The advice thread for random problems #6

[Snippysnips]

I am a bit scatty, i try not to be but people always come back to me when I've been unclear or I've forgotten to address part of their query and I find it helpful. It benefits both of you at the end of the day, you'll fo your job better for understanding and they'll know that you know what you're doing. I'd definitely mention it but appreciate it can be scary

I can be the same, am dyslexic so know that sometimes things can come out a mess to others, everyone's brains understands things totally differently, I used to work in a betting shop an the way I calculated bets no one else could understand how I done it but to me it made perfect sense, so it definitely does help just talking it out with people an figuring out a way both can understand

 

[Shoequeen91]

No no footrest. Yes they have training vids about health and safety but apparently the chairs haven’t been changed for years. I don’t really want to be the one to ask incase it seems as though I’m causing issues

I wouldn’t care about that, you must think about yourself and it doesn’t need to negative in how it’s fed back. Just keep it to facts that your chair is causing issues with your back and no supporting you, could something be looked into?Maybe raise via a email so you have evidence that you’ve raised. This sort of thing should really be checked on this yearly via 1-2-1s. If you don’t feel comfortable to raise with your line manager directly, do you have a staff support service? Something slightly different to occupational health. Maybe you could raise it with them for advice?

 

[boomska]

That is categorically untrue. Anybody who increases a price needs to give you a warning. I’d tell them you will be contacting trading standards

Yeah it is. By law, and your direct debit gaurantee, they've got to give you at least 10 workings day of any payment changes notifications.

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Last time it was shut, it was dead as a dodo but I think it's because everyone just stayed away. No idea how much extra time you will need. The traffic around this area is currently awful anyway, could you come down before it shuts and stay?

Thanks for the response. That’s good to hear. Somebody else actually mentioned about east and south and I realised I come from the complete opposite direction

 

[chickhicks86]

Spilled CC red corrector on a jumper this morning. I love the jumper, just bought it and only wore it once plus it was £45 I sprayed some pink stuff on it and then put it in a wash. It's still there, looks like a bird did a poop all down the front.
Any advice on cleaning it? I'm waiting for it to dry and will then try some micellar water and see if it goes

Don't wait for it to dry!

Best stain remover I've found for anything is the Elbow Grease bar, it's only a quid!

 

[boomska]

A What If ghost: as in what if we see ghosts all the time but don’t realise because they look like everyone else walking along the street. Normal clothes, jacket, bag (if you have an old Woolies, Wilkos or Debenhams plastic carrier at the bottom of your bag of bags and some out of date groceries, like the tinned peaches that are definitely at the back of my cupboard.that’s perfect, but really, you could’ve died yesterday). I’m v low effort though.

ETA missed the bit where you said you like the blood and makeup so that’s a rubbish idea. Sorry.

nooo I love that idea tbh!! And I could do blood as I’ve been a victim and was murdered

 

[RandomFrog]

Thanks both!

I find it so difficult knowing which way to go for the best, I hate upsetting or disappointing people but had this change after a few big things happened in my life, I suppose it'll take time to get used to a different way of thinking now

 

[Thank(space)you]

This is a nice problem to have but I need help!

I currently have 2 job offers on the table and I don’t have the first clue how to decide. Salary wise there is £1000 in it so that’s not a dealbreaker. Commute time broadly similar. Both roles came us as a result of internal restructures so would be very similar in terms of being able to make the role my own and no existing hierarchy. For context I do something which is transferable across multiple industries (eg admin, finance, comms etc). Need to leave current role asap as redundancies are afoot and I’ve been there less than 2 years so payoff would be bugger all.

Job 1 - an industry I LOVE the idea of working in. Got a nice feel from the team at interview and would definitely work well with my immediate manager. Probably less varied work but then in turn “easier.” Less forthcoming on how flexible the role would be in terms of wfh / flexing when required. More of a “serious” role and company. It’s worth noting I interviewed for this first and really wanted it until job 2 threw a spanner in the works!

Job 2 - not an industry I’ve ever worked in before but the role is very close to what I currently do. More open about flexibility. Interview was much more informal and I very much got a sense of the people I’d work with and think we’d get on really well. More creative which I’m less used to.

I’d feel bad about turning down either and as a lot of the key factors (travel, pay) are so similar there’s no obvious choice for me….

From what you've written, I get the feel job one would be the one for you. Congrats on the offers

 

[Shoequeen91]

Thanks everyone. It actually is really as simple as the three of you have put it and I’m just way too in my own head about it

 

[hytuhh]

The person I'm dating has recently been diagnosed with cancer . They don't want to talk about it or think about it. I'm fairly knowledgeable in this field from medical aspect, but emotionally in terms of support I don't know what to do. Do I just follow their wishes and not discuss it? I've said I'm there for them whatever they need, be it advice, emotional support, sympathy etc but is there anything else I should be doing?

I would say it's important to respect their wishes as it's a really big thing and we can't judge how anyone deals with something like that. However my only point would be if they don't want to talk or think about it, does that mean they aren't dealing with it at all? Because they may need medical treatment in which case I'd want to ensure they are attending appointments etc. But it's difficult without overstepping boundaries

 

[petitspois]

Thoughts about selling a house? I have the problem that I have 5 different types of flooring all the way through the house which makes for a very chaotic feel in the house. One of them is a more expensive vinyl which I just had done on the stairs. The other is hardwood, left over from the previous owner in bedroom 1, and the third is cheap laminate in bedroom 2 and 3 that I can’t buy any longer. Should I redo the floors with the vinyl to get a consistent look? Or is that money thrown out the window? I'm guessing the buyers will probably tear out the whole thing anyway but if it gives me 5k more on the sales price it might be worth it.

I asked the agent that came to value my house and he said just get it as squeaky clean as possible and de clutter.

 

[Mamacita]

Usually firms offer ‘something' when they relocate.

Agreed, if someone's work contract is with a specific office base then relocating which is not the employees fault or decision should come with covering the cost of extra travel

 

[MacPishFlaps]

Land sickness! I was on a cruise recently (disembarked on Sat) and I have this awful feeling of still being at sea I am dizzy and feel like I can't walk in a straight line. Was due back at work today but logged on and couldn't focus on the screen, felt as if I was going to fall off my seat! I have had to take today off sick after being off for 2 weeks.

Does anyone have any experience of this or any tips to get rid of it?

 

[Lalla]

Have you got under bed storage?
I’d ask myself if the value of the stuff is worth the price you’re paying to store it and are you going to want or need it by the time you have more space?

Exactly this - one of my friends had to move from her own flat to a room in a shared house. She put a load of boxes in storage for a couple of years but when she moved in with her partner and cleared her storage unit she only kept a few things, the rest went to charity or the tip.

However you may already have been more ruthless than my friend (we kept telling her not to store everything but she wouldn't listen!) in which case if you don't already have one could you get an ottoman bed for your room? The ones that lift up so there's a huge storage area underneath. Although it's another expense, it might mean you wouldn't need the storage any more. I have seen people selling them (or even giving them away) on FB marketplace, maybe worth a try.

 

[Jas28]

Do you have a foot rest? I find that really helps. I think the onus really is on your employer to provide adequate equipment . Wheat bags are great for shoulder pain and just try to have a regular stroll, even if it's just to the break room etc.

No no footrest. Yes they have training vids about health and safety but apparently the chairs haven’t been changed for years. I don’t really want to be the one to ask incase it seems as though I’m causing issues

 

[yogiessexdubs]

Amazon around my way straight up ditch stuff at my door an go, when I get to the door it's to see the van driving away, they have no interest anymore, it used to be that they had to take a picture of the door half open before they could leave but I see it was short lived, I think now if they see the ring doorbell they are like ehh well there's your evidence I was at your door, not sure if they realise I could easily delete that footage an claim I never got it

Me too, it actually makes me anxious, they leave my stuff in the most random places. I’ve complained & complained to Amazon but nothing has been done.

 

[FlipFlop0706]

I could have written this myself. For the last 4 years I’ve had chronic hives that’s gotten worse not better. I was sent to a dermatologist on the nhs that did nothing basically. Tried going back to my GP and my options seem to be take a boat load of antihistamines and suffer the side effects or just suffer. It got so bad I thought I was having anaphylaxis several times so in the end went private. I was seen in 2 weeks, had allergy testing done and got an actual diagnosis and proper care plan. There’s a jab that’s not available on the NHS that I’m planning on having if my current regime doesn’t work and if I can afford it. My allergist is seeing multiple people a day with the same condition I have- apparently it’s absolutely rife, hundreds if not thousands more trying to get through the nhs to get it treated but it’s not something they even teach in medical school apparently.

I’ve just called in in person as I was passing my doctors and managed to get seen. She’s taken me off the Fexofenadine and put me on stuff I can just get in home bargains! I give up. I think I’m going to try and get a proper allergy test done, my current ones were diagnosed by blood test and to be honest I’m not sure I’m actually allergic to what they say I’m allergic to!

 

[Jas28]

I have a colleague who’s giving me really rude body language at the moment and I can’t pinpoint what her problem really is. I’m the only poc in my team so I’m inclined to think she’s doing so because of that. Eye rolling back to me not including when speaking in the group, speaking over me keeping her back firmly towards me. I’ve tried being extra friendly to her thinking she’s just unhappy or something but no nothing and I don’t want to people please as that’s unhealthy for mental health, people pleasing towards someone who dislikes you isn’t great. She’s only like this towards me. She’s nicer to others in my team who don’t even like her so she must have some one sided stronh feelings towards me. I don’t know how people justify treating someone that way. What should I do, just ignore her? But then I feel it would be a hostile environment and I would just be behaving as she is which is not me at all. Others must have noticed but they don’t say anything ?! If i noticed someone being like that towards an individual I would distance myself as they’re showing how nasty of a person they are. Friend said way nit everyone has a good heart most people don’t give a crap ! Also she looks visibly angry when she sees me which has rattled me, she goes bright red and breathing heavily. I’m so confused I haven’t done anything to offend her and I do notice everything

 

[DWASN]

I just had my nails done for the very first time (finally stopped biting them long enough) an it was gel she used, am into the second week an mines are still perfect, no chips or any sign of lifting so it sounds like maybe she's not set them right? £40 is also a lot for them not to last, places around me are £20, personally I'd be cancelling an either finding another or going back to the original lady, is the original too far out to go too?

The original has moved to the Netherlands so way too far .

New lady has been doing it for a few years, I suspect she’s not done the gel thick enough. I’ve never had this before so I know it’s not the gel product. Sadly (in the south) a plain biab colour set is £35-50. Add on nail art for an extra £5-15.

 

[daledancer]

Land sickness! I was on a cruise recently (disembarked on Sat) and I have this awful feeling of still being at sea I am dizzy and feel like I can't walk in a straight line. Was due back at work today but logged on and couldn't focus on the screen, felt as if I was going to fall off my seat! I have had to take today off sick after being off for 2 weeks.

Does anyone have any experience of this or any tips to get rid of it?

I have no tips I am afraid but I had it recently.
Only went on a day boat trip - 12 hours ish.
That night in bed I felt like I was still it sea. It did subside and pardon the pun it did lessened and came in waves and eventually passed after a week or so xx