The advice thread for random problems #4

[Kim Mild]

People with young families - what car do you have? Due to upgrade our car in September. Currently got a Suzuki Vitara and we love it but fancy a change. Need a big boot for the pram/bike/scooter/shopping etc.

Any recommendations?

Skoda octavia . Very spacious with a huge boot.a

 

[Babysnark]

I had a pest controller over as I've got a carpet beetle problem in my bedroom. He looked through my underwear drawer which is the other side of my room from where the beetles are. Normal or weird? I've never had a pest issue so don't know really what's necessary

How bad is your infestation if you don't mind me asking? We've had carpet beetles for years, only see the odd couple but they drive me mad. What did they recommend to get rid of them?

 

[Snippysnips]

How much would you be looking to pay to get a fridge an freezer fixed? I don't know if the springs are away on the doors or if it's the seal around it, I can close it over but it's not staying tightly shut an can easily be pulled open again with barely any effort

The fridge an freezer are both built into the kitchen units as well so not something I can outright replace like a standalone am there's 0 room for a standalone

Can it be a joiner or does it need to be someone more specialised since it's a fridge an freezer

 

[Snippysnips]

Any computer savvy people, is this a good deal for a gaming pc? Am still a bit wary with the whole building one but seen this an figured if I can get into it then maybe I could slowly upgrade over time when needed an this would be ok to start me off with

 

[Thank(space)you]

And @Babysnark is this a carpet beetle? Just found it on a cushion upstairs but have been coming across them on my linen sofa downstairs now I’m worried my stuff is going to get eaten by them.
View attachment 2828178

I'm not a pest controller so take it with a pinch of salt but to me it does look like a varied carpet beetle, yes

 

[Rxt156]

When you sell something on Facebook do you arrange for the stranger to go to your house to collect, or a neutral location? I had a weird encounter tonight with a guy who I swear was about to storm through my door when I opened it, and then stopped when he saw my husband. It’s made me feel really vulnerable that this guy has our address and got a look inside, but I feel silly asking people to meet me in a car park just to buy a used iron or something. What do you all do?

I’d rather go to someone else’s house to be honest. You can stay on the doorstep and they don’t have your address

 

[Grizzlybear]

Hey! Wasn't really sure if there was anywhere more suitable to post this, so thought I'd ask here. I have an 18 month old British Shorthair who is well behaved 90% of the time - 10% being in a morning when she wakes us up at 5/6am by clawing at the carpet. I get up to feed her but she will eat then come back and start clawing at the carpet again. She never does this at any other point in the day, only at that time in the morning. She basically cries until we get up, then once we are up she sits like a little loaf peacefully watching out of the window. I don't know what the issue is because we do feed her but it's getting to the point where it's making holes and pulls in the carpet which naturally is a nightmare.

Was thinking of getting an automatic feeder and setting it at intervals maybe a little earlier, so she stays downstairs and is fed?

I think they just want you up I read that cats don’t sleep as deeply as humans. So they get concerned when you are unresponsive and do whatever works to get you woken up. Can you pop something over the area or get a “decoy” like a toy or rug/scratching mat?

 

[Snippysnips]

I don't believe it is a requirement for the investigation meeting notes to be provided at the end of the interview. The ACAS guide on investigation meetings says that at the end of the interview the interviewer should "explain that the interviewee will be provided shortly with a copy of their witness statement for them to check and confirm that it is accurate".

By all means contact Citizens Advice for support. What I can say is that I work for Citizens Advice and if your Dad was coming to me at this stage I'd say that he needs to wait for the outcome of the investigation. There's nothing more that he needs to do at this stage. I'd also be suggesting he reads the information on our website and the ACAS website (there is a lot!).

This link is to the first page of the CAB advice, notice the following pages are linked on the right-hand side:

Dealing with disciplinary action at work

Find out what to do if your employer takes disciplinary action against you.

www.citizensadvice.org.uk

Some of the ACAS advice is written from the point of view of advising the employer what they should do:

Discipline and grievance | Acas

How workers and employers can use formal procedures. Disciplinary. Grievance. Investigation.

www.acas.org.uk

Thanks so much for all this, I'll give it all a read an see where we can go from there, you are right that right now all we can really do is wait an see what's going to happen, it will be Monday I think before we know as that's when admin are back in

 

[Snippysnips]

My advice would be that if his employer does start a formal disciplinary process, your Dad should confine his response to the accusations made against him. Unless he can show that they have a bearing on the accusations I don't think he should introduce other issues that he is unhappy about. I get that it's tempting to 'fight fire with fire' but I don't think it helps. I appreciate it can difficult but it's best to approach the issue as calmly as possible.

Once this is over he can raise the things that he's unhappy about separately. He should do this informally at first e.g. by speaking to his line manager etc. but if this doesn't resolve the problems he could raise a formal grievance.There is information about this on the ACAS or Citizens Advice websites.

Thanks, I know it is hard to stay calm in all this an he is doing better than I am cause I just want to go in there, we are going get him to citizens advice this week as well an see what they can do for us, right now we have to wait on the notes from the meeting coming back to us, he wasn't handed the notes on the day as they said it needed typed up then given which I didn't think was fair as we don't know if they will change anything, it will probably be monday now before we get the notes an it was Thursday his meeting

 

[CoffeeMamma]

People with young families - what car do you have? Due to upgrade our car in September. Currently got a Suzuki Vitara and we love it but fancy a change. Need a big boot for the pram/bike/scooter/shopping etc.

Any recommendations?

Dacia- I have a Sandero but the Duster might be better. Super cheap to run, replace parts, tax, etc.

 

[Snippysnips]

My dad has to go for a meeting tomorrow I think a disciplinary, some females at his work have come together an are victimising him because they want him to leave so have given false accusations of him being aggressive (he's 67 an like 5ft 6 an a complete walkover which is why I hate this place because they take advantage) he's not in a union so will I able to go as a rep to record an take notes? He's getting forgetful because of very early dementia, he can still do the job perfectly fine because it's auto for him but he can sometimes forget conversations an I worry he will forget certain things of this meeting

Obviously I want to take this further, he says not to bring up anything tomorrow because it's too early an because he also wants to take things further so we can't say anything which will give them something they can turn against him, which is why I am simple going to record an take notes, is there anything else I can do?

It's also his day off tomorrow, are they allowed to be taking him in on his day off as well?

 

[cowtastrophe]

Slightly random one, but does anyone know if there’s a setting in the Apple mail app to stop calendar invites automatically going into my calendar?

The reason is that I keep getting spam calendar invites which go to my junk folder (which is fine), but if I open the junk folder at all, it syncs with my calendar and I get a spam appointment appear. I then can’t delete it or decline it and it annoys me seeing it there.

I’ve been through the settings menus for email and calendar but can’t see anything that might do it.

 

[Snippysnips]

Maybe it's just a different shape to your screen, so it would cut off bits regardless? I would just Google for an online photo resizer if you need it, Adobe do a free service for changing the format of pictures, you must be able to resize too. Otherwise, the photo app on your phone and email to yourself?

Thanks I'll try that, don't know why it wants me to have windows 11 pro just to be able to put one of my own pictures as the background, you'd think that something as simple as that would be included on windows 11

 

[Lollylaylow]

This is a fairly new thing. So I imagine a lot of older vehicles won’t have a long history

But why though? Most older cars have a lovely long list to peruse to see if a particular fault is recurring.

 

[stargirl23]

I can't be the only one tempted to say genital warts or crabs or something equally embarrassing just for the giggles?? ...Sorry, I'll see myself out.

Ahahahha imagine their reaction

 

[MsGilmore]

I wasn’t sure where to put this so here seems like a good place!

Basically, I have been toying with starting my own business for a couple of years and have been putting things in place for a while.
I also attend a dance class which gained some new members when the school moved to new premises about 18 months ago. One of the new members is a former dance teacher. Last year she mentioned in the WhatsApp group that she wouldn’t be able to attend for a while because she was doing a course at night college. She wants to set up the same business as I do. Well, she now has set up that business.
She is a very confident person and loves being the centre of attention. She’s not even slightly humble and I have never warmed to her.
Nobody knows that I want to also set up the same business and I feel awkward whenever it is mentioned. It can also be quite cliquey and it gives me the ick to see the owner of the school blowing smoke up the arse of certain people. We are all your customers and we should all be valued!
Anyway, I feel awkward whenever this business is mentioned and they are telling her how great she is. I feel like I am keeping a dirty secret even though I’m not. I don’t feel threatened by her. There’s room for all of us, but I’m not sure that she would see it that way. I also don’t want it to look like I am doing it just because she has. I also don’t want to put the rest of them in an awkward position even though I don’t expect them to be my customers either - unlike her!
This has made it difficult for me to go to my classes. Although I think this is partly because of the favoritism. I shouldn’t have to feel like this and after all of the work that I have done personally, it feels unfair that I have to face this rather than go ahead and concentrate on hopefully changing my life. My friend said to just let it go over my head, but I just can’t. So far I am choosing avoidance. I do know a few business coaches, but it’s not really a business problem!

 

[Thank(space)you]

what has your friend said about it?

honestly, i think there are some things where it’s impossible to avoid issues. this man basically forced you to intake drugs against your will. you can’t tiptoe around that to avoid upsetting your friend. he had no consideration for you or for your safety, as said above, anything could have happened.

At the time she kept telling him to stop trying to pressure me, and to respect the fact I'd said no. Then when he gummed me she was like "wtf stop it she said no"

 

[Snippysnips]

I've never heard of ebuyer so I'll have a look thanks

Not really, I tried some FB groups but it's just all mixed with some saying this is good an others saying no, there's no clear direction with anything because if one says get such an such another is saying don't

 

[square_spoon]

We’re being recalled to the office starting 1st February () so I’ve had to invest in a few new outfits. Mostly dresses as I’m not really a work trouser fan…..but I am stumped about what shoes/boots to wear with them. For dresses this style/length what would you pair them with? I work in a pretty formal field if that makes a difference.

 

[Squittel]

I get this a lot from my daughter when she invites friends over for tea in front of them and I just say 'oh what a shame, we can't today/ tomorrow/ whenever but maybe another time.

I’m hoping I can just get out of this one indefinitely honestly if it was any other kid I’d be up for it but my daughter and him are just bad for each other and he’s unfortunately (probably through no fault of his own) a badly behaved child.