hate it and you can buy it online, presumably from zoos!

 

[chickhicks86]

I might be entering my perimenopause era and any of the threads with that in the title haven’t had any posts in forever so I don’t know where to go . My periods have always been troublesome and my cycles pretty much always loooong (at least in the time I was tracking when TTC). I’m 13 months post partum and things have just been a bit… off lately. I have a lot of spotting through my cycle which never used to happen. In the later part of my cycle I will have spotting after/during sex which is again not really normal for me. I had what seemed like more than spotting a couple of weeks ago so thought it was a very early period. Except it was really short lived and now I have my actual period and it’s horrid. I experienced so much muscle pain post partum. It’s better than it was but I’m achey in random places. I’m also struggling with bladder control. My mental health took a huge nose dive during maternity leave (probably PPD but I had a lot of rage that lasted longer than the initial postpartum hormone craziness). I upped my antidepressants but I hate it, I feel really flat. Honestly, this was supposed to be my milf era . I’m in my early 40s and my baby was a pre-IVF naturally conceived miracle but now I am beginning to wonder about the theory that women have a ‘final flourish’ from their bodies before the perimenopause/menopause starts, kind of a biological last hurrah procreation attempt, and I was just lucky enough to have caught mine. I literally cannot decide if I want another baby or not (he’s AMAZING but fuck me it’s been rough on us all, him included) but I hate the idea that my body may have decided for me .

Your changed cycles could be your "new normal" post baby. My late mum once told me that my periods would get better after I had babies....WHAT A MASSIVE LIAR! It absolutely wouldn't hurt to be checked out though, especially with the spotting between periods. My babies are teenagers now, but perimenopause is doing a massive number on me, it's pretty grim. There's an active thread here.

 

[avabella]

My manager asked me to do something which isn’t so much higher than my pay grade and I’m not paid to assess. Not sure what I should say but I don’t know why I would have to use my time and mental energy figuring something out which I’m not qualified to do. I don’t know why she’s picking my brains but I don’t want to be rude and I have got my own things to get on with.

Could you say something like ‘that’s not something I’ve covered before - can you let me know why it’s been allocated for me to do?’

 

[RocksOff]

I’m worried it might be fraud? I’ve been accused repeatedly and it stays on your file, even when innocent, took months for me to get UC payment due to repeated checks for fraud being done. I’m still paying back money THEY (DWP) overpaid me due to THEIR mistake at 20% of total amount I was allowed with transition protection.

I hope that makes sense!

I'd had a quick look at the Shelter website and you can use inheritance to pay off debts, Have a look
I can appreciate that you are worried about fraud.

 

[Strawberry13]

Question for you all? What have you bought that has enhanced or made your life easier? I have a budget of about €500 and want to buy myself something beneficial to me. I'm a busy working Mum of two autistic preteens. Life has been hard (think fighting for every little thing!) up until the last year of two but we seem to have come through it and finally we have a little extra cash for us.

I haven’t got one but I really want a robot hoover

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Congratulations .

I suppose the question is would you be hurt if he won and didn't tell you? Also where would you hide the bags? .

This is why it was so hard to think what to do! I wpuld be ok if he kept it secret from me. But I do want to share it with him.
I think the first poster had the right idea, I’m going to tell him it was £4k and split that with him

 

[Pesky Tarian]

Thanks, I do try and do right by people! TBH, I don’t think an appeal will work. The council issuing it are pretty ferocious with these kind of non-endorsable traffic offences and if it’s not paid within 21 days, it goes up to £240 after 28 days. I think it’s probably best to just swallow it and move on unfortunately.

Oof that's quite the hefty fine. I just think if you can't undo it then move forwards in a way that you are comfortable with (financially and ethically). If you do offer half though I would 100% do it via e mail and not verbally. Being kind can bite you in the ass too!.

 

[Snippysnips]

i have contacted the council they told me it was private.

If they are stating it's private ask them for the landowner details, if they can't give them then they are fobbing you off because they can't be assed (which is typical of all councils)

 

[PoppyKJ]

am i really boring for not being arsed to do anything for bonfire night? my dad has invited us round tomorrow night but he lives 90 minutes away. i’m at work all day til 5, toddler’s in nursery all day. i’m in the middle of potty training which is stressful and he’s also having huge bedtime resistance. i’m also 20 weeks pregnant. i told my dad no but feel guilty now

God no I don’t think I’d even drive 10 mins in your position!

 

[Snippysnips]

Probably just made myself get food poisoning? I had made a egg mixture to cook into egg bites but had to put it in the fridge for 30minutes before cooking. I also had some egg mayo in the fridge for my tea. I thought I'll eat whilst I wait the 30mins. Ate then realised I ate the egg mixture instead of the egg mayo..

Hopefully you will be fine, UK is pretty good on making sure eggs are safe, bad food poisoning can hit roughly 2 hours later, with mild being 6/9 hours an very little being within 48 hours, an you can definitely tell food poisoning when it hits, had it a few years back from a restaurant an it was hell

 

[Whatthehell2]

A proper decent and quiet fan!

Coming into menopause, that might be a good shout

 

[Serene Serena]

Now thats genius. That way her DNA wont be on them.

She could also mail out 10 pairs of keks a day. She made far more money than me, working in Macdonald's for minimum wage

 

[boatofbubbles]

Can someone please make tonight? I've been at work all day and I CBA. Had takeaway last night so not an option

 

[Mamacita]

Some gyms have rules agains non sports wear so it really depends. Haven't really seen it being enforced though. There's someone in my gym that wear proper tailored trousers every time, i find that really strange

 

[becca7721]

In that case you wont have a problem as long as you have clear evidence that you have used the money to pay debts. You will have to declare the amount when it enters your account, and again when it has gone.

Thankyou.

I thought I’d pop to Jobcentre to let them know whats happening, roughly when, “executor saying few days or weeks” and then list where it’s going. It’s going to help me a lot, I’ll still be in debt but it’ll stop the letters/visits. The email has legal jargon of what it is “bequest from house of x” sort of thing, they won’t send letter and I've no printer, I assume that wording will mean something to them?

In case anyone ever wants to leave me anything ever again I’m going to advise a trust, which apparently is the right way to go about these things and is legal. I mean it’s more likely I’ll grow wings and fly away but I never expected this either!

Im sorry for confusing you all. I am VERY grateful. Everything is still shut here due to weather and havent slept. Not helped by my family turning on me for not having already sorted it out, stopping their money etc. Tattle gets a lot of grief but honestly I find it so very helpful.

 

[JoeBloggs]

Nope . They lied to me at every opportunity including telling me royal mails lines are shut! They can’t say for sure where my parcel is, if they have it or if it will be returned.

I’ve raised a complaint with Royal Mail who accepted responsibility but they are now not responding

If you don't get anywhere the website resolver is really good.

 

[Snippysnips]

Them is the charity support workers. I do want the money use for debts! Im worried the DWP will say I must live on it instead and it will already be gone.

Pretty sure if you are on UC then it's around 15k before they stop anything an tell you to live off it, over 6k am sure is just a reduction in what you get an then it's 15k before they stop

If it's getting paid out as soon as you get it then I don't see how it would affect you since it essentially wouldn't have stayed very long, an so long as you keep a record of where the money's went (online history or receipts) then it shouldn't fall back on you