The advice thread for random problems #6

[yogiessexdubs]

Going to the hairdressers….. do you tip? If yes, how much?

I’ve never tipped before, partly as I’ve never found someone decent before, and partly as the prices are so expensive I begrudge having to pay extra. The current hairdresser I see is actually really great, first time in decades that I’ve gone back a second time, but when it came time to pay, and it’s £200 every 8 weeks, she hesitated at the card machine and I felt like it was expected. She didn’t say anything, and I’ve booked again, but now I fear that I’m being rude, what should I do?

If the hairdresser doesn’t own the business I tip. I’ve had a have a hard time over the years with diff hairdressers. I get on so well with mine now & she works part of an independent salon. I do tip her.

 

[petitspois]

Does anybody know how to remove card details from Amazon? I have been into my account, wallet, but am unable to remove or edit my card details, it allows me to edit previous cards, but not the current one, have wasted over an hour online with them, no help

I can do it by going into my account/your payments/wallet/edit

 

[griftalo]

I had some new internal oak doors a while ago, the untreated kind and unfortunately I never got around to treating them. Family life has rumbled on and they now have greasy finger prints (kids) and tea stains (husband nudging the door open, tea in hand). These seem ingrained , does anyone know how I can clean these before I oil them please?. Google suggested fairy liquid but it didn't lift anything.

I’d wipe with dilute bleach

 

[Rodneytrotter]

Parents of teenagers please help! My 14 year old daughter has arranged to sleepover at her friend's house Sunday evening, but I'm not sure on the etiquette, do I need the friend's parent's phone number? Do I just let my teen get on with it? They are organising it over WhatsApp. I know where the house is and who the girl is, but no idea on the parents. Never met them.

She hasn't been to a sleepover since she was in year 5 and she's year 10 now so I've no idea how these things work

 

[Chocolategoggler]

I guess it’s not quite the same but Mr Bloggs would say scratching his balls after a long day

That was my secret thought

 

[Former_Antelopee]

I'm not sure what to do with a situation at work.
I made a mistake on Wednesday. Gonna try and explain and hopefully make it make sense without saying what I do.

I took a short cut on an important task because I was in the middle of some other (imo more) important tasks and was multi tasking. I don't usually multi task as then I don't know where I'm up to on each task but one task had to be done differently this day meaning I had time to do bits of others whilst doing it as I had to wait for periods to complete it.

So the short cut, actually isn't a short cut a lot of the time but I thought I'd try it. We are told we can't do it but I know many people who still do. It was busy this day so I thought I'll do it whilst I do the other tasks and then I'll check it worked if not I'll go to the method we are meant to follow.

My colleague ended up taking over the short cut task and he just got rid of the whole task and didn't say. I'd written down I'd done the task as my plan was to go back and complete it if the other way didn't work whilst I was doing the other stuff. I told my colleague I've done it this way can you check it's worked and if not then try another way and obviously the if that didn't work the normal way I didn't say that as I thought it's obvious it needs to be completed so if the other ways don't work he'll do that. So since I've told him that it's not been done and still needs to make sure it is I go on to finish the other things.

Anyway a bit later he'd moved onto something new and had left my task and didn't mention to me about it not being completed. So I asked him did he complete it and he said no I just got rid of it. I try to find it and can't and it's not something we can get back fully.

So I tell the person in charge the whole story and she asks the manager what to do. He's annoyed obviously and tells us what to do, I do the part of the task he says to do but is annoyed as we aren't able to do the full task now.

I'm not sure what the person in charge told the manager as I was busy still so didn't hear the convo.

Now I don't know what to say if they ask me and I've been thinking for a few days. Do I just tell the truth as the person in charge knows the truth anyway so likely he'll say that? But I feel bad getting my colleague in trouble as he was just helping me but I am also a bit annoyed as I would've completed the task if he'd just left that part to me and I've told him it needs doing and he didn't complete it. I'm mostly annoyed at myself for trying the short cut way as I rarely do it I actually usually prefer the other way and most of the time find it quicker but because I was very busy on this day I thought I'd do the short cut way and I had in my head I needed to check and do it the proper way if I needed after I finished the other part takes I'd done.

Obviously I'll say it's my fault because I should've done it the proper way at first. But I don't feel I can say oh yeah I did it the way we aren't meant to and it didn't work so I just got rid of it? But I don't want to get my colleague in trouble as he was helping me and has been in trouble with management a lot recently. But also don't want to lie as the person in charge knows anyway and maybe already told the manager. So if they ask do I just tell the full truth or do I just say less maybe just say I tried it like that as I was too busy so thought I'd try and I was gonna go back and redo it if it didn't work but then they'll ask why I didn't?

I think that's the whole issue, I'm not even sure it makes sense how I wrote it. At the end of the day I don't think it was the worst mistake to make and I think the other tasks I prioritised were more important. I was also meant to have help but the person helping me originally was taken away for a while and I did 3 quarters of the tasks and he did a quarter. The colleague mentioned above he only came to help as an extra person as he'd finished his work and we were behind. If I had more help I would've completed the task myself and not done anything else during doing it.

I don't know whether to message the manager to apologise myself for not doing it correctly and explain I normally actually prefer to do it the proper way but I was busy so I thought I'd see if it could be done the other way whilst I finished other patients as I was behind and trying to catch up. Or just leave it and see if anyone says anything. The manager also spoke to me to tell me it was important to do the task but the method I use can work and often does and could've rectified it if my colleague didn't get involved/completed the task the way he also knows it should be done. The manager likes me but he really does not like my colleague who got rid of the task.

This is long and as I said I don't know if it makes sense

 

[Chocolategoggler]

I've been invited to a Muslim friend's house for a meal.
Should I take something and if so what.
I'm not sure what the expectations are. ,

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Thank you! I’m going to have a search for the solo travelling thread and do a bit of a search for groups in my area. You are right about me regretting stuff, I’m already starting to feel it.

I travel by myself all the time and when I want a bit more company I join a solo travellers group. There is a great one on Meetup that I've travelled with twice. I've also heard great things about Intrepid travel.
I completely understand where your friend is coming from though, when I had very little I hated feelind indebted to friends who paid my way. And I know, like you, they did it with pleasure but it's hard. It feels like a handout.
Maybe you could suggest smaller, cheaper weekend away and treat your friend as a birthday surprise?
I wouldn't let the fact that you have nobody to travel with stop you. Once you join the solo travellers groups you will see how many people are in the same boat

 

[boomska]

It sounds like you're torn between the need for change, more money and concerns about what it might do to your work-life balance and well-being.

It’s only natural to feel anxious about making a big career decision, especially when it's motivated by push and pull factors such as burnout and higher pay.

Ask yourself what matters most right now, is it more money, work-life balance, or time for friends and hobbies?

If social time is most important to you, shift work may feel isolating. If better pay is your priority, the opportunities in this new position might outweigh some of the downsides.

If you’re still unsure, doing the interview could help give you a clearer picture. Think of it as a way to learn more before making a decision. It may help to think of this as a learning experience rather than an all-or-nothing decision. Go into the interview with an open mind, knowing that you’re still in control, and you can always decline the new position if doesn’t feel right. Good luck!

Thank you!! This was so nicely put I definitely always want a healthy work life balance which I’ve got right now so I am worried it will upset that and I don’t think the more money will change that!

 

[chickhicks86]

A tick you would see little legs poking out at the point of entry - could it be a bug / spider bite?

 

[Snippysnips]

Thanks, I'll have a look at them, honestly didn't really have a budget set in mind, am expecting them to last really long so therefore don't mind spending a bit much on them just to get a good set

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Random problem - I am being cyber stalked by someone or maybe even a group of people

Locking things down and/or using a finsta instead for SM. Depending on the kind of stalking you should report it to the police

 

[Snippysnips]

What would be a good gift for someone who's just gotten a new home? Can't really go plants due to their cats, it isn't a first home either so don't really want to get like home care stuff since they are really going have everything they need

Stuck on what to gift them

 

[Former_Antelopee]

Seconded. Like, if you do someone a favour don't go making things worse for them. Just say no instead. Maybe there's a reason he's in trouble with manglement.

I just don't want to make it worse for him again maybe I should've just said it was gotten rid of by accident rather than saying he did it. Then the blames on me which it should be anyway for not doing it properly first time. But there was only 3 of us and obviously I wouldn't have done it as I knew it was there. The third person is who I told so he would've known the other person did it anyway and I think he heard me tell her about the take possibly.

I'm just very honest with my mistakes and have been in the past and never had anything said to me. Not that they are often but I think being honest helps. I think the moral in work is down anyway. My team feel they are getting blamed for a lot yet we are left short staffed. Like the shift before us had 6 staff, we had 3 staff for double clients

 

[littlepup]

iPhones. Anyone got the 15 pro and is it ok? Don’t want to upgrade to a silly price per month and this is cheaper than the 16 but obviously not the newest model. Just wondering peoples opinions and if they’d recommend. Thanks.

My OH has just done this. The 16 wasn’t vastly different. I’d usually say don’t buy old technology but it this instance they they didn’t really make many improvements between the two models.
The next release will probably be the next big jump as it seems to go in cycles.

 

[HelloStereo]

It sounds like you broke up because you’re just not compatible. Have you tried asking friends if that is something they would say about you? Do you have a more direct friend who would be honest but kind about it.

So you could think fuck him, he’s obviously been a poor communicator this whole time and kept his frustration hidden and just leave him in the past or you could ask him for some examples. But don’t rise to any bait, just say thanks for the feedback I’ll reflect on it.

it might just be clash between the two of you rather than a general fault in you! I wouldn’t bother arguing the toss with him though, what’s the point?

Yeah, I have asked my friends in the past if I am what he says I am and they say no. They don't really like him or understand why I still talked to him. He has always brought up a reason for us to fall out in the past, but never that I lack self awareness. Sometimes that I'm annoying though, but it will be around things like one time I invited him over to do some cooking as he had said in the past he enjoyed it, and he got annoyed that i was "pressuring him" or constantly asking him for things and then blocked me. And then he comes back as normal a few weeks later acting like nothing has happened.

I think in the end we're not compatible even as friends. I always feel like I am walking on eggshells to not upset him so he won't block me or fly off the handle, and it means I don't always say how I feel. And he obviously finds me unbearably annoying.

 

[boomska]

Gloss is for wood and trims? Do you mean that or for the walls? The wall one that’s has a bit of a sheen is “satin” as opposed to matte.

sorry I quickly typed it and forgot to say I just want to paint the windowsills lol

 

[Mamacita]

Does anyone go to Puregym? What attracts me to them is the cost is lower than my more local gyms . And the fact I'm less likely to bump into people I know there.

Chain gym like any other imo. Can get busy at popular times eg. 5pm. Has the main equipment needed. Some pure gyms will be better than others. What i really didn't like about some of them is having some machines on one floor, others on another. You see a machine taken so you go to another floor do something else, that one is taken so you go back to previous floor. Next thing you know you did a cardio workout instead of weights with all this walking about

 

[Captainmouse]

I can do it by going into my account/your payments/wallet/edit

Not working for me

 

[Former_Antelopee]

I got a save a date to a wedding around summer time and the bride told me the proper invited would be sent around mid October. I haven't got one do you think they just haven't sent them yet? Do I ask? I don't necessarily want to go tbh as I won't know anyone there but I'm going the hen party so I feel I have to go