The advice thread for random problems #5

[Bloody orange Hell]

I’ve realised that my driving licence has expired and as I forgot to change the address I haven’t had any reminders. Does anyone know exactly how much trouble I’m going to be in for this? Is it a renew and update my address now or a pay £1k and resit test situation? It’s been 6 months

I need to know this too.
I have applied for my renewal. I will let you know if no one answers first!

 

[becca7721]

How do you deal with someone who's just being a pain in the arse for no reason?

Am doing a qualification at work, really wasn't interested in it but my boss wants me to go for it, it's split into modules an when I started I had a guy assigned to me, he was basically there to just make sure I included what I needed too, he didn't care what way I done it an was fine with me using spell check as am dyslexic which means some words were being spelled the American way, he also said it was fine to put scenarios down in what I'd do in certain circumstances because he knew when I started it was such a tiny business an we don't follow or have what bigger businesses have, I done my first module an it was sent off an I was graded an it all passed

He's left an I now have a second assigned to me, she is starting to cause such unnecessary stress that I feel like just saying forget it, but I can't because my boss is still wanting me through this, she doesn't want words the American way an bitched because I spelt organization with a z, which means spell checker is out, am not allowed to put scenarios down which is leaving me screwed because we don't follow or do certain things (no visitor badges, sign in book etc) so am really stuck on what to do, everything has to be HER way despite her not being the one grading it, she's basically undoing everything I was told an how I knew to do the modules

I've also said for personal reasons I dont take photos especially when they are being used an going to strangers, she wont listen an because she cant be arsed coming in to observe me which is what they are supposed to do then she wants photos for "proof" whatever that's supposed to mean

Am really stuck on how to bring this all up, I just want someone who's going to check the work is correct regardless of how it's done before it's graded, but if it's not her specific way then it's "wrong" but I really am struggling in how to put the work a different way

The spellings are easily sorted, change spellcheck to English (UK), to be honest I would issue with this as well. My manager would really have a go at me for not accepting US spellings, one got through as was away and we lost a lot of funding as a result.

I’d let people do their own scenarios when teaching, because everyone learns things differently but that won’t always transfer into essays etc and, so I’d allow people to do both, do their own to learn but then they’d need to apply that to set scenarios for the course. Sometimes providers are more lax for module one but after they aren’t. Do you have the syllabus? If you have a look at that it might give an idea of what they want, also is there a sort of student services (they should have someone)? You could ask them too.

I’ve done various courses and they vary so much. I also had tutors who actually let me do things wrong because they just couldn’t be bothered and I ended up failing, I had one totally ignore the syllabus (which I had and should have studied to and ignored them). Without knowing what the course expects it can be difficult. Things like referencing can cost a lot of marks as well and different institutions use different ways.

I hope some of that is helpful. Apologies if it isn’t!

 

[Snippysnips]

Sadly didn’t think to take a picture before the rain started, but does anyone happen to know what kind of animal does little curled poops? We’ve got something in our garden leaving 10p size presents all over our decking that look just like the poo emoji, totally curled up smooth symmetrical poop, and my Google searches are starting to get a little unhinged trying to work it out….

Could it be something like a hedgehog? you could try this link an see if you recognise any of it https://www.discoverwildlife.com/how-to/identify-wildlife/how-to-identify-animal-droppings

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Has anyone used period delaying medication before? If yes how did you find the experience and can you explain a bit how it works? Thanks

I can't remember what I was given but a few years ago I requested it as I was going on holiday. I was told to start taking the tablets a week before my period and continue until my holiday was finished. I had no side effects and my period restarted a few days after I stopped taking the tablets.

 

[littlepup]

It can be a sign of vitamin B12 deficiency so maybe try a supplement and/or get it checked out.

Kind of related to what I wanted to ask about - apologies if it's in the wrong place but I can't seem to find anywhere more relevant! I have a doctor's appointment this afternoon and feel like I'm going to get fobbed off with a blood test which will take ages to come back but I do think there could be something sinister going on. For context, I'm a healthy weight, go to the gym 3-4 times a week, eat well, don't smoke, ok drink too much but am consciously cutting down, take supplements and the medication I'm prescribed (for depression/anxiety and painkillers for endometriosis).

Since Christmas Eve I've had bouts of extreme tiredness/fatigue that last for a few weeks at a time - I literally can do nothing but sleep and I'm constantly exhausted no matter how much sleep I get. However for the past month or so I've also been getting pains in my legs - it's like a crushing but shooting pain up my shins and my thigh bones. It's definitely not muscular and doesn't get any better or worse with rest or exercise. No mobility issues either but it's genuinely so painful it has me in tears (and I have a high pain threshold). I also ache all over and am stiff first thing on a morning. No idea what could be causing it and Google is only throwing up the usual scaremongering!

The first line probably will be a blood test. Tiredness and leg pains on their own probably won't set off enough red flags to signal another pathway but obviously I'm not a doctor. You could check the NICE guidelines but really all a GP will do is follow the path they're told to follow. Assessment for underlying cause | Diagnosis | Leg cramps | CKS | NICE
Have you tried magnesium, vitamin B & D and fish oil supplements? Have you recently had covid or anything else that could explain it?

 

[becca7721]

Those terms were when I was working for the NHS deemed to be borderline offensive so it’s about time that’s been formalised!

 

[cowtastrophe]

In my old job, I used to be up at 4.45am to get into work for 7 then didn’t get home till 7pm most nights. Nowadays I‘m mostly up about 6.15 but go to the gym three mornings a week because I much prefer going first thing to get it done. Mind you, I wfh now whereas previously I had a 45min tube journey both ways.

 

[havee]

I’ve been there with my sister. She’s now happily married, has a child, mortgage, degree, travels and I’m always compared. I’ve qualifications but can no longer work - I’m seen as “dosser” even when I did work and could travel and do things I loved I was still a dosser. Got my degree, dosser wasting time and money. I’ll never get married, achieve anything I wanted to because of my illness.

One thing that really helped me I got from a self help book, decades ago, and that was purchasing a notebook and writing every single thing I had achieved, and, it was every single thing. So for example I learnt to talk, walk and other things. Judging yourself by others, which is very very easy NEVER helps. There’s a poem called The (spelling isn’t right something like that) which explains it perfectly. Go google and read it.

It’s an exceptionally hard thing to do. But do, do try the notebook, and, some colouring pencils and really celebrate what YOU have achieved. What it took for you to meet those achievements. Start with being born.

Yes I know it sounds silly. A friend actually bought me the book and first lot of colouring pencils because I thought it silly but it really did help. Other things help me too but as they’re connected to my faith I won’t be putting them here as I don’t want to cause any offence.

that poem was beautiful. Thank you for taking time to comfort me, i really appreciate it and i would love to hear the other things that helped you even if they are connected to a faith
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Just try to remember that these “achievements” are as judged by a society interested in tick boxes. A degree is celebrated but what about the 4 years career progression you have when not doing one? A marriage can of course be wonderful but is it not better to know you’ve never “settled” just to get a tick in that box if you’ve not found the right person? I’m not saying take away from the other person’s achievement, but just because you can’t buy a card at Clinton’s for whatever you have, doesn’t mean it’s not to be celebrated or an achievement in itself. Happiness, self love, being comfortable in your own company, knowing your worth, not being stuck in the system, having your own freedoms…. These are the things I want for my daughter. Yes the traditional milestones would be nice too but if she can grow up with peace of mind, confidence and the courage of her convictions that would be better imo than any “milestone” achievement. I know plenty of people who have the milestones under their belt but they’re no happier than those that don’t but are comfortable with that\don’t want them anyway. There’s no one set path to suit everyone.

yh that is true, thank you as well for your kind words and for comforting this heart of mine

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Hello all I’m hoping to get some advice for anyone who’s been through similar please? Asking for a friend. They have just moved house (rented). Both houses are managed by a letting agent and the house they have just moved from they only stayed 11months. There was a verbal agreement in place between the agent, the landlord and tenant that they could do this early as long as they stayed till another tenant was found. All parties knew they would have stayed the full year if needed. Now they have moved the next tenant has fallen through and the landlord is being evasive about the return of the deposit. They are in fact insinuating that because the tenancy was ended before the contract, and the next tenant has fallen through,
The landlord is out of pocket, in reply to a message asking when the deposit was returned. They’ve been told off the agent that they cannot use the deposit as the last months rent especially as the agent was involved and aware of the verbal agreement. The deposit is with the deposit protection scheme, does anyone have any experience with this company regarding disputes?

It's against the law for the landlord to use the deposit as rent without consent from the tenant. They can contact the deposit protection scheme about the situation who will guide them through the process. But maybe just mentioning to the agency and landlord that this is what the person intends to do might make them release the money

 

[bozlem3080]

Sorry it should have been page 12 of the last document. It looks like they should be offering a hysterscopy or ultrasound. I know referrals for anything are taking forever though. I know you can get private gynae ultrasounds and investigations around here for under £200.
Window to the womb, while commercial and a bit shit is cheap and does this, they have clinics all over the place.
View attachment 3225960

Do you have any other red flags, IBS symptoms, weight loss, night sweats? Is the bleeding the same as period bleeding in the sense of womb lining shedding kind of stuff?

I’d be inclined to go back and strongly push for further investigation, private scan or not. Don’t just take no for an answer, if they’re not offering blood tests and pill review, ask for it. Mention peri-menopause, they can test if you’re still ovulating with a simple blood test.Could you consider stopping the pill for a while to see if it’s linked? Ask them if it’s worthwhile. Ask them to explain why they don’t think it merits further investigation.

GPs are just that, general. There are huge gaps in knowledge and if they’re lazy they’re not inclined to fill them. Don’t self diagnose but present all of the information and ask the questions. Really advocate for yourself and write it all down before you go in so you don’t get derailed or fobbed off. You shouldn’t just accept pain, even if it can’t be cured it should be explained.

My period isn’t as heavy as it would be if not on the pill (would leak through a super plus tampon in 90 mins on heaviest days) but it’s not breakthrough bleeding would expect when on the mini pill, I’ve always had period pains but they are just getting worse, I’m am actually considering coming off the pill to see if that will help, I’m hoping the appointment next month I might get somewhere, thank you

 

[bozlem3080]

I’m sure it feels you’ve been fobbed off here. I wonder if the consultant/specialist you saw felt they’d be doing a disservice to discuss next steps without an MRI being in place but that should have been made clear.

Were you told you were being referred for an MRI? The wait time is dependent on the hospital you’re at, and the priority your case has been given. If you’ve been told that it is your decision you need all the information to make an informed decision.

I would recommend establishing next steps with the department you’re being treated under - are you on the waiting list for a scan, what is the timescale, once the results are known how will they be shared e.g. letter from consultant to you/your GP, will you have another consultant appointment at this stage, how are you expected to make an informed decision to proceed, once the decision is made what is the likely wait time.

If you’re not getting traction then involve the Patient Advice and Liaison Service (PALS) team who are there to help advocate for you and help you navigate the health system which can be confusing and challenging.

Thanks for the reply, I just feel annoyed I’ve waited 5mths for what was classed as an urgent appointment & it look 5 minutes, I don’t have any family or friends to discuss it with as live alone, I had a scan back in April the stones they could see were 20mm & 24mm plus lots of little ones & one was blocking the opening of my gallbladder, plus my gallbladder is enlarged & also had sludge in there, I had to google most of it, he didn’t even refer back to my scan, just asked if wanted it removed, said would send me for an MRI & that was it, I wasn’t given a timescale for the MRI but I’m doubtful will be seen this side of Christmas.

I was fobbed off when I had my gallbladder attack in March by paramedics as the pain was unbearable I had it 7hrs at this point thought it was trapped wind or bad heartburn plus I was on my period so put it down to that it was only when I was finding it hard to walk I rang 111 & they sent out paramedics, but because my OBs were ok they just told me loads can be wrong with my stomach & if carried on to see my GP it was only when I had the pain over 12hrs & had chest pain I was taken into hospital & diagnosed with gallstones.

 

[Snippysnips]

I just realised I missed my hair appointment this past weekend and I feel sick with guilt. What would you guys do? I think they have a cancellation policy whereby a charge is issued if you fail to cancel within 24 hours but I have not received this. I realise I had a missed call but hadn’t noticed that either with such a busy week. I feel so bad and embarrassed!
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Just to add I’ve never missed one before and have been going there a while now every 8 weeks or so for services.

Just be honest an say you genuinely forgot about it, I've had clients phone me up just before they are due to come in saying they have forgotten an can no longer make it, or I've phoned them asking where they are only to be told that it completely slipped their mind, it doesn't bother us as it can happen, the only time my coworkers get angry about it is if it's constantly happening

 

[Pesky Tarian]

Has anyone used period delaying medication before? If yes how did you find the experience and can you explain a bit how it works? Thanks

I have used ultovan tablets before but they had to be prescribed. They worked fine I did however have cramps (which I don't usually suffer from). I suppose because the period was trying to start but couldn't. The tablets essentially stop your womb shedding.

 

[LaBlonde]

I’m all for cheap so I’ll try that first. I also read they’re not keen on strong smells and I have some lavender bed spray that someone bought me that unsurprisingly I’ve never used so I may douse the area in that too!

they also hate citrus i think - my mother puts orange and lemon peels in her flowerbeds to keep them away!

 

[Snippysnips]

Sorry if I cam across as patronising about the spellcheck. It’s always set to US and I forget people don’t always know that. Same goes for grammar check if you use that. One thing I will also mention is do not argue with it and add words you think are right - I had a fellow student who did that (unbeknown to everyone until I helped him with something) and failed his essays about to be failed and his next one he got top marks. Nine times out of ten it’ll be right unless it’s a really technical essay or specialist.

It’s not up to her about how much time you put in and have available. If your work have already said they’d allow a year then that’s what you should get. I know exactly what she’s doing, trying to get you through faster so she looks brilliant at her job, when the opposite is true. Is it really up to her or your employer? I know what you mean about being called “sweetheart” etc that’s not an easy conversation but one you need to have. I’ve always hated that in work so a clear but firm “I’m not your sweetheart and we need to keep this professional please” tended to sort it out, not always, but mostly.

Thanks, an you are all good, I actually had no idea spell check could be set to US or UK so it's good to know an I'll get it changed tomorrow, am assuming it's the default it's on an like I say because I don't know the proper spelling then to me I had no idea it was wrong

I sent the module off tonight, it includes everything on the guide an has all its key phrases in as well as it's highlighted bits so if she comes back an says it's wrong then I really will have no clue what to do because I can't think of how else to word it, she offers 0 help an says I need to do it alone but won't accept how it's been put down

An yeah I'll have a word about the whole sweetheart an honey thing, my mum also works with the council an apparently they had a email sent round about not using those terms so she's not even doing her own job right

 

[HoGi]

Any advice on prickly heat? Or that’s what I think it is…
I already take antihistamines for hay fever and my limbs are insanely itchy as soon as it gets above 22 degrees.

The only thing that helps mine is actual piriton

 

[CharlieTYBT]

Hey, I totally get why you're feeling confused and kind of shaken up right now. It’s really hard when someone you had a serious relationship with, especially someone who hurt you deeply, suddenly shows up in your messages after so many years. It can stir up a lot of emotions, even if you’ve worked hard to move on.

Honestly, it sounds like your ex reaching out was more about him than about you. People like that often try to clear their conscience or seek validation without really thinking about how it affects the person they hurt. It’s really telling that he sent this message and then disappeared after you replied, almost like he got what he needed and left you with all the emotions to deal with.

You responded with grace and maturity, which shows how far you’ve come. His silence after your reply says a lot more about him than about you. Don’t let it make you second-guess yourself.

It’s totally normal that this has brought up old wounds, and it's okay to feel the way you do. Be kind to yourself as you process it. And if you feel like these feelings are weighing on you, maybe reach out to a close friend or a therapist to help work through them.

Just remember, you’ve grown and healed and you don’t owe him anything more. You've already shown more strength than he probably deserves.

Take care of yourself!

Thank you for your lovely message. Yeah, it definitely threw me getting a message from him after all these years and has stirred up all sorts of emotions, it's weird as I didn't think I'd be bothered by it/him and I feel frustrated at myself. That's how I feel, if it was genuine he wouldn't have gone quiet again after me replying, it's very weird. Anyone who's ever reached out to me after some time has always had a line of communication, so knowing him and the way he's wired up he was doing it just to make himself feel good. Shows he hasn't changed much and I don't have to put up with his ways anymore. I'm considering therapy as clearly there are some issues that have not resolved deep inside.

 

[CoffeeMamma]

Go into your online account scroll to the bottom and you can close the claim yourself. Hopefully then they’ll leave you alone x

I tried that, they said because it's a joint claim my husband has to have a meeting too even though his circumstances haven't changed!!
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Take a screenshot of you telling them you want it closed then block every way of communication like the phone number an email address, then if they send any letters to the house send the screenshot of you saying to them you want it closed an you will take them for harassment if they continue to send things out, because at this stage it really is harassment

I messaged them telling them I didn't need UC anymore, they sent out a form which I duly completed. They then said i had to do one online. Which I did. I don't understand what is missing because surely they're getting my information through my NI number each month? I think I'll try this next

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Does anyone have any knowledge about confidentiality of completed timesheets in the workplace at all? I realise this may be down to an individual organisation’s HR policy but I’m trying to get an understanding of good practice.

The reason I’m asking is because currently, our signed and completed timesheets are left in a box for office staff to process for payroll and another member of staff is going through them and then sharing numbers of hours worked, breaks etc with other people as well as using the information to bully and harass staff members. It has been raised to management but as I said, I just wanted to see what people’s thoughts were.

It depends what the issues are. We do discuss people taking to many breaks, not clocking in on time etc etc
There is no privacy regarding this. Where you might expect it is when it comes to your actual pay

 

[tomato_paste]

They aren't animated no, I'll try, PP doesn't seem to be user friendly when doing SS, it's just super frustrating that they all look perfect on canva an I've even looked up the size for PP slides an changed then to that size on canva an they still don't fit properly

Do you have a design template for the background? If so, you can edit the Slide Master and insert the image there as a background image for all slides. See here:

Customize a slide master - Microsoft Support

Learn how to add slide masters to your presentation.

support.microsoft.com

This will allow you to work with your design but still add text and stuff via powerpoint.

The idea with a screenshot is also a great one. Or you could download the canva design as a png or even as a pdf. The button for it should be in the top right, you can save it from there.

If you just want to print the slides, why not copy and paste the canva pictures into a word and then print them?