Terrible arguments with friends

[Ohflogoff]

It's no wonder your friends have fallen out with you, you seem a very obsessive unhappy person.

Are you buzzbee’s ex mate anna?

 

[ChloChlo]

A major fall out can be an eye opener of your friendship imo. It can go either way.

My primary friendship group consisted of four. One *was* my best friend and who I would say is the "main girl" of this group. Not because she is alpha, but for the fact she is very bubbly and certainly has a motor mouth but she needs constant reassurance and attention. She has BPD so I totally get it but at the same time, the constant need for attention wore really thin when I had a baby last year and if I did not reply to her messages right away she would ask if she had done anything wrong or if I had fallen out with her. I always replied, just not right away. I got frustrated and we ended up yelling at eachother over the phone, she even said I was out of order for not having her as my birth partner in her anger (I had my sister). Next time we all met up, it was so awkward, she started declaring another in the group as her "bestie" as she had grown closer to her. They became so co-depenadant and quite exclusive to each other to the point myself and even outsiders had thought they had become an item. I saw less of my best friend as a result. Anyhow, she eventually fell out with the other girl recently, me and the forth girl in the group knew it was going to happen, it was like watching a car crash (it was very very messy, lots of bitching, accusations) and they now no longer talk at all. The group has kind of dissolved. We no longer all meet up. I see very little of them. My "best friend" I have seen on her own since but she just seems different. It seems awkward, it just isn't the same. It almost feels like I am being used, as a back up plan for someone to depend on. It just doesn't feel like a natural friendship anymore. I don't know if anyone can relate but it is such a shame.

I think it can be quite a depressing and lonely time too.

 

[Phoenix Lazarus]

My best friend at uni organised an Anne Summers party which I told her I wouldn’t go to as I find the whole premise of them utter cringe.

Agree one hundred percent!

 

[LittleMy]

A bit off topic and not a fall out (actually a bit pathetic of me to post) but a girl i was really good friends with as a kid recently unfriended me on facebook, ok not a big deal as we didn't actually speak but it seems to be only me she has deleted as i can see she still has everyone else we went to school with on her social media. Like...what did i do

This exact same thing happened to me too, with my
childhood best friend. Still no idea what I’ve done, but can see she’s not been on an unfriending spree because she has people she doesn’t even like on there (she’s nosey as fuck), and it wasn’t an accident because she’s unfriended my husband too. I don’t get it, but I also can’t be arsed enough to find out now. It upset me at first as we’d been friends since babies.

 

[mcfeez]

I stole her thunder on purpose apparently !

Oh my goodness. I wish I was surprised, but I do sort of know other women like this. A woman I used to work with announced her first pregnancy and that she was expecting twins. Another female colleague on our floor but not within our team announced her pregnancy like a week or so later. Cue my colleague snidely remarking "Not with twins though!" clearly super irritated.

This same girl seemed annoyed that other people were planning their weddings/getting engaged around the same time as her too though so, just one of those people.

It's awful though that it was a friend of yours who did it, how callous.

 

[Anasnake]

We both got pregnant at the same time, she hasn’t spoken to me since

 

[ChloChlo]

What an awful position for you to be in. I can’t believe he had the brass neck to call you a trouble maker that’s laughable. Convenient for him though that the negative attention was on you. I think I’d end up shouting at them both that he’s cheating, she knows it and I don’t want anything more to do with their car crash relationship. Some people are just unbelievable!

I personally think there is no way she doesn't already know deep down as he goes about it very brazenly, but acceptance is her problem.

 

[Rxt156]

IVE GOT ANOTHER ONE CANT BELIEVE I FORGOT IT
Got invited to a close friends wedding last minute (long and confusing story as to why I wasn't invited orginally, nothing bad, just that we weren't close when she was planning) when I say last minute I mean two days before the wedding as someone dropped out. I instantly said yes as I panicked because she rang me. What i didnt realise was that it was only me that was invited. No plus 1, no partner invited. I was to be on my own from 11am (early wedding) to 7pm when the evening guests arrived? I told her I would love to go but I'd be so uncomfortable to be alone all day as I don't know anyone else that was there. I was totally not prepared to be sat alone awkwardly for 8 hours before anyone else I knew arrived! I said I would still like to go to the reception. I did. She blanked me and we haven't spoken since

 

[Gembo]

This is why I do not get involved in peoples intimate relationships anymore.

I am friends with my partners brothers girlfriend. We aren't in each other's pockets but we are friendly. He cheats on her all the time. I told her of a definite time I knew of and had witnessed for myself. I have the mentality where they deserve to know because I would like to know someone would tell me. She confronted him, they broke up. My gosh, they were back together the next day, both of them called me a trouble maker and made me out to be a liar and so did she. But either way I bore the brunt, I took quite alot of abuse from them both for weeks. We did eventually fizzle back in touch when I had my baby and it became the same again. However she has recently been hounding my inbox for weeks when he goes missing at the weekends asking if he is cheating on her and for reassurance. I know he isn't on benders, he goes to stay with an old hook up in the next town. I feel bad for not saying anything, but I wont. She is notorious for falling out with her other friends whenever they tell her too. It's always on Facebook in it's full glory whenever she does... she calls everybody jealous. So what can one do other than watch the car crash and sit back with the popcorn?

What an awful position for you to be in. I can’t believe he had the brass neck to call you a trouble maker that’s laughable. Convenient for him though that the negative attention was on you. I think I’d end up shouting at them both that he’s cheating, she knows it and I don’t want anything more to do with their car crash relationship. Some people are just unbelievable!

 

[birdiefly246]

yeah that’s me! She had a 2 night stay in Brighton in a pent house flat, dinner booked (which she complained about cos if she knew she was having Italian she wouldn’t have had pizza the night before..) activities (cos she doesn’t drink) and weather was scorching so we could spend loads of time on the beach/outside at bars. Still complained there wasn’t enough to do and wanted things like a “scavenger hunt” which is now an inside joke with all my family and friends.

I know deep down it was the influence of the other girls, they were either her soon-to-be family or work colleagues so she couldn’t risk pissing them off. Therefore I was the collateral damage in it all. She’s a coward and if I saw her in the street now I’d take great pleasure in telling her so, 2 years on I’m still rebuilding my mental health to feel somewhat like the person I was before that train wreck of a weekend!

That sounds like such a lovely weekend I'm so sorry it was wasted on her! I had a friend who did something similar, we'd been best friends for years and she maintains that it was her problem but i'm convinced it was her friend in her ear and they both just wanted a bit of drama so singled me out as I was different to them

 

[birdiefly246]

It really is weddings that ruin friendships isn't

I don't speak to my entire friendship now as a result of pre-wedding antics (among other stuff but was mostly fueled by the pre wedding antics). I'm not into little girl playground bullshit so I was like yeah I do not want any part of this, kept it civil until the wedding as it was too late to back out and then said left the group the night of the wedding when I arrived home.

 

[Tea4u]

What’s the worst argument you’ve ever had with a friend? Has it been the same since?


I has a major fall out with one of my best friend as I had to leave her birthday night out early as I was up for work early the next day. She was funny on the night as I left and would send me arseholey texts for days and days after (some which I ignored. Some which contained simply STUPID suggestions that I should’ve booked the day off work for her birthday ) we had a nice time up until I left but she hated that I had to go early. I was hounded for ages with messages and we argued a lot.

Almost 10 years later it’s still not the same. Totally ruined over one night out

My ex best friend didn’t show up at my 21st birthday, I thought said BFF wasn’t replying to my messages because was on the way with balloons etc so was busy but nope. All I got was “sorry I fell asleep”... This was the start of us becoming distant then stopped talkin eventually. I couldn’t believe that in the slightest and friend didn’t seem genuine or even apologetic. FYI to give it context it was a dinner, drinks then a night out so the chances of falling asleep from 6pm - 9am is unrealistic. I am still fuming

 

[birdiefly246]

yep, exactly. One of my old friends that I fell out with was only happy in the friendship when my life was not going well, people like that have major insecurities and have to cling onto something to make themselves feel better.
Well done for not chasing.

You only see it after youre out as well, especially when you've been friends since you were teens for example. I always sort of knew it with them but it was fine cause I had plenty of other friends whereas they didn't. The wedding did change their behaviour a lot though and there was very clearly a divide when she announced the bridesmaids. The funny thing was, they really wanted me to care that I wasn't bridesmaid and they were but I just didn't. It'd have been weirder if I was asked to be one instead of not being asked tbh

 

[Chablis1]

My best friend at uni organised an Anne Summers party which I told her I wouldn’t go to as I find the whole premise of them utter cringe. I was very clear I wasn’t going and she said she was ok about it. Halfway through the party she starts trying to kick my bedroom door open (thankfully it was locked) so I kept silent and she stopped.
The next day the rest of our flat of 6 weren’t speaking to me because of my non attendance so I pointed out I had clearly said I wouldn’t go and left. Later that night we were in the student union and she grabs me by the throat and pins me against a wall screaming that I’d ruined her shitty party by not attending!
The rest of that academic year was as fun as you can imagine. Oddly at the end of the year I simply asked who she was living with the next year and the whole flat had rented a house together. She then had the fucking audacity to burst into tears and turn it round on me by saying she had been trying to tell me and not to hate her! Utterly bizarre and so glad she is out of my life.

Jesus. What a fucking nightmare of a person she turned out to be. Violent as well. You are well shot of that

 

[SassyRiv77]

what have I missed here

It's no wonder your friends have fallen out with you, you seem a very obsessive unhappy person.

 

[Tea4u]

Did you ask why afterwards or try to sort it??? That does seem odd!

Yes I questioned it and explained that you knew all the details, times so all you had to do was show up? Kept with the story “so tired fell asleep didn’t check my phone” come on! Doesn’t work night shifts so can’t use tired excuse. The more I went on about how upset I was on my birthday (I cried and all of my friends was expecting said BFF to come at anytime so kept getting asked “where’s —-??”) I felt so embarrassed too as I didn’t even have an answer.. imagine “falling asleep” on your best friends 21st and thinking a “sorry” will do. He even turned around and said “I won’t be apologising a hundred times”

If it was genuine mistake and I was in that situation, I would be so apologetic, arranging something super special asap, sending flowers or even hand delivering a gift or a card. However I received nothing, not even a card? So I distanced myself and it became mutual then one day I never got a reply and that ended our friendship. It still hurts me to this day and it’s been years. Also this was our first EVER argument - the worst and last it seems

 

[Rxt156]

I hate it when supposed friends turn full psycho.

I always think if they turn psycho that they must have always been a bit psycho and have been hiding it all this time!

 

[Rxt156]

When I was about 15 and at Girls-only High School, I quickly began to realise my sexual preferences were with my fellow sex. So much so I got round to confiding and later dating a girl in a year higher than me.

It was a wonderful adventure - to begin with. But perhaps she got bored of me or something because I soon realised she was talking about me behind my back. Which would explain some of the hurtful jibes I was getting from my school mates.

There was the inevitable confrontation, and she was amazingly blunt about her confessions in that she just saw me as another "easy target" to be "abused and then tossed aside for the lols"

I was very angry but there was nothing much I could do since she had a large circle of "friends" to protect her. But it later transpired she was a calculating and spiteful bitch, who subsequently failed her exams and never achieved anything of note, if her Facebook page was to believed.

That is terrible but I am glad that she got what she deserved in the end (naff all!)

I have a friend who can be very difficult and takes things you say the wrong way.

Kicked off coz I said I wasn’t going to be able to afford to go on her hen (it was abroad and I was buying a house) but that wasn’t good enough for her! I didn’t go though!

Has also been funny on nights out in the past when I’ve left early so much fuss that I took to sneaking off in the end and texting in the taxi. Just to add I hadn’t left her alone there was always a group of us out and girls I knew she had to get a taxi with at the end of the night.

Also terrible! Why do these pals feel that they can dictate what we do and when we do it. CBA for that!

Thanks for sharing

 

[GeorgeP123]

Self absorbed birthdayzilla. Bit like hen nights. It seems to turn a person into an irrational melt.

I couldn't go to my best friend's hen party. I was on an important residential training course for my job which I was on and I couldn't travel 8 hours at the weekend to go to the hen party and then travel 8 hours back as I had exams as well and had to revise for that.... she couldn't understand it. She just couldn't understand that if I went, my job would be on the line. Thought her hen party was more important. It's ok now but it did ruin the friendship for a few months.

 

[Laur91]

That sounds like such a lovely weekend I'm so sorry it was wasted on her! I had a friend who did something similar, we'd been best friends for years and she maintains that it was her problem but i'm convinced it was her friend in her ear and they both just wanted a bit of drama so singled me out as I was different to them

Thank you it’s almost worse when it’s like that though isn’t it as it shows our ‘friends’ to be cowards who can’t even stick up for themselves or for their ‘best friends’. Shows their true colours I think if they’re so easily led by other people!