The advice thread for random problems #6

[HeyBabes]

At what point do you issue someone an ultimatum? MrBabes and I have been together 7 years, he knows I want to get married, every time I bring the subject up he usually just brushes it off. At what point do you walk when they won’t commit?

 

[Phil Anne Throw Pee]

Not sure where to put this and it's very boring sorry. I have quite a few people on Christmas Day and I'm stressing as I don't have a large oven. I'm cooking chicken and beef and want to cook one chicken the night before and somehow reheat on the day just so I'm sure I have plenty to go around. How would you reheat the chicken to keep it moist (hate that word)? I was thinking of carving and plating the meat then microwaving it while covered and hoping for the best. Any advice very welcome and sorry for the dull question.

Always stick a lemon up a chicken's arse to keep it moist.

 

[littlepup]

I’ve just restarted the gym after 12 months (had a baby and didn’t have time to go). I’m at the weight I want to stay at but I have no muscle tone at all! There’s a poster for a free PT session. I’m tempted to do it so they can show me what weights to do and keep it with it myself as I’ve absolutely no idea wtf I’m doing unless it’s cardio. My question is, how do I do it but not get caught into signing up whilst staying polite?!

I would be inclined to do one paid for session and say you need help with targeting certain areas as your training goals have changed, you’d like a plan you can take forward yourself. That way they’re not pressuring you to take up a course and can give you a concise plan and you’re not feeling like you’re there under false pretences. Kind of a saving in the long run.

 

[Mojojojo67]

Anyone know who you can go to with disputing a banks credit card

So folks have a credit card, balance let's just say was for example £3,700, this was paid off fully last month so they cleared the entire amount, it was paid within enough time as well, however this month they have had interest added to it

Now with my own credit card if I pay off in full I get 0 interest, so we aren't sure why they are able to add interest to my folks bill, her balance was due 3rd may an balance was paid in full 22nd April, more than enough time before it was due

There was nothing stating there was interest to pay on her bill, so basically she paid what the balance was showing

Honestly seems like such a scam to me, like how are you supposed to know what your full balance is to pay if they refuse to add whatever interest onto it in the first place

It wasn't for something like travel money was it - that's classed as a cash advance and interest would be calculated daily. I made this mistake last year but following a phone call to the bank they waived it.

 

[Rodneytrotter]

My partner (man) is friends with a couple (m&f), tonight he's going out with the woman of the couple to meet a couple of other people we know in passing. The man of the couple is doing something else and I'm at home with the kids.
They'll share a taxi to and from the pub.
I don't know why but it feels a bit weird. I think because we don't go out alot ourselves due to lack of childcare and we're also not in a great place generally at the moment.

Is that just me or would it make anyone else feel odd?? I told him it felt uncomfortable he said it was me.

I wouldn't like it, unless it would be fine for me to do the same. Why can't he stay with the kids and you go out with a man?

 

[Former_Antelopee]

Has anyone bought stuff off Amazon an its had a voucher option displayed on it? I need new units an they have a 30% voucher option I can click on for all of them, there's nothing else that I can see that explains why am getting it, just wondering if there's a catch to them that am not seeing, it's bringing my total from £249 to £99, which seems like a great buy but I also don't want to be unknowingly signing up to something I can't get out of, I've never seen these voucher options before on anything previous I've bought

Yeah I've used them before no issues

 

[Sunflower91]

So we’ve received a letter threatening that we have 10 days to buy a tv license or else they’ll send someone round/court summons etc.
How real is this threat? I’m a nervous person so I’m so close to just buying the license for the year to avoid it

we don’t even watch live tv in our house, we just use the streaming apps, I go to my friends to watch bake off etc
They sent a letter once ages ago saying they could tell someone was using iplayer at our address but the only thing I can think of was we logged in on the tv once to check what was on the app and then didn’t watch anything.

I’ve been getting these for the best part of a year. I initially did my bit and registered as not needing a lisence and then they started asking me to register again- I couldn’t be bothered so get a letter every month, sometimes more. They do get increasingly more threatening- I had one saying “will you be in on X date” and saying they’re coming round. Unless they have a warrant they have no right on your property, you don’t have to let them in. I’ve still never had a visit.

 

[Chocolategoggler]

I need some info......
Just watching a vlogger talking about how for a woman the most blissful feeling at the end of the day is taking your bra and makeup off.
She was wondering what the male equivalent was, so now I want to know!!!!
I can't ring any blokes I know up as I know they'll start getting "ideas."
So I'm throwing myself on the mercy of Tattle to assuage my curiosity.
What is the equivalent for men. That feeling you just can't beat......????

 

[cowtastrophe]

Yeah, let Mr C go by himself. If he’s willing to take the chance of friend stabbing him in the back again then at least you don’t have to watch the betrayel

I just don’t think the guy will bring anything positive to Mr C’s life but he’s feeling so down at the moment that I think he just wants someone to talk to (apart from me and the dogs and his mother obviously).

 

[didisaythatoutloudoops]

Customer service is really good and they often can sort these things out.

I would recommend to anyone, call or online chat customer service with Amazon. Being physically disabled, I simply cannot get to the door quickly to answer it. There's a note on my account saying this but the drivers just don't care or read it.

I've had more than a few parcels stolen due to a lack of proper delivery information and being on a main road, and each and every time Amazon have replaced without issue. I think their business model is 'deliver 1000 and replace 10' rather than 'deliver 100 and replace 1'. After all, the more orders they fulfill, the more money they make - a few losses here and there isn't a problem for them.

 

[Former_Antelopee]

My work have been talking about possibly changing our hours since February. They just will not give us a yes or no answer. It means we cannot book holidays for next year past the first few months. The change will also mean a pay drop so I'm really stressed about that. I haven't been pushing for an answer really but now I have people waiting on booking things for next year which I cannot do, usually we can do a year in advance booking and other people in other areas of my work can still do this. It's just really annoying me and stressing me out as its been going on for months

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

ETA - Am not sure if this is the right place for this so please let me know if it'd be better somewhere else. Thanks

This is a largely hypothetical question, but it’s been on my mind recently.

I’ve just found out that someone I used to work with has been told they only have about six months to live. We were never especially close, and since I left that company years ago, we haven’t spoken or interacted much—maybe the odd “like” on Instagram, but that’s about it. When we did work together, though, we got on well enough and would share a laugh whenever our roles overlapped.

They’re not the first former colleague I’ve heard of being diagnosed with a terminal illness, and in those cases I didn’t reach out either. It wasn’t out of malice or avoidance, more that we’d drifted out of each other’s lives, and I felt strange about getting in touch only because I’d heard they were dying.

I’m not beating myself up over it, but it has got me thinking. I’d be curious to hear what other people would do in this situation. Would you reach out, or just leave it be?

I would reach out. But it also depends on what outcome you’re after?
Would you like to meet up? Or just say your sorry to hear about what’s going on?
If you are haply with either outcome then I would just send them a friendly DM saying you’re sorry to hear about what’s going on and if they would like a day out with you then the offer is there

 

[bozlem3080]

Will UC not even help towards your rent? If you have done an online calculator, these are not always correct, so do apply if you have only gone by this. In the nicest possible way - I don't think you can be earning too much to get it if working 16 hours a week, but there is a minimum threshold that you do have to earn - if you are earning under this amount you will be called into appointments to help you find a different job / more hours. This could actually be really helpful??

I applied to UC for help with my rent it’s £520 a month, but they said I earn ‘too much’ to have help, I get £785 a month, I went from one job at 20hrs to a job I thought was going to be 24hrs plus, 9 weeks into the job I’m working 16hrs every week, I’ve cut back on my gym, Spotify which was my little treat, I budget £10 a week for food so have a little left over in case of an emergency like a prescription I need to pay for that kind of thing, I’ve applied for jobs this morning, just hope I can find something with better hours or a job alongside the one I have now!

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

I just don’t think the guy will bring anything positive to Mr C’s life but he’s feeling so down at the moment that I think he just wants someone to talk to (apart from me and the dogs and his mother obviously).

I feel for him. Some people forgive and forgive and forgive.
I’m a forgiver but I never forget.
But if he needs an ear and it helps him then let Mr C make the mistake. At least your a good Mrs C because you are not discouraging it as you realise he needs it at the moment.

 

[didisaythatoutloudoops]

Does anyone struggle with family dynamics/disagreements that never get discussed and can help me settle my mind? (If that even makes any sense lol)

I have two family members who I was close with, they have done numerous things to upset me that have been ignored until a few months ago when I told them straight they then ghosted me, they then ignored a few significant dates events for me so I decided enough is enough I'm done. One of them has been silent with no contact but the other messages me about random scenarios ignoring the events of the last few months, I have now muted her so at least I don't see the messages. I have also ignored the past few messages since I have put a line under it. She has since rang me which I have ignored but she isn't taking a hint!

I think honestly is always the best policy here. It simply sounds like she doesn't understand how hurt you are - not necessarily in a careless way, because it sounds like she's trying to be kind and extend an olive branch to you. I think you're just going to have to explain you don't want any contact. It is a huge decision to make and she might not understand that's what you'd like out of this situation. That's a boundary you'll have to proactively establish so that she knows where she stands.

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Anyone know who you can go to with disputing a banks credit card

So folks have a credit card, balance let's just say was for example £3,700, this was paid off fully last month so they cleared the entire amount, it was paid within enough time as well, however this month they have had interest added to it

Now with my own credit card if I pay off in full I get 0 interest, so we aren't sure why they are able to add interest to my folks bill, her balance was due 3rd may an balance was paid in full 22nd April, more than enough time before it was due

There was nothing stating there was interest to pay on her bill, so basically she paid what the balance was showing

Honestly seems like such a scam to me, like how are you supposed to know what your full balance is to pay if they refuse to add whatever interest onto it in the first place

You go direct to the credit card but I would question whether the dates she has is correct. Or it's purely a fault

 

[NoHintOfDrama]

Sorry


But the police are needed now. Isn't 16 classed as a minor still. 16 is the legal age of consent, but not between a minor and an adult

No, it’s not illegal. Police won’t be interested unless there’s evidence they were sleeping together before she was 16. Extraordinarily hard to prove.

 

[Snippysnips]

Amazon around my way straight up ditch stuff at my door an go, when I get to the door it's to see the van driving away, they have no interest anymore, it used to be that they had to take a picture of the door half open before they could leave but I see it was short lived, I think now if they see the ring doorbell they are like ehh well there's your evidence I was at your door, not sure if they realise I could easily delete that footage an claim I never got it

 

[littlepup]

Since I’ve given out my personal number to work, I didn’t really want to but didn’t want to be the only person to refuse for the work WhatsApp group with about 30 people, I’ve been getting casino texts, random gambling ones and some from fake email addresses. I’ve never had this before and I’m not sure why it is or what’s causing it?

It could be coincidental. Every so often I’ll get a bout of them then they die off.
I assume my number has just appeared on a new ‘data for sale’ list. I have to put it in for stuff like deliveries or registering for websites so it’s out there so to speak despite trying to always tick the ‘no 3rd parties’ box.

 

[Codiaeum]

Clutches are pricey to have done , it's mostly labour costs cos its a big job... it also needs new tyres , then it's mot will be due , and it's service. I think I've lost my confidence with it a bit .

Sounds like sunk cost fallacy - you already invested into this specific car and therefore are more likely to put in further money, even if it’s ultimately costing you more (or not less) than if you decided to sell it. How old is your current car? You wrote you’d look at 10-12 year old cars, and there can be a world of a difference between them and yours, even if a similar age….
I know what you mean with loss of confidence. I had that with my first car at some point and decided I will never do that again. If I’m not trusting the vehicle and that what should be fixed is properly fixed and has no other surprises, I’m selling it.