The advice thread for random problems #6

[Eyespy00]

I hope this is the right thread for this as I couldn’t see a particular one more suited.

Is anyone clued up on how court listings work?

Basically my FIL got arrested last year and his court date is tomorrow.
All we know is that there was potentially a child involved (his bail conditions was that he wasn’t allowed alone with under 16’s and had to moved out of the family home), he had his devices seized too and the arrest came after a trip to the leisure centre.
He will not tell anyone what he’s been charged with or arrested for, the only thing he’s said is he’s been accused of something he didn’t do.
Obviously this is extremely concerning given the secrecy & I have just had a child myself into that family.

Now my question is, I cannot see his name listed on the Court websites for tomorrow. I have 100% got the date and location correct but he’s not on there. Is there any way I can find out what he’s being sent to court for, can I ring them and enquire? If so do I have to give them any information?
Any help would be greatly appreciated.

 

[saltandvinegarcrisps]

Found a small chip in mum's car windscreen. We're with direct line, if I claim a fix through the insurance could it cause a rise in premium come renewal?

I had a chip repaired on insurance last year, renewed at a lower rate through same insurance company this year.

 

[Captainmouse]

Just had a look, I wonder if it's bugged for you, I went into account, my payments, wallet an then just clicked on the card, hit edit an scrolled to the bottom for the remove option

The options edit, remove, cancel and save are available, but clicking on them does nothing, ditto the x to close the page

 

[petitspois]

Not sure where to put this and it's very boring sorry. I have quite a few people on Christmas Day and I'm stressing as I don't have a large oven. I'm cooking chicken and beef and want to cook one chicken the night before and somehow reheat on the day just so I'm sure I have plenty to go around. How would you reheat the chicken to keep it moist (hate that word)? I was thinking of carving and plating the meat then microwaving it while covered and hoping for the best. Any advice very welcome and sorry for the dull question.

 

[Snippysnips]

Does anyone use apps to help with screen time? Am not really looking to block things out completely, just want to keep track of how much time am using on certain apps to make me more aware to try to minimise my time, an perhaps a night mode where I can't be scrolling endlessly at night, I really know I shouldn't be but once am on those reels I find am just none stop scrolling

 

[Snippysnips]

If they’re sitting with their engine running that’s not legal so you could report it.

Otherwise window films, even the reflective ones will make it dimmer inside so I wouldn’t want to have to put up with that all day for some peace at night. A curtain or if the light is low a half blind would sound like your best bet.

Yeah it seems like the window firm isn't going to work out which is a pity, I do have blinds an curtains but like I said I prefer having then open as it just makes the room all closed in an I hate that

unfortunately nothing gets done about people who leave their cars running idle, I go out in the morning an there must be like 8 neighbours all leaving their cars running while they decide to run in an out their houses grabbing shit, so no one cares about here

 

[Meg78]

My son started school last year and became friendly with a child in class, met their family on a play date and has become obsessed with the older brother ever since; follows him around school, makes a beeline every day to play, when I asked who he plays with or who his best friend is he will always say the older child, not the younger one in the same class, and the parents are starting to notice/make comments and not in a friendly way.

What do I do? Should I discourage? Accept that it’s just a phase and the parents are being too sensitive? Apologise? Help!

 

[Former_Antelopee]

This person I work with has history of making up stuff about people at work. He told me two things last week which one I didn't think was true but it could've been and the other I am more sure isn't true.
I mentioned the first one to someone else saying I don't think it's true but she said this and I got in confirmed that it wasn't true. The other thing I have a feeling he's told one of the people it involved that I've said it to him rather than the other way around. It's someone I directly work with and is about him saying something about our manager. I didn't mention this to the other person I mentioned the other thing about as I don't believe it's true. But now I'm worried that the person involved thinks I said it from a comment he made the other day. It could've just been a general comment but I'm not sure.
Not sure if I mention it to the person I trust the most at work. Say don't say to anyone else but if it's bought up at any point I can say I told her I thought this was going to happen so ask her. Or just leave it and see what happens?

 

[TheGlossy]

I’m having a bit of an issue.

I’m dealing with a professional that I’ve known for a few years. We have regular appointments. In the last few months, I’ve noticed a few planning inconsistencies from their end such as sending me the wrong links for meetings, not advising me of their time off and leaving me wondering if our meetings still stand etc.

They emailed me last week during my time off to tell me they needed to cancel our upcoming appointment due to a personal matter. I of course understood and sent them a supportive response.

I therefore went ahead and made other plans for this time slot as I took it the appointment was being cancelled.

I then suddenly got a meeting invite from them essentially reinstating our initial appointment at the last minute. The same appointment they said they’d need to cancel.

As I pay for their services, I found that a bit unprofessional, especially as I’m a longstanding client. I really sympathise with their personal matter but what was the point of sending me an email explaining their personal situation as the reason to cancel the appointment they later on reinstated at the last minute?

Although I felt bad about this, I sent them a response stating that my understanding was that the appointment was cancelled and I now have another commitment. I politely asked to reschedule but they never responded.

Am I being too harsh?

 

[Bobbleowl90]

Very boring grown up question. I have a wall in my garden that I painted white last year. After the bad weather it’s now turned green with algae and grime. I can’t jet wash it cos it’ll knock the paint off (I tried) - what can I use to clean it off?

 

[Snippysnips]

Just had a look, I wonder if it's bugged for you, I went into account, my payments, wallet an then just clicked on the card, hit edit an scrolled to the bottom for the remove option

 

[petitspois]

The options edit, remove, cancel and save are available, but clicking on them does nothing, ditto the x to close the page

I'd do Ctrl+alt+delete and close your browser, turn the machine off, leave it a bit then on again and see if that sorts it.

 

[Jas28]

Is there a way someone can view my WhatsApp status without it showing that they have? I don’t want to ask anyone I know incase they think I’m hiding things from some people. It’s just someone has responded to my WhatsApp status but it doesn’t show me that they’ve viewed it and I thought that’s odd

 

[Codiaeum]

Well I'm coming into an inheritance soon so I'll be free to do a lot of things I wouldn't have been able to do earlier. It's been my dream to live a soft life for years, I despise the rat race we're all forced into.

I could easily afford the cabin plus any renovations that would be needed (depends on what I am allowed to do by the council). This cabin is ideal because its close to a small village while still conpletely removed from it. It's in the middle of the woods of which I would own 3000 m2.

I will have to talk to the owner how it is designated. If it had a forest designation only and the cottage is grandfathered in, I would be ok, but probably won't be allowed to connect to mains water and electricity or do big stuff to the existing structure.

Idk maybe I'm being delusional to even consider this. I'm just desperate for change and so so tired of continuing on a path that doesn't feel like mine, and hasn't for years.

Oh, now i get it and I think it actually sounds verrry nice. Close to a village but not inside the village would be right up my alley as well. My personal concern would be about the utilities, especially water as otherwise you'll have to do a lot of water management for freshwater and also likely periodically get wastewater removed. It seems though someone has been living there already so maybe this part is known and taken care of.
Idk, I'd also think about it and I really don't think it's crazy. Especially if you are looking to change something from the regular rat race and also have the means to do it.

 

[Snippysnips]

I need advice about my child’s sport! He’s played football for the last 2 years, he’s 8. He’s alright but not brilliant at it and he doesn’t put very much effort in at times which frustrates the coaches during matches. He wants to give it up. It would actually suit me very well for him to give up football - training and matches are time consuming and he’s starting to get to the stage in school where there’s more homework and we’ve been rushing homework in the afternoons to make time for dinner and football practice.

But despite all this i just can’t manage to cut the cord. The season is about to start and i have to decide what to do. I think team sports are so good for kids and i love that it’s improving his fitness. The football club is near our home and it’s a community thing too, being part of a club and all that comes with that. And once he’s out he won’t be getting back in.

He does have the opportunity to play football with friends in our estate as we are lucky enough to have a football field nearby. Could this be enough? Should we keep at it even when it feels sometimes like flogging a dead horse?

As someone who was in this position as a kid (wanted to give something dancing/performing but parents didn't) I'd said let your son lead you, kids change, things that were once enjoyed can be lost, if it's something that he's just enjoyed but isn't passionate about then people getting frustrated like the coaches are just going to push him more an more away from it, many sports/hobby's you need to have a passion an it doesn't sound like he has one but that doesn't mean he doesn't enjoy it at times

If there's a way you can let him miss a season then go back in a year or two when he's ready then do so, it could just be he's feeling a bit burnt out with it, wants to pursue other things, or just in general needs a break

But I wouldn't force it, or go down the route of "if you give this up then you aren't going back" because we all change an sometimes a break it's all that's needed to realise that you either did miss it an want back or it was just something that you have moved on from

But as someone who was forced into dance/performing, it just leads to resentment, I have a hatred now with it all to the point if I had kids I would want them to stay clear from it

 

[Snippysnips]

I rent a storage unit to put a few bits in that I can’t fit into my accommodation probably about 6-8 boxes, over the last few months the prices have been going up with no warning, last month I was paying £67.06 today I’ve looked on my online banking & it’s gone up to £74.88, I’ve rang them to be told they are well within their rights to put the payment up as & whenever they want & because it’s an ongoing direct debit they don’t need to tell me!

I’m trying to find alternative storage but with not being able to drive it’s a pain sorting it out, at this rate it’s going to cost more that my monthly rent if they keep putting it up I may as well move in there Just after some advice on what to do.

Even if it's in the contract that prices can go up whenever, they still need to give notice for it, it's in my phone contract that prices can go up whenever they want but I'll still get notice from them when it's happening, the only difference is, I can't cancel it due to price increase because it's written into the contract that I agreed upon so I need to keep it to the end

I'd look over your contract with them an see what's written in, even if it's DD (which my phone is) they still need to give warning

 

[Snippysnips]

Anyone else's Facebook not allow full access to your photos despite having the permission as "always allow"? I've tried taking the permission off then putting it back on, uninstalling an reinstalling, taking it back to default settings, but still can't get full access to it

 

[Mamacita]

So not sure where else to post this but I'm torn what to do. My current housemate has thrown a curve ball and is moving out. I found out yesterday so I was straight onto looking at places as I can't afford the current rent by myself. I mean, I could with bills on top but it's a stretch, but funnily enough, my friend asked me to move in with her as she's looking someone to look after the house and her cat while she's away (she works as cabin crew) and she's suggested I pay £600. I have 4 weeks to find a place lol

I went to view a place for £625 for rent for a flat only, and I think I'm in a a good position to get it, and with bills ontop, it leaves me with £1000 to pay my own bills, save, groceries and live basically.

But if I move in with my friend, it leaves me with £1200 a month to play with. I currently pay £600 with my housemate who pays the same but we overpay on gas and electricity etc so my current bills are only £500 maybe.

So I'm not sure what to do. I like the idea of living with my friend as we're the same age (34), similar attitudes etc, but do worry it might go tits up and I lose a friend. BUT then it oculd bring us closer together and she could be gone for a week at a time so i'll have a house (as she's got a 2 bedroom house with a garden) to myself.

I know this is an extremely lucky problem to have in some ways, espically with the state of hte world is in the UK. so any advice would be appreciative

I don't think anyone can tell you what to do as it depends on so many things. Have you ever stayed with the friend, do you know if your lifestyle would match in terms of how you like to live, cleaningness etc? Is she likely to turn into a demanding landlord ? Do you like cats and you're not allergic? On the other hand with living on your own could you still afford it if the rent or bills go up?

 

[cowtastrophe]

It's really difficult isn't it?

They always seem to look at exercise first on behaviour TV shows, is your dog getting enough walks during the day? from your post, your dog seems to be in the garden quite a lot. Can you flip it so your dog has walks, goes out for a pee etc. but is otherwise indoors?

If you could afford it maybe try a behaviourist but you can look at a lot on you tube too. Hope you find something that works.

She gets two decent walks per day and we often play with her too. In summer we usually have the kitchen door open so the dogs can go in and out as they please, the barky one especially loves to sun herself. Perhaps I'll try keeping them in more and see if it makes much difference.

I was always told that a quick distraction can help, a little spray of water on the nose works (not a lot though) it's enough to sort of stop them because they wonder what the heck was that, you can get spray bottles that give a mist which would be ideal for it, doesn't hurt them or anything but it stops their thoughts for a second

The only other thing would be to try a specialist, but depending on her age it just might be something that won't ever be trained out of her

But the worst thing I was told is not to react to it, any type of shouting or telling off makes them think it's a competition to be as loud as the other, it's best not to say anything an just remove them from whatever is causing it an put them into a quiet space or room to let them calm themselves

I did try a water pistol to distract her - as in squirting next to her, not at her! It does work sometimes, but if I'm not in the garden with her, I have to keep stopping work and racing downstairs to see to her. She's only two so still quite young.

I've got to admit sometimes I do shout out of sheer frustration when she's going ballistic but you're right, it's not a good habit and I will stop.

Thank you both.

 

[Snippysnips]

There are apps available which will automatically block spam, spoof and scam calls true caller is one

Thanks I'll try one out, will they still be able to tell it's a scam if it's just a regular mobile number?