The advice thread for random problems #3

[Snippysnips]

Could really do with a thread for homeware, like decent finds and bargains, where to go for good quality etc, for example my DFS sofa is 14 years old and we love it but it’s time to change and now I hear only horror stories about the brand, but have got no idea where to go for a decent quality and comfortable sofa these days!

Think it just depends on the area tbh, we have always gotten ours from DFS an it's been fine, never had a problem with them but I have also heard the horror stories from others, I think it's going be the same from everywhere really, all will have both positive and negative reviews

 

[Rxt156]

Appreciate we’re months away but I’m going to be asked about this soon… Christmas- a family member has been nasty about my little one (nearly 5 months old). She hates kids and sadly this has translated to my little one and she’s let me know her feelings. She will be there at Christmas unless she’s uninvited (it won’t happen which is fine as I’m not the one hosting Christmas, it’ll be my parents). I’ve cut her out, not spoken since it happened a month ago, what she’s done is unforgivable imo and I don’t want her around my baby.

I don’t want to put my parents in the middle but I also don’t want my child around her. It’ll be her first Christmas so I want it to be special, and my parents will want to be with her. I’m not one for dramatics so don’t want to give my parents an ultimatum, but I also don’t want to be around her. I’m in two minds whether to just go as it’s just one day, or whether I say I don’t want her around the baba and we celebrate Christmas on Boxing Day or something. Sadly my mum will be upset regardless but it’s not something I’m backing down on and all the emotional blackmail in the world won’t make me feel any different, saying something about me is one thing but I can’t forgive saying something about my innocent baby.

So ultimately I’m not sure what to do, I don’t think there’s a right answer as someone will get upset regardless.

Bloody hell what did she say? Don’t blame you for not wanting this person around your child. It would totally ruin xmas for you if you were altogether and you didn’t want to be. Speak to your parents see what they say.

 

[Ingognito.Queen]

To begin with my partner thought I was being paranoid but since other stuff has happened he's now acknowledged it.

What is the other stuff?

 

[chickhicks86]

My daughter choked on water last night and was sick because of the coughing. She only sicked up the water. I'm usually a very strict 48hrs at home after sickness kinda Mum but she is begging to go to school because its a fun dress up day. My husband is saying no, she was sick, she needs to stay home, but because it was only because she choked I'm unsure. What are your thoughts?

I would send her in, if you are 100% sure it's not a bug. Maybe mention to the teacher though, just in case the fact she was sick comes up in conversation

 

[CallMeHollywood]

Anyone know anything about investing or where to go to learn? I saw a post on tattle but I can’t remember where or what thread

Talk to a financial advisor, they’ll take a few at the end of it but it’s worth getting professional input.

 

[CoffeeMamma]

My daughter choked on water last night and was sick because of the coughing. She only sicked up the water. I'm usually a very strict 48hrs at home after sickness kinda Mum but she is begging to go to school because its a fun dress up day. My husband is saying no, she was sick, she needs to stay home, but because it was only because she choked I'm unsure. What are your thoughts?

I’d send her in. My son is a vegetarian on a predominantly plant based diet and he often has loose poo (sorry!!) and the school said it’s my judgement as to if I send him In because otherwise he’d have horrific attendance (like an absence a week!) the 48 hour thing exists for bugs.

 

[TwooTwooTwitTwitTwoo]

england, council housing

what is cab

Citizens Advice Bureau

 

[stargirl23]

Definitely call even when I had my wisdom tooth removed I didn’t have puffiness or pain after a week. Hope all is okay

 

[givemethenight]

Thank you - I’m hoping not! I don’t think I’ve been blocked before by anyone so I don’t know if the add group thing is reliable?

I think you can also test it by trying to ring the person through WhatsApp but I’d be scared to do that in case I’m NOT blocked and they then wondered why I’d randomly tried to call them

 

[WeHadFunRight]

Ususally they will replace the broken parts of piping / connectors, which might include opening up the wall. Hopefully they can get to it without taking down tiles in the bathroom. Expect dust.

You can then get an industrial grade dehydration device for the cupboard to take out the moisture from the wall and floors if they haven't damaged the tile mortar - that is gonna be tricky but hopefully you will be able to dry out the wall from the cupboard. If not, you might have to take the tile down, as it will eat at the plaster and everything and cause mold and other damage long term.

As long as there is no obvious damage to the joists such as weakening of them, you should be ok to leave the warped floors if you don't mind having them.

Edit: and yes, phone a plumber first thing yo assess damage. Contact your household insurance too to see if they offer financial help. Sometimes they have specialists to recommend too.

If you can, turn off the water to the bathroom too at least overnight.

Thank you - I think this is at least where we are lucky that our bathroom is on the ground floor. I think the damp has done some damage to the tiles side of the wall because the grout is a bit grubby looking and I couldn’t get it clean even when I blasted it with the steamer and bleach… to be totally honest it’s a bloody old bathroom that is falling apart, bits of iron have been falling off the tub for the last year, and I can’t wait to update it but the timing is just terrible! I guess if they do have to retile we could only get that wall done (it would be temporary in the grand scheme of things.)?

 

[saltandvinegarcrisps]

Not so much a problem but like a king for advice S IV recently lost weight and need some new clothes.im taking the opportunity to buy quality items that will last for once!

Jumpers - any recommendations for soft jumpers? Possibly cashmere or merino wool?

Trousers - comfy stylish trousers that are not jeans?

Coat - something warm and waterproof that won't make me look frumpy

PJ's - a top and trouser bottom set that is really soft and comfy

Robe - ideally a towelling one that feels like one you get at the spa?

Trainers - what trainers is everyone wearing these days? Ideally would want something that goes with most jeans/leggings etc

I have a couple of cashmere jumpers, M&S and white company. My towelling dressing gown is Barbour and 2 years old, I love it definitely gives me the spa feeling. Jeans depends on the fit you want, I have m&s and Levi's. New balance trainers. Pjs anywhere as long as they are 100% cotton for me. Matalan or next usually.

 

[Rxt156]

Apologies in advance if there is a thread regarding child maintenance.
The father to my 6 year old son and I had a private agreement drawn up 2.5 years ago. Recently, due to my mortgage likely going up by about £400 a month from Nov. I asked him if he would mind just recalculating the amount we agreed. He currently pays me just over £200 a month but has our son 3 nights a week. I only asked him to recalculate and did not mention an amount. He immediately went ballistic and started asking for an itemised list of what I spend on our son every month. Any way to cut a long story short I decided to make an official application through CMS. This had lead to him becoming increasingly confrontational and difficult. Whilst my application is now being processed he has now requested that I pay for the petrol for when he drops off our son. He lives 1.9 miles from me and I don’t drive.
I don’t want to agree to this but am not sure if he has any rights to ask me? What if I say no and he just refuses to drive him back to me?
Any thoughts on this greatly appreciated, thanks guys xx

This is tough as I imagine his mortgage is going up too. Not sure he should be paying towards yours if he has your son 3 days? It’s just less than half of the week.

I await other responses

PS the petrol thing he is just being petty to get back at you

 

[Carapop]

Folks, have come home from hospital destroyed with residue from the tape they used for the cannula, IV lines etc. I’ve scrubbed my skin raw to no avail. Anything I might have laying around the house (or could get in supermarket) that might sort it out? My arms and chest are wrecked!

 

[CoffeeMamma]

Does anyone support anyone via patreon? There’s a couple of podcasts I love and they do bonus episodes for their patreon subscribers but I’m wondering if I sign up now will I get their back catalogue of bonus episodes too?

Me! And yes you do get the back catalogue provided that’s included in the membership

 

[stardust1]

You could try asking PALs for advice on your situation, they may be able to advise, as they do that too, here at least.
Rocking the boat can be risky though (been there). I got diagnosis with second opinion but they were far away and after my conditioned worsened couldn’t get there so forced back to the one I that gave misdiagnosis. To say the weren’t impressed would not be an understatement, even though there’s no shame missing a rare condition they acted like it was a personal attack. I should also say, as the condition is across disciplines not all consultants acted that way - one literally drew a line in my notes and started with me again. Which was all that was needed. There’s no treatment so it was more management for me .

Good luck

theres 3 others at the same hospital that i think are actually better suited for us so wouldn’t be far to travel etc. it is the same for my son it’s more medication to manage long term that i need help with but the surgeon is against it and calls it ‘gods plan’

 

[TheGlossy]

A bulldog or a pitbull? Bulldogs are notoriously gentle, funny and friendly. I'd be surprised if it was aggressive

Sorry, I think it was a pit bull.

I looked at pictures of bulldogs, it didn’t look like that at all.

 

[devilleil]

Guys I feel so sad and I’m not sure what to do. I haven’t really been myself the last few weeks due to various things I’ve got going on health wise/personal life wise so I’ve not been my best self but this last week ar work we’ve been really overwhelmed and there’s been more agency workers than full time staff. I was a bit snappy at one of the agency workers but I realised I was out of pocket and apologised straight away. They told me they feel like I’ve been picking on them for the last week and it’s been hurting their feelings as I’ve been ‘targeting them’. Maybe I’m overthinking but it’s really playing on my mind and making me feel guilty. I’ve told them it wasn’t the case as I have no issue with them personally which is true I’ve just been a bit more tense lately however I always try and be kind. I just feel really really guilty and don’t know what to do.

 

[stargirl23]

Thank you for your replies I had only just picked up my new car from the garage at the time so that was upsetting, and then I was so anxious over the whole thing. My son was on the verge of needing the next stage car seat (he’s just crept over the weight limit) so I think I’ll take the opportunity to replace it. I might not “need” to but I’ll definitely feel better, and if the insurance will pay for it then bonus!!
Edit to add: physically I’m totally fine! Emotionally I’m a bit of a wreck!

You’ll get there lovely. It’s normal to feel shaken up xx

 

[littlepup]

I know it's a long shot but does anyone frequently holiday in Japan? Or have been a few times? Am looking to go next year but not sure what the best time would be for me, ideally I'd like it to be when it's more quiet, I know a place like Japan is never going be quiet but surely there must be a point where it's not as hectic as it can get with say the cherry blossom season, I also can't handle heat, warm is fine an I'll even take cool or cold but I can't go when it's going be blazing sun

There’s a solo travel thread that may be able to help.

 

[Blondeangel2515]

Thankyou for your replies. Too ill for hoarding uk. Sorry for repeating myself. I shouldn’t have mentioned it, it’s just I can’t mention my conditions!
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Not for the first time, we really need an emoji!

I’m glad it’s sorted for you!

Thanks i really appreciate. Glad it’s over but I’m sure they’re gonna feel absolutely stupid when the police officer phones them she was fab and understanding I think it’s something they must get often as she seem to have had a light bulb moment in the middle of the conversation say when explained the situation
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YOU think she needs to know, some people would rather turn a blind eye. I presume she is an adult, you’ve messaged her before and she’s blocked you. Take that as a hint that she doesn’t want to know and that’s on her and has nothing to do with you. Leave it alone and let her make her own mistakes if she chooses to stay with him. I think you’ve taken this too far, step away and become the bigger person. I get he hurt you, and he will likely hurt her but she needs to discover that herself.

Nah I’ll message her again if he ends up messaging me again she may not want to know but I rather give her the information then she can decide what she wants to do with it. Leaving it alone will make him think he can keep doing it and it’s no wonder cheating is normalised that’s days.
He hasn’t even hurt me I’m being the bigger person by letting her know what he’s doing while she’s out shopping and I’m letting him know he can’t get one over on me least she knows he’s mugging her off and she needs to keep tabs on him