The advice thread for random problems #7

[Ray1403]

Tbh i think that's pretty normal? I'd actually be interested to hear from anyone who wakes up and is immediately ready to go and full of energy

right? i thought this was just part of being a human takes me a good 5-10 minutes to actually wake myself up enough to get out of bed. the only exception is if my toddler is shouting me

 

[Bread]

Does anyone have recommendations for nice candles good for a gift, that smell nice but are more of like organic, smaller business place or something less known (thinking not jo malone, white company, neom etc)

Very late to this but just want to put shouts out for Northern Scents and Ralph's Orchard!

 

[boatofbubbles]

Yes, I think I will do that.

I don't want to rain on anyone's parade, but the police don't actually bat an eyelid to weed. I knew this already but the other day a person gave my address as their details so they turn up at mine. Many of my neighbours smoke it like it's going out of fashion, the police had a friendly conversation with them so don't hold out much hope with the dibble

 

[Serene Serena]

Six months is no time at all when trying for a baby. Telling her that isn't going to help though. I would be looking to distract her from her obsession with getting pregnant - a girl's night out or weekend away, tickets to a gig or a festival, something she won't be able to do once she has a baby. I struggled to get pregnant the first time, and again, having my second baby was a journey in itself so I can sympathise. It's easy to become consumed with the need to be pregnant. We took a hiatus and went travelling for 6 months, although the way the world is at the moment, that's probably not a good idea!

 

[RoseyThorney]

I’m gonna try really hard not to doxx myself here…

Someone I know has been joking to a group of us about some wildlife cruelty they recently did. So cruel it ended the animal’s life. They seemed to think we’d all laugh and joke with them about it but very quickly started changing the story to say “for legal reasons” xyz happened and now they’re trying to say they were joking and it never happened after all. The thing is, they gave so many details that there’s no chance it didn’t happen.

Should I report it to the police? I want to remain anonymous so the animal welfare contact is not an option. I’m aware that a fine can be involved but also a prison sentence. I don’t think this person should get away with what they’ve done but I think the guilt of a potential prison sentence would weigh heavily on me.

 

[chickhicks86]

Question for you all? What have you bought that has enhanced or made your life easier? I have a budget of about €500 and want to buy myself something beneficial to me. I'm a busy working Mum of two autistic preteens. Life has been hard (think fighting for every little thing!) up until the last year of two but we seem to have come through it and finally we have a little extra cash for us.

A proper decent and quiet fan!

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

This is not really a problem but I need help

I’ve been given an early Christmas present, £200 voucher for John Lewis. I don’t shop there particularly often and when I do it’s usually gifts for other people! I need inspiration on what to buy….had a tough year for lots of reasons and money has been tight so I sort of want to treat myself but don’t know to what! So my current thoughts are:

1. Splurge (on…?)
2. Use it to buy Christmas presents and keep the money I’ve saved for Christmas instead
3. Spend it in Waitrose on a fancier food shop?

I’ve just bought nice bedding from elsewhere as that would have been my first thought otherwise….

I’d splurge on a nice leather bag or perfume. If there’s a bit left do a Waitrose picky-bit shop. Imo M&S has better food, Waitrose just has weirder (posh) combinations.

 

[littlepup]

Our neighbour is a complete dick. I'm fairly sure I've seen him fill up the JCB he's using for landscaping works with red diesel. Would you report him for it?

As longs as he’s not driving it on the road, it’s ok to do that, in fact that’s what it’s for.

 

[chickhicks86]

Hi everybody, not sure where else to put this but random seems to fit. I have this general feeling that I am unable to tolerate life.....I am not suicidal, I am not depressed, I am anxious though. But this is more of a feeling that as soon as some kind of minor inconvenience comes along, like a change of appointment, or an extra task, or my daughters friends aren't free when I have tried to arrange a playdate, or my husband is upset with me or something, I go straight from regulated to completely unregulated and cannot cope with the feelings. I have always had this overarching feeling that I would be better off dead, not that I have or had any plans to take my life. Does any of this make sense?! I am just fed up with feeling like this and don't know why I do feel like this so I am kinda hoping someone recognises themselves in this and has already found the answer!

Just very quickly replying, but do you think you could be neurodiverse? I think I am probably somewhere on the spectrum, and a lot of this resonates with me. I am just heading out now, but you are not alone xx

 

[Captainmouse]

Yeah probably, not sure the police will actually do anything though! It’s all very annoying

Maybe not, but letting them know that a police report has been filed, might spur them into action, also ask for details of their insurance company and say you will be submitting a claim.

 

[Darvos]

Congratulations! Love a good news problem. I wouldn’t have thought of splitting it and keeping some secret. It’s a good idea if it feels right for you, because you get to share the celebration energy (I tuck away all winnings, cashback, owt like like, in my global index tracker, so am rubbish at the fun stuff )

 

[Former_Antelopee]

I had a water leak (leaky loo) and got an email from the water company to say my bill is high check for a leak. The leak was fixed start of December. I just got my water bill in the post and it's gone up again (£47 I live alone). It says the billing period is July-december so I assume I'll just have to wait 6months to see the improvement of fixing the leak?

 

[Serene Serena]

I’m not asking for advice as such but is it just me who thinks it’s distasteful for our manager/head to joke about being broke when she earns double our wage which is well above the average salary and she knows we don’t earn like she does. I don’t know what she wanted us to respond to that. So strange and then it’s awkward when everyone goes silent yet a couple of weeks ago was boasting about how many properties she owns. So disingenuous.

I would call her out on it. I work in an industry where the main workforce (including me) get slightly above minimum wage. The management team are on 4 times that, and if one of them told me they were broke, I’d tell them they need money management lessons asap.

 

[Magwitch]

I’m pretty sure the lion poo only works for cats. Dogs are not deterred by other animals’ poo! Honestly just have a word with the owner. I personally think it’s rude to allow your dog to enter someone else’s property, let alone do its business there, but she might well be oblivious.

Also your grass will be fine. My dog wees in the same places in the garden and has done for years. No issues with the lawn.

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

My friend is going away with his partner and needs someone to feed their rabbit. It's only one day I'd have to go but he lives 20 minutes away and is have to go before work. I've done it once before but don't want to get into the habit of doing so. He has a relative that lives a few minutes walk away who'd normally do it but this relative is nosey in the house so he doesn't want him to do it. I did say I'm working so don't really have the time. The first time the relative was away with them so I did it but I don't want to keep doing it if the relative is there to do it.
I'm just hoping if I don't reply for a few days then reply to say I'll do it he'll say don't worry he has asked the relative but if not I'll have to do it then

Just tell him you can’t help out and that he needs to ask the relative

 

[UsernameBlank]

Do people recommend using a mortgage advisor? I used one when I was a first time buyer and not long until my mortgage is due to renew. My first one recommended a 2 year deal but I said no I want 5 years so went for that. Glad I did as the rate went up a lot a few months later. Just makes me wonder whether or not I can just do it myself

Personally I never use a mortgage advisor to renew. I’m with Santander so upto 6 months in advance I can look at all their rates/deals and decide. They are a large bank that I feel I get a really good rate/deal and don’t need to be changing companies. I do this online and also always select the deal with no fee and lowest rate for however long I want to fix for. Done this for the last 20 years and find it straightforward and always feel I’ve got a good deal.

 

[Captainmouse]

Apparently it is a thing! Cats hate it and you can buy it online, presumably from zoos!

Zoopoo

 

[Magwitch]

Oh and also, if the bone is cooked, it's no good for foxes, same as dogs. Very dangerous.

 

[bozlem3080]

I had a biopsy over 2 weeks ago, wasn't told the timescale of getting the results, the whole appointment was awful, felt a burden as the staff wanted to go home & they had to get everything out again even though I turned up 10 mins early for my appointment, I want to call to see if anything is back but fear they will probably tell me to just wait, but part of me feels it was never sent in the first place as they were in such a rush to finish & get home.

 

[Snippysnips]

Has anyone ever had their child deliberately hurt them?

Tonight we were watching a Christmas movie all laid out on the sofa as a family, my 7 year old son moved to lay down on top of me and asked if he’d hurt me with his elbow, (he commonly leans to get up and I’m usually what he leans on) I said no, he then lightly whacked me with an open palm and asked if that hurt, I said no and asked why he was doing that, he didn’t answer and settled down. About 20 mins later he did it again across my throat but this time really hard, I answered that it DID hurt, and he said under his breath “yesssss!” with a huge grin. I paused the film, asked what the fuck was going on, why did he hurt me and enjoy it, and he couldn’t give me an answer. His dad took him up to bed to let me calm down.

I’m still really freaked out about it, my kid is very sweet and cuddly but seeing him actively enjoy hurting me is burned into my brain and I’m sat here staring at his Christmas presents I need to wrap and I can’t bring myself to do it, I want to refund it all and buy him therapy because clearly I’m doing some vastly wrong.

Is this a normal thing? Am I raising a psychopath? Where the fuck has my sweet child gone?

Could it be influenced by something? Friends, video games, TV? Sometimes when kids do something out the blue there's usually something that's influenced it

I'd maybe sit him down an say that until he can give a reason then perhaps restrictions need to be put in place like not seeing friends, no gaming, limited or no TV etc, if he thinks he's going to lose something then maybe he will be open to talk about it

Totally not your fault though, with what kids have access to an with having friends that may have the freedom to whatever they want to view (social media, 18+ content etc) because their parents aren't bothered/not aware of what they are seeing, it can turn kids behaviour into night an day