The advice thread for random problems #2

[petitspois]

I think, being completely honest, I’d do whatever I could to get them both home. Say anything. Then I’d sneakily drive him to the opposite end of the country without her knowing. Steal his phone etc…
Not very moral I grant you but that’s my approach.

 

[Frenchie]

I think, being completely honest, I’d do whatever I could to get them both home. Say anything. Then I’d sneakily drive him to the opposite end of the country without her knowing. Steal his phone etc…
Not very moral I grant you but that’s my approach.

Oh believe me this has crossed my mind
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I wish there was something else I could suggest. I desperately hope it all resolves itself 🤍.

Thank you

 

[MissTeddy]

Could you take her away on holiday- get her far, far, away from him for a few weeks. See if she can remember how nice and relaxing life can be without a toxic man in it?

 

[Frenchie]

Could you take her away on holiday- get her far, far, away from him for a few weeks. See if she can remember how nice and relaxing life can be without a toxic man in it?

I wish I could
She’s had a lot go on in the space of a few months a few years ago, lost a lot of friends, I think she feels he’s all she’s got?
We are close and do text/talk daily , I think he’s brainwashed her tbh

 

[disillusionedbythegram]

I wish I could
She’s had a lot go on in the space of a few months a few years ago, lost a lot of friends, I think she feels he’s all she’s got?
We are close and do text/talk daily , I think he’s brainwashed her tbh

How long have they been together? Did the friendships break down since she’s been with him? Cutting off their partners from their support networks is a classic abusive behaviour unfortunately

 

[Frenchie]

How long have they been together? Did the friendships break down since she’s been with him? Cutting off their partners from their support networks is a classic abusive behaviour unfortunately

Ummmmm year roughly possibly bit more, yes it caused problems at her work as his ex worked there
She took him in and said you can stay if you work etc etc, he never has, she’s now lost it all

 

[minceheed]

Looking for a wee bit of advice on overwhelming friends 🫣 as much as I appreciate a friend who is able to keep in touch as grown up life is hard to make time for friends but this is none stop! Texts begin around 5.30am and continue all day, not so much as a conversation but random statements, updates about people ave never met. Ive asked before for a bit of space and I would text when im ok but she took that I had posted an Instagram story to mean text me again on every platform she could! One day i didn't reply for a day and a half and I had 9 messages in that time, always needs to know what im doing and I find it overwhelming but don't want to hurt feelings and obviously has ignored me when ive asked for space! Any ideas how to deal with this

 

[Rxt156]

Looking for a wee bit of advice on overwhelming friends 🫣 as much as I appreciate a friend who is able to keep in touch as grown up life is hard to make time for friends but this is none stop! Texts begin around 5.30am and continue all day, not so much as a conversation but random statements, updates about people ave never met. Ive asked before for a bit of space and I would text when im ok but she took that I had posted an Instagram story to mean text me again on every platform she could! One day i didn't reply for a day and a half and I had 9 messages in that time, always needs to know what im doing and I find it overwhelming but don't want to hurt feelings and obviously has ignored me when ive asked for space! Any ideas how to deal with this

God that is my worst nightmare. More the chats or just leave them on ‘read’ without a reply. She will get the hint if you keep not replying. Think she needs to get a life personally lol

 

[Snippysnips]

Looking for a wee bit of advice on overwhelming friends 🫣 as much as I appreciate a friend who is able to keep in touch as grown up life is hard to make time for friends but this is none stop! Texts begin around 5.30am and continue all day, not so much as a conversation but random statements, updates about people ave never met. Ive asked before for a bit of space and I would text when im ok but she took that I had posted an Instagram story to mean text me again on every platform she could! One day i didn't reply for a day and a half and I had 9 messages in that time, always needs to know what im doing and I find it overwhelming but don't want to hurt feelings and obviously has ignored me when ive asked for space! Any ideas how to deal with this

Tbh I think I would be ditching them, who even has the time to txt that much, I couldn't stay friends with someone like that because I'd end up getting pissed off to the point I'd end up in a arguement with them an that would be the end of it

Its better just to be up front an honest about it, either say that it needs to stop (I know you done before) or you are done with them, give them that decision to make, I know that you don't want hurt feelings but it's either going to be hurt feelings to deal with the now an getting over it, or you are going to reach that breaking point where it's all built up an it will unleash as a lot worse than a few harsh words about telling them to stop

 

[Rxt156]

God that is my worst nightmare. More the chats or just leave them on ‘read’ without a reply. She will get the hint if you keep not replying. Think she needs to get a life personally lol

Typo I meant to say MUTE the chat

 

[LaBlonde]

God that is my worst nightmare. More the chats or just leave them on ‘read’ without a reply. She will get the hint if you keep not replying. Think she needs to get a life personally lol

fully agree with this @minceheed - how long have you been friends because this sounds like a nightmare and you’re being way way more patient with it than i would be

i would both mute the chats and hide her from viewing your insta stories etc if she takes these as an invite to contact you. i know you’ve said you’ve already spoken to her but, if you want to continue the friendship, i would have another word and make it clear that you can’t sustain constant messaging all day. you need your own space and she has to respect that.

 

[CoffeeMamma]

Looking for a wee bit of advice on overwhelming friends 🫣 as much as I appreciate a friend who is able to keep in touch as grown up life is hard to make time for friends but this is none stop! Texts begin around 5.30am and continue all day, not so much as a conversation but random statements, updates about people ave never met. Ive asked before for a bit of space and I would text when im ok but she took that I had posted an Instagram story to mean text me again on every platform she could! One day i didn't reply for a day and a half and I had 9 messages in that time, always needs to know what im doing and I find it overwhelming but don't want to hurt feelings and obviously has ignored me when ive asked for space! Any ideas how to deal with this

My BFF is autistic and used to do this all the time. They may genuinely misunderstand and need it spelled out! Alternatively, mute them.

 

[shadowcat5]

Anyone used Cronometer or another tracking app?
the protein says that that I am deficient (49g but need 96g) however the break down of each individual protein says I getting more than 100% of each. Anyone know why this is?

 

[minceheed]

God that is my worst nightmare. More the chats or just leave them on ‘read’ without a reply. She will get the hint if you keep not replying. Think she needs to get a life personally lol

Thsbk you, I had muted it and turned receipts off so she couldn't see if i was online.
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Tbh I think I would be ditching them, who even has the time to txt that much, I couldn't stay friends with someone like that because I'd end up getting pissed off to the point I'd end up in a arguement with them an that would be the end of it

Its better just to be up front an honest about it, either say that it needs to stop (I know you done before) or you are done with them, give them that decision to make, I know that you don't want hurt feelings but it's either going to be hurt feelings to deal with the now an getting over it, or you are going to reach that breaking point where it's all built up an it will unleash as a lot worse than a few harsh words about telling them to stop

Yeah I did do that for a few years as I found it too much and a bit demanding of me! Yeah that is true, suppose a bit of hurt feelings the now as opposed to blowing up is the better option! Thank you
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fully agree with this @minceheed - how long have you been friends because this sounds like a nightmare and you’re being way way more patient with it than i would be

i would both mute the chats and hide her from viewing your insta stories etc if she takes these as an invite to contact you. i know you’ve said you’ve already spoken to her but, if you want to continue the friendship, i would have another word and make it clear that you can’t sustain constant messaging all day. you need your own space and she has to respect that.

Around 30 years so its a hard one! Never used to be this intense but despite muting its getting to the point im dreading picking up my phone, have stopped posting on social media! I need to learn how to restrict stories , will give that a search on google thanks!
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My BFF is autistic and used to do this all the time. They may genuinely misunderstand and need it spelled out! Alternatively, mute them.

Thank you! There is understanding there but she does experience low mood etc so i think it comes from that and always having to chat with someone

 

[Snowjoke]

Would anyone have any advice how to go about asking the GP for something for anxiety. I know it sounds so basic but I have really bad health anxiety so even ringing them is a big deal for me

 

[minceheed]

Would anyone have any advice how to go about asking the GP for something for anxiety. I know it sounds so basic but I have really bad health anxiety so even ringing them is a big deal for me

I would start by writing down how you are feeling, symptoms and any triggers you experience. When you call the GP you can just ask for an appointment to discuss your mental health then tell the GP you're experiencing anxiety and talk them through your list good luck!
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Would anyone have any advice how to go about asking the GP for something for anxiety. I know it sounds so basic but I have really bad health anxiety so even ringing them is a big deal for me

Forgot to add, explain the physiological symptoms you experience such a racing heart, sweating, dry mouth, these differ for most people but will be useful for the GP to assess and arrange a treatment plan.

 

[Frenchie]

Would anyone have any advice how to go about asking the GP for something for anxiety. I know it sounds so basic but I have really bad health anxiety so even ringing them is a big deal for me

Do they have a website?
My daughter is the same and she contacts them this way instead x

 

[Rxt156]

Would anyone have any advice how to go about asking the GP for something for anxiety. I know it sounds so basic but I have really bad health anxiety so even ringing them is a big deal for me

I hate talking to on the phone and explaining problems to doctors. If it helps I always think that they’ve probably seen 10 people before me and will see another god knows how many after me that they really just want to know what’s wrong so they can try to help. No judgement they just want to do a good job (and have probably seen someone’s horrible bum that day which is way worse imo). Good luck

 

[Dianne]

I think the fact that drs appointments are so often over the phone now is really difficult for lots of reasons. I had the worst case of anxiety and panic in 2019, i couldn’t even function and I felt like I wasn’t real. I booked an appointment online and was seen in person. I wouldn’t have even been able to speak on the phone.

At my Doctors there’s a page that says who each dr is and what their specialty is in, so I booked to see a dr who was the lead on mental health. I agree with others, write down key feelings and points you’d like to stress and think about whether you’d like to try medication, or therapy, or both. X

 

[Snowjoke]

Thanks for all the help and advice. I got speaking with my GP today and we have a plan of action. I made a list as suggested above. I feel a weight lifted already. Thanks tattlers