The advice thread for random problems #5

[havee]

Are you a uni student or college / 6th form? Presuming uni if you're counted as non-dependant? I don't understand what you're saying about their rent being paid depending on their excess income - does he mean that the UC is reduced the more they earn (which is right) or that not all of the rent is covered by UC because you're a non-dependant living at home? I'm really struggling to work out what you're asking!
There are Facebook groups and Reddit subs that have some really knowledgeable people on for matters like this.

im a uni student, so we have a fixed rent weekly that the housing benefits pay the rent. so the council has an amount they calculate that we as family need to live off, then they identify the excess income and some percentage of the excess income my dad has to pay towards the rent instead o the benefit team. so yes the benefit is reduced by the amount of excess income, however as im a student the benefit is also paying for my portion of rent. but my dad is saying that he doessnt have to pay anything toards the rent and the rent letters we get is my fault, as i should pay them

 

[Squittel]

Anyone here have any experience of pregnant cats? I can post photos. I think this cat that I’m looking after while its owners are on holiday is pregnant. I’m not sure how to check for certain. I have a vet appointment for her on Thursday and I’m hoping they can confirm. Honestly, I don’t know why the owners haven’t had her spayed. My two are both spayed so I’ve never had this problem.

 

[tomato_paste]

Can I order something in duty free online at Manchester airport and collect it when I land? I can’t find the answer online and I don’t want to take it with me on holiday!

Call them or send them an email?

 

[gabbysolis]

Is there a name for this style/shape of dress or do I just have to scroll through all sleeveless dresses online

 

[Stressed]

Can anyone recommend a good app that helps with dealing with anxiety etc, like Headspace, which is free?

 

[Captainmouse]

Not a problem as such, but how do you go about finding out when a court trial is? I’m interested in seeing the outcome of a particular trial but it’s not something that’s been reported in the media and I have no idea when it might be held.

Do you know where?

 

[EnglishRoseIrishRover]

I’d really appreciate some help with something that’s maybe a bit silly but I want to be prepared.

Background info- I work for a massive international company who shall remain nameless. In my time, I’ve been poached to work in different roles and in different locations.

Years ago, I worked in city A and would occasionally need to work with “Morag” from a different but closely connected department and let’s say, there was a clash of working styles between us. Some time after that, I changed roles and moved to city B but would return to city A twice a year to help them out at an event in which I was particularly skilled at, which Morag would never have been able to run as the rest of the team in the event’s execution. During one of these events, we had a blazing row and thankfully Covid intervened and I haven’t seen her again.

I am now in city C and Morag has moved to a new role and will be visiting my site next week. I will be professional and polite but I know she will be really nosy about why I left my job and city B for my current role in city C. How can I professionally and politely shut down those questions?

 

[Bloody orange Hell]

If you like gardening, how about making a mosaic path or plaque for your garden? You could collect nice pebbles or broken china etc and use it.

 

[boomska]

Are there any particular areas you want to focus on?

All of it?

 

[Snippysnips]

Do you need them to be editable or just a hand out? Sorry I just realised the number of slides you are talking about wouldn’t work for saving as an image/pdf would it?

I don't think so, tbh am not really tech savvy with PP or canva, both are still quite new to me, my boss has slides on PP for training but has gotten bored of the design an asked to use canva to make them fancier

I can design totally fine on canva an it looks fine, but I need to be able to print them as 3 slides per page, so my only option to print like that is from PP, I just can't work out the sizing I need

 

[avabella]

I'm really struggling with my hormones and looking for advice on managing my emotions on the week leading up to when my period starts.

I feel like I spend 3 weeks of the month fine and then for a whole week I am fragile like a bomb and have complete meltdowns. I have gone to zero hours contract so that I can avoid working that week. When I used to work that week I would storm out of meetings, go to the toilet and cry, there is more but it's just so embarrassing!

Once I'm out of that week I always think that I wish I'd have just controlled myself! I've been to the drs before, read up on pmdd etc.

If anyone has any tips on dealing with emotions that week I would be really grateful I'm up for trying anything! I'm 42 and the dr said I'm too old for the pill (not that it ever made a difference in the past anyway).

Have you looked at Oestrogen Detox pills from WillPowders’s? I’m in a Facebook group and lots of woman swear by them.

 

[littlepup]

Does anyone know how to find this on Next’s website from the tag in store? I’ve tried all sorts of combinations of the numbers but can find anything.
It’s a 2pk unwired black and white bras.

 

[Mamacita]

Soooo I'm getting to a point where I'm feeling super bad about my low performance at my job.

First issue - I'm super bored with the topic matter, I've been doing the same stuff for 3.5 years now and it's just not a challenge any more.

Secondly, I'm suffering from depression and it just makes me feel like there's simply no point in doing anything about it. I'm already on anti- depressants and in therapy but (and that's a general life problem) I don't feel like anything ever changes - that NIN song "Every Day Is Exactly The Same" expresses it perfectly. I feel like I've been in a holding pattern since the start of the pandemic, and nothing every changes and I hate it. But nothing feels right to change either. I have been thinking about moving (abroad), switching jobs, getting rid of my whole old life basically, but I'm unconvinced it will do anything because at the end of the day I'm taking myself with me.

Loneliness is a big topic as I WFH and don't have any work colleagues close by where I could meet one or two days a week. I now have a roommate but we don't talk much - we get along but it's not like we're friends. I can feel the difference when I meet friends, but then I feel bad because it means leaving work early(ish) to meet them because I don't have set hours so I tend to start late and my depression is giving me sleep issues and my anti- depressants make me tired AF so I have a hard time getting up in the morning - so it's a thing of feeling bad if I do meet friends (bc of not working enough) and feeling bad if I don't (bc then I feel very lonely). And of course they have their own life and their partners and I'm just painfully single.

I just don't get consistent performance from myself any more and it's so tiring, neither at work nor in my private life. I have some days where I feel like the old me, where I'm interested in my work and the code just flows, but there's more days where I just stare at the screen and nothing makes sense any more. I hate it, I really do. Even when I had nothing going for me, I could still rely on my brain - seems like that is also leaving me in the lurch. Some days it feels like I should really just quit life entirely and I know that that is not normal at all. It's just tiring to be fighting against myself all the time (and I mean literally my whole life, I don't remember a time when I wasn't depressed to some degree).

Sorry not much of advice but it sounds like you put a lot of pressure on yourself when it comes to work and focusing your whole life around it. What about any hobbies etc outside of work? Feeling bad cause you're meeting friends and 'not working enough ' is not good. There's really a lot more to life than work, sounds like you're burnt out and should try to look outside of work to find some fulfilment. Trying to force yourself to perform is just not going to do it.

 

[boomska]

Thanks everyone! Been given some very good recommodations xx

 

[Donald23]

I’ve used a lot of box dyes and in my experience yes that will be fine, however, the instructions generally say don’t try and do a dramatic colour change and only aim for two shades lighter/darker. How blonde is it and how much darker do you want to go?

Alternatively, is it worth going back to the salon and telling them you’re not happy so they can fix it?

The front has gone very blonde almost bleach blonde. The back and sides is more of a darker blonde. I’ve bought a mocha brown, similar to my natural shade and I’m going to patch test it

 

[havee]

hi,

so took my child to the dentist who was angry but caring i guess fella, annoyed that i didn't bring my child to a dentist earlier as he is 12 now. anyway he mentioned my child having a decay tooth and a baby tooth. he said my child will need an extraction, now because he was angry at the start i just wanted to leave as i have social anxiety so didn't ask which tooth he is extracting the decay or baby tooth. now that i'm researching about it it says extracting child tooth should be avoided unless necessary as it can cause speech problems etc. the appointment is on Monday what do i do.

 

[Bobbleowl90]

What do people buy their kids teachers at the end of term? I’m stuck for ideas and don’t want to buy tat that isn’t wanted!

 

[havee]

guys, my washing of 4 years is acting up, the cycle starts for a few mins then machine fully shuts down.

 

[Snippysnips]

I've got a 1.2l 2009 vauxhall astra and it does struggle with hills. I know not the exact car you're asking about so ignore me if not helpful. It's reliable though, got it as a cheap runaround and it's coming up to it's 3rd year with me.

Thanks, honestly I was kindi drawn to the Adam or Aygo but really I can be open to other cars, had looked at the little smart cars too but every time I see them I feel like they are ready to tip over at every round a bout

Am just really looking for small, but not a mini, never really got round to liking the minis

 

[_basic_]

Hello all I’m hoping to get some advice for anyone who’s been through similar please? Asking for a friend. They have just moved house (rented). Both houses are managed by a letting agent and the house they have just moved from they only stayed 11months. There was a verbal agreement in place between the agent, the landlord and tenant that they could do this early as long as they stayed till another tenant was found. All parties knew they would have stayed the full year if needed. Now they have moved the next tenant has fallen through and the landlord is being evasive about the return of the deposit. They are in fact insinuating that because the tenancy was ended before the contract, and the next tenant has fallen through,
The landlord is out of pocket, in reply to a message asking when the deposit was returned. They’ve been told off the agent that they cannot use the deposit as the last months rent especially as the agent was involved and aware of the verbal agreement. The deposit is with the deposit protection scheme, does anyone have any experience with this company regarding disputes?