The advice thread for random problems #6

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Thank you, I just feel so lost at the moment, I know I should be grateful for a roof over my head & food etc….but I just feel I will be stuck in a shared house forever now, never having a place to call my own I can’t even have people round as there is no communal area, just my bedroom, I’ve applied for some jobs today even if they are 8hrs a week it would bump my pay up a bit, my debts I won’t pay off for another 10-15yrs so they are hanging over me as well, it’s taken me 3mths to afford a pair of work shoes as the others had holes in them it’s just essential things like that I can’t even afford, I’ve cancelled my gym membership I can’t afford it anymore, I’m absolutely miserable, I’m not saying I want to be a millionaire but at my age & willing to work any hours surely that counts for something?!

It does count! And you are completely entitled to feel the way you do. It's just from experience, I know that you can spiral when things aren't going well and that's why I always try to have a positive attitude.
I don't know if you've physically have gone and knocked on doors but do try that. We always hire people who knock on our door even if we might not be looking. Especially on trading estates people tend to hire like this. Try the smaller companies and see if you can get a better job or more hours.
But I think if you like pets then maybe doing pet sitting is a great way of making extra money

 

[HankMcPrank]

Congrats! Deffo try ginger, you can get ginger sweets.

Thank you that is great. xx

 

[Jas28]

Hey I'm mid 30s and I think my dad is abusing me. I could be completely wrong but either way he's making me feel like poo on shoes.

*he is always shouting and swearing at me

*regularly threatening to kick me out of the home

*telling me get a job (unfortunately I recently lost mine as jobs were cut)

*opens my bank statements and loudly asking what I'm spending my money on/telling me off for spending my money

*screaming at me in public

I can't afford to leave but I can't say anything because it makes him worse idk what to do.

That’s awful, sorry that’s happening to you. Have you tried setting some boundaries with him, I know it’s easier said than done. Could you avoid going outside with him and letting him know you won’t tolerate being spoken to like that. Hope you’re able to get job and move out

 

[Melian]

I live in England if that's relevant:
As a HA tenant whose responsibility is mice? HA say contact council to which the council told me to go back to my HA

 

[Thank(space)you]

I'm going to a butlins adult weekend next weekend. How much spending money do you think I should take?

 

[Shoequeen91]

What I’m about to ask is probably really trivial but it’s really starting to get to me. How do you tell someone you don’t like someone without looking like a bad person? My friend has this friend who I find really difficult to be around because I find she’s one of those that negs you, keeps her back to me, talks over me when we’re out. She met my friend through work and I’ve known my friend from when we were really young. I don’t really like this girl who is friends with my friend and she’s now been invited to something we were doing together with two of our other friends and to be honest it’s really taken the shine off it for me. I’m worried I’m going to come out looking like the bad guy when really I’m trying to protect my own mental health by keeping my distance/not wanting her there cause she doesn’t make me feel good about myself given the way she presents herself and treats me (as I’ve displayed with the behaviour above).

I’ve never had to do this before or when I’ve found myself in a similar situation I’ve been able to let it run off me like water off a ducks back but now I’m older quite frankly sick of being a people pleaser and making myself feel like shit in the process

 

[Jas28]

This If she's especially friendly and easy to talk to she probably already has many friends and therefore not looking for more. And that is no reflection on yourself

Yeah that’s what I thought - they aren’t interested.

 

[yogiessexdubs]

"Legally" nothing I wouldn't have thought. You might get a gesture of goodwill voucher out of them, and it's very naughty that they didn't update you - something must have happened to the van or driver. I understand it's very inconvenient though - you must be so so annoyed! Call or message them asap, if it was an emergency they might not have been able to get in touch yesterday but possible can still sort something for you today?

Thank you, I don’t do the deliveries very often either it’s typical! . I did wonder if the van had broken down but no excuse not to contact their customers.
I’ve gotten ready to go into a store today, I’ll call them but I don’t think their lines open until 10:00. Debating whether to try do the whole shop & then cancel the online order. Thank you so much.

 

[HankMcPrank]

I had nausea with my last pregnancy till 22wks, never sick but was sick in previous pregnancies & don’t know which was worse, I used to have ice lollies mainly the fruit pastille ones they seemed to help me a lot.

Same as me, an ice lolly was lovely yesterday and helped me xx

 

[Mamacita]

Does anyone have any recommendations for getting rid of smell from activewear? Since I started running more all my gym clothes smell awful no matter how much I wash them

 

[Pesky Tarian]

Advice re paying off a mortgage please. I always thought that you paid a solicitor or your bank to hold the deeds one settled. However I have been told that as it's all electronic now it sits with the land registry free of charge?. This seems too convenient to be true! Or is my way of thinking out dated?

 

[yogiessexdubs]

Could you get in touch with the landlord or estate agent of your previous address to see if they'd kindly pass on your contact details to the new owners / residents?

I don’t think it’s possible, I lived there many years ago ..

 

[Juju]

Need some advice please. I found a large lump in my breast this week, saw my gp the next day who is referring me to the breast clinic. Yesterday I’ve had a text from the gp booking me in for a blood test on Monday.

Has anyone been through this, Is it normal to take bloods and what happens at the breast clinic? Will it just be a mammogram anc you have to wait weeks for results. Any advice gratefully received x

 

[becca7721]

When I worked in the nhs two separate days would trigger this whereas being off longer once would take longer to trigger (though it would do so), it also depended on the days e.g. Monday and Friday were worse than others and days before or after leave were same. There’s an official name for it and it’s being used more and more.

i don’t know how your notes would help? Maybe they want to see if you’ll be off frequently? I wouldn’t refuse as it’s not going to help, but that’s just me.

 

[Rodneytrotter]

I recently had some of my son's 14/15-year-old friends stay the night. Out of 7 of them, only two of the mums checked in with me that it was ok. I obviously had no issue with any of them staying, but I was surprised that the parents didn't message me, as I would want to know exactly where my child was (at 14, I was off clubbing in London doing all sorts, so I don't trust teens ).

If it were me, I would get the mum's number and ping her a little message, thanking her for having your daughter stay the night or something along those lines.

Ah thanks for replying. Did your son's friends ask for your number or did their parents already have it? Wow you had 7 of them lol

 

[NowIsGood]

They say no, I've had four claims in the last few years and can't say it has but renewals have been all over the place so hard to say for sure.

Thanks! She's never claimed for anything before and has very low insurance (old small car), so am curious to see what happens lol!

 

[Former_Antelopee]

So my work are looking at changing my teams hours. As it'll be a new contract I've heard they can change our benefits mostly sick pay. I have very good sick pay right now so I'll be annoyed if this happens as I'd rather not change my hours and they'll force us and then I'd lose the good sick pay. Old staff have the good sick pay, new staff it's not so good but when they changed this we got a letter to say that if your on the old sick pay your entitlement won't change. Is it just me that thinks it's unfair that I'll lose it if they force us to change our contracts? I do understand in a way as I'll be working less hours but still that's their choice not mine. Also if they then change us again at some point I've lost that benefit even if our hours went up in the future

 

[Penguin2022]

So my work are looking at changing my teams hours. As it'll be a new contract I've heard they can change our benefits mostly sick pay. I have very good sick pay right now so I'll be annoyed if this happens as I'd rather not change my hours and they'll force us and then I'd lose the good sick pay. Old staff have the good sick pay, new staff it's not so good but when they changed this we got a letter to say that if your on the old sick pay your entitlement won't change. Is it just me that thinks it's unfair that I'll lose it if they force us to change our contracts? I do understand in a way as I'll be working less hours but still that's their choice not mine. Also if they then change us again at some point I've lost that benefit even if our hours went up in the future

Have you got a union you’re a member of or can join? As far as I know any sort of contract change like that would have to go through consultation etc and the union rep would be all over something like that I’d imagine.

 

[chickhicks86]

I wonder it it’s your sinuses? They can affect teeth plus give headache, earache etc

I was going to suggest this as well. I had sinusitis and my cheeks and jaw/teeth hurt for a few weeks. Had antibiotics for it and the pain only started after finishing the antibiotics. It seemed to get worse at night as well

I also thought sinuses! I really suffer with mine - my cheeks and face are so painful and makes me really aware of the roots of my teeth, which could explain feeling like they are going to fall out? You don't have to be blocked up in your nose to feel like this either.

 

[Former_Antelopee]

I think I’ve got the context - you handed over the task and told your college to let you know the outcome. They didn’t do either and deleted it instead. Regardless of the shortcut you took, I don’t think this is on you.

Why did your colleague delete it without speaking to anyone especially as this now can’t be undone - this is the main problem here imo.

I should've added that he came to help with a side task to the task I'd told him about. So I'm wondering if he did the side task and then forgot about the task I said about (they aren't actually related just the same let's say client). I gave him the task I said about since he was helping with the other and both could be done straight after eachother but he got rid of the thing needed for that client to do the task I'd said I haven't been able to complete yet. If I had time I would've done that before the task he came to do but I wasn't watching him so I don't know if he did try or forgot. We also had a short conversation about it as he told me the way he tried and I said I don't know if that will work the client likes it better like this. I didn't go on to say do it the way it's meant to be done if what I said didn't work another time as I just expected that to be done if they couldn't do it the other ways.

The getting rid part is hard to describe without saying what it is. They are physical tasks so getting rid of it is an item not like a document so he could've forgotten what I said and got rid of it maybe