The advice thread for random problems #6

[sephylily]

Up late at night with crazy leg, shin and foot pain whilst on my period. I can’t sleep it’s so bad any advice?

 

[chickhicks86]

So my previous job I was on a 4hr contract but did 20hrs a week. I was a supervisor on minimum wage but thought it would look good on my CV, I’ve got a new job told the manager I could do as many hrs they could offer me over 24 if possible no problem, I’m only being put in for 16hrs a week, I literally can’t survive, there are no extra hours to have, I’m single so not entitled to UC as according to them I earn ‘too much’ (I live in a HMO so bills included) but by the time I’ve paid my rent & debts I owe I have £65 a month for food, my only options are to either find another job with more hours but there don’t seem to be any around or to take on an extra job doing nights perhaps twice a week, I’m in my 40’s & feel like such a failure.

Will UC not even help towards your rent? If you have done an online calculator, these are not always correct, so do apply if you have only gone by this. In the nicest possible way - I don't think you can be earning too much to get it if working 16 hours a week, but there is a minimum threshold that you do have to earn - if you are earning under this amount you will be called into appointments to help you find a different job / more hours. This could actually be really helpful??

 

[Codiaeum]

I’d just like a little moan and vent. Judgement free please and if anybody has advice please give it.

Our dog has gone blind. It had been gradual but overnight it’s like she’s gone completely blind. This was two weeks ago.

Anyway it’s been awful. She keeps bashing her head and eyes. You cannot leave her for even a minute as she’ll start looking for you. She won’t wear goggles or the halo we got.

She doesn’t seem to be able to map our downstairs, even though she’s lived here her whole life and she’s 13.

I cannot do anything as she wants to be close. Now this isn’t the issue. The issue is she won’t sit or lay. She keeps walking and then bashing herself. It’s so bad because I can’t go to the toilet even.

It’s been stressful. I’m on edge all the time and so is Mr Lolz. I honestly don’t know how much longer I can mentally take this. At the moment her quality of life is still good so I won’t have her put down. But I feel awful for even thinking it sometimes.

I'm so sorry, that sounds tough for all of you. I'm not a dog owner, but my auntie had a dog that went blind as well. It took him a while to be better able to navigate, but it was tough at first, there were stairs he didn't always remember...
I do remember her explaining that they were trying to help the dog learn to navigate the place better by using scent and also sound. Not entirely sure how it was done as I haven't seen it in action, but I remember her saying that it was recommended to them and seems to have helped

 

[Snippysnips]

I live in the Alps and so far it's been able to handle everything (snowy streets, steep inclines, tight corners, etc) and it is pretty good in first and second gear. It's the motorways which it struggles with when I need to get to a high speed on an incline. In lower gears the power output is excellent, so that should work for you.

Thanks, will mostly be town driving, can't see me using motorways much, personally would love to stay off them lol, but good to know it handles well

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

I applied online then got a notification to attend a face to face meeting with a job coach or whatever they are called, I had to prove who I was ie photo ID & show my tenancy agreement, then said I wasn’t entitled to any help but to basically look for a better paid job or ask for more hours. I don’t know if it’s because I don’t have any dependents? So came away absolutely heartbroken that there is zero help out there for me.

I wouldn’t of taken the job I have now if I knew they wouldn’t give me a minimum of 24hrs, I’m so stupid to think that I was actually going to be better off instead I’ve just fallen flat on my arse again

Were you promised a certain amount of hours? Because you have some recourse if it was promised

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

So this is really trivial but it’s also upsetting me, I started a new job about a month ago, everyone is lovely apart from one person who twice now has commented about my name, the first instance was ‘my ex sister in law has the same name as you, I hate that name’ then he said ‘oh your name is in that song ha ha’ then reeled off the singer/band, now I have a pretty common name, it’s an ok name, I got home from work & just wanted to cry, he has a really common name as well, I think that’s pretty rich slagging my name off when you have such a basic name, I just don’t know what to do because he seems quite popular & has been there for years. Or perhaps I’m just being sensitive? I’m not a very confident person & can take things to heart.

Regardless if you’re being “sensitive”, if it bothers you it needs to stop.
If he says something negative again. Be polite but just say something like “why would you try and make me feel uncomfortable?”

 

[AladdinSane]

I think you need to give yourself a break, and think how good it is that you are a reflective person.

People who go through life never considering the effects on others of their decisions, good or bad, make terrible errors of judgment going forward.

I think it’s good that you reflect so much

You are very kind thank you.

I've noticed as the years have passed, I've become more and more like this. And it has just started to stress me out a lot.

I will try to be kinder to myself.

 

[MyLittlePony25]

@xx3221 - no we are only open in the evenings. We want to extend our opening hours and then of course, I can change my hours but that’s not in the pipeline at the moment.

@Thank(space)you I’m the only one who lives in the area, everyone else travels in. They do give me a lift but I can’t always rely on them. My manager does not give me a lift and there are often times where it’s just the two of us working and I walk home (which is fine as it’s close to my house at the moment). I know it’s not the firm’s responsibility to get me there or back but I’ve been working there for 3 years and applied for the job as it’s close by (and in the field I want to work in), i would never have taken the role if it was where we are probably moving to because I can’t get home safely.

 

[MacPishFlaps]

Thanks for all your replies. Not feeling any better I know it's only been a few days but I hate being unwell and this feeling is horrible, it's like I'm not in control of my movements and my brain feels really foggy. I think I will take tomorrow off work and just rest until I need to go back Monday.

I guess this is what I get for being so cocky on the ship. The weather was horrendous when we first set sail, most people were laid up in their cabins with sea sickness but I felt fine! Spent my day eating and drinking

 

[Pesky Tarian]

No no footrest. Yes they have training vids about health and safety but apparently the chairs haven’t been changed for years. I don’t really want to be the one to ask incase it seems as though I’m causing issues

I understand what you're saying but your health is so important. I once had a desk under an air con vent and went home everyday with my shoulders up around my ears because I'd been sat shivering.

Do they have a suggestion box so you can ask anonymously?. Failing that maybe get one of those lumbar supports you can attach to your chair? (Although it's a poor state of affairs having to spend your own money). It's so rubbish of your employer, but please act x

 

[Captainmouse]

I hadn't thought of that, thank you!.

Lemon juice? Lemon juice salt mix?

 

[Snippysnips]

Thanks, I'll try an see if there's an antique jewellers around me, if I knew what type it was I'd be able to look it up but it's really rough cut because they didn't have the tools back then to cut them so I've no idea what it is

Am not sure if I'd go through with selling it but it would be nice to at least know what it was an its worth

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Is there a way someone can view my WhatsApp status without it showing that they have? I don’t want to ask anyone I know incase they think I’m hiding things from some people. It’s just someone has responded to my WhatsApp status but it doesn’t show me that they’ve viewed it and I thought that’s odd

Yes, there is. They’ve turned off read receipts

 

[Snippysnips]

We have reflective film on our front windows after a few issues with people peering in from the flats opposite. Our house is south facing and the front rooms can get pretty toasty in summer so it does have the secondary benefit of helping reduce that. You can’t see in our windows at all during the day but at night if the lights are on people can still see in so we have blinds. It sounds like you’ve come to the same conclusion but I don’t think reflective film would help much with the situation you describe unfortunately.

Thanks, yeah it seems like during the day it's perfectly fine an will reflect like a mirror but nighttime they are practically useless, an the problem is night, honestly am still considering just placing an actual mirror on the window, maybe after a while they will get pissed off an stop

 

[bozlem3080]

What are you storing? This might be a good time to review what you're holding on to and whether you need it. Is it worth the stress and the financial burden? £75/month feels a lot for 8 boxes, would you consider condensing it down to a few boxes that you could keep at home?

It’s mainly clothes I have, bits of kitchenware, I have limited space as live in a shared house, the room is tiny, I did have about 12 boxes originally my friend suggested vacuum bags for the remainder of my stuff & be even more ruthless in throwing things out then try & shove it in a few boxes & stack in my wardrobe but I’m just so limited on space.

The company have got back to me & admitted they did send emails out about the price increase but then turned it back on me saying it most probably went into my spam inbox! This was after I threatened them with trading standards, I’ve been checking my spam inbox every few days since the end of Feb as started a new job & they sent over my right to work entitlement so the email was never sent in the first place from the storage company!

 

[petitspois]

More an opinion I’m asking for rather than advice..

Been off work all week but back in today as my annual leave allowance doesn’t stretch too far a senior member of staff saw me at my desk and remarked that he had just sent me an email (it was before my official log in time, hadn’t turned my out of office off) and I explained I’d been off but was in today, and back on leave next week. “You might as well keep the out of office on then. No point turning it off”

I took no offence but apparently another colleague pulled him up on this and said there’s no need to talk to me like that. They described it as not being very nice to me.

Am I thick and not realising someone’s being an arse to me, or is the other person being too sensitive? How would you have taken this?

I wouldn’t have taken that as anything negative inferred in the slightest. The other person is being over the top.

 

[EffingDust]

Very boring grown up question. I have a wall in my garden that I painted white last year. After the bad weather it’s now turned green with algae and grime. I can’t jet wash it cos it’ll knock the paint off (I tried) - what can I use to clean it off?

I turned the power right down on my jetwash and just stood a bit further back from the wall, so it was less pressure in a small area, and it seemed to work ok

 

[Snippysnips]

Thanks, I did look at the Yaris but wasn't for me, I was more pulled towards the aygo, but have now decided if it's an aygo then it's the X, once I sat in it something about it just put me off but I was more comfortable in the X so am going see about a test drive for it, but I am happy with how good a reputation the Toyota is getting

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

I’ve worked at the same place for 20 years and recently left because the commute became too much. I’m in the privileged position that I don’t need a job immediately but I would like one.
I’m very confident in my capabilities and know I’m good at what I do.
However I’ve not interviewed in over 20 years and trying to dust my CV off has also shown me how out of the loop I am with these things.
I know I interview very badly, this was told to me years ago but I find it hard to sell myself.
Any tips or knowledge people would like to share?

Also where is best to look for contract work? I would prefer short to medium term contracts to being fulltime employed again.

Any advise at all would be greatfully received

 

[HelloStereo]

I’ve done a lot of self reflection and know my annoying habits etc So I don’t lack self awareness but I do acknowledge there are parts of my personality that is annoying and cannot be changed.

If you are unsure if you lack self awareness chat with a friend you trust to be honest. If it’s true and you’d like to work on it then do but also if that is part of “you” then maybe it can’t be changed and that is ok too. We are all different and that’s what makes the world interesting.

I for example have no patience with people. I know this and acknowledge it. So when people get upset with me for my lack of patience I apologise but am honest that it’s a struggle for me. I’ve tried to change it but I guess it’s an integral part of what makes me, me

Thank you, I might ask a friend I know will be honest but still kind. I think I've had friends in the past bring up issues but never around a lack of self awareness, and it's always been where they've said "I was upset by this" and I say "sorry" and try not to do it again and then we move on.

It's just - is it a self fulfilling prophecy. I don't think I lack self awareness and this is the first time I've heard it from someone, so I'm likely to dismiss it - but is this an example of me lacking self awareness?

I hate it when people say "you're like this" or "you're like that" without giving examples. It just feels like criticism for the sake of it, without really trying to fix any issues.