The advice thread for random problems #3

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I think moving on would be her best option - it's one of the best ways to start moving up the ladder anyway at her age.
There's never a better time to look for a new position than while you're still employed. I second this. She should start having informational interviews with her network, seems like she's made good connections while she's worked out here, putting out feelers, maybe even sending her CV to positions that might be a good move. It sounds like she loves her job there, but if she's being stretched out to thin and not even being given full credit and recognition for the hard work, it's not the right place in the long run. She's in the right position to make a move, especially if her other colleagues appreciate her. They'd probably be happy to give her recommendations when the time comes.
 
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I'm not sure where to post this but I'm trying to find a luxury hotel/stay as a birthday gift. Ideally one-two nights with a dinner and spa package/access. Anyone stayed at an amazing hotel?. Ideally around the Cotswolds area but anywhere from Manchester to down south would be ideal.
 
I'm not sure where to post this but I'm trying to find a luxury hotel/stay as a birthday gift. Ideally one-two nights with a dinner and spa package/access. Anyone stayed at an amazing hotel?. Ideally around the Cotswolds area but anywhere from Manchester to down south would be ideal.
Bovey Castle
 
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Asking this on behalf of my lovely daughter, who doesn't have an account - and I'm not really sure what to advise her here (my career was very different from hers).

'I work as the only communications manager for a small charity, and we hosted a two-day event recently explaining some new legislation that is relevant to us. For months beforehand I had been working on the materials, badges, roll-ups, banners, powerpoint designs, etc as I am the only communications/press person in the office and that's my job. As we are a small office of about 10 people, a lot of my job involves writing articles for magazines on our very niche technical topic. I have a real interest in it and was looking forward to hearing from some experts at the event on this legislation that I have written extensively about for over a year.

About two weeks before the event, my boss called me to say my attendance isn't necessary as we 'aren't doing any social media' and 'I would find it boring anyway'. I was really taken aback but accepted his decision. Several colleagues were really shocked at this and tried to speak to him to say that I should be there for various reasons. My boss was having none of it and said there would be enough people there and I just wasn't needed. I wasn't even invited to the after-working-hours dinner.

In the end, the entire office attended apart from me and our office manager (who stayed in the office as we were having repairs done). I didn't realise quite how hurt I would be seeing pictures of them enjoying drinks and dinner and sharing inside jokes after the event on our office WhatsApp group. I felt disrespected by my boss for brushing me off for an event I'd worked hard on, on a topic I was interested in.

Am I overreacting?'
Absolutely not overreacting…but what I will say is that this is often the nature of working in a standalone role (the only Comms Manager) in a charity, and is compounded by the fact that it’s a small one. As your daughter’s job is *adjacent* to the mission as opposed to *critical* to it (as in she doesn’t house the homeless/feed the starving/look after the sick animals) it’ll often be overlooked and taken for granted, and she’ll be in the position where colleagues/managers will think her attendance at mission-related things isn’t necessary, that she’ll be bored…or that her time will be better spent elsewhere doing her comms. A stand-alone role can be quite isolated anyway and working from home can subtly contribute to the division without anyone noticing. I started my career years ago in a small charity and the same thing used to happen to me all the time. I ran back to the private sector and am still here.

If your daughter is job hunting these are things to consider for her next role. It’s horrible to be excluded like this, particularly after all her hard work, and she deserves to work somewhere that treats her better.
 
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If your daughter is job hunting these are things to consider for her next role. It’s horrible to be excluded like this, particularly after all her hard work, and she deserves to work somewhere that treats her better.
Thank you so much, to you and everyone, she feels validated and a lot more sure of herself after hearing this. I myself had a medical career so I really am grateful for you sharing this, it's advice I could never have given her.

She was playing around with the idea of a career change by doing a STEM masters and I think she is more set than ever. I'm certainly encouraging her to pursue it now!
 
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I'm not sure where to post this but I'm trying to find a luxury hotel/stay as a birthday gift. Ideally one-two nights with a dinner and spa package/access. Anyone stayed at an amazing hotel?. Ideally around the Cotswolds area but anywhere from Manchester to down south would be ideal.
Love a spa break 🧖‍♀️ !!.

The two that stick in my mind are mid range Thoresby Hall. If you really wanted to push the boat out Limewood.
 
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I know it's a long shot but does anyone frequently holiday in Japan? Or have been a few times? Am looking to go next year but not sure what the best time would be for me, ideally I'd like it to be when it's more quiet, I know a place like Japan is never going be quiet but surely there must be a point where it's not as hectic as it can get with say the cherry blossom season, I also can't handle heat, warm is fine an I'll even take cool or cold but I can't go when it's going be blazing sun
@prozacprincess might be able to help?
 
I know it's a long shot but does anyone frequently holiday in Japan? Or have been a few times? Am looking to go next year but not sure what the best time would be for me, ideally I'd like it to be when it's more quiet, I know a place like Japan is never going be quiet but surely there must be a point where it's not as hectic as it can get with say the cherry blossom season, I also can't handle heat, warm is fine an I'll even take cool or cold but I can't go when it's going be blazing sun
There’s a solo travel thread that may be able to help.
 
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Someone parked in the parking spot that’s under my apartment lease. I don’t have a car but regardless, the parking spot comes with my apartment in the lease (and is therefore paid for as part of my rent) and no one else should park there.

I rang the security in my building to check what the story is and I was told off because I rang from an unknown number. I didn’t even realize the caller ID was switched off.

I mean seriously. What kind of nonsense is this? The security office keeps a record of all cars registered to access the parking lot.

I took pictures of the offending car parked in my space.

Two questions:
- If it is not an isolated incident and the car takes over my space, what can I do if the security refuses to help?
- If I found out my agent/landlord gave the spot away without informing when it is part of my lease and therefore paid for in my rent, what can I do? Can I ask for a rent reduction?
 
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Someone parked in the parking spot that’s under my apartment lease. I don’t have a car but regardless, the parking spot comes with my apartment in the lease (and is therefore paid for as part of my rent) and no one else should park there.

I rang the security in my building to check what the story is and I was told off because I rang from an unknown number. I didn’t even realize the caller ID was switched off.

I mean seriously. What kind of nonsense is this? The security office keeps a record of all cars registered to access the parking lot.

I took pictures of the offending car parked in my space.

Two questions:
- If it is not an isolated incident and the car takes over my space, what can I do if the security refuses to help?
- If I found out my agent/landlord gave the spot away without informing when it is part of my lease and therefore paid for in my rent, what can I do? Can I ask for a rent reduction?
I’d hope it’s a one off. If not then the person needs to be told as it may be a genuine mistake. If not ….. I’d be buying a car to park in the space and leave it there so no one else can 😆
 
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I know it's a long shot but does anyone frequently holiday in Japan? Or have been a few times? Am looking to go next year but not sure what the best time would be for me, ideally I'd like it to be when it's more quiet, I know a place like Japan is never going be quiet but surely there must be a point where it's not as hectic as it can get with say the cherry blossom season, I also can't handle heat, warm is fine an I'll even take cool or cold but I can't go when it's going be blazing sun
My daughter has been a few times and enjoyed October very much. Less rain, mid-twenties or so for the weather, lovely.
 
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How do you know if you have been blocked by someone on WhatsApp? The person’s privacy was such that it has never said if they are online/last seen etc.

I read that if you’re blocked, you would not be able to add the person to a new group. I have tried this this morning and I am able to set up a new group with them, but my message to them from last night is still showing one grey tick.

Have they blocked me? 🤔
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I'm not sure where to post this but I'm trying to find a luxury hotel/stay as a birthday gift. Ideally one-two nights with a dinner and spa package/access. Anyone stayed at an amazing hotel?. Ideally around the Cotswolds area but anywhere from Manchester to down south would be ideal.
Thornton Hall on the Wirral is really nice
 
How do you know if you have been blocked by someone on WhatsApp? The person’s privacy was such that it has never said if they are online/last seen etc.

I read that if you’re blocked, you would not be able to add the person to a new group. I have tried this this morning and I am able to set up a new group with them, but my message to them from last night is still showing one grey tick.

Have they blocked me? 🤔
I think with WhatsApp it’s really tricky to know if someone has blocked you.

The grey tick isn’t really indicative because they could just be they’re in a dodgy area for network.

if you’ve been able to add them to a group that sounds like they haven’t blocked you?
 
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Thank you - I’m hoping not! I don’t think I’ve been blocked before by anyone so I don’t know if the add group thing is reliable?

I think you can also test it by trying to ring the person through WhatsApp but I’d be scared to do that in case I’m NOT blocked and they then wondered why I’d randomly tried to call them 😬
 
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How do you know if you have been blocked by someone on WhatsApp? The person’s privacy was such that it has never said if they are online/last seen etc.

I read that if you’re blocked, you would not be able to add the person to a new group. I have tried this this morning and I am able to set up a new group with them, but my message to them from last night is still showing one grey tick.

Have they blocked me? 🤔
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Thornton Hall on the Wirral is really nice
Did they have a profile pic? If so & it's disappeared then they've blocked you
 
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Yeah they still do. I thought that even if you get blocked, you can still see their pic though? You just wouldn’t be able to see any changes? X
no if you block someone then your profile pic vanishes and turns to a grey silhouette
 
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no if you block someone then your profile pic vanishes and turns to a grey silhouette
Thanks for this. Are you sure though? I’ve heard different things re the profile pic. I think I need a second phone/number so I can block myself and try all these methods out! 🤣 🕵️‍♀️
 
Thanks for this. Are you sure though? I’ve heard different things re the profile pic. I think I need a second phone/number so I can block myself and try all these methods out! 🤣 🕵️‍♀️
100% certain, my sister is fond of blocking me🤣
 
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100% certain, my sister is fond of blocking me🤣
Funnily enough, this is my sister too! 🤣

So does the profile picture just disappear? I’m just so confused as to why it’s just showing 1 grey tick from last night if I’m not blocked. I just tried calling her (not through WhatsApp but normally on a withheld number) and it rang once before going to voicemail - could mean she has no signal or could mean she’s blocked my number on her phone too?! 🤷🏻‍♀️
 
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