The advice thread for random problems #3

[Ursaarctosarctos]

Hey! I used a cleaning team when my mental health was bad, they came once a month in a normal car. The ladies were lovely and so kind. If I was feeling really down one would even make me tea I paid about £60 for a 4 hour clean, that’s all they needed to boss the 4-bed I lived in at the time. I would recommend shopping around for someone local, they offer really good deals if they don’t have to travel far. You can get them to come when everyone is at work if it makes you more comfortable.

Thank you for the response! That sounds really great all of it. I have been looking at local companies, good to know that's how it will be most affordable, but £60 sounds really reasonable. Thank you

 

[becca7721]

Anyone had tonsillitis? Any tips to get it to stop hurting as painkillers aren't touching it at all and I've had 3 hours sleep the past two nights in broken chunks, I'm literally dying and also crying which only hurts me more haha.

I've been given antibiotics by the doctor hoping they will help but I've only just taken my first dose.

I had it before when I was about 18 but don't remember it being this bad then...

Gargling with salt water can help too as well as lots of rest. It's important if it doesn’t begin to improve after a couple of days to go back, also if it effects breathing/swallowing.

I had it really badly in 2018, gp surgery wouldn’t let me be seen until I couldn’t speak or breathe, luckily I had a gp appointment a couple of days later as unbeknown to me it had spread (black spots on roof of mouth signified that), and, was beginning to effect breathing and speaking. I was on different antibiotics for about six weeks. I was told to gargle with salt water and try the difflam spray and rest lots as I refused to go to hospital.

 

[conrea37]

Agree with crest though the place I used to order it from (haven’t used in ages cause I keep forgetting or are too busy) closed down

 

[Kim Mild]

is anyone here a dab hand at sewing? I bought some maternity jeans on Vinted and - surprise - they have rips in the knees I’m having bad luck with black mat jeans so I’m just going to keep them and sew them up, but is there anything I should be aware of?

Are they New Look ones , I had those when I was pregnant. Sometimes rippred jeans don't have enough material to sew them up because the gaps are too big to meet.

 

[becca7721]

Believe me your autocorrect is nothing compared to what I have on timeline and in my DMs on Facebook. It’s awful. So please don’t worry!

For me I know it won’t change. I’ve done all the books, the therapies, wasted thousands of pounds chasing treatments as nhs wait so long. I was seeing someone pre March 2020 but they used covid as an excuse to drop me and then sat in a room accusing me of not trying, lying help would be assigned - the ‘help’ being the man who hurt me. They’ve no idea.

 

[littlepup]

We’ve just had a new extension built and remodelled our kitchen etc to be open plan. The designer decided that removing the door between the living room and the hallway would be good, as the door wouldn’t protrude into the living room. Unfortunately, the building regs inspector has insisted that a fire door is needed and thus the door has to be reinstated. The builders are suggesting that a door is put in place to get the work signed off, but then removed and the walls made good. Leaving aside the safety aspect, I’m concerned that removing the door would invalidate our insurance if we were unlucky enough to have a fire, given that we know it’s a building regs requirement, even if the fire didn’t get anywhere near the door. Has anyone doing a refurb had a similar experience and if so, what did you decide?

The designer should have been au fait with the regs, I’d be having a word. I’d also just speak to your insurers, different companies have different rules, it’s too important to take other peoples experiences as a gurantee.

 

[CallMeHollywood]

Not a problem but I didn't want to create a new thread just to ask this silly question... how would you describe this hair colour to your hairdresser? What sort of shade is it? Are there also highlights/low-lights/something else? It's not a million miles away from my own colour so I think it would be achievable. I get a warmish blonde colour done with a few highlights, and my own natural colour is much the same as Blake's roots/eyebrows - but I'd like to know the correct way to describe what I would like alongside showing this picture. Thank you in advance!

View attachment 2334215

Maybe honey as a base colour? It’s kinda beach blonde hair lights too. To be fair, her hair is iconic, I’m sure the hairdresser will know exactly what you’re talking about.

 

[FlyingGirl4]

Do you have family/friend support to move out in the interim if you were to end it? Or does he?

My mother said she would help. He would have to move back home which is over 300 miles away as I don’t think he could afford to live and support himself. To be honest, it’s the thought of going back to square one which puts me off, but I suppose I’ll have to start somewhere. Thank you for replying xxx

 

[Okgolightly]

I think this is one of those unsolveable problems (other than moving house!) but I just want to vent.

My neighbours are awful (they're born again Christian be kind types) and their kids (aged about 9 to 14) re the most entitled little shits I've ever come across.

We have had issues for years with them kicking balls into my garden. They let themselves into my garden to get the balls back either by climbing the fence (which I've had to replace once) or lifting the panel or climbing my gate. They also relentlessly kick the ball against my fence which is falling apart. If I'm in the garden they shout for the ball back (no please or thank you). We had about 20 of my sons friends over for BBQ a couple of months ago and at 10pm when we were in the garden the kids were shouting 'shut up'

Today in the space of under 10 mins they kicked 2 balls over, climbed over, kicked over 2 more, climbed over. on the 3rd time I caught them and told them to get off my fence. They then spent the next 20 mins peering over like fucking Chads.

The parents are idiots so there is no point talking to them but I'm just sick of feeling I can't ever go out in my garden, or that I have no privacy.

I've got some plastic spike things I can put on the fence but I expect they'll just do something else if I stop that (I changed the gate and the panels are now screwed in so cant be lifted from their side, hence them now climbing the fence)

Without going all Mumsnet I think a lot of it is rooted in jealousy as my house and garden are twice the size of theirs but that doesn't make it easier to deal with! My plan for years has been to move to another (nicer and cheaper) part of the country to live with my partner but we split up last year so that put an end to that.

Urgh I feel for you this sounds so frustrating. Can you get one of those things to put in your garden that emits a high pitch noise only people of a certain age/animals can hear? I can’t remember the name of them but might be worth a go?

 

[stargirl23]

This is completely random but I really need some advice because I am stressed!!!
I went to the doctors last night due to extreme bloating. They did a routine pregnancy test which always comes back clear. The doctor came back and said “there’s a very very faint line. Very faint but definitely there” Believe me when I said I PANICKED. She made me do another and it was clear.

I did a home test last night and this morning. Both negative.
So, am I definitely not pregnant? Why did the first one come back with a faint line? Am I stressing over nothing 🥲🥲

Sounds like an evaporation line I’ve had them before nothing to worry about. If you’re really worried do a digital one as that’ll be most accurate and say pregnant/not pregnant rather than lines

 

[TheGlossy]

Someone parked in the parking spot that’s under my apartment lease. I don’t have a car but regardless, the parking spot comes with my apartment in the lease (and is therefore paid for as part of my rent) and no one else should park there.

I rang the security in my building to check what the story is and I was told off because I rang from an unknown number. I didn’t even realize the caller ID was switched off.

I mean seriously. What kind of nonsense is this? The security office keeps a record of all cars registered to access the parking lot.

I took pictures of the offending car parked in my space.

Two questions:
- If it is not an isolated incident and the car takes over my space, what can I do if the security refuses to help?
- If I found out my agent/landlord gave the spot away without informing when it is part of my lease and therefore paid for in my rent, what can I do? Can I ask for a rent reduction?

 

[WeHadFunRight]

Honestly the home has a absolute shocking reputation as it is, if this is the final straw then hopefully someone better will take it on an the residents will get a more deserving care than what they get right now

That’s so sad. I don’t understand how these homes always end up so poorly run. But do threaten them with being reported to the ICO. It should wake them up with regards to data privacy at the very least.

 

[Tanne1999]

Yeah, pharmacy said it’s too far gone for any over the counter treatment. Advised to try docs again, which I did and they have sent a referral off to podiatrist- but no appointment for 16wks minimum

Just spoke to 111 who said to wait it out as well.
Not sure how I’m going to manage another 4 month’s minimum of this. I literally cannot walk properly!
Can’t afford to go private atm either

 

[MissTeddy]

thank you, really torn what to do.. don’t necessarily want to complain as such as my son received many surgeries from a surgeon which i would describe as outstanding care however long term his condition still needs managed and this is where the surgeon is really lacking. Theres a few surgeons far better suited that i would like a second opinion from but I feel really anxious about rocking the boatx

where consultants are concerned there are huge egos at play so you are absolutely right to tread carefully. In our case there was clear negligence. You have the right to advocate for the best treatment for your son. Good luck x
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going to court sounds so daunting, but ive been given a date to leave so im really worried this is it.

if they have gone so far as to give you a court date for rent arrears you must have had many stages leading up to this. It would start with letters, phone calls before moving on to bailiffs. It’s never good to bury your head and hope things will go away. Make sure you take decisive action now so you fully understand the process and can present yourself in the best light. good luck.

 

[Rockin' Robin]

I do Wills at work and we always ask beneficiaries to stay out the room whilst we take instructions on the Will, just so we can be sure there's no undue influence. We ask them to wait in reception whilst we take instructions. If the person wants us to we'll then call the beneficiary in and go over what's been discussed, but only if the person making the Will asks us to. Otherwise we ask that they're not present at the interview.

Thank you for your reply.

 

[WeHadFunRight]

Thanks, I'll look them up an try an get a formal letter sent to them, I honest to god hope they haven't been giving out residents addresses either, there's many in there with partners still living at home that may be vulnerable, I'd be sickened to know that staff were showing up to their homes to ask for money or something, not everyone these days are honest people

If the ICO are made aware of poor GDPR compliance they’re not going to look very favourably on them. They can issue huge fines which are made public and create reputational damage.

 

[TheGlossy]

I encountered a bit so pleasant situation at work and would need some advice:

I had a panic/anxiety attack out of the blue at my desk (these never happen in public). I was very quiet, so it wasn’t very noticeable unless you were watching. It rarely happens but it did because I was under a heightened level of stress.

A coworker saw me rushing to the bathroom and followed me. I told them it’s just stress related, nothing to be worried about and I would like for this to remain private. Next thing I know, 10 minutes later this coworker went and told the people in my team and my manager about this after I had specifically told this person NOT to mention it to anyone. They blew up the whole thing out of proportions.

My manager rang me and saw I was fine afterwards. I was just having a personal moment which is what I told the manager.

This came right after the announcement that I was put on the track to move up to the next level of seniority.

I’m really frustrated now because I told this coworker not to tell anyone about this because it wasn’t worth escalating or running their mouth over. They did the polar opposite of what I told them thus breaching a boundary of mine.

Now, I’m worried this may affect their decision to put me on the track for the next level because I’m afraid the manager will think I’m not ready.

What should I do?

 

[Rxt156]

I did have a few words with the guy at the door but really it wasn't his fault, he probably had no choice as they are quite the bullies, so unfortunately he got the brunt of my anger, I am hoping he went back to them about what I said but now am left with the knowledge that random staff know where the house is

This would infuriate me too. Privacy invaded massively. Management need to know it’s not acceptable.

 

[HoGi]

Would you buy a house without a bath?

We have a small bathroom with a shower over the bath. We are a family that 99% of the time shower, my 7 year will occasionally have a big bubble bath, maybe 3 x a year.
We will be redoing it in the next year or so. I'm thinking of getting rid of the bath and making it into a wet room with big walk in shower. We do however have 2 ensuites that are showers. But we want to keep our ensuite kid free and the 2nd ensuite is in our 15 year olds room so he doesn't particularly want younger siblings coming in and out.
We have no plans to sell but would it affect resale value if we got rid of bath completely or should we just do what we want without thinking about possible selling points in the future.

It would instantly put me off as I love a bath and I would be thinking I need to rip the bathroom out straight away, so I probably wouldn't even view a house with no bath.

Like others have said I think it would also put off those with kids.

 

[Okgolightly]

Anyone had tonsillitis? Any tips to get it to stop hurting as painkillers aren't touching it at all and I've had 3 hours sleep the past two nights in broken chunks, I'm literally dying and also crying which only hurts me more haha.

I've been given antibiotics by the doctor hoping they will help but I've only just taken my first dose.

I had it before when I was about 18 but don't remember it being this bad then...

I’ve currently got it, must be doing the rounds but this bout is awful! Second the difflam spray, I can’t use it currently as I’m pregnant but when I’ve used it before it’s been a life saver in terms of numbing the pain. And lots of ice lollies/yoghurts help I find. Hope you feel better soon