The advice thread for random problems #6

[MimiRogers]

I need to plan a party for my husband. Would you do it at home? - Cheaper, less formal (but home is tiny with 1 not great bathroom that I would be a bit embarrassed for people to see till we can afford to do it up) or...host a meal in a restaurant -EXPENSIVE but comfortable for guests etc....in an ideal world I would do it at home but just feel our house is a lot smaller than our friends etc and it might be a bit cringy

 

[Snippysnips]

I’m finding that since they turned off 3G it’s been shite. I’m with Vodafone.
But if you wanted to try it as one of the big network options, Voxi is Vodafone and incredibly cheap relatively with no contract, it just rolls monthly unless you cancel.
You could activate a sim for a month and try it to see if it’s better than EE then do a phone package if it it without any risk.
(they should all be 14 days risk free but I don’t know if that actually works in practice when you get a new phone and contract)

Thanks I'll maybe have a look into it, I've been on 4G an it's always been rocky but with the move to 5G now it's basically just straight up shit

 

[Snippysnips]

Washing machine time isn't like real time though! A lot of newer ones have really long cycles to be more eco so make sure it will do what you want if you like a shorter cycle.

Yeah this one's old, if you put it to an hour's cycle then it used to be an hour, but the electronics are just so trashed now with it that it takes hours because it keeps resetting itself halfway through, but if you just switch the thing off it keeps the door locked so you've no choice but to wait till it decides when it's done

It's how I need a new one, even if it's eco friendly an takes a bit longer I know it's not going keep resetting itself like the one I have where you never know when it's going finish

 

[Jas28]

I have a manager who is a bit scatter brained, the way they explain things is all muddled and not structured at all, as well as their written communication. Obviously it’s not something I can mention as it’ll sound like a personal attack which is not what I’m about. I just would like clear structured communication. I feel I understand things less when they explain things which makes no sense so I just learn on my own way which is a bit sad. Not sure whether to ask them for clearer communication?

 

[tomato_paste]

Thoughts about selling a house? I have the problem that I have 5 different types of flooring all the way through the house which makes for a very chaotic feel in the house. One of them is a more expensive vinyl which I just had done on the stairs. The other is hardwood, left over from the previous owner in bedroom 1, and the third is cheap laminate in bedroom 2 and 3 that I can’t buy any longer. Should I redo the floors with the vinyl to get a consistent look? Or is that money thrown out the window? I'm guessing the buyers will probably tear out the whole thing anyway but if it gives me 5k more on the sales price it might be worth it.

 

[boomska]

Thank you I’m just being silly I know with the feeling they are going to fall out, think lack of sleep & being in pain has heightened it more for me, I will ring 111 see if they can help & pluck up the courage to see a dentist, my own fault for putting it off for so long,

Oh I’m the same about my teeth! I even take photos of my teeth and send them to my closest friends asking if they think they’re looking different as I’ve got a couple of gaps which is absolutely fine!

 

[Bobbleowl90]

My top molar (6th tooth on) had a root canal years ago. Around 2 years ago the dentist said it would probably need a bridge but not yet. I had another check up since and everything was all fine. For the past two weeks my tooth has been throbbing and I put it down to my sinuses but given the length of time, I’m assuming it’s actually my tooth. It’s got a hairline crack it down to the gumline so I’m wondering if a bridge or a crown is even possible. Anyone else had anything similar? I really don’t want to lose my tooth

 

[Scorpihoe]

Hi ladies!

This is not a “problem” but was just wondering if anyone had any helpful advice! I had a party to celebrate my baby being born recently and I’m so grateful we received so so many gifts, he’ll never need anything again but there are a lot of duplicates, items in smaller sizes, items that I just wouldn’t put him in (not safe), or things we don’t use. Only one of my cousins gave us gift receipts so I can exchange/get a gift card, but no one else did.

Do shops like H&M, mamas and papas, next etc take items back if they’re new with rags without a gift receipt? Alternatively I can sell items on vinted but they go for very cheap and I’d rather get as much money back as I can so I can buy him items in his size or things he’ll need in the future! Thank you xx

 

[Juju]

When I was seen at breast clinic I saw the consultant, had a mammogram, consultant reviewed it and I then saw the consultant again afterwards.

Re the bloods it might be that the breast clinic ask for bloods prior to the appointment so they don't have to get them done while you are there (and you have to wait for the results). I see a hospital consultant and get my bloods done at the GP 24-48 hours before I go.

Try not to worry the vast majority of lumps are nothing

Thank you for replying. My family have a history of breast cancer but I’m hoping it’s nothing. It’s quite the wake up call though not to take things for granted.

 

[boomska]

I’m moving out of my rental property and the paint (I think?) is pealing/come off so I want to give it a lick of paint before I go. Daft question but what paint do I buy for it? I’ve googled it but it’s confusing. I just want something white, gloss and cheap haha

 

[didisaythatoutloudoops]

Small bit of work advice - do I go to my boss about this?

I got invited to a Teams call today by a colleague I'll call Y, a technical one for an upcoming event (I don't really do technical stuff, so bit perplexed, but stayed to be polite). Gave our boss an update after the call as she is on a work trip. Boss asked why I was even in the meeting, and I said I was confused too, but had a question to ask her anyway that came from the meeting and she gave me an answer. Told colleague Y the answer (it involved follow up) and I asked colleague Y if she's happy to do that or if I should and that task should be managed by me going forwards - I outlined this task hasn't been under me previously so I'm just checking to see if it is this time. Her response was 'well it isn't in my job description' so I said 'no problem, I'll talk to our boss'.

A bit later, my boss told me she told colleague Y to not invite me to technical calls from now on as there's no need, that our roles should remain as they are. I said thanks, happy with that my end as I'm busy enough with what's on my plate.

About an hour later I'm in the break room and colleague Y asks to speak to me. She does so in front of our CEO and deputy CEO's offices, who have their doors open and can clearly hear. She asks me 'why I said I'd be happy to do a task if I'm not'. And I said it's absolutely not about not wanting to do it, I just wanted to make sure that I understood my role in the event and that nothing slipped through the cracks by me missing something being under my care. She kept on getting really quite close to my face and insisting that 'if I have bad feelings or tensions I need to tell her to her face' and 'be honest if you don't want to do something' and I was just... perplexed. I kept trying to give her a way out and diffuse the tension by saying I know I ask plenty of questions, we're a newly merged team and I'm just making sure I'm not missing anything, genuinely always happy to help where I can - even if it's pointing someone to the right person. She could clearly see it wasn't really going anywhere and ended it all with 'well you just shouldn't say you're happy to do something when you're not' and walked off.

I could tell she was still pissed off, but it felt really quite aggressive. She's also junior to me (I'm management, she is not) and doing it in front of the CEO's office felt deliberate. I feel like I'm unsure of two things here:

1) should I tell my boss, who returns from her work trip tomorrow, what happened?
2) did I do anything wrong here in how I handled the confusion?

Sorry for the long post!

 

[Bobbleowl90]

Can anybody give me some advice for work please. I’ve been covering a managerial role whilst my manager is off sick with a terminal illness. Really enjoying it, made plenty of progress and without sounding unsympathetic, pretty much been told the job is mind eventually. My manager is back next week and it’s difficult and sensitive as unsure how long they have left (initially was told 18 months, six months ago). I don’t particularly want to give some of my roles back as I’m really enjoying it and like I say, doing well. I’ve been told I can continue as I am and nothing will change but I don’t know if they will stand by this. We have a meeting next week to discuss, myself, my manager and our manager above them. Any advice on how to handle this in a sensitive way? Basically I don’t want to have been doing all this for almost a year (haven’t been paid extra) to just be dropped now.

 

[didisaythatoutloudoops]

Is anyone trying to sell a house? Is the market just rubbish at the moment?
Been on 5 weeks, had 5 viewings in the first week and then nothing since.

I think if your house is in the higher price range (not meaning overpriced, just meaning a house large enough to command a higher price, such as 4+ beds) then it is an awful market. With the economy how it is, people are trying to downsize more than anything (myself included).

I'm struggling to find 1/2 bedroom places but see plenty of 3/4/5 on the market.

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Hi all

So I received a letter today from the police collision process unit stating that at 14:10 on 3rd Jan 2025 my car was involved in a road traffic accident on X road in X town, where it is suspected that the driver may have committed an offence in contravention of the road traffic act 1988.

My car hasn’t been in any accident nor do I believe it has caused any accident.. the weird thing is, I WAS in X town on the date mentioned, as my friend lives in that town and I was visiting her. I drove from my town to X town and arrived at my friends house at 13:00, my car was parked on my friends road which is not X road and isn’t near X road, and I then drove home at 16:00 so my car wasn’t actually being driven at 14:10.

I have also had a look at my route to and from my friends house and I am 99% sure I didn’t go on X road.

I need to fill in a form and return, which is difficult because the form is asking if I was the driver at the time of the alleged offence or if I wasn’t, then who was, but doesn’t give an option to say that my car was not in an accident, they also haven’t said what the offence is and I’m reluctant to tick the ‘I was the driver at the time of the alleged offence’ without knowing what it was, especially as I wasn’t driving my car at that time…

I’m just really confused, especially as I actually was in the town on that date!

I will include a covering letter detailing the above with my form.

Any advice? Could it be that a car with a similar number plate was involved in a car accident and it just so happened that I was in the same town on the same day at the same time!?

Fill in the form. It’s just a preliminary form and then the actual allegations etc will be sent out in which you can deny the event

 

[Kim Mild]

What are kids adidas trainers like size wise ? Do people usually find they are similar sizing to high street shoes? I'll likely be ordering onlinw

 

[Snippysnips]

@Snippysnips just be a bit careful. I know some portable/temporary blackout blinds you use for babies can cause windows to crack if you leave them up in the day time due to heat buildup.

Oh, thanks for that, the sun does hit the window all day as well

 

[Sophiadee]

Sorry


But the police are needed now. Isn't 16 classed as a minor still. 16 is the legal age of consent, but not between a minor and an adult

It’s very disgusting and immoral but I don’t think it’s actually illegal above 16 which is wild

 

[BoogleC]

Any advice for managing someone who is passive aggressive and/or straight up rude when receiving constructive criticism. When calling out this behaviour it has only worsened as they have accused me of personally attacking them? HR have been useless, I am dreading each meeting with this person and know they are going to make my life hell again today

 

[Jas28]

Has anyone had diclofenac gel prescribed for a trapped nerve ? I had it prescribed by gp and I’ve found out it can cause heart attacks and stroke ?! The doctor didn’t mention this to me at all nor asked anything else

 

[JoeBloggs]

Found a small chip in mum's car windscreen. We're with direct line, if I claim a fix through the insurance could it cause a rise in premium come renewal?

They say no, I've had four claims in the last few years and can't say it has but renewals have been all over the place so hard to say for sure.