The advice thread for random problems #2

[no-no]

Have you opened a complaint with them? If so, get to the Communications Ombudsman. It’s not acceptable- most companies have policies to protect you if you’re disconnected and the fact they don’t tells you everything you need to know!

Thanks, I’d made two complaints since September but there’s “no record” of them. So many people experiencing the same on trustpilot. I’ve opened another today because CISAS can only deal with complaints that have gone through their process. Their attitude was it’s not off constantly via Ethernet so they’re not breaching contract I live alone and my security camera has been offline for months now because there’s no ‘optional’ WiFi.

 

[Mamacita]

Vocalzone throat pastilles are supposed to be good. I know stage actors/singers use them.

Ohh thank you, will definitely get some!!

 

[Tinker74]

The fact she’s made you feel like this in your own home is a bit shit tbh! If I came downstairs and smelled garlic, I’d be like “ooh who had garlic?” It’s not like you tweeted it?!

Thank you! Iam feeling uneasy and worried about her reaction tomorrow.. She seems convinced that I have behaved terribly and boyfriend coukd tell their Co workers on Monday. She does have a tendency to over react and I do walk on egg shells a lot so I should have just kept my mouth shut in hindsight.

 

[Babysnark]

L

I'm waiting for a smear test and I feel sick with nerves. I know they do them every day and don't give a shit but the thought of me laying there
I've put it off since 2016 so I know I need it done but I'm a wreck
I need to woman up. I'm 32 fgs

ETA it was just as bad as i thought it was going to be. She had to readjust the bed twice with me laid there legs akimbo , she had to readjust the speculum 3 times then use a longer one, she said I was too tall . BUT it's done, hopefully for another 3 years. Being a woman is so glamorous

Well done for just going despite the nerves!
I'm 31 and I changed my appointment 3 times before finally going last month.

Because I had abnormal cells a few years ago now I'm always super nervous. Hope your results come back soon all clear!

 

[stardust1]

As silly as it sounds, have you tried leaving it longer between washes?

I second this when my son was in NICU i had to go longer between hair washes and left it in plaits a lot now i could get away with 1 wash a week if i wanted to. I do have thick hair though.

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Anyone have any comfy shoes that are semi professional (smart casual - they are for office work but we can wear trainers) recommendations, I was thinking of sketchers but never had any so didn’t know

For me Nike Air is the most comfy shoes. My favourite pair is 15 years old and coming to the end of it’s life

 

[Snippysnips]

I’ve been hearing scratching some nights in my ceiling, but only when my upstairs neighbours are out/asleep. I’ve a severe hoarding problem, and thanks to my selfish upstairs neighbours can’t even get rid of few things I did before (they’re filling the waste bins literally after theyre collected - there’s several in property and none of us can put stuff in them). I’m really struggling today, lot of tears and fears about hoarding and having lost benefits so no electric. I overheard someone saying it must be rats because of me being so filthy and lazy just now is that even possible? It’s sunny but very cold here and still wet from getting caught in storm yesterday. I’m stuck re benefits as Drs don’t believe I’m disabled (everything still telephone only here yet are having meetings saying I must be better as not being seen when I can’t). They’ve already told the dwp I’m better. No one will help as everyone’s assuming I’m a fraud when I’m not. The thing re scratching is they make such a massive racket and jump on/off furniture/trampoline so much the ceiling is bowing and I know there’s no sound proofing and the space is tiny. The neighbours are VERY scary and aggressive so I now barricade myself inside; I can’t talk to them, contacting landlord makes abuse worse (they’ve made fun of my disability).

Sorry your going through so much, not sure I can say anything to help you as I don't know what I'd do in that situation but I hope you manage to get everything sorted out

About the rats, I can't see it being that, rats tend to stick by all these takeaway places because it's a constant food source an it's rare they go towards homes, however it might be a mouse, we at one point kept getting mice in the attic because we had a small hole at the side of the house so they would come in an climb up an you'd be surprised at how much noise such tiny little things can make an it's nothing to do with how clean or dirty the house is, I have ocd an can't have mess an got them so mice go to where ever they can for shelter, if it's from the ceiling an someone is above you then unfortunately it's going have to be them that lift the floor boards to lay traps since it's on their property that they will be

Am not sure apart from the landlord who you could contact though as really it would need to be them you raised it with

 

[Rxt156]

Update about the british gas bill- debt company saying as it is an actual read then i have to pay it. The read was not given by me and you can clearly see it is incorrect?!

I fear it is too late now it has gone to the debt company . It is totally unreasonable though.

 

[BaffledWarthog]

Hello!
This isn’t my problem. This is my friends. She has given me full permission to post. I will also give my opinion at the end. Just to see (for arguments sake between us both!) who agrees with me.
So my friend matched online with someone. This was quite a while back. Before the summer holidays. They spoke the whole time during the summer holidays however due to them both having busy lives. They never met. My friend has children. She also has a busy job. As does this man. There seems to be a bit of an age gap between the two of them. 5 years or so. Although I am not so sure on who is the younger one. I’m inclined to say him, due to his actions. Previously, I would say he displayed a few red flags. They had argued over something she shared on social media about ex’s. At this point he didn’t follow her but did seem to snoop her to be able to see this. He has said quite a few emotionally manipulative things (in my opinion) such as “Oh I didn’t think you’d like me like that” “Nobody ever wants me” “I always feel like I’m not good enough and never going to be happy” “I’m not gonna mess this up”. All this before actually meeting! They finally met this weekend and slept together. Prior to meeting she felt he was being a bit “off with her” as replies were a bit scarce. However he does work and was poorly. But he has always replied to her messages. Then they met this weekend and seemed to have a good time. They did sleep together. However once sleeping together he didn’t leave until he really had too. He spent a lot of time “chilling” with her. He even gave her cuddles and kisses with no sexual intent. Now, the crux (I think) is the original plans changed last minute as she had a particularly bad day. She’s recently got a puppy who was ripping up her flooring. Her kids had been particularly bad. So she left the house and booked a hotel. She paid for the hotel herself. Since they parted ways they have remained in regular contact. He messages her “Good morning” every day. If the chat ever goes a bit stale he will keep it going by saying something completely new. Such as ranting about his job, or asking what she’s up to, or something. He has also said on more than one occasion he finds her very attractive. He’s told her he likes her. He’s said multiple times he would be happy to see her again. However she feels he’s a bit ‘off’. He has also brought up the fact that she paid for the hotel a few times and he said “he feels bad” about it. However she paid online and didn’t give him a chance to pay. By the sounds of it he can be quite soft and affectionate. Whereas she has been hurt quite a few times and so she’s quite blunt and cold. He has previously opened up to her about him being scared of getting hurt.
So her question is, what do we think is going on here with him?

My opinion is she needs to give him a bit more time. He had every opportunity to come up with an excuse why he didn’t want to see her again. He has chosen not too. He also could leave the chat when it goes dry. He chooses to find ways to keep it going. However he is poorly. Apparently he’s off work at the moment due to being poorly. However I’m torn between him being a bit embarrassed that she paid for things. She has a good job in the NHS. And is generally a generous person. And he’s also a bit apprehensive about being hurt, as she’s quite a cold person which I would imagine is hard for him to deal with if he’s quite a soft and sarcastic person. It takes a while to get her humour. I know it took me a while when I first met her.

To be honest, I don't think there's anything off with him -it's just his personality. Who doesn't snoop around people's social medias these days? I know I use social media as a way of vetting people sometimes, not that I'd start an argument if I wasn't following them though

But I do know people with the exact same mannerisms and same old "nobody ever wants me" and I feel like they aren't emotionally there yet to own that it just hasn't worked out for them in the past. I'd say he knows their personalities both clash but he does genuinely like her and wants to give it a go so he's playing it safe and needs more time as you said. Maybe he's trying not to get himself too attached just yet in case he's feeling the same off vibes with her due to her being cold?

I know I couldn't be bothered with a personality like that especially with a busy life and it's just not attractive to me! Gut feelings are often very telling but if your friend has the patience to give him more time then I'd say go for it and see what happens.

Good luck, let us all know the outcome if there is one

 

[littlepup]

Hi all, my boiler has currently broke so no heating and the windows are so so bad with condensation, does anyone know the best way to help with this whilst I have no heating?

Do you know what’s wrong with the boiler? Check the pressure gauge if you don’t. 9/10 times it’s lost pressure you can easily fix

 

[CoffeeMamma]

Looking for a wee bit of advice on overwhelming friends 🫣 as much as I appreciate a friend who is able to keep in touch as grown up life is hard to make time for friends but this is none stop! Texts begin around 5.30am and continue all day, not so much as a conversation but random statements, updates about people ave never met. Ive asked before for a bit of space and I would text when im ok but she took that I had posted an Instagram story to mean text me again on every platform she could! One day i didn't reply for a day and a half and I had 9 messages in that time, always needs to know what im doing and I find it overwhelming but don't want to hurt feelings and obviously has ignored me when ive asked for space! Any ideas how to deal with this

My BFF is autistic and used to do this all the time. They may genuinely misunderstand and need it spelled out! Alternatively, mute them.

 

[petitspois]

Was out today and hit a little bollard in the car. No damage done thankfully. But received a call this evening to say that I also hit a car. I did stop and take a look around me after I’d hit the bollard and didn’t see any damage done to the car next to it. But they’re claiming it’s on cctv footage and I’ve damaged their back bumper which is a bit strange seeing as I was literally parked next to their car and drove out of the space. Their car was facing the same way. No damage done to my car but this particular person is claiming that my paint is on their car but there’s not even as much as a scrape on mine?? Asked for photos and they won’t send! What do I do

How did they get your number?

 

[shadowcat5]

Just a quick question. I booked and paid for a treatment for my sister on Thursday at 2pm- ish They have a strict 48hour cancellation policy. They are normally closed on mondays + saturdays. She tried to call them today to cancel as she got offered a work shift which she accepted, but they are unexpectedly closed. I told her to email them today. What are the chances they will give a refund?

She is upset about it but I told her it didn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. Their usual deposit is 50% but I asked if I could pay in full as it's our usual place and I didn't want her to worry about paying.

I would email! This has happened to me before and they honoured it because I did email 2 days before which was a Saturday

 

[Snippysnips]

Needing advice about the process of selling a house.

Basically some people on my street are selling their house, which makes me happy because it’s been difficult to live peacefully sometimes. They said they are moving in 5 weeks. If they know when they’re moving does that mean contracts have been signed? I’m trying not to get too excited

I'd assume so, either that they have a house that will be ready in 5 weeks time an can afford both till its gone, so long as their houses sale doesn't fall through or the one they are buying doesnt fall through then I'd imagine if they said they will be moving in 5 weeks then they think it's going to be definite an maybe some paper work has been signed

 

[TwooTwooTwitTwitTwoo]

Would anyone have any ideas on how I could get a stain out of a suede trainer?

Hairspray might work but go carefully.

 

[Snowjoke]

I had covid last week, I have tested negative since. Could this still be an ongoing side affect? It's is disgusting. I feel fine in myself and no longer coughing.

It's the same taste no matter what I do. I've flossed, scrubbed my teeth multiple times and even brushed my tongue as far back as I can possibly reach. I've used corosodyl (sp?) To try and kill the taste. I have the minty fresh taste for 5 minutes and then the ear waxy taste come back 🥲.


I have Christmas food to eat and this is ruining my life 🥲🥲

Ahhh no! I’d say it’s from covid. It took a wile for that to pass, couldn’t even eat toast and butter lol hope you feel better soon

 

[CoffeeMamma]

It does seem rather ridiculous, apparently neither of the parents wants to go, and apparently it was the 17 year olds idea and they were both planning it together. Also they're going north, when the parents are in the south.
I'd just tell them to take the risk, the girl is going with a boy who's obviously very tall, and wouldn't really look 17 I don't think. I've looked online and a lot of people have said that they've never been asked for ID at a premier Inn.

I’ve never been asked but I know my niece has when she and her girl friends went to a concert overnight. There was a mix of ages so they didn’t mind!

 

[Lonewolf]

Hi does anyone have any advice please?

My son is currently about to start his gcse's and has chosen music to do in college after he finishes them, my issue is I feel this is a waste of time as he's not guaranteed a job out of it imo I feel really mean in saying so and don't want to hurt his feelings as this is what he wants, he's also not that into music and I feel he's just chosen it as an easy route

Do I just leave him to it hoping he changes his mind or say something? I thought parenting got easier when they got older but seems this is wayyyy more stressful haha

 

[Rxt156]

Weird question to those who have to talk a lot e.g. in a job ( teachers maybe?). How do you do it??
I sometimes have to run 1-3h sessions at work and my throat is very sore after, feels raw. Is this normal or is there something wrong with the way I talk

It is defo something you just get used to. At first I was the same, very sore throat (also sore feet from standing at the front of a class all day ) but it is just second nature. I have noticed though that I drink a LOT more water at work than when I am at home. 2 litres minimum per day just during work hours I think that helps

 

[littlepup]

Let’s move on from garlic-gate guys. Anyone know how to get rid of that bumpy chicken skin condition that begins with a k from your arms?

You need a body lotion with salicylic acid. Palmers do one, smoothing lotion, for about £6. Superdrug do an own brand one cheaper I think or there’s Paula’s choice or CeraVe for slightly more.